Sand & Clay

by Sarah Robinson

  “Caroline, are you going to be okay?” Aralia questioned, gently.

  “Oh yeah, guys, don’t worry about me, it’s not a big deal.” Caroline said, waving her hand to gesture that she was okay. She leaned back in her chair and took a deep breath. She was trying to hold it together but a wave of emotion suddenly caught her off guard and she burst into tears. Aralia and Jackie got up off the couch and went over to her, putting their hands on her shoulders hoping to comfort her.

  “It’s his loss. You don’t need him. You can do so much better than him, and he is stuck with that Gina Vile, who is so beneath you. I mean, seriously, who has a name like Gina Vile? Even her name describes what a bitch she is.” Jackie said, rubbing her shoulder.

  “Plus, from the looks of your mussed up hair and your crooked shirt, it looks like you gave him a taste of the goods and then yanked it away. That will really make him suffer!” Aralia joked.

  Caroline smiled a little, chuckling. She knew the girls were just trying to make her feel better and she was okay with that. She was so glad to have her girlfriends there for her, especially tonight. She felt stupid for falling so hard in just a little over one week for a rock star. A rock star, for goodness sakes.

  Who did she think she was that she was going to fall in love with a rock star? Better yet, a rock star with a girlfriend. Caroline knew she had to forget him and move on, this was a silly fling and that was all. At least that is what she would keep telling herself.

  “Girls, let's just watch the movie. Forget about him.” Caroline said, getting up and walking over to the couch, plopping down in the middle. Aralia joined her on the couch and hit the play button. Jackie walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge, opened it, and brought it into the living room to refill everyone’s glasses. She filled Caroline’s extra full, almost to the brim.

  “Whoa, whoa. I think that is enough, Jackie.” Caroline laughed and grabbed her glass, sipping the wine before it spilled over the edge.

  “Oh, come on, take a few gulps. This is a perfectly justifiable occasion to have a little extra wine on a Friday night.” Jackie smiled and placed the bottle on the coffee table before joining her friends on the couch.

  The three girls finished the movie together and then parted ways. Aralia and Jackie headed home and Caroline threw on some sweat pants and a t-shirt to get ready for bed. She brushed her teeth and tidied up the apartment then grabbed a book to read for a few minutes before bed. She knew that she needed something to distract her while she fell asleep or her mind could wander back to places that she didn’t want it to go.

  She saw Logan’s t-shirt in her closet and couldn’t help herself, she grabbed it and stuffed it underneath her pillow. She got into bed and pulled the covers up tightly to her chest and flipped open the book and began reading until she finally drifted off to sleep on her own.

  Chapter Twelve

  Logan laid down in bed that night and just stared at the ceiling. His mind was overwhelmed thinking about Caroline. Her last words just kept repeating in his head. He had just told her that he was in love with her and she said it wasn’t enough.

  No, that’s not what she said, she said he didn’t love her enough. He felt the sting of her words over and over again but a part of him couldn’t stop wondering if she was right. After all, he was leaving for six months on a trip with another woman.

  Even if Gina wasn’t in the picture, he was still leaving on tour. What did he think was going to happen? She wasn’t going to go with him on tour, he could never expect that. Logan sighed and shook his head, closing his eyes to try and get some sleep and push all of his conflicting thoughts and feelings out of his head.

  An hour or so later, Gina came home and crawled into bed next to him. She laid down, not touching him, and yawned. Logan woke up slightly due to her disturbing the bed and glanced at her.

  “When I get back from tour, I am going to move out.” Logan said to her.

  “Not if you want to keep your career. I’m not having this conversation again, Logan. You know you can’t afford to lose me.” Gina said quietly, rubbing moisturizer into her palms and placing a sleeping mask over her eyes.

  “Gina, you knew this was coming. If you still want to work as my manager, that is fine. You were always great at that. But I think everything else between us needs to be severed.” Logan said, laying his arm behind his head to rest on.

