Ethan (Face-Off Book 5)

by Jillian Quinn

  He closes his eyes and sighs. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry for being an asshole or sorry because you won’t tell me?”

  He opens his eyes. They hold so much sadness that tears well up in my bottom lids.

  “For being an asshole.”

  “Please, E.”

  He grazes my cheek with his thumb and catches a fallen tear. “I’m sorry, Mia. For everything. I didn’t want to leave you behind. But I didn’t have a choice. My dad forced me to go back to Boston.”

  “Was your grandmother ever sick, or was that another lie?”

  “A lie,” he admits. “I lived with my grandmother, but she wasn’t sick.”

  I grip his shirt between my fingers and pull him close enough that our lips almost touch. “Why did you leave? I want to know everything or—”

  He brushes his lips against mine. “Or what?”

  The heat from his breath hardens my nipples, the tiny buds aching for his mouth, his hands, begging to be touched. I’m powerless when it comes to Ethan. And he knows it.

  “Or we can’t do this anymore,” I counter.

  He sweeps his tongue across my bottom lip. “Give me what I want, and I’ll give you what you want.”

  His husky voice sends chills down my spine. “What do you want?” I play dumb, and that earns me a cocky smirk.

  “Get on your knees,” he orders. “Take out my cock.”

  I shake my head. “No, talk to me first.”

  A few seconds tick by before he says, “I had an addiction. That’s how I know Connor. He was my dealer. The hospital prescribed painkillers to dull the pain from the accident. I was so fucked-up in the head after Erik died…” his voice trails off, and when I peek up at him, his eyes are closed.

  He leans forward and presses his left hand to the wall with his gaze fixed on me. “I was addicted to opiates. Anything I could get my hands on. That’s why my dad moved us here. He thought it would help me get my act together. But I sought out the stoners at school. They hooked me up with Connor, who was just a street dealer back then.”

  Ethan was on drugs. My Ethan.

  What does his addiction have to do with him running away without saying goodbye?

  “Back in Boston…” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers “… I went through a detox program, one that no one ever found out about.”

  “Thanks for telling me. Your secret is safe with me.” I move my hand over my heart. “I promise.”

  He kisses my forehead and then grazes my cheek with his thumb. “I know. But this also means you can’t write a story about it. If Connor ever found out that you had anything to do with it, he would expose me and kill you. They’re not the kind of people you want to fuck with. Understood?”

  “But the story could make my career.”

  “It would ruin mine and get you killed,” he spits back. “I’m not into that shit anymore. I got clean a long time ago.” He bites the inside of his cheek, his nerves showing. “My career isn’t my biggest concern… it’s you and your safety. Those men are dangerous, Mia. A little lamb like you, so gentle and pure, doesn’t stand a chance against wolves like them.”

  He’s right.

  I nod. “I’ll back off. For you. For us.”

  “Thank you.” Ethan kisses me. “It’s hard enough taking care of you without any complications. You’re so stubborn, Mia.”

  I peek up at him and a smile. “It’s part of my charm.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Ethan

  Fast asleep, Mia rolls over and onto my chest. I sit up, with my back against the headboard, and hook my arm around her. Moving a strand of blonde hair away from her face, I smile.

  I told Mia about Erik, the accident, and now my past addiction.

  And the world didn’t end.

  Nothing happened.

  Curling up next to Mia, I stroke her hair as I watch her breathe. This simple gesture produces a feeling in the pit of my stomach, an ache that burns like acid. I bared myself to Mia, something I’ve never done with any woman.

  Fighting exhaustion, my eyes flutter. Much like the darkness, sleep wins out, my eyes closing as I dream of Mia.

  Thump, thump, thump. The sound wakes me from my slumber. When I open my eyes, the first thing I see is… Will. Fuck. He’s hovering over my side of the bed with his hand on the headboard. Will’s the cause of the noise.

  I rub my eyes and sit up. “What are you doing?”

