The Lumberjack's Nanny: A Forbidden Romance (Rockford Falls Romance)

by Natasha L. Black

  22

  Max

  The only thing about the next couple of weeks that wasn’t completely wonderful was the fact that we were both still so busy that we didn’t get to spend as much time together as we would’ve liked. What we managed were the nights she stayed for supper, the Friday pizza nights and grilling out on Sundays after going to the park together. We snuggled up on the couch and watched Disney movies with Sadie and debated whether the cartoon Lion King was better than the live-action one. Rachel was all for the live-action version because of Beyoncé. I grew up with the animated movie and had a soft spot for it. Sadie thought they were both boring and went to sleep after Hakuna Matata.

  Rachel’s schedule at the diner made it difficult to get any time alone together. I didn’t want to ask her to stay late. I knew she didn’t get enough sleep and had early mornings on the weekends. And we weren’t doing sleepovers at this point, having not told Sadie that we were a couple yet. She was catching on though, because she had seen us hold hands, had seen me sit with my arm around Rachel on while we watched TV. She was happy sitting on our laps, snuggling between the two of us when we sat on the couch or sitting between Rachel’s feet while she got her hair braided after her bath.

  The truth was, I wanted to give Rachel the money for the diner. I wanted that burden off of her, so she could work when she wanted to and have flexibility with her hours instead of hustling to try to save enough money. I could afford it easily, but I knew she’d never take money from me. On a Sunday afternoon when she was finishing up her shift at the diner, I popped popcorn so Sadie and I could watch Frozen 2 again. It was a current favorite, and I’d promised to watch the whole thing with her this weekend. When we were just two songs into the movie, I heard a knock at the door and paused it.

  “Looks like Rach got off work early,” I said cheerfully. I was glad she’d made it in time to watch the movie with us. It was a rainy, lazy Sunday, and I wanted her here with us, warm and dry and cozy.

  Sadie hopped off the couch. “I’ll get it,” she sang out. I smiled after her as she bounded to the door. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

  “You want something to drink?” I called out to Rachel.

  “Uh, Daddy?” Sadie said, her voice small and uncertain.

  Immediately, I stepped out of the kitchen to see what was wrong.

  Stunned, I stood stock still for a second. Not Rachel, but Jenna was waiting in the doorway.

  “Well, can I come in, Max?” she asked.

  “Go turn the movie back on, sweetie,” I said to Sadie, more firmly than I usually spoke to her. She nodded, looked from Jenna to me and back again, and obeyed without a word. I heard the movie come on and I pointed to the door.

  “On the porch. Now,” I said, my voice low.

  I never understood the expression ‘seeing red’ until that moment. My vision was blotchy, everything tinted like I was viewing it through infrared goggles or something. I saw Jenna, the same sleek, willowy frame, the curtain of glossy highlighted light brown hair. I ushered her out the door and told Sadie I’d be right outside and be right back.

  Once we were alone on the porch, I crossed my arms.

  “Well?”

  “That’s the greeting I get after nearly six years?” she said, choosing to act insulted.

  “What the hell are you doing here? You signed away your rights to my child. I made it very clear that you are not to seek her out, or in any way interfere with our lives. When she’s eighteen, if she wants to meet you, she will. Until then, get the hell off my porch and don’t come back.”

  “Mr. Tough Guy now? You gave up the designer suits and grew this hipster beard and now you’re some sort of hillbilly hard ass?” she sniffed. “I miss my kid. I gave her up when I was overwhelmed, I was young, I didn’t know what to do.”

  “You were twenty-six,” I pointed out.

  “I was immature, okay? I regret giving her up. We could’ve co-parented and I would’ve been able to watch her grow and be in her life. She looks just like me. Don’t you think she looks like me?” Jenna said.

