Friggin Zombies

by N. C. Reed

  “You want to move in tonight?” I asked, shocked.

  “No point in waiting,” she shrugged. “My roommate is out of town, but if she gets back before the shit hits the fan can she come to? She really won't have anywhere else to go.”

  “Can she shoot?” I asked.

  “She can, though I don't know how well. She's a good cook, I do know that.”

  “Well, all right I guess,” I grinned. “Every guy I know will think I'm the luckiest SOB alive, this gets out,” I laughed.

  “And you just might be,” Connie shot back at me with a malicious looking leer. “Better be on your P's and Q's buddy. Now, I have to go. Your scripts are printing up. Please, just in case this isn't the end of the world, pay cash for one of them, okay?”

  “For both,” I nodded. “I need a doctor's excuse for work, to,” I added. “One that puts me off through next Monday or a little longer even. You can say I've got whatever crud that waiting room was full of.” I gave her the fax number for my office. She frowned, tapping on her computer some more.

  “They're going to give you a cocktail to kill anything you might have picked up here today,” she told me. “Can't have you sick when the zombies roll in after all.”

  “You don't really think that will happen, do you?” I asked. I guess, maybe, I wanted someone smart to tell me that 'no, this isn't what it looks like.' Connie didn't oblige.

  “Until you showed me that video I was concerned, but nothing else. Now? I've skipped worried and moved right on to 'afraid'. There's only two levels above that,” she said.

  “What are they?” I had to ask. I mean, I had to. You would have to.

  “Bugging out and scared shit-less,” she told me without missing a beat. “And I'm pretty much bugging out. Now, go and make room in your trailer, or unload, or whatever. I'll see you in a couple hours. I have a phone call to make and then patients to see.” She held up the number I had given her for the freeze-dried food company. I nodded and waited for the nurse to bring my shots.

  Of course. Zombies on the inbound and I get a big fat needle in both sides of my ass.

  Friggin' zombies.

  CHAPTER THREE

  I gotta admit, I left the doctor's office feeling pretty good. Well, other than a knot beginning to swell on each ass cheek that is. Damn shots.

  But come on. What guy doesn't dream of spending the end of the world with a hot as hell girl? Not me, I can tell you that much. Connie was as beautiful as she was smart and I knew for a fact that she could shoot damn near as well as I could. Despite the whole 'end-of-the-world' thing that was going on, things were definitely looking up as far as I was concerned.

  I figured I had to stop day dreaming though and get some work done. I made a quick coughing call to my job, assuring them that I was almost dead with some kind of virus that I couldn't pronounce, had seen the doctor and been given a shot and some meds, and Lord Willing would be back sometime next week, hopefully Monday. I threw in a warning about 'it' going around, and hung up. I know, I know. Should have warned my co-workers. How, though? 'Hey guys, the zombies are coming?' Yeah, that would have gone over real well.

  Anyway, I went to two different drugstores and left my prescriptions. While I was waiting for them to be filled I ran home and unloaded the trailer. Took a bit longer than I'd thought it would, and by the time it was finished I was winded. Still, things were looking better. Right?

  With the trailer and the van unloaded, I locked my place down tight again and headed back to town. I had cut it pretty close but managed to make both pharmacies before closing, paying cash for my medicines. I had used pharmacies I didn't normally go to, since my regular pharmacy had my insurance information. While I was there, I picked up a buggy full of OTC meds and some stuff to add to my first-aid kit. And I got several gallons of bleach. Bleach kills any germ, right?

  On a whim, literally at the last second, I got three boxes of condoms. What? Man can dream, can't he? Besides, there's no harm in being prepared.

  With that done, I checked my watch. Sixty-two hours, fifteen minutes. Shit, where was the time going? I still had over an hour before I was supposed to meet Connie so I took out my lists and perused them again in the Walgreens' parking lot. Got that, got that, need that, definitely need that, and so on. I ran back to the Lowe's and bought four more gas cans, then headed to fill them up. Another twenty gallons of gas. I was careful to make sure all the tanks were treated. I also filled up the tanks on my van, adding stabilizer to them both. If I wanted to move once things went to hell I'd need gas, right? Plus, I could always siphon gas from the van to run the generator in an emergency. Smart huh? Thank you.