  He grinds his teeth together, his face twisted in anger. “I should ask you the same thing, seeing as you’re in my sister’s bed, and both of you are naked.”

  Mia pulls the sheet up to her chin, leaving me with nothing to cover myself. Not like I care about me.

  She pushes out her palm, her eyes wide with surprise. “Will, don’t freak out, okay? Just give us a second to explain.”

  “Explain what? How you two are sneaking around with each other behind my back?” He folds his arms over his chest, his jaw clenched. “Yeah, I would love to hear how my best friend ended up in my little sister’s bed.” Will sits at the edge of the bed, his weight dipping the mattress on my side. “I’m sure it’s a great fucking story. Let’s hear it.”

  Mia lets out an exaggerated groan, blowing hair in her face. “Don’t be an ass, Will. Please. It’s too early in the morning to get into a fight.”

  “How long has this been going on?” Will looks at me and shakes his head. “I flat out asked you if you liked my sister, and you said no, even though I knew you were fucking lying to my face. Of all people, I trusted you the most with Mia.”

  Shifting my weight, I roll over to grab my boxer briefs and swing my feet off the side of the bed to slip into them. I’d rather not argue with Will naked.

  “I never intended for anything to happen with us,” I admit. “It just did.”

  Will covers his face with his hands and sighs. “I don’t even know what to say. To either of you.”

  “At least he’s not some random guy I picked up at a bar,” Mia says. “I’ve known Ethan for years. I don’t see why it’s such a big deal.”

  “Because you were fucking him behind my back! My best fucking friend. My little sister. What the actual fuck?” He gets up from the bed in a fit of rage and spins around to face us. “I can’t even look at either of you.”

  Will storms out of Mia’s bedroom, and I follow behind. “Will, c'mon, man. Let me explain. You know I would never hurt your sister.”

  In the kitchen, I lean against the countertop. Will grips the top of the refrigerator, staring at me with hatred in his eyes. We never fight. The few times we’ve gotten into it, we worked out our aggression with either a hockey stick or our fists.

  “How long has this been going on?” He crosses his arms over his chest, pinning me down with a heated look. “I want the truth.”

  “About three weeks. I kissed Mia the night we went to The Sixth Floor. You almost caught us together when you came home early. Mia was the reason I rented the room at the Ritz. I couldn’t stand living here with both of you, all while I wanted to be with your sister when I damn well knew I couldn’t have her.”

  “You’re not good enough for her.” His words burn like salt on an open wound.

  “I know. I tell Mia that all the time, but she doesn’t care. She wants to be with me anyway.”

  “Some of the things I’ve seen you do.” He shakes his head. “Things I did with you. Mia is not like us. She’s pure and innocent and…” He runs his hand through his hair. “Fuck! Why did you have to touch her? You have your pick of girls. You didn’t need to fuck my sister.” He closes his eyes for a second and wrinkles his nose in disgust.

  “I’ll take care of Mia. You know I will.”

  He blows out a puff of air. “Do you love her?”

  “What kind of question is that?”

  He closes the distances and shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. “Because you better not have ruined our friendship over pussy. You better fucking love her.�
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  “Will, you’re overreacting.”

  He moves into the small living room. “Don’t even bother coming back to the condo.”

  “I live there, dick.”

  “Lived,” he spits back. “You lived there. Past tense. Move the fuck out. Either you leave or I will. I don’t give a fuck.”

  Mia comes out from the bedroom barefoot and in a silky black robe tied at her waist. She makes a beeline for Will with her hands balled into fists at her sides. “Will, stop it. Please. Don’t be mad at Ethan. You’re not throwing out your best friend and teammate because of me. I’m a big girl. I decided to sleep with Ethan.”

  When it comes to Mia, Will softens but not much. She tugs at the more sensitive side of Will, something I’m unable to do. Both of us are arrogant hotheads who would rather beat the shit out of each to solve a problem. Mia is always the voice of reason. The one person who calms both of us.

  “Are you two serious?” Will grits his teeth as he awaits Mia’s response.

