by LJ Swallow
I flop down again. "Please don't go there. I thought we'd moved past that."
He drags a hand down his face. "We have, but the thought of hurting you, Maeve..."
I take Andrei's hand and tug him towards me. "Sit."
He doesn't move and watches me silently, long enough for a shiver to run from my head to my toes. I forget how intense Andrei can be; how much he hides beneath his laconic personality.
"I never thought I'd care about anybody or anything. There didn't seem any point if I would die anyway. Now there's you, and I love and hate this at the same time."
"Love and hate me?" I ask as his words slap me.
"No!" He sits. "Caring about—loving—somebody makes life harder to hide from. You make me focus on the future. I've spent years blocking out that future and now I'm scared I'll never have one."
"Which is why you're taking drugs?" I ask, unable to hide the disapproval in my voice.
"Again, Maeve, you have a bad opinion of something similar to what we learn in Potions class. I'm not the only one who uses this, and it's less addictive than alcohol."
"Mmm. But you're using Lix to wipe out what you're feeling, not for the hit."
"The numbness helps. I can focus on the future—believe one exists."
"Stop the drugs," I say.
"I'm cutting down and thought that would be enough. I can't stand seeing you and not touching or kissing you. Time with you gives me a high too, you know?"
His words resonate inside my heart and soul. Why did I give him that ultimatum when I've found this harder to stick to than I imagined.
"Once I stop completely, the old, broody Andrei will be back, and I'll be worse than usual," he warns.
"Ha!" I push him in the chest. "You never stopped being him."
Andrei's mouth tips at one corner. "Maybe the old Andrei would be a good idea. He's the guy you spent weeks dreaming about."
"I did not!" I retort.
"The one you wanted because you had a taste for danger," he whispers.
Beneath his teasing, there's a tension that comes from the truth. "No."
He runs his finger from my forehead to my mouth then pulls my bottom lip down with his thumb. As he does, his eyes drop to the skin visible at the top of my blouse.
"You also wanted me," I say.
His eyes flick back to mine. "For all the wrong reasons, Maeve."
Andrei's subtle scent and the familiar mint joins with the words to remind me of the evening he showed me some of the reasons. My heart skips when he moves his lips closer to kiss me again.
Chapter Fifty-Three
ANDREI
Kissing Maeve blows my mind. Every. Single. Time. The softness of her skin beneath my fingers begs me to touch her, taste her… At first, I thought the lust caused the ridiculous tingling in my chest each time Maeve graced me with a smile or kissed me, until the night I realised lust was secondary to how I feel. Pretty damn close to overriding my affection, but I held back.
Like I am now.
Usually, I wouldn't listen to someone making demands, but the drugs need to go. Facing life will be tough, but I believe Maeve can help.
She's here now, the girl who brings the sunlight I can never see and fills my life with blinding colour. Our lips are close and Maeve's part in anticipation, as I brush mine against hers, barely touching. She shivers slightly.
"How many times did you want me to kiss you before you did?" I whisper against her lips. I push a hand into her long hair and grip, the way I did when we first kissed. "Or were you scared?"
"Of course, I was." Her breathlessness teases me, knowing I arouse her too drives mine higher. "You're a vampire. Everybody told me to keep away from you."
"But you couldn't." I tighten my grip on the back of her hair, and teasingly run my tongue along her bottom lip.
I know I'm right when she pushes her mouth onto mine, and as her curves press into me, the awareness of the world vanishes. All that exists and matters is the girl in my arms, whose kiss unites me with a part of myself I crave to know better. She tastes of a familiar sweetness I never thought I deserved—and of the girl who's stolen my ability to make rational decisions when she's with me.
Here, with Maeve, is where I want to be. Kissing her wakens the part of me I'd told myself I'd never share.
I plant tiny kisses across her cheeks, along her jawline until I place my lips against her pulse point. Her breathing grows heavier, but I don't move my mouth.
