by Ashley Erin
“My brain is so fucked up over this. I need to clear my mind.” Ava gives me a hug and looks at me with empathy.
“I’ve never seen you so caught up in someone before. Four years ago you would have said fuck it and moved on. Your answer is right there, don’t be a pussy and take a leap.” With a condescending pat on the head, she leaves me in the laundry room.
Shaking off the day and my convoluted thoughts. “Ready or not, here I come.” Yelling down the hall, I hear Noah giggle and scurry somewhere. I can think about Andie and her secrets later.
Collapsing on the couch after tucking Noah in, I look at Ava in admiration. “I don’t know how you do that full time. He is a handful. I forget how much work he is.” My head is pounding and I’m exhausted. After hide and seek Noah wanted to read and play outside and play airplane and on and on and on.
Ava grins at me. “He’s a bit more of a handful when you are here. The excitement and all that. I’m used to it by now, I know how not to rile him up.” Gazing at Ava, I can’t help but notice how much she has matured. It’s just dawning on me that I don’t give her enough credit, she completed high school despite having an infant. She is a wonderful mom and the pride she takes in Noah’s accomplishments are apparent.
“Well, you are an excellent mom. I’m proud of you sis. Since I’m here you can have a break. Anything I can do to help, you know I’m there. I know I haven’t been around since school started, I’m really sorry. I plan on visiting and helping more.” Guilt has been gnawing at me all day when I realized I haven’t been a good brother or Uncle. The fact that it has been weeks since I’ve seen either of them is horrible and it goes to show how much of my energy has been wrapped up in Andie. This is what I worried about from the start, but the idea of not spending time with her makes me feel sick to my stomach.
“Lucas!” Snapping my head up as Ava yells my name. “Geez where did you go?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry, I’m listening.”
“Lucas, I appreciate all you’ve done for me and Noah. I love having you spend time with us and we would love to see you more, but it’s time for you to live your life. I don’t need your help anymore, I’m glad for it sometimes as any parent is, but I’m not 16 years old. I’ve been parenting for four years and things are good. Maybe I relied on you too much when Noah was a baby, maybe I still do on occasion and it makes you feel that we need to be your top priority. I’m sorry if that’s the fact. It’s time to make your life your top priority. If Andie makes you happy, focus on that.” Her words are echoing in my head and I feel like I’m falling.
“Wait, you don’t need me?” Hurt resonates in my voice and she cringes.
“I will always need you big brother. I love you and you’re important to me. What I’m saying is to focus on your life, that needs to be your main priority, not us. Sometimes I think you use Noah and I as an excuse not to live your life and I won’t let you do that anymore.” As her words sink in I start looking at Ava a little more clearly.
Confidence radiates from her when she talks about being a mom. In fact, aside from when Joe has let her down, she rarely calls me for anything, I’m usually the one calling her. How did I not see this? How was I so blind? My life has revolved around her and Noah for so long have I lost myself entirely in them? Fuck me, am I distancing myself from Andie because I’m a fucking pussy? That’s really the only reason, because I’m too damn scared to leap into such a high level of attraction. Andie isn’t a for now kind of girl and the more time I spend with her the more I realize that I’m more okay with that then I thought possible.
Standing up abruptly, I book it for the stairs. “I need to think.” Ava calls for me as I take the stairs two at a time, but I ignore her. Thoughts swirl through my mind faster than I can process them, almost like they are being sucked into a black hole.
Dropping onto my bed, I lay down and examine my room. Remnants of who I was before Ava got pregnant still remain in the dark recesses. My condom stash is tucked away in the back of my closet and somewhere there is a list of go to girls who were always up for a good time. My apartment at school has none of this shit, but I never cleared out my room here.
Standing back up, I decide it’s time to erase those remnants. Cleaning my room, the thoughts continue to swirl around, a tornado determined to cause chaos in my head.
Going back to one night stands or fuck buddies is not something that holds any interest for me. I’ve had a reality check on how to treat women and I couldn’t do that. Prior to someone hurting my sister, it never crossed my mind, how that works is beyond me, but I’m 22 and not 18 so I guess four years makes a difference. Not to mention I couldn’t do that to Andie, she is worth more than being a fuck buddy, she is girlfriend material and I seem to have forgotten that we established she was my girlfriend now.
