The Road to You

by Melissa Toppen

  “You wanna explore and find out?” His eyes get dark and before I can react he’s shifted next to me and somehow managed to slide me on top of him.

  “What do I get if I find something?” I play along, loving the heat that floods his gaze.

  “Whatever you want, babe.” He groans when I lean forward and press my lips to the base of his throat.

  “Whatever I want?” I speak against his warm flesh, loving the way his throat bobs when he takes a hard swallow. “I think I like this game.” I nip at his collarbone; pretty certain he’s going to like it too.

  ****

  Four Years Earlier

  “Are you having fun, bean?” Kam asks, his voice low in my ear as he moves me gently across the makeshift dance floor his parents set up in the backyard for his graduation party.

  “I am,” I admit, pulling back to smile up at him.

  “Even though my parents hired quite possibly the worst band in existence?” He chuckles, gesturing to the side where a four person band plays from the large stone patio a few yards away.

  “They aren’t that bad.” I crinkle my nose at him.

  “You only think that because half the music they’ve played is eighties shit.”

  “There is nothing wrong with the eighties,” I object.

  “Everything was wrong with the eighties,” he disagrees, his gaze going over my head to something behind us.

  “Everything okay?” I ask, noticing the shadow that crosses over his face.

  “Yeah.” He shakes it off, refocusing on me. “Marie is hanging all over my brother… Again. You’d think she’d get the hint already.”

  “The hint?” I say, not familiar with the situation.

  All I know is there is no way I am turning around to see what he’s talking about. No way, no how. I’ve met the dark eyes of Kane Thaler one too many times over the course of this evening. And if I’m being honest, I’m not sure I like that every time I look at him his gaze is locked on me. I don’t know if he’s sizing me up, trying to figure me out for his brother’s sake, or if it’s something more. And while I can’t explain it, I can’t deny that my gut instinct is that it’s something more. I just don’t know what.

  “Marie has been chasing Kane around since we moved here. They’ve never been any more than friends and he’s tried letting her down easy several times. But last year, they got drunk at a party and Kane ended up sleeping with her.”

  “Oh lord,” I mutter, already knowing where this is going.

  “Yeah.” He gives me a knowing look. “Needless to say she woke up the next day convinced they were going to be together.”

  “Let me guess. It didn’t work out as she had hoped.”

  “Not even a little,” he confirms. “And what’s worse, he left town shortly after and avoided taking her calls, so she kept showing up here asking if we had heard from him. I felt really bad for her but at the same time I wanted to shake her and tell her to wake the hell up. Kane is Kane. She knows him, knows how he is. I don’t know why she expected anything more from him than exactly what he did.”

  “Kamden Joseph, are you telling me your brother is a player?” I cock a brow, having never heard him talk about Kane’s love life, or lack thereof, before.

  “I wouldn’t say he’s necessarily a player. I think he means well. But then again, the line of broken hearts he’s left behind him might say otherwise. I can’t even count on two hands how many girls showed up here either crying or raging pissed while Kane was in high school.” He chuckles, shaking his head.

  “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me,” I admit, dragging my teeth along my lower lip.

  “No?” He cocks his head and smirks.

  “He kind of seems like a player,” I admit. “And I’ve only been around him a couple of hours. There’s just something about him. Something that reads ‘untouchable’.”

  “And that’s the appeal,” Kam confirms. “Girls chase after guys like Kane. The ones who seem unobtainable. It’s like some messed up game.” He shakes his head. “Confuses the hell out of me.”

  “Of course it does.” A small laugh passes through my lips.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” He hits me with a serious expression but his hazel eyes are full of humor.

  “You’re incapable of playing games, Kam. You are one of those ‘what you see is what you get’ kind of guys. And I adore that about you,” I quickly tack on. “No bullshit. No lies. You’re just you.”

  “I think you’re giving me too much credit, bean.”

  “I think you’re not giving yourself enough,” I shoot back.

