by Rusty Kontos
Just then Nickole came into the room. “Mama, isn’t Papa home yet?”
“No, honey, he is not. Nickole, why aren’t you asleep?”
“I couldn’t sleep, so I thought if Papa wasn’t home yet, that maybe I could stay out here with you for a while and we could talk.”
“Oh, all right, just until Benny comes home. Then you must go to bed. I don’t know what kind of mood he will be in when he does come home. Oh, where could he be this late? Maybe something has happened to him.”
“Don’t worry, Mama. He will come home soon.”
“Yes dear, you are right. He is some place just cooling off his mad spell. Well, what shall we talk about?”
“I want to talk about your life with my father. I want to know what he was like and how you first met him.”
“Alright, let’s sit over here by the window so I can see Benny if he pulls into the drive.”
Nickole and her mother went to the window. Mary sat down in a big brown armchair. Nickole sat in the window seat facing the chair, her back to the window.
“I lived with my mother in a five-room apartment, we had in a tenement house on the north side of Chicago. My father had died ten years before. Papa was a layman at the shipyards. A cargo boom broke that was carrying a cargo net full of loaded wooden boxes. My father was below, directing them to the ship’s cargo hold when it broke. The boxes fell on him and he was killed instantly. I was twelve when it happened. Mama took Papa’s death very hard. But although Mama was grieved over Papa’s death, she managed to support us. She took in other people’s washing and ironing. Mama scrubbed floors in an office building three nights a week so that I could go to school. It meant a great deal to Mama for me to go to school and graduate. She never had that chance. When she was very young, she came to Chicago from the old country of Italy. Mama had to work until she
met Papa and married him. Mama never had to work after that, not until after Papa’s death. Papa always said that a woman’s place was in the home, raising lots of babies, and keeping the house in order. Mama never remarried and I was her only child. I managed to graduate from school and take a job in a department store as a clerk in the ladies department. I made Mama stop working, and we lived very nicely from the paycheck I brought home each week. I met your father shortly after that. It was in mid-July when I first saw him. It was hot that day. I was on my way back home from the butcher shop where I had stopped for Mama. She needed some things so she could cook her special dish for dinner that night. I was walking down the street, my arms full of meat packages and a few other things, when all of a sudden I was knocked down to the sidewalk. My packages were scattered in all directions around me and lying on top of me was a young and handsome man. Our faces were so close, we could almost touch each other. As he looked down at me, a bold grin on his face, his beautiful blue eyes met mine. Then a second later, he jumped to his feet, and with the grin still on his face he said, `Sorry, Doll, but I am in a hurry. Maybe I’ll run into you again some time.’ Then he turned and ran down the street. I watched him as he disappeared into an alley, next to the butcher shop. As I got to my feet, and had gathered up all my packages, I was almost knocked down again, this time by a police officer. I thought to myself that the police officer must have been chasing the young man. Well, I started for home; but when I got there and started up the front steps, someone ran up to the
steps ahead of me. As I looked up, the young man who had knocked me down, stood there in front of me, grinning like a sly cat.”
“Hi Doll, need some help with the packages?’ He said, still grinning.
“It’s you!” I said very shocked to see him again. ‘How did you get here? I thought you were running
from the police.”
“Ah, those dumb cops. I just let them chase me, because they need the exercise. It helps keep their flat feet in shape.”
“I started laughing with him. I just couldn’t help it. He was so funny and yet very charming, as well as handsome. He looked like a Greek god standing there, his dark brown wavy hair softly tossed by the
blowing wind. His blue eyes were shining like the morning sky. He had perfect white teeth, white as winter’s snow. His olive tan skin made his teeth seem even whiter. Oh, Nickole, he was as perfect as a man could possibly be. We introduced ourselves to each other and finally he persuaded me to let him help me
carry my packages to my apartment and to meet my
mother.... Nickole, I see headlights of a car!” Mary said abruptly as she got up from her chair to look out the window. “Quick, go to your room, Nickole. It’s Benny.”