Hanging my head in shame, I can’t believe I am acting like such an asshole. Ava is right, I was hiding behind her and Noah, scared to live my own life. I was clinging to them so I wouldn’t have to think about what I wanted for myself.
Andie has managed to shift my focus without me even fully realizing it and when she pulled away it hit me like a damn truck. The need for her to trust me and the knowledge that she doesn’t yet hurt and it scares me that someone has the potential to hurt me that way. Family and school are easy, relationships are not, which is why I’ve avoided them.
“Fucking man up dude.” The words echo in my room and in my head I see a picture of Andie looking at me. She has said she wants to trust me and I believe her. How can she when I have yet to prove myself? She is worth the time and effort, not everything worthwhile is easy and flawless. Sometimes the most meaningful people of journeys take time, effort and patience. Andie has managed to wedge her way in and I want her to stay there. It’s time I focus on changing my life and thinking of what I want. Looking at the alarm clock on my nightstand, 10:30 p.m. I will get there by midnight if I drive responsibly. Fuck that I have a fast car for a reason.
Ava jumps up off the couch as I come storming back downstairs, jacket in hand. “Lucas, I’m sor . . .”
Kissing her forehead and giving her a hug, “No, you’re right. I’ve been hiding behind you and Noah for too long. It’s time to change that. Give Noah a kiss for me.” She grins with pride as I throw on my shoes.
“I always like to hear when I’m right.” As I open the door, she stops me. “What about your clothes?”
“I can grab them another time. Some things are more important.” With that I race to my car and peel out the driveway.
Spitting out the toothpaste and rinsing my mouth, I straighten and let out a yelp when I see Dax’s reflection in the mirror. “Holy shit dude, you fucking scared me. Creeper much?” He grins at me shamelessly as I finish getting ready for bed.
“There is someone at the door for you.” He winks at me and then turns and goes back to the couch. What the hell? Dax is clearly not worried so I make my way to the door, curiosity making me forget I’m in my ratty t-shirt and pajama shorts.
Rounding the corner from the hall to our tiny entry way, I halt in my tracks when I see Lucas standing there. His hair is messy, like he has been running his fingers through it and when I meet his eyes the smoldering look in them has my heart pounding.
“Lucas.” My voice is raspy from the shock at seeing him in my doorway, I thought he was spending the weekend with his sister. He doesn’t say anything as he stalks over to where I’ve stopped in surprise and pulls me into his arms, crushing his lips onto mine. Opening as his tongue traces my lips, my arms wrap around his neck as he deepens the kiss.
“Get a fucking room before I end up gouging my eyes out from seeing you fuck in the hall.” Dax’s voice rings out and Lucas lifts his head up never removing his gaze from mine. He intertwines our fingers and pulls me into the hall, slamming my door behind him.
His lips meet mine again after he’s unlocked his door and he lifts me from the ground never breaking our connection. In the haze of my mind I briefly
wonder if we should talk about the fact that he was acting weird before he left, avoiding me and then disappearing after we chatted this morning, but before I break away from his kiss he pushes his hips into mine and all thoughts are wiped away as I moan at the friction.
Lucas lowers me down and my eyes open expecting to be on the couch, instead I’m centered in his bed and he is looking at me with lust filled eyes. He moves away from me, chuckling when I reach for him, and pulls his shirt over his head. Hungrily I devour him with my eyes, his abs rippling as he crawls back towards me.
“You are so beautiful.” He whispers, his deep voice intense as he begins kissing me deeply again. My hands have a mind of their own as they explore each muscle in his stomach and move to wrap around his back. He is so strong and sure, for a fleeting second my thoughts worry about whether I will be good enough, but then he rolls his hips into mine and nip at that sensitive spot under my ear and those thoughts disappear as my mind blanks and I’m lost in the way Lucas makes me feel.
