by Rusty Kontos
Instead, we are going on a little trip to the city to see someone. We must not let your father find out or he will get upset, okay? It will be our secret.” The children nodded their heads in agreement and swore they would never tell.
“Mama, why did Papa hit Nickole so hard?” Paul asked.
“Paul, your father was just upset and angry. He didn’t mean to act like he did. I’m sure that when he comes home tonight he will say he’s sorry to Nickole and try to make it up to us.”
“I don’t like Papa anymore!”
“Paul, you must not talk that way. He is your father. Paul, sometimes grownups say and do things they don’t mean and they are sorry for later. Now you must try to understand. So get your coats on, so we can go.”
The children and Mary all piled into the car on their way to the city of Chicago to see Mr. Colletti. For a while, everyone was silent in the car. Then Paul broke the silence, “Mama, why are we going to Chicago?”
“Well, you see Paul, I once knew Mr. Colletti. He was a friend of mine. Now he is in the hospital. He is very ill and asking to see me. Your father doesn’t like him, so that is why he was upset today. That’s why we must not tell your father that we went to see him.”
“Mama, is Mr. Colletti going to die?”
“I hope not, Paul, I hope not!”
“Mama, what is wrong with him? Is he sick like I was when I had the flu?” Tiena asked.
“No, Tiena, I don’t think Mr. Colletti has the flu. I don’t really know what is wrong with him. I hope that he gets well real soon.”
“Mama, why doesn’t Papa like him?” Paul asked.
“Your father and Mr. Colletti had a disagreement many years ago and your father just does not like him, Paul.”
“So that’s why Papa got so mad today when those men were at our house and told you that Mr. Colletti wanted to see you?”
“Yes, Paul, that’s why.”
Mary and the children arrived at the hospital about ten a.m. It was snowing hard and the wind was howling with high gusts, making the snow very cold. They got out of the car and made their way through the cold, blowing snow. They came to the front entrance and opened the door to go in. Mary stopped in the entranceway and turned to Nickole, “Honey, if anyone asks about your face, let’s just tell them you fell down, okay?”
“Yes Mama,” answered Nickole.
“Paul, you and Tiena must not say anything either about how Nickole’s face got this way. You must not tell anyone that your father was responsible for it. People just wouldn’t understand.”
Paul and Tiena both said, “Alright Mama. We won’t tell anyone.”
“Okay. Now let’s go and see where Mr. Colletti is.” When Mary approached the information desk, there was an older woman sitting behind the desk. She wore dark-rimmed glasses and her hair was slightly graying. Mary asked in a low, soft voice, “I would like to know what room Mr. Nicholas Colletti is in, please.”
The woman looked surprised and suspicious when Mary asked for Colletti. Then she asked, “May I have your name, please?”
Mary gave the woman her name. The woman picked up the phone, then asked for a doctor by the name of Greenio. The woman waited for a moment for the doctor to answer the phone on his end. A few moments later, the doctor answered his call from the woman and they talked for a few moments. Then the woman paused, turned to Mary and said, “Mrs. Martino, is there someone with you by the name of Nickole Martino?”
Mary looked at her for a moment, a little stunned and surprised as she answered the woman’s question. “Why yes there is, she is my oldest daughter.” The woman answered into the mouthpiece of her phone saying, “Yes there is, doctor, shall I send them on up? Good-bye, doctor.”
The woman hung up her phone and then looked at Mary, she said, “You and your daughter may go up to see Mr. Colletti. The two little ones will have to stay down here. I will keep an eye on them for you. Go on up, don’t worry. I think we will get along just fine.” The woman gave Paul and Tiena a smile and a little wink with her eye. Then she gave Mary a card, telling her that Mr. Colletti was on the ninth floor, in room 906. Mary told Paul and Tiena to be good and behave. Then she and Nickole headed toward the elevators.
As she entered the elevator with Nickole, Mary’s heart and pulse started to race as she thought of seeing Nick for the first time in thirteen years. The man she once had been very much in love with.
