When she joined us, I saw Rachel had taken the piece with the cherry scooped off of it. I raised an eyebrow at her, and she shrugged like it was nothing. I burrowed under my whipped cream and got a spoonful of cherry topping. I got up and put it on top of her piece.
“I haven’t used the spoon yet. It’s clean,” I said.
“I wasn’t worried. But you don’t have to share.”
“You’re a guest. I can’t have you eating cherry-less cheesecake because Sadie Cakes was greedy.”
“I am not greedy!” she said with a mouthful of cheesecake, which was pretty damn hilarious, but I just shut my eyes and didn’t laugh. Rachel cleared her throat, obviously trying not to giggle at Sadie’s antics.
“Thank you,” Rachel said, taking a bite.
“This is wonderful,” I said.
“Thanks. The next one, Sadie will make. It’s a no-bake, you just chill it. She’s going to blow you away with her mad kitchen skills this summer.”
“I wanna make cakes!”
“I’m a pie girl, Sadie. You’ll have to start me off slow.”
“That’s okay,” Sadie said. “If we make good pies. I don’t like raisins.”
“Not even in cookies? My grandma made oatmeal raisin cookies that were so good, I’d clean her whole living room just to get one!” Rachel said.
“Really?”
“Really,” Rachel said seriously. “And I have the secret family recipe. I’ll make them with you when I start watching you.”
“For real? Can we take some to my teacher and my class except for Cruz, he’s allergic to wheat?”
“The thing is, these are the kind of cookies you could take to your dad’s crew to give them a break with some lemonade. Kind of a way to help out.”
“You’ll need to ask me for a good time to do that. I don’t let Sadie visit areas where there’s active logging,” I put in, hating how I sounded like a killjoy.
“You’ll give me your number and I’ll message you. Is twenty-four hours’ notice enough? If you pick the time we show up?” she asked.
“That should be enough, but don’t get Sadie excited until I give you the go-ahead to bring stuff to the site,” I said.
“Right,” she said, visibly deflated from my outright ruining the scheme of doing a good deed with my daughter.
“I’m already excited,” Sadie said, “and you always say you always have time for me. Right?” Sadie asked.
“I do always have time for you, but you know that there are things I work on that aren’t safe for you to be near. Sometimes you have to wait.”
“Not for like two hundred hours! I wanna take you cookies and get a hug. Why is that a big deal?” she said.
Truth was, I had an idea why I was making a big deal of it. The sexual tension with Rachel was like warm, honeyed air pressing on me in the room, making me want to open a window to get a breath. So I was trying to put her in her place like a jerk. If Denise had ever suggested bringing Sadie out to see me, I would’ve said give me five minutes’ notice and I’d meet her at the road. I wouldn’t have pulled that crap about giving me notice and not telling my daughter till it was settled. I was pulling rank and I had the sense to feel annoyed at myself.
“My number one job is keeping you safe, baby girl. And sometimes that means telling you no.”
“Like Snapchat,” she said.
“Yes,” I said with a sigh, wishing she’d let that go already. “Bath time, you cherry cheesecake mess.” She made a show of licking her lips to get the mess off her face, but the cheesecake smear was on her forehead.
I got up to start her water, and Rachel took dishes to the sink.
“I’ll do those,” I said, “after you leave. I’d appreciate if you’d hang around until she’s in bed so we can finalize terms of your employment.”
“So did I pass the audition?” she asked wryly.
“I thought I was the one who successfully had the right whipped cream,” I said.
“You don’t want the wrong whipped cream. Trust me. The oil-based kind, ugh,” she shook her head. “Plus, it’ll stain the sheets.” She grinned, then flushed pink, “Shit. I’m so sorry. I forgot who I was talking to. Won’t happen again, ugh. And I won’t say shit around Sadie either. Just—” she broke off.
Her flustered moment that let me peek beneath that confidence. It was adorable. Almost cute enough to make me ignore the hot rush of blood that set my body aflame at her offhand joke. I clenched my fists. This was getting out of hand.
