Valentines on the Edge
Page 6
I want to ask if he gets up and helps with the babies, but honestly I don’t care. Claire is always mad at him, but I think she has unrealistic expectations. Thier lifestyle doesn’t fit his goals and dreams, and I wonder when it’s going to hit him.
He gestures for me to sit on the couch near his desk area. It’s always a mess, and I have to move some notebooks and other crap out of the way to wedge myself into the little spot remaining once he sits down. I wish he had more furniture down here because this close proximity makes both lying and telling the truth seem like impossible options.
When I don’t respond to his defense of Claire, he continues. “So what’s going on? How could you possibly want to quit the band? Is something going on? One of the guys giving you a hard time?”
“No, it’s not anything like that.” I sigh and weigh my options. “Actually, it’s me who has feelings for one of the guys.”
I can’t believe I just said that. He will never let me leave this room until I tell him which one, and since none of them are single, no answer is a good one.
His eyes widen. “Seriously? Oh, Zoe.”
He puts his beer on the desk next to him and takes my hand. For a second I imagine he is going to confess that he feels the same way, too. Maybe he will and if I had only told him sooner…
“Who is it? You can trust me. I won’t tell anyone. I just want to know who to keep an eye on. I don’t believe that you could go after a guy who is married or in relationship, so whichever one it is, he’s got to be at least a little guilty.”
My hand is tingling and sweating at the same time. I pull it back and grab my beer again, just to have something to do with my hands.
“No, I swear. He…no one has done anything wrong. It’s all me. I mean, I haven’t actually done anything, but being with him is just too hard for me, and I know it can’t ever be.”
“Zoe, honey…it’s always hard to be around someone you care about when you know those feelings can’t go any further, but it means so much to me to have you in the band.”
Oh my God, he knows it’s him.
He leans forward and pulls me into a hug, rubbing my back. “Now please tell me which one it is because you’re just like a little sister to me, and none of these guys would be good enough for you, even if they were single. Maybe Jon.”
I don’t know if he feels me stiffen, or if he’s looking for my facial expression to give away my secret. A little sister.
“It’s Rob.”
Rob has only recently started dating Diamond, and they don’t have children together, like the rest of the band members. And no one likes Diamond. He’s the least terrible choice.
“Really? Rob? Wow, I would have pegged you for being more into the sensitive guys. Like Jon. Or even me.” He laughs and I avert my eyes.
“Zoe, are you telling me the truth?” He narrows his eyes. I must do a better job of lying than I did when I put my mother’s lipstick on Fluffy.
“Yes.” I jump up and search for a place to dispose of my empty beer bottle, as if recycling suddenly became more important than my love crisis.
He continues to watch me, waiting for a more substantial answer.
“Yes, it’s Rob. We used to spend a lot of time together before Diamond came along. We were the two single band members. We even live near each other, in our respective crappy studio apartments.”
This is all true, except for the fact that I have never been interested in Rob.
“Wow, I guess that does make sense. But he’s only been dating Diamond for a short while. It’s not like telling him how you feel would be such an awful thing to do. Just a few weeks ago Diamond was hitting on me hard. She’s not some pure, innocent little flower. Why don’t you just tell him how you feel? I am not going to lose such a phenomenal singer because of a crush on a band member.”
I can see he’s getting frustrated. He isn’t getting anywhere with his agenda and now I am rethinking the plan. I can’t quit the band. Then I will never see Brandon. But I shouldn’t want to see him. Maybe Axl is the answer.
I walk back over to the couch. “Look, you’re probably right. About the band, but I’m not telling Rob how I feel. It’s a silly crush. I should never have told you.”
“You have a crush on Rob?” Claire is standing at the bottom of the steps, covering her mouth.
Fucking fuck.
“Claire, where did you come from?”
Claire folds her arms and addresses her husband. “I came downstairs to tell you I’m home. I didn’t know Zoe was down here.”
“You didn’t see her car?” Brandon fires back at his annoyed wife, and now I am in the middle of exactly what I want to avoid. My car isn’t outside, but I don’t want to tell Brandon who dropped me off.
Watching them stare each other down, and feeling the tension makes me positive that I have to find a way to let this go. If there is drama caused by Claire interrupting our conversation, I don’t even want to think about what would happen if Brandon did return my feelings…and they split up. And he doesn’t. I’m another little sister to him.
“Hey, guys it’s okay. Please don’t argue on my account. Claire, yes I was telling Brandon that I had a crush on Rob, and I was considering quitting the band, but now that he’s dating Diamond, I’m fine. I was telling Brandon about my night with Axl. Pretty wild. Brandon and I are just like girlfriends. I tell him everything.”
She purses her lips and tries to smile.
Brandon is staring at me with his mouth slightly hanging open, and finally shuts it before he says, “Yeah, Zoe and Axl are a hot item now. And I told her—good call on Rob. He’s a good guy, but not ‘dating my little sister’ kind of nice.”