Lucas pulls himself back and grips the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head as I sit up. I’m not wearing a bra and I flush at the intensity of his gaze as he consumes me. My skin tingles as he wraps one hand in my hair and lowers his lips to one of my breasts, gingerly licking the nipple into a peak before wrapping his lips around it and sucking. My back arches at the sensation as he moves to the other nipple and repeats the action, his free hand holding his weight so he can move easily. Little moans sound from the back of my throat, his eyes are intense and dark as he stares into mine. My lips ache deliciously from the passion of his kisses, but they are cold without his. I need more. Hands in his hair, I tug on the strands gently and I close the distance between us.
Heat fills me as his chest brushes mine, our hips moving together and my core is so wet, my panties are soaked. Pulling away from him, I meet his questioning gaze and in a move of boldness that surprises me, I remove the rest of my clothing, before bravely bringing my hands to the button on his jeans.
Lucas grasps my hands and pins them at my side, giving me a look that tells me if I move them there will be hell to pay. He trails his lips down my stomach, his hands rubbing my thighs before moving them apart. As his fingers glide over my core and stroke my clit, my hips jump at the sensation, tingles and heat spreading through my body.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think foreplay could be so enjoyable. My body moves with a mind of its own and my head is fuzzy with desire, awe and something I can’t quite figure out.
He continues to gently move his fingers over me, I’m shuddering and wet as he teases me, before sliding a single finger into me. Moans erupt from me as he moves the finger out and then two back in, hooking his fingers rapidly.
“You’re so wet, so beautiful. I bet you taste sweet.” His mouth descends on me before I can take a breath, his tongue teasing me before moving to my clit and sucking.
Shuddering as he groans, I thrust my hips against him. My body aches with the sensations, never before have I ever felt such intense pleasure. Lucas thrusts two fingers inside me, making that rapid hooking motion and sucking on my clit causing me to explode in pleasure, ears ringing, eyes blurring with its intensity. Hands gripping his duvet cover, body writhing at the sensations coursing through my body. “Mmmm you do taste sweet.” Lucas pulls himself up to where my head is, kissing my neck as he lays on his elbow beside me.
Hands shaking, I clumsily undo his button and pull the zipper down, gasping as his erection springs free. Fuck he is going commando and it’s fucking hot! Heart fluttering as he pulls his jeans off the rest of the way, he is so big and that intimidates me. Swallowing nervously, I lift my eyes to his chest and try taking some deep breaths.
Lucas lowers his body the rest of the way so it’s flush with mine, and I meet his gaze. His eyes are warm and affectionate, lost in his blue eyes my apprehension dissipates. I feel safe with him and I want him more than I could have ever imagined.
Without breaking the hold of his gaze, I grasp his cock in my hand and slide my hand up and down before teasing the tip. Beads of moisture form and for the first time I want to try something. I slide down and wrap my lips around the head of his erection, licking the tip before taking as much as I can in my mouth and sucking. Before I can worry that I’m not doing it right his hands wrap in my hair and he groans as I tease him with my tongue.
“Andie . . .” He moans. Hands move to my sides and he pulls me up beside him, crushing his lips to mine. “I need to be inside you.” Rolling a condom on, he lifts himself over me, his eyes never leaving mine. Biting my lip as he presses into me slowly, allowing my body to adjust to his size, my heart pounds with the overwhelming sensations.
Moaning in unison, I move my hips into his and my body clenches in pleasure. Lucas pulls back and thrusts into me, picking up the pace as sweat beads on his forehead. Staring into his eyes, my body vibrates in pleasure as he drives into me, grinding our hips together.
He brushes a loose strand of hair away from my face, his face adoring and I can’t think of any time I’ve ever felt so cherished. He lowers down, pressing his body into mine even more, lips devouring mine as we move together.
Shaking as I clench around him, I cry out as every nerve in my body is overwhelmed with feeling and tightening with the orgasm raging through me. Lucas tenses as he pushes into me and moans as he finds his release. He collapses next to me and pulls me into his arms, kissing my lips tenderly, stroking my back and squeezing me tightly before getting up and going into the hall.