  Once all that was done it was getting time to head for Connie's. If I was early then I could help her pack I figured. And I was getting hungry. Once we had her stuff loaded I wanted to get something to eat.

  Connie's apartment was in a pretty nice place, with a gate and a wall. If the other residents had been on board it would probably have been a good place to hole up. But people, being people, were hard to predict. It was better to limit yourself to a few people that you knew you could trust and count on, right? I didn't know Connie's roommate, but I had trusted Connie to take care of my health for years, so I figured I was technically already trusting her with my life. Right? How was this really any different?

  She apparently had been watching for me. As I pulled in she was waving to me from the door of a ground floor apartment. She'd also been busy. I could see tubs and suitcases sitting inside her door.

  “Just in time,” she smiled tiredly as I got out. “I'm about ready to go. Can you help me?”

  Of course I could. In all kinds of ways. I shook my head at that. Concentrate Drake. Concentrate.

  “That's why I'm here a little early,” I managed to nod seriously. “What's first?”

  It took about twenty minutes to get her things completely loaded. There were gun cases, ammo boxes and several tubs of emergency gear along with the suitcases and other tubs with her personal stuff. It was obvious that she was leaving a lot here, but then this might be temporary. We could always come back for the rest of her stuff if we needed to.

  Well, probably.

  Once we were done Connie leaned tiredly on the trailer, catching her breath.

  “I'm hungry and exhausted,” she said flatly. I nodded.

  “Been a long day for me too,” I agreed. “I thought we could grab a bite to eat first and then head to my place. You can unpack what you need for tonight and I'll get the rest later tonight or tomorrow. I assume you're working tomorrow?” She nodded.

  “I've canceled all my appointments after Wednesday for next week. Rescheduled them for the week after. If there's still anyone to treat after that then I'll play it by ear. Eating sounds good to me. My treat,” she smiled.

  “That's not how I imagined our first date going,” I laughed, only half joking. She laughed back, but was smiling.

  “Don't worry about it,” she pushed me slightly. “You can make it up to me later. If there is a later.”

  We headed to a small restaurant just outside of town, a nice little steak house that was locally owned. Probably one of the best places for beef anywhere. Well, it used to be anyway.

  We had a good meal. By some kind of silent agreement neither of us mentioned the worries that had brought us together. There would be plenty of time for that, assuming we didn't get eaten. If anything actually happened.

  Connie was a good conversationalist even tired, and I enjoyed the meal and the talk a good deal. Occasionally I found myself drifting away from the conversation, wishing I had asked her out a long time ago. I had no real excuse other than the fact that I was sort of anti-social, and she was painfully good looking, and what would she want with a guy like me anyway, and so on. You know, the usual.

  Once we were finished we headed home.

  I would imagine that her worst moment was right before we walked inside my house. When we first arrived she had given my place a once-over, nodding in a
pparent approval. It was an older home, one I had remodeled after I bought it. Solid timbers, old fashioned framing, a real house built in a time when stuff was made to last. I had spruced it up a good bit, but the guts of the place were still as solid as when it was first built.

  I opened the garage door and bowed slightly, waving her inside. She stepped in, cautious at first and I decided that her good sense was finally kicking in. Why had she decided to come here, what was she thinking, how well did she really know this guy, you know; all that kind of stuff. I said nothing, following her inside with the suitcase she'd wanted for tonight.

  She made it about five, maybe six steps inside before she stopped short, looking around her with surprise evident on her face.

  What can I say? I like my comfort. Yes, I enjoyed the outdoors. Hunting, camping, off-roading, all that kind of thing. But I didn't want to live like that.

