by LJ Swallow
His expression softens. "I could tell something was wrong at that moment, Maeve. I saw more than nervousness in your eyes—you were scared. I'd scared you, and I didn't know how or why. I pretended not to notice, but your response to me freaked me out."
I squeeze his hands tighter. "But the smile you gave me, the aura that shone around you, told me I'd be safe here. Yes, I was scared and confused over my vision, but when I saw you, the academy suddenly became less daunting. Maybe that was our bond? I don't know. I know I wasn't the nicest person when I first arrived, but without you, things would've been much worse. I hate how I killed part of the Jamie I met that day by telling you what I'd seen."
"That's better than someone killing me because I didn't know my death was predicted. You know that I don't blame you. But I do think I'm allowed a short emo phase and obsession with death while we sort this out." He gives me a crooked smile that hides the fear beneath.
"You're distant again," I whisper.
"Not deliberately. Honest. I'm worried, and you know my way of dealing with that is to throw myself into work."
"But is this work?" I catch his eyes, desperately hoping I don't see a lie in his response. "Nothing else."
"Nothing else." His gaze is steady and unblinking, but why don't I fully believe him?
"This isn't because me and Ash or me and Andrei bothers you?"
"We already spoke about this and, no your relationships with them doesn't bother me." He smiles again. "Honest."
"Is it wrong that I feel weird that Ash and Andrei seem okay with me dating both of them?" I admit.
He purses his lips. "I understand why you do, but don't feel weird because the situation isn't as unusual as you think. Often the women in witch society are stronger and need more than one man. I don't just mean physically, but to meet all her needs. Physical, intellectual, protective, empathetic—everything you're unlikely to find in one guy. All will boost her magic. The situation is similar amongst vamps—the female lines are stronger too. Polyamory is a norm, Maeve, although your situation is unusual."
My stomach lurches. "Why?"
"A witch's consorts are other witches—not a shifter, a witch and a vamp. Yours isn't a normal situation; I've never seen anything like this at the academy or in society. My opinion? Your decision to date across the races scares people. You're powerful, and it's obvious that we make you more powerful."
He meets my eyes and the worry in them is clear. "But the first time the Dominion attacked me on campus, they didn't know this. They only knew of my power."
"And now they've realised you're more powerful with us. Both the Dominion and Confederacy are scared but also want that power."
My chest tightens. I'm threatening others' lives. I look to the door, remembering the day the floor shook beneath which triggers an all-over shiver as if there's something I can sense. What if the gaping hole I stood over in my vision exists beneath the academy, and wasn't a figment of my fear? "We need to find our way under the school."
Jamie wrinkles his nose. "But there isn't a way beneath."
"There must be cellars in a building this old and big."
"Yeah, they flooded and are unusable. The only ones that exist still are beneath Petrescu."
"Vampire cellars?" I ask in horror, immediately imagining movies I've seen with victims chained to walls.
"Storage," he says with a smile.
Of people?
"How do you know? Have you ever been down there?"
"Whoa, calm down Nancy Drew." I punch Jamie on the arm and scowl. "Don't you think Tobias or Andrei would go into the cellars? And if they haven't, Tobias can head down and look for the victims."
"Stop teasing me. I'm serious."
"Sorry."
I stand again, partly annoyed and partly because I've satisfied myself that Jamie isn't hiding anything.
"How do you feel about going to the farmhouse?" he asks suddenly.
"Nervous, but Tobias usually interferes and stops us if something's dangerous. He's leading us there; I think we'll be okay."
Jamie chews on his lip but says nothing.
"Jamie... don't tell me you still distrust him."
"Do you?"
I sit back down again. "I haven't told anybody yet, but I have a connection with Tobias where we share each other's thoughts and magic. I've never sensed anything suspicious from his energy."
Jamie's mouth parts. "A connection like ours? A bond?"
"No. Not quite like us. This is a mental energy. It's hard to explain—I don't feel attached to Tobias the way I do to you. There's still a distance."