Nickole jumped up from the window seat and ran to her room. Mary looked at the clock on the living room wall. It was five past midnight. Then she heard the front door open. Benny walked in. “Benny, where on earth have you been? I have been out of my mind with worry.”
Benny glared at her as he snarled, “The fuck you have. You went to see that sonofabitch, didn’t you?”
“Benny, you have been drinking. You’re drunk.”
“Damn right I have. So what bitch, you went to see
him, didn’t you? Goddammit, answer me! You went didn’t you?”
“Yes, I felt I had to. I was afraid if I didn’t go, those two men just might have come back. I was afraid for you, Benny, as well as for the children and myself.”
“The hell you were afraid. I’ll tell you why you went to see that fucking bastard. You went there so you could see him just one more time before he croaks. On the other hand, maybe you’ve been seeing him behind my back all along. Yes, that’s it, isn’t it? Sure it is. How else would he have known where to send his two goons? Why, I bet he’s been coming here every chance he got.”
“Benny, stop it! That’s not true and you know it. I am not going to stand here and listen to your drunken ravings a minute longer. Your dinner is in the oven. You can go eat it or go to bed and sleep your drunk off. I don’t give a damn which you do. I am going to bed. I have heard enough of your drunken remarks. Good night.”
Mary turned to leave the room. She felt the pain dig into her arm as Benny grabbed her. He jerked her around to face him. “Benny, let go. You’re hurting me!” she cried.
“You’re not going anywhere until I say you can.”
“Benny, let go!”
“Not till you tell me what your ‘Mr. Big’ had to tell you that was so goddamn important that you had to drive through the snow nearly a hundred miles to find out.”
“Benny, I refuse to tell you anything as long as you are in this condition.”
“You’ll tell me now or I will beat it out of you.” Benny struck Mary on the side of her head with his
hand in a closed fist. Mary cried out in pain, then her body wrenched free from Benny’s grip.
She stood across the room from Benny, her body shaking, her eyes full of tears glaring at him. Her lips
trembled as she screamed at him. “All right, Benny. All right! I’ll tell you. If you lay one more hand on me, I will have you put in jail. I mean that, Benny. He wanted to tell me that if he dies, Nickole inherits his money and his estate. That’s all, nothing more.”
“So he’s going to leave everything to his bastard. Ha! The one that I was dumb enough to raise. Well tell me this, my innocent one. If you haven’t been seeing him, then how the hell did he know he even had you knocked up to have a kid? How did he know she was a girl, and her name? Tell me, how did he know?”
“I don’t know how he found out. All I know is what he told me. He said that he found out that I had a baby girl a few months after you and I were married. So he figured that she was his.”
“How touching. Bullshit! If he knew it then, why in the hell didn’t he come back here and claim her? I sure as hell didn’t want her. All I wanted was you. Not Nick Colletti’s bastard kid. Oh sure, I gave her my name and raised her as if she was mine. However, I hated every minute of it. In addition, most of all, I hate her because every time I look at her, she looks more like him every da
y. She even acts like him. You
know what I think, Mary? I think you are a hell of a liar. I think that you never stopped loving him or his money. I don’t think I am rich enough for you. Or is it because my dick isn’t big enough for you? Maybe he is bigger and better for you. That’s why I can’t make you come. That’s it, isn’t it? He can, because he has got a big dick. Right? Ain’t that right, bitch?”
“Leave me alone, Benny. I don’t want to hear any more of your filthy drunken words. There hasn’t been anything between Nick and I since long before I left and married you. I married you because I loved you and needed you. If I didn’t, I would have stayed with Nick.”
“You lying bitch! It’s never been over between you two.”
“The hell with it, Benny. I’m going to bed.” Mary started to leave the room. Benny leaped at her like a wild animal. He grabbed her by her hair. Knocking her to the floor, he straddled her body on his knees. In a screaming rage, yelling at her at the top of his voice, he kept hitting her in the face as he cursed her. Mary was crying and pleading with him to stop. But Benny didn’t stop. He just kept hitting her, repeatedly. Mary’s pleas were useless. Benny was now like a mad man.