Water runs in the washroom and as I listen, waiting for him to return, panic slowly builds. Being with Lucas was amazing, it far surpasses my first and only other time of having sex. While I know things are different with Lucas, I can’t control the fear that is coursing through my body, I try to fight it, but I can feel my throat drying and my body quaking as I wait. Will Lucas ask me to leave when he comes back in, will he be disappointed in me like Kyle was?
Lucas comes back into the room, relaxed and looking devastatingly handsome. In his hand is a wash cloth which he gently wipes between my legs before tossing it on the floor and lays next to me. Frown lines appear on his forehead as he looks at me, observing how tense I am.
“Fuck, did I hurt you? I can’t believe it, I got carried away.” The self-loathing in his voice snaps me out of my panicked state.
“No, you didn’t hurt me, it was amazing. I didn’t know sex could be so enjoyable.” He relaxes a bit, but the frown remains as he realizes I’m still tense and not in the blissful state he is. Lucas lays on his side and pulls me around to face him, kissing me on the lips and wrapping his arms around me.
“It was incredible.” His blue eyes are swirling with emotions, but I don’t see disgust or disappointment, my body relaxes into his arms as I breathe a sigh of relief before going to pull away. “What do you think you’re doing?” His arms tighten around me, rendering me immobile.
“Don’t you want me to leave?”
Lucas’s jaw clenches at my question and I’m confused as to why he is angry. “No, I don’t want you to leave. You’re sleeping here tonight, in my arms. Don’t fucking tell me that whoever you had sex with before made you leave?” Rage drips from his question and I cower a bit at the tone.
He softens his grip on me and looks at me, shifting his voice to be gentler. “Andie?” Words aren’t forming, so I simply nod and bury my face into his shoulder. He tightens his hold on me again, before sliding a finger under my chin and lifting my head lightly to look in his eyes. “That’s not going to happen with me. That guy was a douche bag and it’s his loss.” Kissing me softly, he tucks me back into his arms and we doze off together.
Groaning as a firm, round ass wiggles against my morning hard-on, my hands grip the smooth skin of Andie’s hips in an effort to refrain myself from pushing into her pussy. As her ass grinds against me again, I can feel she is wet and ready for me. Fuck this is testing my restraint.
“Mmmmm.” She mumbles sleepily and rolls ove
r in my arms. Her lips caress my collarbone and it’s one of the most erotic teases I’ve ever experienced. Who knew the collar bone was an erogenous zone? Reaching behind me, I grab a condom from my nightstand and sheath myself before rolling onto my back, pulling her on top of me. Her sleepy gaze widens and I know she has never been in this position before.
I pull her down onto my cock hard and she gasps and moans at the same time, the friction and her tightness almost making me come like a teenager having sex for the first time. Gritting my teeth, I try to regain control of myself. Andie starts moving her hips, rolling them and pushing down on me hard, she says she doesn’t have a lot of experience, but fuck does she ever know how to push me over the edge.
Her hair falls around her shoulders, her eyes hooded as she moves on top of me. She leans down onto her elbows, her head buried into my neck. I let her have full control, I want her to experience the sensation of knowing I’m at her mercy.
As she pushes herself back up, I have to admit the view is spectacular. Everything about her body is gorgeous and I love watching her take control of her own pleasure. Her eyes lock on mine, full of passion.
Andie starts moving faster and she is clenching around me hard. She cries out as she rides me and I push my hips up to meet her, chuckling when she calls out my name and blushes a deep crimson red. As she pulses around me I thrust into her fast and hard, chasing my own satisfaction. Growling as I release hard and fast, I pull her down and kiss her deeply.
“Good morning beautiful.” She smiles at me, the blush still pink on her cheeks.
“Morning.” Her voice is low and raspy from just waking up and being thoroughly fucked. It’s sexy as hell and if I didn’t need some time to recharge I would be on top of her.
“I need coffee, do you want some?” Andie nods and I roll out of bed, grinning like a fool when her eyes are glued to my ass and she bites her lip in that sexy way, it’s unconscious on her part and yet so vastly different from when she nervously chews on the same lip. I’ve seen so many women try to pull the lip biting routine, but when it’s intentional it’s just not as sexy. Scrounging through the clothes on my floor, I finally find my sweats and pull them on.