"Wow." He picks at the edge of the book. "Are you okay with this?"
"I have no choice. That's how we are."
"I need to look into this." He takes on a serious face, and I wait for him to jump out of his seat and run to the library. "A vampire and witch creating a bond like this isn't normal."
"I don't have a bond with Tobias, Jamie. Our magic detects the other person's, that's all."
But he looks doubtful, and his words flip my stomach: a vampire and a witch bond.
I curl my hand around the back of Jamie's head and rest my forehead against his. "He's not like you. You're more important."
"Am I?" he whispers. "What if this leads to something more between you and him? He's powerful and could hurt you."
"A relationship with him won't and can't happen," I say firmly.
"Because he's a professor? That means nothing."
My skin buzzes, remembering Tobias touch. If only his academy status were the sole reason. "As I said, a relationship won't happen. I have enough to contend with," I say lightly.
Something deep inside knows I'm lying, but how could I possibly have a relationship with Tobias? Look at what happens when we touch.
My forehead stays pressed to Jamie's. The day Jamie spoke frankly about his feelings—and why he doesn't act on them—the physical tension has dropped away in our relationship. Mostly—the spark is still between us when we're close, and the temptation there. Jamie threads his fingers through my hair, and I ache for him to hug me.
"Will this ever change?" I whisper. "Do you think one day you'll want to kiss me?"
My heart bangs against my chest, and I wish I'd not said the words. They sound wrong after discussing two other guys.
I swear Jamie holds his breath, and I cringe at myself. "I'm sorry, I should respect what you want," I say.
"What I want?" he says hoarsely and laughs.
As he does, Jamie's lips brush mine, so softly, the touch feels featherlight. My stomach flutters and I press my mouth against his, heart flipping with fear of rejection. Leaning across the table is awkward, and I'm supporting myself with one palm on the desk, but right now, I ache for more from him.
The kiss we share surprises me—the restrained passion is as arousing as if he'd dragged me into his arms and kissed me until I didn't know where I am anymore. The soft, slow movement of his mouth against mine curls my toes in the same way any passionate kiss does. The tension and the witch bond conspire against me, and I don't want to hold back, but I somehow do.
The way his fingers tighten into my hair tells me he feels the same.
I withdraw and moisten my lips, wishing I'd tasted more. Jamie's eyes shine, and he brushes away a strand of my hair that fell forward. "How about we do something together, one day soon? I can take you on a date—I don't see your other guys doing that."
I grin. "I like that idea."
"Witchcraft and movies. What do you think?"
I touch his lips, and he takes my hand to kiss my fingers. "Awesome idea. Are you trying to dig into my human side?"
He purses his lips. "Maybe I'm just an old-fashioned guy, and I like to woo the girl before diving into anything."
I burst out laughing, and he blinks at me. "Jamie, we are way beyond guy and girl heading out on a first date."
"But maybe that's what you need," he says, and in his expression, I see another reason. This is what he need
s. This is the role he wants to take.
And I love him for this.
"I agree. Movies next week. But, Jamie?" His eyes widen. "No horror movies, okay?"
His serious face cracks into a smile. "Done deal. Okay, I just need to finish up here, and I'll head back to Walcott.
I blink at his abrupt subject change. "Alright. Need any help?"
"Nah, I'll just shelve the books." He stands and takes a couple in one hand and cups my cheek with his other. "I worry about the visit to the farmhouse, Maeve. I'll be there for you, as I am every other time."
Before I can respond, he turns away and touches the pendant hidden beneath his shirt. He's considering the same thing I have over the last few days: we're venturing into something unknown, and Jamie still has a death mark over him.
Chapter Fifty-Two
MAEVE
The weekend arrives, and we're another day closer to our planned visit to the house on the moors where we'll hopefully find the evidence we need. Each day that passes, my anxiety over Ash's situation grows. I've chatted to him a few times, and he swears he's okay, but the sooner he's away from Vincent, the better.