“You can have a seat in the living room while I get Sadie ready for bed,” I said coolly.
I gave Sadie the quickest bath in the world, read her one story and kissed her good night. I crossed my fingers that she’d stay in bed and not demand more stories and songs like she was used to having. When I went to the living room, Rachel wasn’t there. I glanced at the door and saw her shoes were still there, so she hadn’t left. I heard the faucet in the kitchen and went in to see what she was doing. She’d done the dishes and cleared off the counters and wiped them down.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I said.
“I know, you have people to do that,” she said wryly. “But I thought I could help out instead of sitting around. So, am I fired for the inappropriate comment earlier?”
“No. Consider yourself on probation.”
“What does that mean exactly?” she asked.
“It means that I think this will work out fine, as long as you—”
“Watch my mouth?”
“I wouldn’t put it that way. Weigh your words carefully.”
“Got it,” she said.
I offered her a beer and she shook her head, “I’m on my best behavior, remember?” she said, and I got the idea she was teasing me. There was amusement in her eyes, and she didn’t sound snarky about it.
I sat on the couch and she sat, thankfully, at the opposite end of it.
“I apologize if I made you uncomfortable,” I said wearily.
“You did. But you’re interviewing me for a job, so that goes with the territory, I guess.”
“I won’t be—underfoot—while you’re working. The fact is, if I could be at home during those hours I wouldn’t need a nanny for her. I’ll leave any special instructions for the day on the dry erase board by the fridge. If you want anything added to the grocery list for the week, leave a note. If there’s a problem, you can text me. Otherwise, I don’t expect to have to—”
“Deal with me? I get it,” she said with a half-smile. “I get the impression you don’t like me. Which is fine, I guess. As long as you trust me to take care of Sadie.”
“It isn’t that I don’t like you. I don’t feel one way or the other in that respect, which is appropriate. You’ll be an employee, temporarily.”
“Denise is like family, I understand. I’m not trying to replace her. I’m going to spend time with Sadie and make sure she has a great summer. And I’ll stay out of your way. Do you want pictures and videos and stuff sent to you or not? Because she’s a cute kid, and I’m gonna take pics.”
“You can’t post them on social media,” I said quickly.
“I won’t. I wouldn’t have without permission anyway, but that was quick.”
“I’m overprotective. I admit it.”
“That’s fine. It’s your kid, your decision.”
“I’d rather be safe than sorry.”
“I get it.”
“I do want pictures of her, videos especially from her swim lessons so I can see how she’s doing. I love getting pictures of her.”
“Good. And I won’t bother you with a bunch. Just a few.”
“No, it’s fine. I’d like to get them.”
“So you won’t get mad if I blow up your phone with a dozen pics of her jumping in the pool?”
“No, I won’t get mad. I’m not actually—harsh, ordinarily.”
“So, I bring out the best in you?” she asked archly. I tried to smile but I was uncomfortable.
“Maybe I�
��m just out of my element with the situation. I haven’t had to look for childcare in years, and I was comfortable with the arrangement we had with Denise. Now I have to train you and get used to the way you do things.”
“No, Sadie has to. You go to work and I stay out of your way, right?” she said, challenging a little.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I won’t interfere with your plans with Sadie. I do want her to have a great summer, and she has fun with you. I appreciate your attitude with her, encouraging her to help, guiding her. That’s important to me, and you did well with her.”
“I knew this was an audition,” she grinned, “and except for the whipped cream thing—”
“Which we will never mention again,” I said.
“Right. Except for that, I think I did well.”
“You did. So let me give you an idea of how the routine goes with Sadie. She gets up around seven. You have to remind her to go to the bathroom or she’ll wait too long. Then she has breakfast, gets dressed, and you can play or read or go outside, cook something, whatever. On Tuesdays and Thursdays she’ll have swim at ten in town. I have a booster seat you can put in your car. She gave up napping about a year ago, but sometimes if she’s overtired and cranky you can sneak one in on her if you let her watch part of Beauty and the Beast.”
