Where We Belong: Love Returns

by Melissa Tereze

  “It’s an incredible secret to have.” I smile, my body relaxing for the first time since we left our apartment. “Why did you bring me here?” I ask. “I-If it’s your secret?”

  “Because I don’t want to have any secrets from you.” Olivia leans in, her hand cupping my face. “I’ll never have any secrets.”

  “That’s sweet.” My eyes close as I lean into my girlfriend’s touch.

  “I know you have something on your mind.”

  “Not now,” I whisper. “Please…”

  “Sit down.” Olivia guides me towards a flat spot close to the cliff's edge. “Take five with me.”

  “Okay.” I drop down and make myself comfortable.

  “I know yesterday threw you a little but you really have nothing to be worried about.” She squeezes my hand. “Nadia could never compare to you, Mati. I need you to know that.”

  “I just didn’t expect her to confess all of that stuff.”

  “I didn’t, either.” Olivia studies my face, trying to get a read on me. “Even though she said what she did, it doesn’t change anything for me. I still want everything with you.”

  “How can you be so sure when you haven’t had a moment to process it?”

  “Because there is nothing to process.” My girlfriend shrugs. “I know exactly what I want, and if this trip has confirmed anything for me…it is the unconditional love I have for you. The love I’ve always had for you. The love I lost but regained, tenfold.”

  “I just don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything, Liv.” I hate that I’m doing this but my girlfriend clearly wants to have the discussion I’ve been trying to avoid. “You know how much I love you but I would never expect you to stay with me if it wasn’t what you wanted.”

  “I do want it.” She says, her voice holding nothing but honesty and certainty. “I want it now more than ever before.”

  “Yeah?” I glance up at Olivia, tears in my eyes. “You don’t want Nadia and Spain?”

  “No, I want you and I want London.” She gives me a full, heart-warming smile. “God, I want you so much that it hurts.”

  “You know…” A smile curls on my lips. “The day you returned, I sat outside a coffee shop making plans with Ana. I told myself I didn’t need you. I told myself that you had moved on, found someone better.” I lift Olivia’s hand and press a kiss to her skin. “I told myself that London would one day mean everything to me, but I was lying to myself. I had been since the day I stepped off the plane.”

  “Ana…”

  “She was never going to be you.” I shake my head slightly. “She was never going to replace what I had with you, what I’d always imagined our life together would be.”

  “Feels good to hear you say that…”

  “There was a reason I never went any further with her. There was a reason I walked around London daily, wondering if you would just appear in front of me.”

  “Yeah?” Olivia’s smile widens.

  “I guess in my heart I always knew, or hoped, that you would come back to me.”

  “It was all I wanted, Mati.”

  “I know.” I nod. “I knew it from the moment you being here felt real. Once I’d processed what was happening. What my life was about to become.”

  “This is real.” Olivia leans in, her lips ghosting over my own. “This is the most real we have ever felt, Mati.”

  “I-I know.” My breath catches. “You mean the world to me.”

  Trailing the curve of her jawline with my thumb, my girlfriend doesn’t take her eyes off me. I don’t know when my life got going again, but it has and I’m here for the duration. I know Olivia doesn’t need anyone else to complete her. I know, because I can see it in her eyes. How she looks at me over dinner. I feel it in her touch. A touch that often leaves me breathless, desperate for more.

  “I’m going to make us happy, Mati.” Olivia’s forehead rests against my own. “I’m going to make us so unbelievably happy.”

  “You already do that by being in my life,” I whisper, a light breeze whipping around us. “Don’t ever change who you are…you’re perfect.”

  “This feels good.” My girlfriend glances out at the vast expanse of ocean. “It feels good saying goodbye here…”

  “You don’t ever have to say goodbye to your mom, Liv.”

  “I know.” She pulls her knees up to her chest. “But my life is about to change all over again and I feel like mom would be proud of me. I feel like she would want me to be here with you and letting go of the anger inside of me.”

  “I do miss her, Liv.” My head rests on my girlfriend’s shoulder. “She was a huge part of our lives.”

  “She always will be in some way…” Olivia sighs, her hand settling on my own. “She isn’t far away.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.”