Vince continues as usual, according to Ash, backing up Tobias's theory that Vincent is waiting for a moment to act. I'm worried that Tobias hasn't passed his concerns on to Theodora, but he has reasons: he can't guarantee she'd keep the information to herself.
With the academy crumbling around her, she'd possibly alert authorities. We don't want the risk of others knowing and interfering. Following Andrei's situation, we're not confident in anybody—someone might remove the evidence before the investigators or we arrive at the farmhouse.
Tobias fixes the situation from the other night with a touch of glamouring, and stern words to Vincent. Vincent knows the professor's close connection to Theodora and sensibly he keeps quiet. Of course, he will if he's hiding his activities.
I've managed to avoid Sofia recently, and she's agreed I should take a break from delving into my mind and powers whilst I recover from the trauma. Her focus switches to Yvette. Is she worried the witch and her friends are planning something?
But Sofia still likes to drop hints about myself and Jamie excluding other people from our lives.
With the final house challenge on hold, until the atmosphere settles, I've more time for studying. I spend the day in the library with the preoccupied Jamie and then head outside to wait for Andrei.
The more people comment on and resent my relationship with Andrei, the more we flaunt our connection. Our whole group makes a point of showing the academy we won't buy into their conflict and unease.
This show of unity isn't only directed at the students, but also to whoever lurks inside the academy trying to pull us apart. We're tight, but the gossip and fear-mongering continue.
Here we are, the witches, the shifter and the vamp, headed by the dangerous girl who's rumoured to sleep with them all, separately and together. I've heard the whispers, and I'm sure the others have, but none of the guys has mentioned them to me.
There's a strange vibe to us as we grow more comfortable with each other and Andrei is accepted into the group. Us against them. If only we knew who 'them' are.
Mine and Andrei's bench meetings continue, despite the lack of kissing. I don't dare tell Andrei how difficult I find keeping this distance going, and partly wish I'd never issued the ultimatum. I think Andrei paid attention to me because he's appeared more connected to the world recently.
Andrei appears on time, and I heat against the cool evening as I watch his lean figure stride towards me with his confidant gait.
He barely pauses before he pulls me to my feet. "I've stopped the drugs. Ask Tobias" he says curtly. "Not kissing you is driving me fucking nuts." He slides his hand into the small of my back and pulls me to him, the closest we've been for days. "Do you believe me?"
"Yes."
"Good."
I'm hit by a kiss so hard that he almost knocks me over. I hold a hand out to steady myself on his chest, but our bodies meet and mould together, Andrei's lips locked on mine. He holds my head steady as the kiss he gives makes up for everyone that he's missed recently.
I grasp Andrei's hair and my desire fires as his tongue strokes mine. Overwhelmed when he crushes me harder to him, I push Andrei away and take a deep breath. "That's intense, Andrei."
"Everything about us is intense," he murmurs, eyes still dark. He tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth. "Do you want to go for a walk today?"
I eye him with suspicion. "Where to?"
"Somewhere quiet. Private. Alone." The possibilities tumble into my head along with memories of our night together.
"Do you mean your room?"
He arches a brow. "No, but we can if you want." Andrei's arms remain around my waist, thumbs skimming the small of my back, sending another delicious shiver through me.
"Where are you planning to go?" I ask him.
Andrei pulls a key from his back pocket. "Cottage."
"Jamie gave you the key?" I ask in shock. "Does he know what you're planning?"
He tips his head. "What am I planning, Maeve?"
"Judging by that kiss, not watching TV."
He shrugs. "Jamie knows the deal."
"And do I know the deal?" I retort.
He winds his arms around my waist and kisses me again, slowly backing me up until I hit the wall. Andrei delves his tongue into my mouth, sliding it against mine, before slowing to run his tongue gently across my lips. The heat rushing through my blood, from the sudden passion of Andrei's kiss a minute ago, is intensified by this situation. And he knows it.