Am I challenging Maeve or myself? The pulse beats stronger beneath her skin, and I focus on the vanilla perfume she wears instead. Pointless. My senses are zoned in on one thing: the blood containing a magic that could give me a greater high than Lix.
"I'm not scared of your mouth on my neck," she says hoarsely. "I'm not frightened of you."
"But you like the danger. The unknown," I murmur and slide my lips to her collarbone.
"And so do you," she whispers, her hoarse voice driving my lust back to the surface. "And I think that's one thing you like about me."
"One of many." Taking a shuddery breath, I move to kiss her again, sliding my other hand beneath her shirt and running my fingers along her soft belly before pausing—I have enough temptation from the blood without adding more.
But with one touch of her skin, one small noise of pleasure, the control drops and I press her harder against the sofa, as we lose ourselves in harsh kisses.
But I can't let go. Not yet.
Propping myself up on both arms, I look down at Maeve. Her cheeks are pink, a colour that spreads to her chest too. "Do you trust me?" I ask earnestly, ignoring the beckoning pulse in her neck.
She doesn't blink, answering in a heartbeat. "Yes, Andrei."
The strange warmth she brings grows in my chest as she traces her fingers across my face and watches as she does. Her wrist brushes my cheek, and the darker part of me pushes upwards. Her scent. Hell.
I seize Maeve's wrists in one hand and hold them over her head, removing one temptation. Her eyes widen, and mouth parts and I suddenly worry she'll tell me to move and not trap her like this.
But last time, when I warned Maeve I'm not gentle, she didn't care what I did to her. Her trust in me that night blew my mind. Was she proving a point to both of us that I wouldn't hurt her?
What Maeve doesn't understand is the focus on my human, physical lust is the way I drown out the voice shouting at me to take her blood. Focusing on Maeve's responses to my attention drags me further into the human and away from the vampire.
The books and films are filled with people seeking immortality from vampires—I would do anything to swap mine for one lifetime, not the hundreds I'll face.
A lifetime where I could walk in the sun with Maeve.
But for now, I can be my human side. I dip my head and kiss Maeve again, as need thunders through my body. Maeve grips my shoulders, digging her fingers into the muscle as I lavish attention on every inch of her skin, running my fingers down her belly, and kissing each place my fingers rest.
Maeve's scent drives me to the edge of control, to the border between showing my love and lust I hold for her—and a self-control I need more now than ever before. Stopping, I look down at her and inhale. In understanding, Maeve runs her fingers through my hair, as we stay in a calm moment, but in her eyes, I can see the storm rushing towards us.
"Do you care that what we're doing is wrong?" I ask, hoping to hell she says no.
"No." The storm darkens in her eyes. "There're a lot of things wrong in my life, but me and you together isn't one of them."
"I'm scared for you," I whisper and stroke damp hair from her face.
"Andrei?" She wraps her legs around mine and pulls me closer. Her lips touch my ear as she whispers, "Stop brooding and do to me what you've promised with that kiss."
I grin, and the deluge hits, pulling us back to the night in my room; a place where we lose track of time—and somewhere along the way, half our clothes—as we're pulled into the tempest surrounding us.<
br />
I press Maeve harder against the sofa, and I'm ready to lose my mind completely. She can hardly move beneath me, and I'm not letting her go. Not now, not today, not ever. I lift my weight from her slender body and look down, wiping hair from her face.
"I love you, Maeve." The words sound strange coming from my mouth, ones that never made sense before.
Maeve's eyes open, and they're heavy with emotion as she smiles. "I never thought I'd hear those words from you."
"Me neither," I say with a half-laugh.
She presses a finger on my lips. "I love you, Andrei, and I hope you believe your worth loving now."
I nod, and Maeve reaches out for me, so we're skin on skin again. There's a fine line between wanting her blood and wanting to possess her physically, and I face a moment in time where things could go either way. Closing my eyes, I swallow hard and keep my focus on everything but the blood.
Maeve eyes close, and she tips her head back, her neck too exposed and a groan escapes my lips. I swear under my breath, and my arms shake.