  My house was pretty nice, especially considering I was a bachelor I suppose. It was clean, well furnished, and roomy. She looked back at me finally, eyebrows raised.

  “What?” I asked, though I pretty much knew what was going through her mind.

  “I'm at a loss for words,” Connie admitted. “I admit I was a little apprehensive, but. . .damn, Drake, this is nice.”

  “Thank you,” I nodded, grinning a bit. “I've had this place a while and I never seem to stop working on it, to be honest. Glad you like it.”

  “I might have visited you sooner if I had known how nice this place was,” she told me, eyebrows raised. Once more my heart, and other pieces of my anatomy, fluttered.

  “Well, happens this is all just a great big misunderstanding, feel free to come and visit anytime,” I told her, more to cover my sudden, ah, fluttering, than anything else.

  “I'll do that,” she promised and the fluttering reached a new height.

  “Here, let me show you to your room,” I said, managing not to stammer. I led her through the dining room and down the hallway to the bedroom that I kept set-up for visitors. Thankfully it was very nice, and it had it's own bathroom, too. She whistled softly as I turned on the light and motioned for her to enter.

  “Wow, Drake, you just keep impressing a girl, don't you?”

  “If I had even dreamed you would be impressed I would have shown you an album of this place at least two years ago,” I told her truthfully. Damn it, she had to know the effect she was having on me. Hell, the effect she would have on any red-blooded American male who wasn't confused about his sexuality. I decided this was going to be a lot harder than I had first imagined. Damn it, I meant more difficult.

  “Well, I'm going to get a shower and hit the bed,” she said suddenly. “It occurs to me that I'll need a ride into town in the morning since I rode here with you,” she added. “Sorry.”

  “I'll be up before dawn anyway,” I shrugged. “Lots still to do, and not much time to get it done. By the way, did you get your food ordered?”

  “Yes, and apparently just in time,” she nodded. “The operator that took my order told me that they were suspending all orders after closing today. My order is supposed to ship tomorrow and be delivered here.”

  “Good deal,” I told her, relieved. “I'll try and get all my other running finished after I drop you off in the morning. Once that's done I'll work on making sure this place is tight, so I'll be here when the delivery gets here. Make sure and get me a list of what you ordered.” I pointed to the small chest next to the bathroom door.

  “Towels, bath-rags, extra blankets and what have you,” I told her. “There's some soap and shampoo already in the shower if you need them. There's an alarm clock on the night stand. If you need anything let me know. Good night.”

  “Night, Drake,” she smiled tiredly. “And Drake?” her voice caught me at the door. I turned.

  “Thank you.”

  “Totally my pleasure,” I smiled, telling the absolute truth. “Sleep well.”

  I sure as hell wouldn't. This was not how I fantasized getting Connie Kane under my roof or into my bed. Hey, that bed she was going to sleep in was mine, so technically I could say that.

  I walked back to my study muttering under my breath. Not really at anything, just. . .well, come on, man. My absolute dream girl was in the shower in my spare bedroom right now and I was going to surf the net looking for news about zombies.

  How screwed up is that? Right?

  Forcing the image of my unbelievably hot doctor slash roommate in my shower lathered up and wet (not helping, not helping, not helping) I fired up my computer and started looking at news stories. Several of the original stories I had keyed on had been updated, and I faithfully read them all, saving them to my hard drive in case they disappeared overnight.

  There was still no official panic, but the stories were beginning to take on a more concerned tone. For some of the reporters it seemed this was no longer merely a story. Maybe some of them had loved ones who had been affected, or perhaps they had learned the truth, either from their own experiences or from someone else. Either way, those reports had a more urgent feel to them.

  One story in particular got my attention that night. It seemed that more than one small European town was experiencing power outages that somehow prevented communications outside of town. No phone or radio contact of any kind for the last twenty-four hours. Conveniently, each one of these towns had also had the bad luck to suffer damaged bridges or rock slides or some other minor catastrophe that prevented travel to and from the affected region. As Yoda might have said, 'Is strong with the bullshit, this one is'.