  Of course, she looked like Jenna. Her expressions, her long skinny legs, the way she held herself. A hundred things about Jenna reminded me of Sadie, not the other way around. I had only been with Jenna a couple of weeks at most. I didn’t know her well at the time and didn’t desire to know her better. So everything about her reminded me of my kid. Mine, not hers. Not anymore.

  “You didn’t want her. You don’t get to take back abandonment. Your regrets are your problem, whether they are sincere or not. My daughter is a person, and she doesn’t exist to fulfill your need for attention or whatever it is you think you want right now. You’re not going to disrupt her life. This was agreed upon, and it’s in writing. If you lost your copy, I’ll have my attorneys send one to you if you provide them with your email address.”

  “That’s it? That’s all? I came back for my daughter. You’re not going to let me meet her, tell her that I’m her mother? This is so like you. Selfish, never thinking about my feelings. I gave up my child.”

  “Yes, you did,” I said evenly. “And what’s done is done. We’re finished here. I might point out that you’re trespassing on private property.”

  “Max, please—” she reached out to touch my arm and I wanted to back away. Instead, I stepped forward and loomed over her a little.

  “Don’t touch me. Go.”

  “Just tell me about our little girl. Please. Let me see pictures and know how she is at least. Can’t you do that?”

  “Tell me where you’re staying. I’ll call and set up a time when we can meet somewhere. The two of us.”

  “I’m at the White Birch B&B in Overton,” she said.

  “Fine. I’ll leave a message at the desk.”

  “Thank you, Max. I can’t wait to hear about her, to meet her.”

  “Don’t push your luck with me,” I said. “You need to go.”

  She brushed at a tear, whether it was real or imaginary I don’t know. Then she got in her rental car and drove off. I sank down on an Adirondack chair and dropped my head in my hands. This was off the rails. Completely insane. I did not need that woman trying to crowbar her way into Sadie’s life. She needed to leave town and not look back. I wasn’t going to threaten her, and I wasn’t going to pay her off. I wanted her out of my life. I’d have to do a little research after Sadie was in bed, find out where she was living and working, if she’d just had a divorce or something that sent her down memory lane. I needed a strategy to get rid of her.

  I needed to get rid of the sick fear in my stomach from just seeing her. From the fact that she had laid eyes on Sadie. I knew that Jenna couldn’t take her away from me, but if she wanted to push it, she could go to court and get visitation. There was no way in hell I was sending Sadie to that woman every other weekend, losing time with my daughter and changing everything I’d made carefully safe and comfortable in her life. I heard the crunch of tires on gravel and got to my feet, ready to call the cops to run her off if she was back.

  Rachel’s car pulled up and I felt my clenched fists relax, felt the breath I was holding rush out. I was always glad to see her, but I felt like I almost couldn’t deal with her right now. It would be enough of a strain to act normal till Sadie went to sleep. There was no chance I was telling her or anyone about this. It just needed to go away.

  23

  Rachel

  From the minute I arrived at the cabin and found Max sitting out on the porch, I knew something was wrong. He was never outside without Sadie. He didn’t have his phone out, so he hadn’t been on a call. I went to him and hugged him. The hug I got was more like putting my arms around an iron slab, unyielding and hard. I drew back.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m fine. Come on in.”

  I followed him in, and Sadie looked up a little suspiciously from the couch. She didn’t run to me and try to climb me or demand to be picked up and carried. Something was so weird here.

&nb
sp; “Are you feeling okay, Sadie Lady?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” she said, but she looked at her dad and not at me.

  “We’re watching Frozen 2,” Max said. “Care to join us?”

  “I’m sorry, Daddy. I just wanna go play in my room.”

  “Okay, baby. I’ll turn it off.” He switched off the TV. Sadie went into her room. She didn’t bring anything out to show me or tell me a hundred things she’d done since this morning.

  “Sadie’s not acting like herself. What’s wrong?”

  “Maybe she’s just tired,” he shrugged. Total red flag there—him not showing overprotective concern over his daughter. I’d pointed out something was wrong, and he brushed it off. So he knew what was going on and just wasn’t telling me.