She opens her eyes and moves her head, aware when my eyes shift from her pulse point to her face. "Do you need to stop?"
"Hell, no," I breathe out.
Now is the time Maeve could admit she's scared or doesn't fully trust me, but there's no sign of anything in her expression apart from the need for us to keep going, as if we leave this moment, we'd lose everything again.
The world can go to hell because this is all I need: to be looked at with utter devotion from the girl who makes my heart sing — the one who completes me.
They can try, but nobody can touch us while we believe in what we have together.
But if anybody hurts Maeve, I've one of two options.
Kill or be killed.
Chapter Fifty-Four
MAEVE
I sit between Jamie and Andrei, with Ash in the front seat, the car jerking on the bumpy country road as Tobias drives us to the farmhouse. The atmosphere in the car is muted, and I'm filled with trepidation at what we might find, but the presence of the two guys beside me offers silent support. Andrei's preoccupied by his phone again, which I nudge and tease him about. At least he's using the phone to switch off and not using drugs to cope with what we might face.
Jamie constantly asks me if I'm okay, to the point I hold a hand over his mouth and tell him I'll gag him if he doesn't stop. Andrei snickers to himself and continues to focus on his phone.
The drive to the farmhouse reminds me of the time we hunted the hunters, a thought that sends unpleasant memories of Tobias using powerful magic on me. He's apologised and tried to explain since, but I've unanswered questions about that night. One in particular sits with me: Ash remembers two of the prisoners were hunters, and Tobias wanted hunters dead the night he wiped my memories.
Did they die that night?
Tobias claims he doesn't know the witch's name, but I find that hard to believe considering how firm a grip the Confederacy have on him. Tobias told me he's no more secrets, and I believe him, but I don't know his full story. For now, I hold onto the facts in front of me: Tobias's commitment to us is clear.
Tourists drive through this area to follow the scenic route across the moors, and to admire the views they can buy on postcards at the small villages and towns they pass.
Stopping points along the roads offer a place to park and enjoy the best views across the countryside while picnicking at the wooden benches and table provided. As we can't drive close to the farmhouse in case people are there, Tobias looks out for a stopping point to park the car. We find one a mile's walk from the farmhouse, but Tobias isn't happy to leave his car in view and we continue along a narrow, winding lane which stops close to a gate leading into another property.
The driveway towards the house stretches several hundred metres—if anybody's home we won't be seen.
"Apologies for the walk," Tobias says as we gather outside the car in the dark.
The temperature dropped a few degrees since we drove higher, and I'm glad I brought my blue hoodie to wear.
The barren terrain is made worse by this temperature drop and the wind joining us. I pull my hood over my head, imagining Heathcliff making his way across the moors, and half expect to see large animal shifters charging towards us.
"What if Vince's friends are at the farmhouse?" I ask.
"We can take them on," says Tobias. "I'm more concerned if Dominion are there. Come on. Walk."
I exchange a glance with Andrei, who pulls a face at Tobias's attitude, and I can't resist throwing words into his head: Bossy, much?
He continues walking and I sigh when he doesn't respond. Why didn't he mention his worry about Dominion before we left?
Jamie walks the other side of me, brighter than I expected. The Blackwood pendant gives him the sense of security that helps us—if we're attacked and one of us hesitates, the situation could lead to disaster.
"What were you reading in the sanctum the other day?" I ask.
"Just some research." He looks at the ground.
He's lying.
"I thought we were up to date with Magical Studies?"
Shrugging, he walks forward to catch up to Tobias.
"Have you noticed that Jamie's uh... braver than usual?" I whisper to Ash.
"The pendant," says Ash.
"Right." Is something odd here that I'm picking up on due to our bond, or am I imagining things? "When Matt had the pendant, he was attracted to Blackwood magic. Do you think that would happen to Jamie?"
"Nah. He doesn't have the book and he's not the type. Matt was cocky about his superior skills, and the magic easily drew him in. I don't think Matt meant to do what he did. Things just got out of hand."