  Mia looks to me for confirmation. “Are we?”

  “You fucking prick,” Will shouts when I don’t answer right away. “You can’t even give her an answer.” He turns to Mia, scratching the stubble along his jaw. “Fuck him. You deserve so much better.”

  There’s no reasoning with Will when he’s like this, so I ignore him. Let him be mad. He’s still in shock.

  Mia takes Will’s hand in hers, forcing him to look at her. “Don’t talk to your best friend like that.” She strokes his skin with her fingers in an attempt to soothe him. “Nothing we say or do will change the fact that we’ve been sneaking around behind your back. I’m sorry.”

  “So am I,” I mutter. “I wanted to tell you, but I had no idea how you would react. Well, I knew you would be pissed, which is why I wanted to wait until we knew what we were doing.”

  He laughs. “Oh, so you thought you would fuck my sister until you grew tired of her, so you never have to come clean with me. Was that your plan, E?”

  “No, of course not. It’s not like that with Mia.”

  “You’re just another girl to him,” Will says to Mia. “Ethan doesn’t date. He fucks. This won’t end well for you, baby sis. I won’t be around every morning to bring you breakfast or rock you back to sleep when you need someone to mend your broken heart. And he definitely won’t be there for you.”

  Will’s acting like an asshole, but he’s a good brother. I would do the same if Mia were my sister.

  “He won’t break my heart,” Mia says. “Not again, not after last time.”

  “Mia, open your eyes. Do you see him fighting for you? No. He hasn’t said more than two words. This relationship is one-sided. I know you well enough to know that you’re in love with Ethan.”

  Mia pushes her hand to her hips. “You know nothing about our relationship, Will.”

  “Am I wrong? Are you… not in love with him? I can see it in your eyes when you look at him. You’ve looked at him this way for years.”

  “Yes!” Mia throws her hands in the air. “Yes, I’m in love with him. I’ve loved Ethan since I was in high school. What’s wrong with that?”

  Bile rises from the back of my throat. Mia loves me. A small part of me had always known that, but hearing the words aloud makes this real.

  She loves me.

  “I don’t want you to get hurt,” Will says, his tone softening.

  “Sleep on it, okay?” Mia squeezes his bicep. “Maybe spend some time apart from Ethan. Give it some time to process this before you throw Ethan out of your apartment. You guys are teammates, roommates, and best friends. Hear him out. Don’t dismiss him. If not for Ethan, then do it for me.”

  Will sucks in a deep breath and lets it out. “Fine. For you.” He levels me with his hardened gaze. “Meet me at Ollie’s tonight. I need to get out of here before I smash your fucking face in.”

  “I would deserve it,” I admit.

  “Yeah, you would, asshole.”

  Will kisses Mia on the top of her head. “I probably won’t stay here tonight. Don’t wait up for me.”

  She forces a smile. Then, he removes his keys from his pocket, slamming the door behind as he exits the apartment.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Mia

  So that just happened. Will caught me in bed with Ethan and naked, of all things. Fuck. I don’t even realize I’m biting my nails until Ethan comes up from behind me and wraps his arms around me. The warmth from his body instantly soothes me.

  “I’m sorry, Mia.” He whispers the words against the shell of my ear. “I should’ve manned up and told him sooner.”

  I look up at him, blinking a tear from my eye. “We made the decision together. At least Will knows now.”

  “I would’ve preferred to have the conversation with our clothes on. If I had a sister, I probably would’ve beat the shit out of Will for having sex with her. He has every right to be mad. I thought we would fight and get it over with, but the fact he left worries me.”

  “He didn’t mean what he said. He’d never throw you out of the apartment.”

  Ethan laughs. “I’d like to see him try. I own half of it.”

  “Ugh,” I grunt. “This feels like a bad divorce. My brother will forgive you. I know he will. Just give him some time. He’s like my dad. Once he blows off some steam, he’ll get over it and come to his senses.”

