Homecoming

by Tara Lynn

  The waiter came for bread. I gazed at the menu and saw that my college fund was going to shrink by several sizes this day. Oh well, this was at least close to the experience.

  “What about you?” she asked. “Any nice guys in your life?”

  “There’s none in Freemont,” I said. “That’s why Ruby is all the way out here.”

  Sadie shrugged. “There’s gotta be someone.”

  My breath went very shallow. “Why do you say that?”

  “I just mean not everyone in Freemont can be bad right? You’re there. Ruby’s there. There must be guy counterparts.”

  “All the guys who stay want to be in the Liberated.”

  Sadie rolled her eyes. “Oh man, you know how long it’s been since I heard that word? Those idiots have no sway in places like this. They’re not an all-consuming evil like you think. Even in Freemont, not everyone can be under their grip.”

  “Maybe not. But I don’t want to take any chances.”

  The words came out easy. I’d said them so many times before. But now, Damon’s face flashed through my head. It wasn’t even his body I was imagining now, but his promise to change things. I could almost imagine him off in one of the empty booths in the restaurant - the lone cowboy who had rolled into town.

  We ordered. The food came drenched in oil and butter. I may have moaned while chewing it down. Apparently Sadie didn’t eat like this most days either or the place had an echo. We talked only a little as we gorged, mostly catching up on family things. I didn’t see the need to mention anything about Damon.

  Ruby and her new beau were leaned over barely-touched plates by the time we finished, so we left them. The two of us walked the boardwalk arm in arm, peering out at the water for sharks, and throwing popcorn down at sea lions despite the signs. Then, we left the pier, took off our sandals and set off through the sand.

  “How do you not come here every day?” I asked.

  “Who said I don’t?” Sadie said, smiling at a pair of kids chasing each other past us. “Ok, it’s more like every other weekend, but still, it’s plenty.”

  I traced the water out to the horizon. It shimmered like jewels. There was such a sense of possibility looking at that. The world was all within reach.

  “Freemont’s pretty,” I said. “But it doesn’t give you the same freedom you get looking at this.”

  “Freedom, freedom, freedom. You sound like you joined the Liberated.”

  I nudged her sharply with an elbow, but she just laughed and went on.

  “I’m just saying you’ve got to do something with your freedom. I didn’t want to get out Freemont just to find I have nothing to do out here. I thought Miss Christina Everman of all people would get that.”

  “I do,” I said. “I do, but sometimes you need the belief more than the hard work.”

  “Is everything alright back home?” Sadie asked.

  Suddenly, it was too much. I had come here to let things go, not linger on my stress.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m just being poetic,” I said. “How’s the job hunt going?”

  Sadie might have got out cause of her body, but her brains worked fine. We talked about internships and companies. There was so much opportunity here - a giant world that it was hard to think about in Freemont.

  We’d been walking the sand for a while when something boomed next to us. We jumped and spun around. It was just the big drop on the boardwalk carnival. We’d passed by without even noticing.

  Sadie and I exchanged relieved laughs. Both of us had heard gunshots growing up. Freemont hadn’t been a shooting gallery, but that made each occurrence all that much worse.

  I squirmed sand beneath my toes, shut my eyes, and reminded myself where I was. There was no sand in Freemont. Only beaches had sand. Beaches and deserts.

  Suddenly, I wasn’t here but in the dunes of Afghanistan. I doubt Damon had ever had a reason to walk barefoot there. he had said my father dying had made him leave town, but would it have been all that different, being in a strange place and hearing the same gunshots?

  The war must have made Freemont seem close to paradise. No wonder he figured fixing home would be easier.

  If the only reason I hated Freemont was cause of the violence of the Liberated, maybe running wasn’t the right thing. Maybe instead of hiding myself to what Damon did, I could help him figure out the right way to fix it. Then, it wouldn’t just be our bodies that drew us together, and I wouldn’t just be looking to run.