  “Always sees the good.” Kam smiles, shaking his head before pulling me back flush to his body as the song shifts from a slow song to one a little more upbeat, but still with a slow enough tempo that our current position on the dance floor doesn’t seem completely out of place.

  I rest my cheek against Kam’s chest, smiling when Kris and Mary go whirling by; Kris spinning his wife around the dance floor like they’ve done it a million times before. Then again they probably have, considering the Thaler’s have been married for nearly twenty-five years.

  That and I know for a fact Mary has been dragging Kris to a late night Salsa class every Thursday for the last eight months. Kam says his dad complains about it every chance he gets but because it’s important to Mary, he keeps going.

  My gaze falls to the other people around us as Kam glides us along the dance floor. Hailee, Kam’s cousin, and her boyfriend Jimmy. Drake and Carrie, two of Kam’s close friends from school. Some other classmates whom I’ve met but can’t for the life of me remember their names.

  And then suddenly I’m looking into the same set of dark eyes I’ve found myself looking into several times over the course of the night. A shiver runs through my body as Kane holds my gaze, his expression unreadable.

  God, what is it about this man that has had my stomach in knots a good portion of the night? I try to ignore the way his eyes on me makes me feel and turn my head, resting my other cheek on Kam’s chest just as his arms tighten around me.

  “I’m really glad you were able to make it tonight, El,” Kam speaks into my hair.

  “Like I’d miss it.” I pull back to smile up at him.

  “I just… You’ve been through a lot this year. I know this isn’t easy for you.” I know instantly he’s talking about my mom.

  “Don’t.” I shake my head, tears instantly pricking the back of my eyes. “I can’t talk about it here, Kam.”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He brushes the pad of his thumb over my cheekbone.

  “It’s fine.” I force a smile. “Really,” I reassure him. “I just don’t want to ruin this night for you.”

  “You could never ruin this night.” He smiles softly.

  “Melting into a puddle of tears in the middle of the dance floor might serve to prove you wrong,” I say as a joke, but deep down I know that it wouldn’t take much to send me there.

  “Refer to my earlier statement.” His thumb moves from my cheek down my jaw, and in that moment it takes everything in me not to push up on my toes and kiss him.

  I can’t of course. Because no matter what Kam says, that would most definitely ruin the evening, and perhaps even our friendship.

  I blink, quickly dropping my face back to Kam’s chest. My gaze once again collides with Kane’s, who’s dancing with Marie, a petite dark haired girl with big brown eyes and full lips. She’s really quite pretty and I can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t see that in her. Or at least not enough to give her anything more than a drunk induced one night stand.

  I instantly feel sad for her. Kane is beautiful. Well, in the manly sense of the word. Every inch of him is carved perfection; from his dark hair to his even darker eyes, to the incredible curve of his jaw which is currently clenched so tight I wouldn’t be surprised if his face hurt.

  My eyebrow shoots up in question, letting him know I see him and I’m more than a little confused by
why he’s glaring at me like I’ve rubbed him the wrong way when in reality we’ve barely spoken.

  He turns for a moment before once again facing me. His expression is slightly softer but his eyes are no less intense. His gaze jumps to the side of Kam’s face and then back to me before he abruptly steps away from Marie and quickly exits the dance floor.

  I watch him walk away before my eyes dart to Marie who seems even more confused than I do. Poor girl.

  Shaking my head, I refocus on Kam–the reason I’m here–and do my best to shove his sexy as sin but jerk brother out of my head. I’ve already got enough on my plate right now. I don’t need to waste my time obsessing over someone I likely won’t see again for another three years–considering that’s how long Kam and I have been friends and this is the first time I’ve ever met him.

  ****

  I wish I could say that was the last I thought of Kam’s brother. I wish I could say I forgot him the moment he walked away, but that isn’t true. The expression he wore when he looked at me across that dance floor had been burned into my retinas and I couldn’t shake the feeling that left me with.