  ***

  I could watch Olivia for the rest of my life. Her body language. Her quirks. I could watch her and it would never cease to amaze me. She’s an absolute beauty, but her personality is what I’m attracted to most. How she opens up around me, it’s the biggest turn on.

  I've never seen this side of her, to be honest. The vulnerable side. The side that is locked away. Hidden from everyone and anyone. She was always just so sure of herself but these few weeks we’ve spent together have shown me that she isn’t the tough one. She isn’t a woman who doesn’t let the world and her worries phase her. She is broken at times, just like everybody else. She needs support, too.

  Perhaps I should’ve made it clear that I could be that person for her when I was back in Chicago. You know, just given her the heads up. I guess I never felt it was needed. I never felt like she would one day crumble, but I also didn’t expect her to lose her mom back in LA.

  I know everyone is vulnerable and everyone needs someone at times, but Olivia always had it so together that I was jealous. I was jealous of just how perfect she was, or seemed. Of course, it isn’t possible for a person to be completely perfect but to me, she was. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman. A girlfriend. A life partner. She was everything and then some.

  Looking back though, I guess I was foolish to think that she didn’t need someone. Did my lack of support cause Olivia to grieve alone? Did she think I couldn’t handle it? I don’t believe that is how she feels, but at times, her mom’s death plays on my mind. That image of my girlfriend sitting alone, heartbroken. That image will be forever burned into my mind but I need it to not affect me. It wouldn’t be beneficial to our relationship and I will only send myself insane.

  “What’s the plan when we arrive home?”

  “Home, huh?” My stomach fluttering at the thought of home with Olivia, I shift closer to her and study the flight departure board. “What do you want the plan to be?”

  “So long as I’m with you, I don’t really care.”

  “Well, I still have a few days off from work…”

  “Are you telling me I have you to myself for a little longer?” Olivia’s hand settles on my thigh. “Or do I have to fight Beth for your attention?”

  “Ah…” My smile widens. “I have a little surprise for you.”

  “A surprise?” Olivia narrows her eyes, her tone questioning. “What kind of surprise?”

  “She’s leaving…”

  “Beth?” Olivia asks and I simply nod. “Well, I know that.”

  “No, she’s leaving…when we return.”

  “You’re lying.” My girlfriend studies my face. “You just want me to cancel my hotel.”

  “You’re right, I do want you to cancel your hotel.” I agree. “But I’m not lying, I can assure you.”

  “Why is she leaving, Mati?” Olivia’s features change. “Because of me?”

  “No, not at all.” I furrow my brow. “The morning we were leaving for Spain, she told me she had found a place.”

  “Are you sure she was always planning to leave? I just…I feel like I’ve stepped in too soon.”

  “I promise you.” I grip her jaw gently. “Wo
uld I ever lie to you?”

  “N-No.” Olivia drops her gaze between us. “No, you wouldn’t.”

  “And I never will…” My lips press gently against her own. “Now, how about that room cancellation?”

  “Consider it done.” She smirks against my mouth. “God…”

  “What?” I pull back.

  “You’re amazing.” Olivia’s voice breaks. “Amazing and mine.”

  “Sounds pretty good when you say it like that.” My head settles against my girlfriend’s chest. “But we’re a team, Liv. We do all of this together.”

  “I lost you…” Her emotions get the better of her. “I lost you but I’m sitting here with you right now.”

  “I know, baby.” My hand slips up Olivia’s shirt, settling gently against her lower stomach. “And I lost you, too.” I glance up, my eyes focusing on those deep brown pools I’ve loved since the day I met this woman. “But you were right, back at the cliff.”

  “About what?”

  “The love we have regained.” I smile. “I feel it stronger than ever, too. I feel it so much, Liv.”

  “When we get home, I’m making you dinner.” She says, her voice filled with emotion. “And I’m taking back everything that we once were.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I don’t ever want to spend another minute without you, Mati.” She presses a kiss to my forehead. “I don’t ever want to imagine my life without you in it ever again.”

  “Thank you…” My eyes close, a smile curling on my lips. “For coming home.”