Claire exhales and smiles more genuinely, now that Brandon has confirmed my place in his life, and my affections are now properly explained.
“Well, that sounds promising, Zoe. So I guess your new guy dropped you off. Anyway, I will let you guys get back to your…rehearsing? Or whatever.”
She starts walking back up the stairs and stops. “Oh, so I guess you wouldn’t be interested in meeting the guy I told you about? From the market?”
“No, thanks. I have what I want.”
She smiles and walks back up to the kitchen, closing the door behind her.
“Why did you lie?”
“I didn’t lie. I did spend the night with Axl. But he didn’t drop me off. Rob did. Love lives can be complicated, big brother.”
I use the term as a double meaning—one to zing him for his ‘sister’ comment, and the other to indicate his tendency to interfere in my life.
Brandon runs his fingers through his hair, which is his favorite nervous habit. “Fair enough. You’re a big girl. I just hope you know what you’re doing. So you’re not quitting the band?”
“No, I’ll stay. But you could have asked Claire to take my place. Didn’t that guy she works with say she was a great singer?”
Brandon squirms at the reference to Justin, Claire’s young and gorgeous co-worker. Last month they went on a business trip together, and Justin convinced her to sing karaoke with him. She now thinks she’s a great singer.
“Justin is an asshole. He was just trying to get in her pants on that trip. I heard her. She can carry a tune, but karaoke isn’t really singing, Zoe.”
“Justin seems to think she was good. Doesn’t he have a new girlfriend now?”
“Yes he does, but she’s a Claire clone. Just a younger version with bigger…anyway, I’m glad you’re staying.”
“Thanks.” I grab my coat off the couch and say, “I need to get going.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yep. You?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think I’m the only one who has a complicated love life. See ya at practice tomorrow night.”
I just wonder when he is going to see his own complication, but I’m not going to be a part of it. He had his chance.
I walk out the front door, sayi
ng cheerful goodbyes to Mrs. McDonald and all the little ones. As I hit the street the lack of transportation suddenly slaps me in the face, and ruins my dramatic exit. I am not going back inside and asking Brandon to bring me home. I could call Axl, but I would rather he not know I was here.
As I ponder my options, Diamond pokes her head out her front door.
“Zoe, what are doing? Rob told me he dropped you off. Is something wrong?”
Hoping Brandon is not peeking out the basement window, I head over to her house.
“Well, actually I kind of stranded myself.”
“What? Brandon’s not driving you home. I’m gonna call that—”
“No, please don’t, Diamond.”
She eyes me quizzically and licks her big, pouty lips.
“Okay, you don’t have to tell me. That Brandon can be a little bitch at times. Between you and me, I am SO glad he rejected my advances. I am much better off with Rob. He was telling me you were having some fun with your boss?”
“Yeah, a little bit. I guess I need to call him to come get me.”
“Nonsense. You don’t want your new guy knowing that you were at Brandon’s during the day.”
“But we were just rehearsing.”
“Sure you were, Sweetie. And I was just babysitting when I left my panties in their bed.”
She starts laughing, and squeezes my arm. “I’m sorry. I know you would never stoop to my level. But I see things. That’s all I’m going to say. I’m sure your tattoo guy is also a lot hotter than Brandon. Now come inside and tell us all about him. Rob can bring you home later.”
I agree, but turn back before entering her house. Brandon is on the front porch.
Big brother is watching, but I am not worried about what he sees. Maybe the gossip will help him smooth things over with Claire.
Diamond is right. I may not be like her, but I’m not like Claire, either.
Figuring out exactly who I am is my next mission. Sleeping with my boss may not be any better than sleeping with my band’s leader. Of course, at least Axl is single and available.
Either way, one thing I know for sure. I am not quitting anything I love doing for a man.
Little sister, my ass.
THE END
About the Author
My name is Carol, and I’m addicted to Romance.
I grew up in the Hudson Valley area of New York, surrounded by “city folk,” like my Manhattanite mom and Bronx-native Dad, who taught me to be sweet on the outside, yet tough on the inside.
As a result, I’m often gifted sassy labels like “firecracker” or “feisty,” which I choose to take as a compliment, due to my Irish/Eastern European heritage.
My romantic history is as real (and complicated) as that of the heroines in my novels. I’ve been divorced, relocated, plunged fearlessly into the turbulent waters of online dating—only to retreat, yelping, at the occasionally shocking climate before bravely renewing my efforts—until finally, I grabbed hold of happiness and refused to let go.
While I did eventually find my “HEA” in the form of a real life relationship, I also fell in love with writing, and it’s a romance I can’t get enough of.
That’s why I can’t help chasing after that thrill of first love, of never-ending passion, of self-discovery, of romance—even if that chase leads me to (and sometimes over) the edge.
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