  Santa Cruz felt very strange suddenly. For a brief crazy second, I had the urge to blink and see green hills all around.

  “You ok?” Sadie asked.

  “Yeah. That was just…weird.”

  “You’re really stressed. I know how we can chill.

  I thought she might be about to offer me some weed, but she just turned me to the ocean. We walked until the sand squelched and clumped between our toes. We teased the tide and squealed like kids, then sat in the dry part and watched the waves. The rush and swell wiped away all the worry I had felt. In its place, my little seed of an idea grew further.

  Even if we fixed Freemont, it didn’t mean I had to stay there. What if there was a part of home that I could bring here? I hadn’t imagined there was anything I wanted to take from that place other than Jason. Now I had someone else.

  What if, one day, Damon and I came here together? In this place no one would know the stupid paperwork that tied our names together - not after I emancipated.

  Sadie was right. The Liberated’s reach wasn’t as big as it felt. There was more than a chance for us. There were so many possibilities if we were ready to take them.

  Well, he’d always been ready. It was up to me to choose.

  The waves crashed down, and I felt completely in rhythm with them.

  “You feeling this, huh?” Sadie said. “You’re seeing yourself here.”

  “I’m seeing a lot of things I didn’t see before,” I said.

  Right then, our phones both buzzed. Ruby’s date was over. We hustled back to the boardwalk and found her by the restaurant.

  “How’d it go?” I asked.

  “Amazing. He invited me to a party.”

  “Writer boy knows how to party?” Sadie asked. “Is it some geek thing?”

  “No, he’s in a fraternity.”

  Sadie’s eyes lit up. “Well, that beats the bar I was gonna sneak us into.”

  “Did I get a hookup on a party before you?” Ruby asked, jaw dropping at her victory.

  “I wanted something more private. I could have found a big crazy wild thing if that’s what you wanted.”

  “I don’t know,” I said, and they turned to me. I struggled to articulate the sudden sinking in my stomach. “I just don’t feel like getting wasted in the middle of a bunch of strange guys.”

  “Oh, she’s afraid she might get laid,” Sadie said.

  I wasn’t. Just not laid by the right person. A vast homesick ache ballooned at my center, and I set it aside. There’d be time enough for that later.

  “Sure, yeah, that’s it. Let’s do something else. You have your guy, Ruby. And Sadie can always find a guy.”

  “It’s true,” Sadie said. “I can. I wanted a girl’s night out, anyway.”

  “It’s fine,” Ruby said. “I only wanted to see Jonah anyway. I don’t know why it has to be in the middle of a hundred drunk, horny guys. I’ll text him to maybe meet up after.”

  “What about you, though?” Sadie asked.

  “Me?” I said.

  “Yeah, where’s your guy?”

  I smiled. “He’s out there, I’m sure. I just have to let him know where to find me.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Damon

  Sunday came and it was time to move, but I took my sweet time getting out of bed. It wasn’t exactly like I had a lot. And I wasn’t so eager anymore. It didn’t seem like moving would fix the problems in my life.

  The tail end of the week had been rough, with Christina next door and nothing I could
do about it. We barely exchanged words inside the house. At first, it felt like things were on hold until we weren’t sharing a roof. But then she started ducking her eyes from mine.

  The space was giving her time to think. Maybe it should have done the same for me. I’d run through reasons for this thing not to go on, but it was a lost cause.

  I was stuck on her.

  Yesterday had been a gut blow. I knew she was going on a little road trip, but it wasn’t till I saw her empty room in the dark that I came to realize how much I needed her around.

  It wasn’t much comfort that she’d headed off to Santa Cruz with her friend to meet guys. Sure, it was one guy, and not hers, but there were others around. She’d never hid the fact she wanted to leave town, but this sudden trip felt personal. It felt like she was trying to leave me in the dust.

  The only comfort was that she couldn’t just up and leave. If she did, I couldn’t follow her without pissing off the state of California. Plus, it would mean abandoning what I’d come to Freemont to do.