  It took several days before the effects of that night finally faded away. But even as they did, even after Kane returned to Chicago and things returned to normal, I would still wake in the middle of the night seeing those eyes.

  A part of me thought maybe it was just his obvious good looks. You’d have to be blind not to be effected by a man that looks like Kane Thaler. The same could be said for Kam as well. But somewhere deep down I knew there was more.

  I guess you could say I was drawn to Kane from that very first night. A pull I didn’t understand stayed with me for years to come. It lived in the background, simmering just out of sight and it wasn’t until I was staring into those dark eyes again years later that it all came back like a gust of wind, sucking the air straight from my lungs.

  Only I wasn’t the same girl. When our eyes met over Kam’s casket I knew none of it mattered anymore. I was heartbroken–devastated–not sure how I was going to go on living knowing I’d never see Kam smile again. Never get to count the blue and green speckles in his eyes or hear him call me butter bean. Knowing his sweet laughter would never fill my ears again, I felt nothing but an empty void where my heart used to be.

  Until suddenly it started beating again…

  I open my heavy eyes to find Kane’s gaze locked on mine, his face hovering just inches above me.

  “You were dreaming.” he murmurs, brushing his lips lightly against mine. “What were you dreaming about?” he asks, rolling me to my side so my face goes to his chest.

  “You,” I admit, hanging on the cusp of sleep, not entirely sure if I’m actually awake or still dreaming. “It’s with you now,” I mutter as I slip back under.

  “What is?” I hear him in the distance.

  “My heart.”

  “Tell me something about you I don’t know.” I trail my fingers gently along Kane’s bare chest as I lay next to him in bed, tucked into the crook of his arm.

  “Like what?” he asks, his fingers playing with the ends of my hair.

  “Like anything. Just something I don’t know.”

  “That’s pretty vague, babe.” He chuckles, the rumble under my cheek a welcome one. “I hate the color red. There, how’s that?”

  “Okay not really what I had in mind, but wait,” I pause, just now processing what he said. “What do you mean you hate the color red?”

  “Just what I said, I hate the color red,” he repeats, voice thick with humor.

  “Like it’s your least favorite color or the sight of it actually bothers you?”

  “Both.” He slides his hand down my bare arm causing goose bumps to erupt across my skin.

  “Hmm.” I think on this for a moment.

  “You’re mentally running through your wardrobe right now, aren’t you?” His laugh deepens and for the tiniest moment my mind tricks me into believing it’s Kam lying next to me. Not because I want Kane to be Kam but because what he said was something Kam would have said.

  “You know me too well already.” I push my previous thought away.

  “Well, how deeply impacted is your closet by this news?” God I love when he talks and I can hear the smile in his voice.

  “That I can think of, not at all. I mean, I’m sure I have something red somewhere but it’s not a great color on me.”

  “I can’t imagine a color that doesn’t look good on you.”

  “Perhaps I should slip into something red and put that to the test.” I prop my head up, resting my chin on the back of my hand atop his chest so I can look at him.

  “Do you have anything red here?” He cocks a brow down at me.

  “No, but that doesn’t mean I can’t buy something,” I counter.

  “You would.” He grins.

  “Tell me something else.”

  “What else do you want to know?”

  “Everything.”

  “Everything.” He chuckles. “How about we go with one thing at a time?”

  “Fine.” I huff, pushing up into a sitting position before turning my body so that I’m facing him, twisting my legs Indian style in front of me.

  I let my eyes soak in the sight of him; propped up on a stack of pillows, one arm draped behind his head, hair a mess, eyes sated, his incredible chest and stomach on full display. My god, he really is way too good looking for his own good.

  “You were saying?” he prompts when my eyes still haven’t left his torso.

  I blink, my gaze going to his face to see he’s wearing a cocky smirk. Yep, he definitely knows where my mind was right then.