I grip onto his jacket sleeve to stay upright, and as he pulls away, he chuckles at my response. "That's the deal, Maeve."
"I'm not sure."
"About the cottage?"
"About taking part in your deviant plans."
His eyes glitter in the dark and the forbidden nature of our relationship adds to the thrill. Andrei leans forward, with his face almost touching mine as he whispers, "Liar."
We head through the campus where the full moon casts extra light and creates eerie shadows from the building's shape. I look up. "When I first heard there were shifters at the academy, I hid in my room on the first full moon."
Andrei's laugh echoes around us. "And did you carve a stake made from table leg to kill the vamps?"
I scowl at his teasing. "No. But I was surprised some of you could walk in daylight."
He drops his gaze to his feet. "Yeah. Maybe one day, the witches will solve that issue for the hemia."
"Sorry, Andrei," I take his hand. "I didn't think."
He shrugs. "I'm only bothered now because I want to spend more time with you."
We reach the cottage, and the door creaks open as Andrei unlocks it. I flick on the light as we step inside, and I brace myself for another Andrei-style kiss, but he sinks back onto the sofa, eyes closed.
"Are you alright?"
He opens an eye. "Yeah."
I sit beside him and curl my legs beneath myself, confused by his attitude change.
"Do you want to talk to me about what happened to you? Will that help?"
He falters and looks away. "Dunno."
Andrei isn't looking at me, and I turn his face to mine. My stomach sinks. His eyes are the same as last time we were at the cottage. "You lied to me," I whisper. "We spoke about this. I want to be with the normal Andrei, not one who's high."
Andrei peers at me from under his fringe. "I'm as normal as I can be, Maeve. I'm cutting down, I swear."
"Drugging yourself to cope with what happened won't work," I say in exasperation. I'm torn between starting an argument with Andrei about tricking me into a kiss, or kissing him again. That's how much he addles my brain.
"Uh. Yeah, this works."
The thought of an exciting evening with Andrei drops away because if I continued what he's awoken in me again, I'd be a hypocrite and he won't stop the drugs. "What happened to you, Andrei?"
And
rei rests his elbows on his knees, one hand in his hair as he stares at his shoes. "I saw my future, Maeve," he says in a strained voice.
"You had a vision?"
"No. I saw the place I'll live. The person I'll become. That place is filled with enough evil that you can smell it." He laughs harshly and looks up. "And that's coming from me, the evil bloodsucker."
"Don't call yourself that," I say. "And Ravenhold isn't your future."
"Yeah?" His bright eyes shine again, but darker this time. "Word spread when I arrived at Ravenhold, and that was enough for me to make enemies before I set foot outside my room. The students who run the place thought the Dominion leader's son had come to take over. Things weren't good."
"I'm sorry you went through that," I say as my irritation with him ebbs. "But you're here and safe now."
He remains distant, trapped by his thoughts. "Somebody set me up, Maeve, and I swear my mother and sister are involved. My family know that place would kill me if the authorities didn't first." He drops back and stares at the ceiling again. "If she didn't orchestrate this, then the Confederacy did. Either way, I've lost."
"Don't lose hope," I say and brush the hair from his face.
"I don't. I wipe away the thoughts in the way that works for me. Why can't you accept that? If I were human, I could go to a doctor, and they'd give me some shit to help, right?"
I swallow. "Maybe, but not long term. Andrei, please listen to me. I'm here for you, whatever anybody says or does to either of us. You have me—all of us."
As I reach out to him, he stands abruptly, and his stance stiffens. "You know what I struggle with the most?" he snaps. "That you almost died helping to free me. I almost killed you."
"Is that what you think?" I stand too. "That's a ridiculous way to interpret what happened."
"I don't think so." His face continues to shadow with anger.
"The spell inside Becci's mind was designed to kill me. Lorna's death was a way to hurt me too. That has nothing to do with you."
"This has everything to do with me!" he blurts. "I've told you over and over how bad I am for you."