  It was nuts to get fixated on a girl I didn’t much know. But lying on my empty bed, I would have tossed it all aside to see her in front of me. I might not know Christina, but I understood her in a deep way. The fact that she wanted out just made me want to hold her even closer.

  Someone rapped heavily on the front door. It was Baxter’s old cadence.

  I rustled to my feet and let him in. He’d brought his gleaming blue pickup - another purchase funded by partner-level money.

  “Ready to get out of here, brother?” he asked.

  He’d come in full biker garb, but had on some flannel long-sleeve under his cut. I clasped him into a shoulder hug, then asked, “What’s with the checkers? Is that your style now?”

  He looked down at himself. “Didn’t feel like getting dirty.”

  “You work in the shop half the week. I’ve never seen you with anything but T-s and sleeveless T’s.”

  “Guess I just figured your bed would be more grimy than the underside of any car.”

  I socked him in the chest. He dove for me. I tripped him through the front door but caught him before he fell.

  “Nice way to thank me, prick.”

  “I’m not going be sucker punched cause you lent me a ride.”

  “Alright, I’ll get you fair and square then,” Baxter said, chuckling. He looked around. “House empty?”

  “Jason’s got some junior varsity thing. They’ll be back.”

  “You’re not going to miss family?”

  Baxter said this in his usual flat way, but I knew there was more to it. His dad had skipped town a long time ago. His mom died a junkie’s death quickly thereafter - another point of commonality between us. His grandma had raised him until she died while we were in high school. He stayed on in her house. I was sure he could buy something nicer, but it was the only bit of past he had left.

  “The truest family I’ve had was the Liberated,” I said, as we ventured into my room. “Lorne made sure that came first.”

  “He might have changed. Why else would he get remarried? You’re not a fan of the new additions?”

  “Not as family.”

  We grabbed the mattress and shifted it off the box springs.

  “What’s getting in the way?” he said, clenching as we set it down.

  I eyed him quickly to make sure there was nothing behind that comment. No, he didn’t know the truth of Christina’s dad. Definitely not about her and me.

  “Nothing’s in the way,” I said. “The three of them are decent folk. Maybe better than decent. There’s just nothing drawing me towards them.”

  We grabbed the box springs and started staggering out to the flatbed.

  “That’s a shame,” Baxter said. “Christina and Lisa might be lost causes, but Jason could be a good biker one day. He’s been hanging around Lorne, but an older brother could have way more draw. You could change the club from within.”

  “I’m not planning to wait ten years for another generation of kids to show up,” I said. “What do you mean Christina and Lisa are lost causes?”

  “As allies. Lisa loves your father. She’ll back him on anything. Christina’s never gonna be on either of your sides.”

  I seemed to recall getting her on her side once or twice.

  I smiled. “She’s got reason to hate bikers.”

  “It’s weird though, why she’s still in town.”

  “She’s saving up for school.”

  Baxter waited till we had moved outside and loaded the box spring. “She could leave at any moment. Lorne offered to pay, but she turned down his money.”

  Maybe that’s what this trip was: a scouting mission for a more permanent move. My palms ran damp.

  I tried to explain it away. “That’s not that surprising. She doesn’t want to find there’s strings attached.”

  “What strings? He can’t make her do anything for him. That doesn’t make sense to me.”

  “It’s principle,” I said, feeling relief even as I said it. Christina was a girl of principle, even if that principle was hating the Liberated. She wasn’t going to run to Lorne for money, even to keep away from me.

  “I think she cares more about Freemont than she lets on,” Baxter said. “Maybe her family’s keeping her.”

  “Maybe.”

  “It’s certainly not you.”

  “The hell does that mean?”

  It might have come out harsher than I meant. Baxter twitched as if I’d shot him with my look. “Just saying she can’t be too happy about another biker in her life.”