  “Max, come on. Something’s up. Did she just get in big trouble or something? You were on the porch, she was in here by herself watching TV, and then just ran off to her room. That isn’t like either of you.”

  “We’re fine. You’re freaking out over nothing. Do you want something to eat?”

  “I just left a diner. I don’t want food. I wanted to spend time with you guys. But she’s hiding and you’re not talking. Talk to me,” I said.

  “There’s nothing going on. Maybe Sadie wants to play outside. We can take her out to the swing set if you want.”

  I went and got Sadie, who was sitting on her bed holding Mooshie. We went out and she swung for a while and seemed more normal. She went down the slide once and then amused herself by throwing Mooshie up the slide and then catching it when it slid down. Max and I sat down and had lemonade, and he told me about the project Noah was working on, the big order he needed to fill. He thawed out a little, but he seemed disconnected from me. When they were talking about supper, I stood up.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t stay. I made plans to grab a drink with Laura, since we haven’t caught up in a while.”

  “Okay, well, have a good time,” he said, not even getting up to walk me out. I kissed Sadie’s head and just sort of waved at him and left.

  At the bar I was halfway down my margarita and done pretending everything was fine. “Do you think he lost feelings for me?”

  “That quick? No way.”

  “He was acting weird and so was Sadie.”

  “Okay, let me be the first to tell you since you don’t seem to know. Men are strange. Get used to it.”

  “Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

  “I’m serious, they’re not gonna sit and analyze our every move. They don’t do that. If he was quiet, it’s because he didn’t want to talk. If Sadie was acting strange, she either didn’t sleep last night or she needs to poop. Trust me. Poop—so many problems go back to that,” she took a drink.

  “I know I’m probably reading too much into it but something was really off.”

  “I always say trust your gut. In this case, since asking about it didn’t make any difference, I guess do the hardest thing which is wait for him to tell you. I mean, personally, if it was Brody, I’d barricade him in the interrogation room with me, shine a 200-watt bulb in his eyes and demand answers. But that’s just me.”

  Laura laughed, and I did too, but I didn’t really feel any better.

  “Example,” she said, “you’re acting weird now, all soft-voiced and emotional. Because you had a bad day. Maybe they had a crappy day, and it affected everybody’s mood. It’s probably nothing to do with you.”

  “So, it’s probably that they’re both constipated, right?” I said wryly.

  “Stranger things have happened. I know if I’m bloated you don’t even wanna try and talk to me.”

  I felt better after that, and she told me about Brenna’s latest adventures in potty training and the long weekend trip she and Brody were planning to take for their anniversary. It had been a wild ride for them, and they deserved a romantic weekend.

  “We’ll probably sleep. It’s the ugly truth. I’m crazy about him. But I’m so tired. She isn’t a good sleeper and never has been. The last time my mom kept her overnight I slept eleven hours, no joke. I got up and ate lunch and did laundry and took a damn nap after that.”

  “Sounds hot,” I teased.

  “I’m happy. I’m just exhausted.”

  “You could be napping right now. Why didn’t you tell me when I asked you out for drinks?”

  “No, I need this more. And besides, this isn’t a one-nap fix. It’s more like a lifestyle, I think at this point,” she grinned. She was beaming, and I knew she was just teasing.

  “Anytime you want me to take that precious girl off you hands overnight, I will.”

  “And bring her back with a bunch of new toys and full of cupcake frosting?”

  “Okay, there was a sale and also she loved my buttercream. Who can blame her?”

  “No one, but she’s like a Gremlin on sugar. I don’t trust you for overnight visits at this point.”

  “I won’t feed her after midnight?” I offered jokingly.

  “Right, whatever I’m getting another drink,” Laura said.