CHAPTER SIX
Mary and Nickole stepped off the elevator and walked down the hall in search of Colletti’s room. As
they approached Nick’s room, Nickole took her mother by the hand and stopped her, “Mama, there is
a policeman in front of the room! Why is he there?”
“I don’t know, Nickole. We will soon find out. Now come on, there is nothing to be afraid of.” Mary took Nickole’s shaking hand in hers and proceeded to the room.
The police officer stepped in front of them, “I’m sorry, Ma’am, you can’t go in unless you have a pass and some identification.”
“Here is my pass and all I have for identification is my driver’s license.” The cop was a tall, husky, red-haired Irishman with friendly, but stern blue eyes.
“You are one Mary Martino? And the little girl is who?”
“She is my daughter, Nickole.” Mary told him.
“May I ask what happened to the poor little one’s
face?”
“Why yes, she slipped and fell on some ice on her way to the car this morning.”
“Oh! That is too bad. Does it hurt very much, little one?”
“No sir, I shouldn’t have been running. I might not have fallen down, but my brother and I were racing to see who could get to the car first. The winner got to sit up front with Mama.” Nickole told the officer.
“And who won?” He asked.
“My brother Paul did. But he let me sit in front anyway.”
“That was very nice of him. He must be a real gentleman. You can go in now, Mrs. Martino. Take the little one with you too.” He smiled as he gave Mary back her identification. Then he stepped aside to let them go in to Nick’s room. Nickole’s eyes widened as she and her mother approached Nick’s hospital bed. Nickole had never been in a hospital before. She stared at the man lying in the bed, fighting for his life. She had the feeling that she had seen him somewhere before. Nickole felt sorry for him as she stared at all the bottles with tubes attached, hanging over his bed. The ends of the tubes
connected to needles leading into both of his arms. One bottle contained a pint of blood the other had a clear water-like fluid in it. Tears welled up in her eyes as she could almost feel the pain he was experiencing. She could not understand why she felt a closeness to this man, but she felt sorrow for his pain. She bowed her head and said a little prayer for
him. “God, if you must take him, please don’t let him suffer too long with the pain he must be having.”
Suddenly, it hit her as she heard her mother call the man by his first name. “Nick, its Mary,” her mother said in a low voice.
She got a better look at him as he turned his head and slowly opened his eyes. His voice was just above a whisper as he said, “Mary, you came. I didn’t think that you would.”
Mary looked down at him with a smile. Her heart went out to him as she saw how glazed his eyes were from the medication and all the pain he was in. Nickole stood quietly behind her mother, listening to their every word. She knew he was the man in the park that gave Sally and herself the money. Nick managed a little smile without too much difficulty as he asked, “Did you bring our little girl?”
“Yes Nick, she is standing here behind me.” Nick’s eyes tried to search for Nickole. Mary stepped to one side so Nick could see Nickole. His smile left his lips as she saw Nickole’s face.
“What happened to her face?” He asked with a touch of anger in his voice. Before Mary could answer, Nickole spoke up telling him the same story she told the cop. Nick’s smile returned as he said, “You should be more
careful, honey. What is your name?”
“My name is Nickole, sir.”
“Nickole. That is a beautiful name. You know, it is almost like my name. I like that name, Nickole, yes, I like it very much. You know, Mary, she looks like I pictured her in my mind except for the bruises. Just like an angel. She is beautiful. I know what you’re thinking, Mary,” Nick was saying as he saw the surprised look of astonishment on her face. “Yes, Mary, you’re wondering about how I knew we had a child and where to find you. Did you forget who I am, Mary? I knew where to find you three days after you left. I didn’t know about the baby, though. Not until after she was born. I knew she was mine. I can still count, you know. I didn’t interfere with you and Benny because I knew you were happy with him. I also knew Benny would make a better life for you than I could have, so that is why I left you alone all these years. I have kept you both close to my heart and in my mind. I loved you so very much, that I let you marry someone else. Someone who could give you the kind of life you wanted and needed. I could give you love, but I could not give you and my child a life without fear. I knew that Benny could, so that is why I let you go. However, I still love you. Mary, I have never stopped. I would have never bothered you, if it hadn’t been for my selfish desire to see you and my child but just once before I die. I just had to tell you that I still love you and that I understand why you left me. Mary, does Nickole know who I am?”