  “Well that’s not really up to you, not if you want to be the famous rock star Logan Clay. You’re a brand that I created and I can just as easily end.” Gina said.

  “Goodnight, Gina.” he said, trying to ignore her threats. She didn’t say anything but instead rolled away from him and pulled the covers up over her shoulders. The two had their backs faced to each other and the foot between them might as well have been an icy chasm.

  ~**~

  “Aralia, I really don’t see how this could end up being a good idea.” Caroline said, smoothing her hair as she and Aralia and Jackie walked into the restaurant. It had been a few weeks since Logan had left on tour and Caroline had barely been leaving the house except for work.

  She caught herself reading about him on celebrity gossip websites way too often and had cried herself to sleep more than once holding his t-shirt. She knew it seemed pathetic and that it had been her choice, but she had really loved him. Even she couldn’t believe it when she came to that realization, she had fallen head over heels uncontrollably in love with Logan in a week of knowing him.

  Now he was halfway around the world, touring in Europe with Gina and she knew that the opportunity was dead and gone. She couldn’t help but miss the fantasy of what could have been, of what they could have had, if circumstances were different. Timing just wasn’t on their side and Logan didn’t know what he really wanted, or maybe he just didn’t know how to fight for what he really wanted.

  She went back and forth between tearful and angry when thinking about Logan because she missed him desperately but she was so angry that he hadn’t just left Gina. In the back of her head, she knew that he was being practical in terms of his career, but she was a romantic at heart. She wanted the whole overly dramatic, run through an airport screaming her name kind of love that he would have fought for and even given everything up for her. She knew these were immature thoughts but her heart ached every time his smile crossed her mind.

  “Oh, calm down. What’s the phrase about breakups? In order to get over one guy-“ Aralia started, interrupting Caroline’s wandering thoughts of self-pity.

  “-you need to get under another one!” Jackie laughed, finishing her sentence. Caroline smiled at her friends and then followed them further into the bar.

  There was a big sign over a table to one side where her friends were already filling out paperwork. Somehow, they had talked her into speed dating and so now all three girls were dressed to the nines and ready to impress. Caroline followed them and began putting her information on a card that one of the workers at the table had handed her. She completed it and handed it back in, then followed her friends over to the roped off area of the restaurant that was going to be used for the event.

  “Ladies and gentleman, if I could get your attention for a few minutes! Ladies, please pick a seat at any of the two-seater tables throughout the section, any table you want but only one lady to a table. Gentleman, please come up here and pick a ticket from the bowl. Whatever number is on your ticket is the table that you will start at, so please head over there to join your new lady friend. Once everyone is seated, the timer will begin and everyone will have 3 minutes with their speed date. You all have cards on the tables in front of you and everyone has nametags on, so if you want to make a second connection with someone, make sure to note their name on your card! At the end of the night, you will get the contact information for anyone you wrote down, who also picked you.

  Contact information will only be given to those who both picked each other, so if someone isn’t on there that you had wanted to see, that means they did
n’t pick you. But with this large group and all these gorgeous ladies and gentleman, I bet you are all going to have a great time and make some matches to last! So, everyone grab a drink and get seated, we will be starting soon!” The host announced on a small stage on one side of the room, raising a glass in the air to toast the start of the night.

  Aralia looked at Jackie and Caroline and smiled eagerly, clasping her hands together in excitement. They quickly headed over to the bar and ordered some drinks. Caroline ordered a double vodka cranberry. If she was about to go on a dozen blind dates, she was going to need an extra bit of alcohol in her!

  She took a quick few gulps to quell her nerves and then followed her friends over to the tables. The three girls picked three tables next to each other so they were only a few feet away from each other. No more than thirty seconds later, the host announced that the event was starting and a bell sounded.

  Caroline took another few gulps of her drink and then quickly put it down as a tall man approached her table and pulled out the chair opposite her. She smiled at him.