  24

  Max

  I’d been on edge ever since Jenna came to the cabin. I was having security cameras installed there today, ostensibly because I wanted to protect my tools and stuff from theft, because it would get me a break on insurance costs. Really because I wanted footage if Jenna came sniffing around again. I’d have her charged with trespassing if she did.

  At the White Birch, I waited at the registration desk while they called.

  “You can go right up, sir,” the clerk said, directing me to her room number. I decided this would be a better meeting spot because it was not in public where she could make a scene if she wanted to.

  When I knocked, she opened the door, every hair in place, her makeup subtle but perfect. She invited me in and offered to order coffee if I wanted some. I declined.

  “What do you want, Jenna?”

  “I want my baby,” she said, bursting into tears. She didn’t turn away or cover her face, didn’t try to hide her distress. Because it was theatrical. And it was pissing me off.

  “I want the chance to get to know her. I want to hold her and rock her and sing to her,” she sobbed.

  “She’s going into first grade. She’s not lullaby and rocking chair age any longer. You need to get lost,” I said matter-of-factly.

  “You need to have a heart. She’s my child, Max, whether you like it or not. If you’d bothered to get to know me, to try and work it out—”

  “Work what out?” I demanded. “We both knew it was a fling. You sent my calls to voicemail every time. It’s not like you were madly in love and I callously tossed you aside and we both know it.”

  “I couldn’t appear too eager, or you’d lose interest. If I picked up the phone every time you called—”

  “Then we would’ve had four conversations in our relationship instead of just one? Don’t try to make it more meaningful than it was. We didn’t get along, and we didn’t have the same interests. We just hooked up. I took you to breakfast after we slept together the first time, and you played on your phone almost the whole time.”

  “Like I said, I was young and immature, and my head was turned. You were handsome and charming, and I couldn’t resist. And I had your baby, all alone, knowing I meant nothing to you.”

  “Jenna,” I sighed, already tired of dealing with her. “You are not going to disrupt my daughter’s life.”

  She broke into sobs again, and I managed not to roll my eyes. “That isn’t working on me,” I said. “So you might as well just quit it.”

  Jenna turned off the waterworks instantly and wiped her eyes with a tissue, not a drop of mascara out of place.

  “Fine. You don’t have a sensitive side.”

  “I could’ve told you that and saved you the trouble of fake crying,” I told her.

  “Look, you want to know why I’m here? About a year or so after I left the baby with you, I found out who you were by accident. I hadn’t made the connection with your
family name. I thought you dressed nice and had a flashy car because of your job. You had a family fortune and you had been practically printing money as a broker. I’ve been working on tracking you down ever since. Finally, I got a break, and here you are.”

  “You want money,” I said, my voice hard.

  “The way I figure it, surrogates get paid a hefty fee. I carried your child and gave her to you free and clear. That’s worth something. Not just my expenses while I was pregnant, which you never even offered to pay me for, but for my time and the wear and tear on my body. I’m always going to have stretch marks, Max,” she said.

  “The truth comes out. You want, what? Laser treatments for your thighs or something? Look, I don’t care. You signed her over and left. You need to get out of town and leave us alone.”

  “Or what? You make me disappear? Chop me up with your hipster ax?” she challenged. I did roll my eyes at that.

  “No, Jenna. I’m not threatening you. I’m advising you that there is nothing to be gained by continuing to be in town and intrude on my life with my child. You’re not wanted here, and that isn’t going to change. I realize you don’t have an interest in her, and I’m not going to let you see her or upset her.”

  “It’s your turn to listen to me for once, Max. You’ve got money and plenty of it. And if you don’t give me the cash, I will tell everyone in this shitty backwater how you seduced me when I was young and poor and then used your money and power to take away my baby. Then I’ll take you to court. It’ll be messy. The kid will have to be questioned. Is that what you want?” she challenged.

  I felt my jaw clench. “None of this from the moment you knocked on my door has been what I want. Give me a couple days and I’ll get back to you. Be good, stay quiet, stay the hell away from us.”