“Okay. What about eating between meals? Do you have preferred foods or scheduled mealtimes?”
“Three meals a day, snacks if she’s hungry, but limit her to one pouch of fruit snacks a day. She’d eat a ton of those if you let her. I try to get her to drink milk once a day, that kind of thing. She only eats cereal dry. She’ll eat chicken and some fish. She’ll pick at meatloaf unless the onion is invisible.” I shook my head. “I’m raising a picky eater.”
“Sounds like an average kid to me. I would’ve starved without jarred spaghetti sauce. I used to eat it on bread with butter.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“Of course it is. Now spill. What was your gross kid food?”
“I didn’t eat kid food. I got in trouble once for picking the egg off a Cobb Salad though. Does that count?”
“No. That’s weird. Did you wear a bow tie all the time or something?”
“Not literally, but pretty much.”
“That doesn’t sound like any fun. Sadie has a much better childhood than that.”
“Thank you, it’s my main goal, for her to have the kind of fun, free childhood I didn’t.”
“I think you’re winning at life. She’s a terrific kid, and she isn’t afraid to speak her mind around you, which says a lot. She trusts you and feels comfortable being herself because she knows you love and accept her. That’s a great thing. I love my parents. They’re good people who did their best, but I would’ve been smacked in the mouth growing up if I’d questioned my parents. Don’t get me wrong, Sadie isn’t disrespectful at all. She’s very natural and sweet and precocious. I’m just saying, I’m glad you’re raising her the way you are. She deserves to get to be herself.”
“You got smacked in the mouth?”
“It’s shocking I still have lips, yeah. And it didn’t even stop me from having a smart mouth. So they went to all that trouble for nothing.”
“I don’t mean to criticize your parents, it’s not my place. But they shouldn’t have smacked you for asking questions.”
“I’m sure they meant well. What did they do to you? Take away your calculator and make you wear itchy knee socks?”
“I had to double my practice time if I was uncooperative.”
“Basketball?”
“Piano.”
“Oh,” she said, “did you like playing piano?”
“No, I hated it. But my mother had a relative who was a famous composer and thought I might show promise at music. I didn’t. I just spent seven years taking lessons and practicing for hours.”
“Just to be told you weren’t any good? That’s harsh.”
“It was—a massive waste of time. I didn’t enjoy it, and I only had the skill that comes from rote memorization.”
“Sounds like fun,” she said sarcastically. “I think I’d rather be smacked in the mouth than spend years on a piano stool.”
“Sadie won’t experience either. Unless she shows an interest in music.”
“Is your family involved in her life at all? I’m not trying to overstep.”
“They’re not. Neither is her birth mother. We don’t speak of it, but the woman who gave birth to my daughter was—not someone I was in a serious relationship with. She found the demands of parenting to be too much and left her with me. She has not been a presence in Sadie’s life, and her parental rights were signed over long ago.”
“That puts a lot of pressure on you. Doing it all alone. Most people have grandparents or aunts and uncles to fall back on in a pinch. It must be—nerve-wracking and lonely.”
“Not at all,” I said too quickly. “I like the way things are. If you’d told me ten years ago I could have this kind of life, I’d never have believed it. But having Sadie gave me the motivation I needed to make a major change and choose some things for myself.”
“That’s amazing. I’m gonna overstep all over the place right now so brace yourself, Max. Knowing a little of how you grew up, and what a departure this must be for you, living in a cabin in the woods and cutting down trees, building your whole life around raising your daughter on your own—it’s pretty damn impressive that you’re doing this. It was really brave.”
Rachel smiled in a way that softened her face, that stunned me. I felt like she saw me, like she understood even a fraction of what I’d given up, the changes I’d made. The curves of her pretty face were transformed into something serene and beautiful that seemed totally out of place in my living room, like she belonged in a painting on a museum wall, with that gentle, wise smile on her lips.