“No, she doesn’t. I have never told her, even though I knew that someday I MIGHT have to. I have always felt in my heart she might find out, but I had always hoped that it would be when she was much older and better able to understand things. But right now she is just too young, Nick.”
“She has a right to know, Mary.”
“I know she does, Nick, but not now.”
Nickole tensed up as she listened to what Nick and her mother were talking about in such a low voice. Her ears were keen and sharp, and she heard every word they had said. In a split second, it hit her. She knew that this man was her father. That is why Benny was never close to her as he was with the other children. Then as the realization of what they were saying hit her, she came closer to the bed, looking
first to Nick and then at her mother.
“Mama, I heard what you said and I am not too young to understand. This man is my father, isn’t he? My real father. I have the right to know, and I want to know now! Is this man really my father?!”
“Yes, he is. He is your real father.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me you had been married before you married Papa, and that Papa wasn’t my real father? Mama, why? Why, Mama? Tell me!”
“Nickole, baby, please try to understand if you can. I didn’t tell you because - Nick and I – well, we were never married.”
“Never married!” Nickole said with disbelief and tears in her eyes. She gripped the rail at the foot of Nick’s bed, gripping so tight that her knuckles turned white. She looked at her mother, hurt and anger in her voice, as she said, “Oh Mama, how could you? If you were never married to him, then that means what most people would call illegitimate. I am old enough also to know that illegitimate means bastard! Isn’t that right, Mama? I’m a bastard!”
“Nickole! Stop it!”
“Wait, Mary, don’t scold her. She is just upset right now. Let me speak with her a moment.” Nick held out his hand to Nickole. She moved over to the side of his bed, her eyes filled with tears. Nick took her hand in his. He looked deep into her eyes, as he explained to her about Mary and himself. “Nickole, listen to me. Don’t judge us until you have heard what I have to say. Once your mother and I were very much in love. It was my fault that we did not marry. I was young and greedy for money and power. I wanted that before marriage. I know now that I should have married your mother first, and strived for my power later, but I was too dumb to realize it then. I lost you, too. She should have left me long before she did, but as I said, we were both young and very much in love. I’m not saying that condones what we did. We made a mistake, because we are people just like anyone else. Everybody at one time or another makes a mistake in their life. When you are older, you will be able to understand more clearly that what we did wasn’t so terrible that you can’t forgive us. However, out of all the wrong that we may have done, we had something very wonderful out of it – you, Nickole. You are the love we once had for each other, and all the years that I was not able to be a father to you, have made me pay for mistakes. I have loved you even though I could not be with you. Before you judge us, baby, try to find it in your heart to forgive us if you think you can. Remember, we both love you very much and we need your forgiveness. We never meant to hurt anyone, most of all, you.”
Nickole stood there for a moment without saying anything. She saw tears come to Nick’s eyes and roll
down his cheeks. Then a faint smile came to her as she looked from Nick to her mother, then back to Nick and said, “I do not have the right to judge you and Mama. Only God has that right. I am twelve and a half-years old. Old enough to know that I love Mama and that she loves me. Once she loved you... well, that was in the past. So as I said before, it isn’t my place to judge you. I can see that you are sorry for what you did. You may say you still love Mama and me. Maybe in time I will love you, just as much as I do Mama. I don’t know what it is, but I feel something for you now. I felt it the minute I saw you lying here in this bed. Maybe things were meant to be this way. I think God wanted it this way and I think he has forgiven you. He would want me to do the same, so I forgive you and Mama, too.”