Moments later, when she heard her mother’s screams, Nickole ran into the room. In terrified horror, she saw Benny beating her mother on the floor. Nickole ran over to Benny, screaming at him to stop. She pulled at his hair, trying to pull him off her mother.
“Stop it! You’re killing her! Please leave Mama alone. Please! You are killing her, stop it!”
Benny didn’t listen to her. He just yelled at her to get the hell away. Then with a swing of his arm, he knocked Nickole off him to the floor. Nickole got up crying and ran to the hall closet. She opened the door and took out the twelve-gauge shotgun that stood in one corner. She quickly loaded it with some shells that were in a box on a shelf. She knew how to load it because Benny had taught her when he had taken her and Paul hunting. After loading the gun, she ran back to the living room.
“Papa, stop hitting Mama or I will shoot you and kill you if I have to. Papa! I mean it, I have your gun, and
it is aimed at your back.”
Benny jerked his head up. He glared at Nickole as he saw her standing there holding his gun on him. Then he snarled at her, and with a nasty grin he said, “Well, if it isn’t little Nick Colletti. Go on, shoot me. Then you can be just like him. You’re his bastard, all right. Look at you. You’re just like him. That’s how he made his way to the top, by killing people. He started young, so you might as well, too. Go on, kill me! What are you waiting for? Kill me and make that guinea bastard father of yours proud of you. Yes, that’s right, I called Colletti your father. He’s your Papa, not me. I raised you so you could point a gun at me and threaten to kill me, and with my own gun, too?! You got it made, kid. A whore for a mama, and a gangster for a papa. And to top things off, a stepfather for a sucker.”
“Shut up, Papa! I don’t care what you say to me. I know you hate me. However, you are wrong about Mama. She loves you, not my father. Now let Mama up.”
“You weren’t surprised when I said Colletti was your father. You knew it all along. Just how long have you known?”
“I didn’t find out until this morning.”
“And who told you? Your dear Mama, or your bastard Father?”
“I figured it out for myself at first. Then I made Mama tell me. She didn’t want to. She wanted me to
go on believing that you were my father. Anyway, I have known for a long time that you never really loved me. I didn’t know why until today.”
Mary got up from the floor and sat in a chair while Benny and Nickole went on talking. She held a hanky to her bleeding nose.
“So you...”
“Shut up, Papa, and let me finish. And you listen to me good. As I said, I knew that you didn’t love me. But that didn’t stop me from loving you, even when I found out that you weren’t my father. That still didn’t change the way I felt about you. Sure, I feel something for him. But he is a stranger to me. However, you are the only father I have ever known. Like you said, you raised me. That should mean something. You say that Mama doesn’t love you. Well, if she didn’t love you, why do you think she sat
up this late worrying about you not being home? If she didn’t love you, then why would she have married you instead of my real father? I do not know what’s wrong with you, Papa. I don’t know why, nor do I care, but you are so full of hate for Colletti that it has made you a stupid, suspicious fool. If you love Mama, as I think you do, then you will stop hurting Mama as well as yourself. As for me, well I don’t expect you to change your attitude toward me. I will stay out of your way. But, Papa, I swear if you ever hurt Mama in any way again, like tonight, I will kill you dead. That’s a promise.”
Benny sat there on his knees, listening to the words of a grown up coming from a child. He became sober and calm very fast. He felt a little chill of fear tingle down his spine as he stared at Nickole holding his gun on him. Then he looked over to Mary and saw what he had done to her face. As he saw her sitting there crying, he started to feel sorry for her. The shame and guilt welled up inside. He buried his face in his hands and began to weep like a child.
“I feel sorry for you, Papa.” Nickole said. She dropped the gun to her side, turned and walked slowly to the closet and put away the gun. Then she went to her room.
Mary went over to Benny and knelt down beside him. She leaned his head against her chest and cradled him in her arms like a child.
“I’m sorry, Mary, forgive me,” he sobbed.
“I forgive you, Benny. I just hope that Nickole can forgive us for all the wrong and hurt that’s been done to her.”