  “Favorite band?” I shoot off the first thing that comes to mind.

  “Backstreet Boys.”

  “Favorite mov… Wait? What did you just say?” My eyes widen in surprise.

  “Backstreet Boys,” he says like he couldn’t be more serious.

  “You’re kidding,” I say disbelieving.

  “Of course I am.” He finally cracks, laughing at the shocked look on my face. “Babe, Backstreet Boys, really? Do I look like the kind of man that dances around singing ‘Bye, Bye, Bye’?” He impersonates the hand gestures.

  “That’s not the Backstreet Boys.” I fight to control my laughter.

  “My point exactly.” His easy smile does something wonky to my insides and I find myself struggling to keep hold of the conversation at hand when all I really want to do is climb up his body and have a repeat of last night, this morning, and this afternoon.

  “So who is your favorite band then?”

  “If I had to pick just one I think I’d go with Manchester Orchestra.”

  “I approve.” I nod, causing his smile to spread.

  “I didn’t realize I was being judged on my answers.” He narrows his gaze at me, his expression humored.

  “Just keeping a running tally.” I shrug, seconds before his incredible laugh moves through the room. With a wide smile on my face, I continue, “Favorite food?”

  “That’s hard.” He thinks on it for a moment. “I’m going to go with pasta. Pasta of any kind.”

  “So what you’re saying is you’re a carb whore.”

  “A what?”

  “A carb whore,” I say like that’s a term regularly used in the real world.

  “I eat pasta a lot. If that makes me a carb whore then fuck it, I’ll own that title.” His grin stretches across his face, the action giving his eyes almost a sparkle.

  My heart thuds in my chest.

  “How do you eat a lot of pasta and still look like that?” I point to his abs.

  “It’s called the gym, babe.”

  “Shut up.” I lay a light smack to his hard stomach. “I know you work out… Obviously,” I say after a thick swallow. “But even if I spent ten hours a day at the gym I don’t think I could eat pasta regularly and maintain any sort of decent figure.”

  “Guess I’m lucky.” He winks.

  “Men,” I groan.


  “Are you done asking me questions now?”

  “You’re not that lucky.”

  “Well then please, Miss Menton, continue,” he says like I’m some client in a board room rather than the woman in his bed.

  “Hmm. Let me think.” I tap my chin like I’m thinking really hard, causing Kane to chuckle. “How old were you when you had your first kiss?”

  “Twelve,” he says with no hesitation.

  “Twelve?” I gawk at him.

  “Kate Malbourne. Behind the shed at her parents’ house,” he says matter of fact.

  “Twelve?” I repeat.

  “How old were you?” he asks, turning the question on me.

  “Not twelve,” I clip. “I don’t know, I guess I was fifteen or sixteen.”

  “You don’t remember how old you were?” He seems to find this humorous.

  “It wasn’t the greatest experience of my life. It was quite mortifying actually. I try not to think about it,” I ramble.

  “Was it that bad?”

  “Worse.” I sigh. “He bit my tongue.”

  “He what?” He slides up into a sitting position, not even trying to hide how funny he finds this bit of information.

  “He bit my tongue,” I repeat.

  “Babe, when you say he bit it…”

  “I mean, when I stuck my tongue in his mouth he bit down…hard.”

  “Oh my god.” Kane holds his stomach, laughter roaring through him.

  “Screw you, jerk.” I shove at him. “I don’t think he meant to do it. I think he was a little over excited and clamped his teeth down when I stuck my tongue in his mouth. Anyway, it was his first kiss too so I guess I shouldn’t have expected much.”

  “I’m surprised you didn’t swear off kissing right then and there.”

  “I would have if it weren’t for my friends promising me that what happened to me never happened to anyone else. Eventually I figured it had to get better than that.”

  “And did it?” He rests his back against the headboard, eyeing me knowingly.

  “You already know the answer to that one,” I tell him before quickly redirecting the conversation back to him.