  “Hi there, I’m Greg.” the tall man reached out to shake her hand.

  He was at least six and a half feet tall but probably no more than one hundred and fifty pounds. His clothes practically hung off of him like he was no more than a hangar. He was sporting a gray comb over in an attempt to hide his bald dome. He grinned at her widely, showing off bright white teeth that seemed almost fake. Caroline couldn’t help but wonder if he was wearing dentures or some type of false teeth, he did look like he was maybe her parents age.

  “I’m Caroline, it’s nice to meet you.” She smiled and shook his hand. “So, tell me about yourself, what do you do?”

  “I am a train conductor,” Greg said, “working for the Northeast Corridor line. Drive the trains up and down the coast, get to visit all the big cities along the way. I get discounted stays at any Super 45 Motel in the country.”

  Greg winked at her and Caroline felt her stomach turn, completely grossed out at his inappropriate come on. She tried to hide her grimace with a tight lipped smile and nod. The Super 45 Motels were probably one of the grossest places you could ever stay. They were infamous for prostitute transactions, drug deals, and other low life individuals.

  “How lovely. What a wonderful perk of the job. What made you want to be a train conductor?” Caroline said, trying to steer conversation back to less awkward topics and attempting to sound sincere.

  “I’ve always had a talent for driving long machines into tunnels. In and out of every tunnel up and down the east coast.” Greg winked at her again and Caroline thought she was definitely going to throw up this time.

  She picked up her drink and quickly finished it, gulping down the last half. She lifted her hand in the air and waved to the bartender across the room, hoping to catch his attention. After a moment, she did and he nodded at her as she smiled and pointed to her drink. Luckily the bell rang at the same time and Caroline sighed in relief.

  “Well, it's been lovely to meet you Greg.” Caroline said.

  “You too, beautiful! You are definitely going on my card.” He said and winked again.

  He reached his hand out to shake hers again but she awkwardly waved to him instead so he got up and continued over to the next table. Caroline turned to Jackie, who was about to deal with Greg and gave her a warning glance. Jackie caught her signal and took a swig of her drink in preparation. Caroline smiled and laughed quietly.

  “What’s so funny?”

  Caroline turned to realize that she hadn’t noticed her next date sit down in front of her. He was about her height with dark brown curly hair springing out all over his head. He had thick eyebrows that were very close to connecting and creating a unibrow and a very large and pointed nose. He was wearing a very nice and clearly expensive suit and had a shy but sweet smile.

  “Oh, nothing, sorry I wasn’t paying attention. I am Caroline, nice to meet you.” Caroline smiled at him, relieved to see someone her own age.

  “I am Turner Schwartz. I am an accountant and Jewish. I know, what a stereotype right? I aim to please.” Turner said to her smiling, she laughed at his joke.

  “Nothing wrong with that, I’m a paralegal studying for the bar exam for the last few years, so I get it.” she shared.

  “Oh awesome, a lawyer chick. So, beautiful and smart, huh?” He smiled at her, then he rolled his eyes. “Oh, gosh, that was terrible. Worst pickup line ever, huh? Can you tell I haven’t been on a date in awhile?”

  “Oh come on, don’t be so hard on yourself. You just had a three minute date right before me! At this rate, you are almost a player.” Caroline teased him, enjoying his humor but feeling sorry for the guy. He burst out laughing at her response and slapped the table. Caroline jumped in surprise and her drink slid right off the edge of the table.

  “Oh crap, sorry! I am such a putz!” Turner jumped up to clean up her glass.

  “Oh, don’t worry about it, the glass was empty. I was waiting for a fresh drink actually.” She said, gesturing to him that it wasn’t a big deal.

  “Thank goodness, let me get that drink for you then!” Turner jumped up and ran to the bar and Caroline watched him converse with the bartender and hand over some cash.