I watch as Jamie walks tall with Tobias, like two guys confidently walking towards a fight. I hope Ash is right and things aren't 'out of hand' with Jamie.
"You're bonded to him. Do you sense something?" Ash asks.
I shake my head. "No."
"So, don't worry." Ash smiles at me and takes my hand. "Come on, speed up before Professor Whitlock starts shouting at us."
I hurry to match Ash's strides and the heather crushes under our feet as we head towards the road. No cars drive through the quiet night, no headlights visible in the distance. With no streetlights, we're hidden.
"Shit."
I bump into Ash as he stops dead and crouches by the road. "What's wrong?"
Narrowing his eyes, Ash twists his head from side to side and then places a hand on the ground. "I ran along this road. This is where the car stopped—or near here."
A small copse of trees is across the rough tarmac road, one of few nearby. Ash stands again and stumbles towards them, disappearing into the trees and the dark.
"Ash!" Tobias stalks after him and vanishes too. "Where are you going?"
The three of us rush after the pair and discover Ash standing in the middle of the clearing, looking at the ground. "There." He points, arm shaking. "I fell there."
"How do you know?" asks Jamie.
"I just fucking do, okay?" he snaps.
Wow.
"Maybe there's something on the ground," says Jamie hopefully as he squats down and pushes through the short grass.
We wait but he soon stands, pushing hair from his face in defeat. Nothing.
"We need to get to the farmhouse," urges Tobias. "We can come back."
"How far are we?" I ask.
"A mile."
Ugh. My shoulders slump. I'm not in the physical condition for this. "I wish teleportation was a thing," I mutter to Andrei.
"Me too. I'd be in your room every night."
"Shush!"
"We all know, Maeve," says Jamie. "Don't be coy."
With the smile that instantly melts my insides—and he knows it—Andrei runs a finger down my forehead to my lips.
"Guy!" snaps Tobias. "Focus."
Ash scowls. "Yeah. Pay attention."
His shift in mood since we stumbled across this area is palpab
le as he shoves his hands deep in his pockets and hesitates as we make our way back across the road. The grim mood infects us all we walk the next mile in silence.
We reach a low drystone wall, the bricks haphazardly arranged and covered in moss. An old broken wooden gate is beside a newer metal one chained to a post. This opens onto the field leading towards a single-storey farmhouse shrouded by darkness. There're no lights inside the windows at the front of the house and no cars parked nearby.
"Right. Andrei, go with Jamie to check out the farmhouse—Ash, come with me and Maeve to look at the barns." He indicates the buildings a few hundred metres to the rear, behind a tractor.
Beside me, Ash tenses. "My memories are sharpening."
"If we find evidence against Vincent, you're free of him," I say.
"Am I?" he mutters.
"Yes." I pull my sternest face. "And don't you dare think about shifting, young man."
Finally, Ash smiles at me, rejoining us from the memories he's stuck in. "I wouldn't dare."
"I hope I don't need to save your arse like I did on Halloween," says Andrei, and I swear he's only half-joking.
Tobias pulls Andrei to one side and whatever he says to him is greeted with a sullen face. "You think I'd do that?" says Andrei and steps back. "I'm in enough shit."
"Like Ash, you need to stay in control," says Tobias.
He jerks his chin up. "You haven't told us what you plan to do if things get rocky."
"I plan to help," he says simply.
"How?"
"In any way I can."
"Don't be obtuse, Tobias," I say.
"I'm a skilled mental magic user." He glances at me. "Amongst other things. I have as much in my arsenal as you do—more."
"More than Jamie, anyway," says Andrei.
Jamie scowls. "Are you saying my skills are useless? I may be a spirit witch, but we all have access to other magical elements. Especially if we practice. How're your grades going, Andrei?"
"Are you seriously arguing about grades?" asks Tobias incredulously. "Jamie has spirit magic skills and the bond with Maeve. Nobody here is better than the others."