  “I’m not so sure about that. In all the years I’ve known Will, I’ve never seen him this mad.”

  “Will needs you just as much as you need him. Trust me. You’re as much his blood as I am. He considers you his brother.”

  “I guess that makes this even more fucked-up then, sis.” He laughs.

  I shake my head and chuckle. “Call me that again, and I’ll kick you in the balls.”

  “Hey, if you ever want kids, I would advise against it.”

  I stop laughing and still in his arms. “You want kids?”

  “Sure. Someday.”

  “With me? You said if I ever want kids.”

  He squeezes me tighter. “I guess I did.”

  “Do you mean that?”

  “I don’t say things I don’t mean. You should know that by now.”

  I spin around to face him. “What’s changed?”

  He shrugs. “Nothing. I’ve loved you since high school. Loving you is easy. I just wasn’t in love with you back then.”

  I raise a curious eyebrow at him. “But you are now?”

  A short pause passes between us.

  “Yes. I don’t know why I froze when Will asked me.” Ethan tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear and smiles. “I’ve never been in love before. Until you, my life was nothing but parties and women. And hockey. Will’s right, though. I’ve done a lot of fucked-up shit over the years. I don’t deserve you.”

  “You keep saying that, but I disagree.” I take his hand in mine and bring it to my mouth to plant a soft kiss. “You’re what I need, E. I’ve been in love with you, on and off, since I was fifteen. I’m even more in love with you now than I was back then. I spent a lot of years hating you, but underneath it all, I still loved you.”

  He moves his hand to my shoulder, his fingers slowly traveling up to my face. “I love you, too, Mia. My little lamb.”

  Ethan hooks his arm around my back, and his lips crash into mine. He kisses me with so much intensity and passion I have to grip his shoulders to maintain my balance, but Ethan is here to catch me. He always catches me, breathing his life force into me when I need him to bring me back to life. With Ethan, I feel alive, his hands lighting a fire everywhere he touches. Heat spreads down my arms, and with each stroke of his fingers, my skin burns with desire for him.

  The dream I once had of Ethan is now my reality. My heart swells with joy. Ethan loves me. My brother’s best friend was the last person in the world I wanted to fall in love with. But I did. I fell hard.

  Ethan explores every part of my body with his big hands. He squeezes my ass and lifts me up, pressing his erec
tion against me. I’m dripping wet for him, desperate for him to stop the aching between my thighs.

  He takes me into my bedroom and lowers me onto the mattress with care. He tugs at my robe, exposing my naked breasts to the cold air. The tiny buds were already painfully hard and even more so when Ethan rolls the pads of his thumbs over them.

  A soft moan escapes my lips.

  Ethan watches me intently. He’s all tongue and teeth, my nipple swelling in his mouth. My insides tighten with each flick of his tongue. Writhing beneath him, I close my eyes and claw at the sheets, the fabric twisted so tightly between my fingers my hands hurt.

  He stops long enough to remove his boxers and positions himself at my entrance. Instead of pushing himself inside me like a savage beast, he bends down to place his elbows on both sides of my head, slowly inching his way into me.

  This is so unlike Ethan.

  Every sexual encounter we’ve had, from our first kiss and on, was aggressive and fueled by our constant internal struggle to be together.

  Now, we’re both free.

  Slow and sensual, he makes love to me. Ethan loves me with his mouth and his cock as he slides in and out of me. We speak to each other in grunts and moans and consummate our love with each thrust as if we’re having sex for the first time.

  Ethan presses his lips to mine, stealing my last breath along with my orgasm. He kisses me hard but not too rough, his body convulsing as mine eases up. I tighten the hold I have around him, and he groans into my mouth.

  Our lips separate, but our foreheads are still touching.

  “My little lamb,” Ethan whispers.

  I brush my fingers along his cheek. “My big bad wolf.”

  His lips graze mine, the heat from his breath prickling my skin. We moan our I love you’s, words I’ve waited to hear from Ethan for over ten years, stolen from his mouth and sealed with a kiss.