  Sweet guy, she thought, but his awkwardness is a bit uncomfortable. Luckily, he had a good sense of humor so she wasn’t minding it too much. He was back a minute later with a fresh glass in hand and gave it to her. Just as he was handing it to her, the bell rang again.

  “Kicking me out as soon as I buy your drink? I see how it is.” Turner smiled at her, she grinned at him and took her drink.

  “It was great meeting you, Turner.” Caroline said as the two parted ways. Caroline glanced down at her card, empty so far. She quickly scrawled down Turner’s name because why not? He had made her laugh. She then flipped over the card so her next suitor couldn’t see it, as he was seating himself before her.

  “Hello there, name’s Zak. I play pro soccer, as you probably know, and no I am not doing autographs today. You can put a request in through my blog if you want an autographed photograph.” The man said to her. He was a bit taller than her, Hispanic, and had short, greased hair pushed back. He had a thin mustache right above his upper lip that wasn’t attached to the thin beard that lined his chin.

  “Uhm, okay.” Caroline looked puzzled at him, of course she had no idea who he was and she was immediately put off by his arrogance.

  “I’m Caroline. I work as a paralegal.” she told him.

  “Rock on. You’ll get there one day, gorgeous. Not all of us stumble upon our dream jobs right away, sometimes you just have to have that special talent that only us select few have.” He coolly replied to her and then took a sip of his martini, holding the stem of the glass gingerly with his pinky finger pointed slightly out. Caroline had to concentrate to keep a normal look on her face because she was really beginning to detest this man.

  “If only we could all be so lucky.” Caroline said.

  “I don’t think so, babe. We can’t all be lucky. Some people just aren’t made for the limelight.” He smiled widely at her, clearly looking down at her cleavage instead of her face.

  “Of course.” She responded sarcastically. A silence came between the two of them awkwardly. Zak looked around the room and cleared his throat. Caroline fingered the straw in her glass, swirling her ice around.

  “Well, doll, you know what? The bell is about to ring but I am going to make it your lucky day. Here you go.” He opened his suit jacket and pulled a photograph out of his pocket, handing it to her. It was an autographed picture of himself in black and white, wearing only tight briefs. It was signed “You’re welcome. Zak Landberg”.

  “Thanks.” She said dully, taking the photograph and reading what it said.

  At the same time the bell rang and Caroline breathed a sigh of relief that she was done with Zak. She put his photograph under her card and took a drink in preparation of her next date. She looked over at Aralia who g
ave her a smile and a thumbs up, Caroline attempted to give her one back which just made Aralia roll her eyes.

  “I see your nametag says ‘Caroline’, let me guess, you must be Caroline?” her next date said to her as he sat down. She nodded her head at him, giving him a fake smile for his attempt at a joke.

  “I am. Good guess. You must be Ellis.” Caroline responded and shook his hand, checking his name tag.

  “How did you guess?” He laughed. Caroline just forced a laugh back because she really had no idea how to respond to that or what to say now. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. A pause descended between them for a minute or so as the two looked around the room and tried to think of what to say next.

  “Do you like cats?” Ellis asked suddenly. Caroline looked at him with a funny expression and then responded that she did. He got really excited at her response and reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. He slid out a couple of small photographs and laid them out on the table in front of her. There were eight photographs in total and all of them were of different cats wearing different seasonally themed outfits.

  “So, this is Tidbit, my calico. This one here is Spots, see she loves Christmas. And this little fellow in the Leprechaun outfit is Clover, get it? I thought that was pretty clever. Over here is Gibson, Lightning, Jinxy, Nibbles, Rosey, and Cally. I got her when I lived in California, so that’s why I called her Cally.” Ellis went on and on, describing each cat in the photographs. Caroline just nodded her head and smiled, pretending to be fascinated by what he was saying. It was not an easy task.

  Mercy showed itself and the bell finally rang again, Caroline couldn’t possibly have been more excited. The host got back on stage and addressed the crowd.