Mary knelt there, still holding Benny in her arms for a long while on the floor, just listening to him spill out all of his feelings. “I have tried to love her like my own, Mary, but I just can’t. Every time I look at her, she reminds me of Nick. Then I start to think about my brother, Chris, and how if it hadn’t been for Nick, Chris would still be alive. I know she is just a child, but Mary, she is his child. Tonight she wasn’t a child anymore. The way she spoke and the way she stared at me, it was as if Nick himself was standing there, holding that gun and talking. She wasn’t like a little girl anymore. She was like a cold-blooded killer. And I can’t help it....Mary, I feel that before she is of age, she will kill somebody. I get the feeling inside me that it will be me. Can you understand that, Mary?”
“Benny, she is still a child, a very hurt child with the feeling of being rejected by the only father she has ever known. Now I think you should go to bed and try to get some sleep.”
“Yes, I do need some sleep. I have to be at my job, no matter what.” Benny went off to bed and Mary went to the kitchen to fix herself a cup of coffee. She
sat at the table, her eyes filled with tears. She sat there all alone in her own private hell, praying to God and thinking of her past with Nick.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Everyone liked Mary’s mother, Mama Mannellio, in her neighborhood. She was like most of all, by Nick. He loved her like his own mother. Mama Mannellio was a typical, old-fashioned Italian lady. She was short and on the plump side, with large breasts and wide hips. She had large, olive-shaped eyes. They were black as onyx and always seemed to have a twinkle in them. She kept her black, slightly graying hair, pulled straight back into a neatly tied bun. She spoke with a thick Italian accent. Nick always brought Mama flowers when he came. They were yellow roses, her favorite kind of flower. At night, after Mama would go to bed, Nick and Mary would go up to the roof top of Mary’s apartment building. Nick would hold Mary in his arms and together they would stare out at the city, with its bright lights, motor cars, and people. Nick would talk about his future plans with Mary. He was like a little boy dreaming of something he really wanted, as he gazed at the city.
“Mary, someday all of this will be mine out there. The city, all of its people, money and its power, it will all be mine someday. When I do ge
t it, I am going to give it to you as a wedding present. What do you think of that?”
Mary giggled at Nick, as she answered in a joking way, “What are you going to do, run for mayor?”
Nick gripped hard on Mary’s shoulders and spun her around to face him. Mary became a little frightened of Nick’s cold, deadly stare, like that of a cobra snake before it strikes. Then in an angry voice, he said, “Goddammit, don’t laugh at me, Not ever.”
“I wasn’t laughing at you, Nick. I was only kidding with you. I didn’t mean anything by it, Nick.” Tears started to well up in Mary’s eyes.
Then Nick’s anger left his voice as he put his arms around her, kissing her forehead and cheeks. “I’m sorry, Mary. It’s just that I don’t like to have anyone laugh at me. Most of all, you. Believe me, when I tell you that one day I will run this city and the people in it, I mean it! I am not joking. I am dead serious Mary. Mary, haven’t you ever wondered about where my money comes from and what kind of work I do to get it?”
“Yes I have, Nick. Nevertheless, I have always felt that it wasn’t my place to ask you. If and when you
wanted me to know, you would tell me.”
“Well, Mary, I think now is the time, although I can’t tell you everything, at least not in detail. Like certain
people’s names. I cannot reveal too much of anything
to you, except that you must trust and believe in me as I do in you. Mary, before I tell you anything, do you promise on your Father’s grave that you will never breathe a word of what I’m about to tell you to anyone? Not even Mama?”
“Of course, Nick, if that’s the way you want it. Yes, I promise.”
“That’s the way it has to be. I have faith in you, Mary, so don’t ever let me down. It could mean an unspeakable death for me if it was to get around that I told you anything. It would mean death for me, you, and to anyone you tell.”
“My God, Nick, if it is that terrible, you don’t have to tell me.”
“Yes Mary, I feel I have to tell you. I want you to know the kind of man you will be marrying and the