  “Oh yeah, sure. I’m not just any old biker thoug.”

  “No you are not.” Baxter smiled and flicked the ‘Probate’ patch on my cut.

  My vision went red a moment, but just a moment. Baxter did have his way of keeping you grounded. I loved him for it.

  I did, however, sucker punch him in the gut.

  We finished grabbing the rest of the bed. I even packed the headboards and stuff. I wasn’t going to be stopping at Ikea anytime soon, so the place could use any class I could bring with me. Even girls in Freemont appreciated class - especially certain smart ones.

  I rode separately on my bike, so Baxter could be on his way sooner. We offloaded into my place, but it didn’t feel like enough. The house was basically just four boxes of a grid: living room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. Half the space still lay completely empty.

  I recruited Baxter to head back and grab some old tables and bookshelves. I might eventually need a place to strategize - though a place to eat from would be a start.

  When we got back, the SUV was in the driveway. Lorne greeted us at the door.

  “Finally moving out, huh?” he said. His cut dangled off his big barrel chest and he wore a smile that hid any true intentions.

  “This’ll be the second time,” I said. “If you recall.”

  He swatted the point aside. “I always knew that was just a long trip. Everyone’s gotta come back home sometime.”

  “Homes don’t stay the same though.”

  “No,” Lorne said. “No they do not.”

  We eyed each other, each wondering what the other was referring to. It was hard to think of this as saying goodbye to my father. He’d always been club president first, even in my eyes. Strange thing, considering how much pride he took in having his son ride with him.

  Lorne helped us vacuum up whatever other pieces were in my room and load them in Baxter’s truck.

  As Baxter fastened everything, Lorne and I did a final sweep. As we walked up the driveway, Lorne fastened himself on my shoulder. It shocked me so much that I nearly tore out of the grip, but it was tight.

  “I’m glad you’re doing this. It’s good to have you back in town, but you’re not a little boy anymore.”

  “Was I ever anything but one of the Liberated?” I asked.

  “No, no I guess not.” Lorne chuckled. “You were around for all the rough years and left before things turned our way.”


  I had nothing to say to that. Speaking now would be hypocrisy anyway. The drug money was banking this move.

  “Just, uh, try to schedule visits from your officer earlier in the mornings,” he said. “The boys in the club will be less likely to see then.”

  I didn’t fully manage to contain my surprise. “You know?”

  Lorne’s response came in the form of a raised eyebrow and clenched mouth, as if to say, ‘Really?’ The man should not be underestimated. Of course he would have run background on me.

  “I didn’t just come back because of my parole,” I said.

  “I know, son. Don’t worry, it’s no black mark to get caught. Just make sure you give me fair warning, so you don’t get compromised.”

  “Yeah.” I was sure the local sheriffs would be giving him way more notice than I ever got.

  He clapped me heavy on the back and left me to it. I watched him shuffle down the hall as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he’d even learned about my prison connections and knew they wouldn’t amount to anything. Well, still no reason not to try.

  On my way out, I paused at the edge of Christina’s room. It was about as bare as mine: no posters, no paintings, no color. She might be living here, but she wasn’t making roots.

  Maybe cutting me off now would be a mercy. I took one last glance, then left the house for good.

  Baxter and I unloaded at my place, grabbed a bite at the diner and split for the day. I bought a few necessities at the grocery. I should be throwing a housewarming party or something, trying to get closer to the guys. My mood was more in line with drinking alone in front of the TV though.

  As my bike rumbled down the street to my new address, I made out a figure standing by door. The setting sun had turned the town red, so I could make out only a silhouette.

  It took the form of a woman.

  I held my breath until I kicked to a stop by the front steps. Until I could finally see her face.

  Christina wore her usual simple get-up: tight dark jeans, and a loose t-shirt. This one was a blue that looked darker in the fading light, making her pale body look almost ghostly. She looked worried, and that made me hustle off the bike. She waited, swaying on the porch.