I wanted to kiss her more than I’ve ever wanted to kiss anyone in my life. More than when I was club-hopping at twenty-two and picking up runway models. More than anyone, ever. I caught my breath because I could almost feel it, the brush of my lips over the sweet curve of her mouth, her gasp of surprise that would let my tongue slide in her mouth. Then it would be anything but sweet—a hot, wet, passionate kiss we wouldn’t come up from for hours. I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, aware of how hard I was. I swallowed and didn’t know what to say to her.
“I made it weird, I know,” she sighed self-deprecatingly. “But it had to be said. You did a really good thing, and Sadie’s wonderful. I’m really looking forward to spending time with her.”
“She’s looking forward to it, too. And you didn’t overstep. I was the one who shared too much about my upbringing and about Sadie’s origins. It wasn’t necessary, and I apologize. I won’t make any more personal confessions going forward.”
“Is it just me or has tonight been a lot of promising never to do things again?” she said with a smile. I felt relieved by her reaction, and I nodded.
“We’re learning our way. It’s new,” I acknowledged. New and way too easy, I thought ruefully. Talking to her came so naturally, and I had overshared without meaning to. She had responded, warmed to me, and it just went to show how susceptible I was to her particular attractions that my whole body had canted toward her and turned hot and hard. I wanted to press her down into the cushions, feel every curve of her body pressed to mine, the rise and fall of her breath and her hands in my hair. It was a wild impulse, and I clenched my fists waiting for it to pass.
“Don’t—bring any friends over,” I said.
“I hadn’t planned on throwing a party at your cabin,” she said with a chuckle.
“I mean—a boyfriend. No men.”
“Wow, really? I’m not going to bring a guy over. That’s insulting,” she said, a small frown appearing on her face.
“I wasn’t trying to insult you. I don’t bring anyone around Sadie, don’t have women in and out of the cabin or anything. She’s not exposed to any casual relationships and I
want to maintain that standard.”
Rachel nodded. “Got it.”
“Look, I’m not trying to imply anything. Although I realize I kind of did, and I’m sorry. As I said, I’m overprotective to a fault. I’m also a single dad so I’m used to calling all the shots when it comes to Sadie. I’m not exactly gracious about it, I guess, and I can do better.”
“Listen, I completely understand what you’re getting at. She’s your number one priority.”
“I just want the expectations between us—not between us—on the job, to be clear so there’s no confusion.”
“No offense, Max. But I’m going to take care of a six-year-old. It’s not rocket science. I take it seriously, and I’ll make sure she’s safe as well as entertained, but you have got to loosen up about this. You look like you’re facing a firing squad.”
“I trust you. I wouldn’t have offered you the job if I didn’t. Like I said, I’m—”
“A total control freak? I got that. Hopefully it’s a perfectionist thing you’ll get over. I know you’re a good dad, and you just want to make sure Sadie is in good hands. She is. You can relax, if that’s a thing you do.”
“What does that mean?”
“In your spare time you make furniture? You work and you’re a single parent. There is no spare time. I know what it’s like trying to fill every minute. It’s probably weird to hear a waitress say she’s a workaholic. That’s the kind of thing they say about, I don’t know, lawyers. People with really important jobs.”
“You’re the manager. And baker and waitress and now a nanny,” I said. “And soon an owner.”
“Hopefully, yes.”
“You have more ambition than anyone I’ve met in years, Rachel,” I said.
“Thanks. I’m not sure that’s a good thing sometimes. I’m always working for the next thing. I don’t always take time to enjoy what I’ve got now.”
“Sadie’s good for that. She’ll keep you in the moment. I don’t think I was ever really present until I had her. When I’m with her, I don’t want to be anywhere else, and I’m not thinking of what else I could be doing or a better way to spend my time. Being a dad shuts that down. I bet spending time with her will stop your brain from spinning for a little while.”
The Lumberjack's Nanny: A Forbidden Romance (Rockford Falls Romance) Page 8