  Well, he might not have said it but I would have, and did. One, maybe two towns, sure. Stuff happens and that's a fact of life anywhere in the world. But when you have more than a dozen places, some of them widely separated from any of the others, all suffering from the same problems at the same time? Give me a break. Who's that stupid?

  All right, all right. I know there are plenty of people who are that stupid. Well, were that stupid anyway, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Bottom line was, this was looking more and more real to me. Even if it wasn't some kind of zombie thing, clearly something was wrong in Denmark. And Spain. And Belgium and. . .well, you see what I'm saying. Someone in power was trying desperately to cover it up, but there was only so long you could keep something like this a secret. From the looks of these reports, it was clear that time was drawing to a close.

  Another thing that was clear, at least to me, was that the problem, whatever it might be, was getting worse. Or at least spreading and doing it quick. I checked my watch. Fifty-seven hours, nineteen minutes.

  I sat back, letting go of a long breath. My self-imposed time limit was running out in just as big a rush. I took out my lists again and started checking them over, making sure that I marked off everything I'd already accomplished. It was still depressingly long.

  On the bright side, I wasn't going to be alone it looked like. Despite my hots for Connie, I admitted that her presence was comforting for other reasons. Sure, her being a doctor was a definite plus, but. . .considering my fears the night before, just having someone else around should things go south gave me a pretty good feeling. Of course, the fact that it was Connie made it a lot better feeling. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. But you get my point.

  With my lists updated I decided to hit the shower and go to bed myself. I would need to be hard at it by sunrise, getting the trailer unhooked and the van unloaded. If I could do all that before heading to town, then I wouldn't have to come back to do it once I dropped Connie off.

  Although I didn't think I'd sleep much, considering my company and all, once I'd stood under the hot water a while and then toweled off I hit the bed and went straight to sleep. Tomorrow's worries would wait for tomorrow to get here.

  I hoped.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  By dawn I was awake and ready to go. Today I decided to abandon any hint of stealth, and strapped my gun on my belt to start with, along with an extra mag and some other accessories. I had too much to do and to
o little time to get it done to worry about scaring or offending anyone. Besides, I had a permit and I was on my own property.

  I moved the trailer off to the side of the driveway, doors facing toward the garage to make it easier to unload later. The van didn't have a lot left in it since I'd unloaded it the night before and Connie hadn't left much inside. It was the work of only a few minutes to clear out the van and less than an hour to get the trailer. It was nowhere near as loaded as it had been when I'd brought my first load of stuff in. Once that was done I stood outside for a minute, thinking.

  The van was my work vehicle but it was pretty handy for most other things, too. Still, if things really did turn all end-of-the-world on me, I'd need more than the van maybe. I'd need Big Baby. Realizing that I hadn't thought far enough ahead, I started for the barn.

  Now Big Baby is. . .well, my baby. I mentioned I liked off-roading, remember? Well, I did that with Big Baby. I also took her camping, fishing, hunting, basically anywhere I could justify taking a 1972 K5 Blazer with a 454 cubic inch engine that was cranking right at four hundred horse power, a four speed heavy duty. . .well, you get the idea. Big Baby is a bad ass old girl. Four extra inches of lift to accommodate the oversize tires, heavy brush bumper that doubled as a water tank and air tank, roll bar with. . .I'm doing it again. Sorry. Thing is, Big Baby is my pride and joy. She's been re-built from fender to fender and bumper to bumper. If I could figure a way to get it on there, Big Baby's got it.

  She also drinks gas like an elephant drinks water. To compensate she had twin oversize fuel tanks and a third tank beneath the bed liner. Their combined capacity gave me about eight hundred miles range without refueling. That may not sound like a lot, but thing is? That eight hundred miles could be over the worst ground in the area and I'd still be able to get there. As Fremont said, a man moves when he wants or he doesn't move at all. Well, Richard Chamberlain said it in a movie where he played Fremont anyway. So there.