Nick smiled as he said, “You see Mary, I told you she was an angel, an angel straight from heaven.”
Mary put her arms around Nickole, giving her a loving hug. “Oh my darling little girl is all grown up, and I was afraid you were too young to understand. I guess I grew up a little, too.”
“We all grew up a lot today, Mary. As for me, I am thirteen years too late,” Nick stated.
“It’s never too late, Nick,” Mary said, as tears stung at her eyes.
“Mary, now we must talk about why I sent for you. I know that I might not make it, and besides, I wanted to see you and our child just once before I die. I want you to know that I have arranged for you and Nickole to have everything I own. On the table, you will find two cards. They have names, addresses, and phone numbers on them. Tom Luchino is my lawyer. He has my will in his office in a safe. Joe Torrio is my partner now. You remember him, Mary?”
“Yes, I do, but I remember him as not being such a nice guy.”
“He’s okay now, Mary. Joe has changed a lot since he got older. We all change with age. Anyway, Joe knows what my wishes are to be. He was with me and was a witness at the signing of my will. So if you ever need anything at all, you call one of them, okay?”
“Yes, Nick, I will, only if Nickole ever needs something.”
“Good, now I have one more favor to ask of you.”
Just then, a woman’s voice interrupted. “I am sorry, but you will have to leave now. Mr. Colletti has to
rest.”
“Nurse, please let me have one more moment with them. Please!”
Nick’s begging eyes made the nurse’s stern face become gentler as she said, “Well, I guess it will be alright. But just for a moment longer.”
“Thank you, Nurse. What I have to say will only take a moment.”
The nurse stepped out of the room. As she closed the door, Nick turned his eyes back to Mary and Nickole. “Mary, will you and Nickole come back to visit me?”
“Nick, I can’t. Benny would be furious if he knew I came today.”
“Yes, I guess you are right, Mary. I don’t have the right to ask that of you. Mary would you let Nickole come back to see me, that is, if she wants to?”
“Oh Nick, I don’t think so. She is just too young to come this far alone.”
Nickole was staring at Nick’s pleading face, filled full of loneliness. “Mama, I would like very much to come back; and I am not too young to come by myself. Mama
, he needs someone.”
Mary looked at her daughter, and back to Nick. Then seeing that it meant a lot to both of them, in defeat she answered, “Yes, Nick, she can come back if she wants to.”
“Thank you, Mary.”
“Yes, thank you, Mama.”
“Nick, we will have to go now. The nurse will be coming back any second now.”
“Nickole, can I kiss you good-bye?” Nickole looked at him, stunned for a moment. Then smiling, as she walked back over to his bed, she leaned over and kissed Nick on the cheek.
“Good-bye, see ya tomorrow.”
Mary and Nickole started for the door, Nickole stopped for second to look back at Nick from over her shoulder. Nick gave her a little smile and wink. Nickole smiled back at him, waving her hand goodbye as she and her mother went out the door.
Later as she was driving home, Mary thought about everything that had happened: “Oh god, was I wrong in bringing Nickole with me today? Now she knows Nick is her real father and she has taken it so very well. They looked so right together. Nickole is like Nick in so many ways. She has his eyes, hair, and the same smile. Her expressions and mannerisms are the same as Nick’s. Seeing them together today, made me realize just how much she is like Nick. He looked so helpless, lying in that hospital bed. My heart went out to you, Nick Colletti. I thought I had gotten over you, but after seeing you today, knowing that you may be dying, memories of you came back. I still love you, Nick Colletti. I can never tell you this, but I can show it by sharing our child with you before you die. Oh, God, will anything ever be the same for us, for my husband, children, myself, and for Nick? Oh, God, what is to become of us all?”
CHAPTER SEVEN
At 9:15 that evening, Mary paced back and forth in the living room, stopping occasionally to peer out the front window. A worried look crossed her face as she thought to herself, “Oh Benny, where are you? Why aren’t you home yet?”
