“Fuck you.”
“Don’t ask her like that, you need to say make love,” Everett says.
I shake my head. “You are all fucking idiots. We’re still going to dinner and tonight I’ll talk to her.”
“How are you gonna do it?” Lane asks.
I laugh as I stand up. “What is this high school? I’m gonna talk to her.”
“Flowers?” Everett asks.
“You want me to give her flowers and ask her to be my girlfriend?” I ask, raising my eyebrow.
We all laugh, but I make a mental note to send her flowers.
“Okay, now that we have all this figured out, I’m going to get some sleep before dinner,” Remi says, standing up.
We all agree that it’s a good idea and that we’ll meet at eight for dinner.
I lay down and toss and turn for a half hour. I know the problem and I’m done fighting it.
I grab my phone and pull up Lorelei’s number.
Me: Hey.
Lorelei: Hey!
Me: What are you doing?
Lorelei: Trying to take a nap.
I smile and sit up.
Me: Good come to my room now.
Lorelei: Why?
Me: Just do it.
Lorelei: Be right there.
I toss my phone and go to the door. I open it, leaning against the door frame. She walks out of her room and when she sees me, she shakes her head.
I’m starting to need you, angel.
When she reaches me, she raises an eyebrow. “What?”
I grab her hand, leading her into the room. The door closes behind us as I lead her to the bed.
“Take a nap with me,” I say, standing in front of the bed.
She laughs and goes to pull away. “What? No!”
I pull her closer and wrap my arms around her waist, resting my hands on her lower back. I search her captivating blue eyes and grin. “You know as well as I do that, we both sleep better this way. Why fight it?”
“People will get the wrong impression,” she whispers.
“I don’t give a fuck what people think. I only care what you and I think. Now, get your ass in this bed because I’m exhausted,” I say.
She bites her bottom lip and I hold back a groan. I want to bite onto that lip before I slip my tongue into her mouth. I want to run my hands all over her body, making her feel things she’s never felt before. I want her screaming my name while my cock slams into her.
I adjust myself as she climbs onto the bed. But for now, I’ll settle for having her in my arms. She lays her head on my chest and within minutes I’m being pulled under.
“She’s been in the bathroom a long time,” Lane says, looking over his shoulder. “Should we go check on her?”
I check my phone and nod. “She’s got one more minute and I’ll go.”
We’ve been having a great night. We opted for a private room at the restaurant so we could enjoy ourselves without the fans. We’ve been drinking a lot, which is why I’m starting to worry about her. I hope she’s not sick.
“I’m going,” I say, standing up.
The alcohol has my head spin, but I need to make sure my girl is alright. I walk out of the private room, toward the bathroom. I can hear people whispering my name, but right now she’s my priority. As I walk down the darkened hallway to the bathroom, I see a couple pressed against the wall.
Been there my dude.
“Stop!” I hear, spinning around.
That’s when I notice it’s not a couple. It’s some asshole holding my girl against the wall. I don’t even think, I run at him and my fist connects with his jaw. He stumbles back, but I don’t stop. I swing and catch his nose; blood immediately gushes from it. It’s not enough though. His hands were on her. He had her pinned against the wall, helpless. While I waited to check on her.
He falls to the ground and I jump on top of him. Punch after punch, hit after hit, he is groaning in pain. Blood is on my hands and shirt, but I don’t care.
“Kegan, stop!” Hearing her voice makes me freeze with my fist in the air. “Please, stop.”
She’s crying.
I jump off the asshole and pull her into my arms. “Are you alright?”
She buries her face in my chest and fists my shirt in her hands. Cries leave her that wreck me. I’m going to fucking kill this guy.
“Lorelei, are you alright? Please tell me,” I beg.
The alcohol isn’t helping either of us, I know that, but I can’t help it. I feel like I failed her and since that guy is still breathing, I failed her twice.
“I’m fine, just got scared,” she says, sobbing.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m here now,” I whisper, kissing her head.
“Oh, what the fuck!” Lane yells, running down the hallway. “Kegan? What the fuck?”
“He attacked her,” I hiss, looking over her head at him. “I’m not finished yet.”
He runs his hands through his hair looking from the floor where the asshole is to me. “No, we need to get you the fuck out of here. Both of you.”
Suddenly, Lorelei lifts her head and her normally sparkling eyes are filled with horror. “Fuck,” she whispers. “Go out the back with Lane. I’ll go tell someone I found him like this. I’ll get everyone’s things and Everett and Remi.” She pulls away from me and pushes me back. “Go now!”
“I’m not fucking leaving you,” I yell.
Lane pushes on my chest. “Yeah, you are.”
I shake my head and look down at my bloody hands and shirt. I sigh as I look up at Lorelei. She looks broken. No one will believe she had nothing to do with it. Her makeup is running down her cheeks, her eyes are red from crying, which she’s still doing.
“No way. Look at her! They’ll know she was involved. He attacked her!” I scream.
“And you attacked him!” Lane yells back. “She can handle this.”
“No fucking way.”
“Kegan, go. I’ve got this. Please just meet us back at the hotel. Please trust me,” she begs.
“Fuck!” I scream. I grab her and kiss the top of her head. “I don’t wanna leave you. It makes me feel weak.”
“You saved me, let me save you.” She pulls away and starts to walk down the hall. “Get him out of here, Lane!”
He pushes me out the back door and I fight the entire way. I left her to clean up a mess that she’s sobbing about. It’s fucked up. I’m fucked up.
“Come on, we need to get back to the hotel,” Lane says, pulling out his phone.
“Fuck you! I should be helping her, not fucking hiding,” I yell.
He hangs up the phone and nods his head. “If you stayed and someone saw what you did, you’d be front page headlines tomorrow. And how exactly would you want boss lady to cover that? You’re Kegan Donovan, drunk, and covered in another man’s blood. Doesn’t matter if you were protecting her, brother. They wouldn’t see it like that. She’s protecting you.”
I shake my head, scrubbing my face. “That’s the fucking problem. I should be protecting her. Instead, I’m hiding outside like a fucking pussy. That’s not what a man does, that’s what a coward does and I’m no fucking coward!”
I turn to go back in, but Lane grabs me. “Stop, the car is here. Get in.”
I try to fight him, but he pushes me in and climbs in behind me. The driver races us to the hotel and Lane has me flip my shirt inside out. He pulls off his jacket and hands it to me.
“Button that up and keeps your hands in your pockets. Don’t look at anyone. Keep your head down until we get into your room. Got it?”
I don’t say anything I just nod. All I can think about is seeing Lorelei pressed against the wall and how I left her to clean it up. I’ve never felt that kind of rage before. I didn’t care if I killed him.
The car stops and we climb out. I shove my hands in my pockets and keep my head down, following Lane to the elevator. The higher it goes the more my anger is returning. I’m in the safety of the hotel and she’s handling a mes
s she shouldn’t need to.
The door opens and we walk out. We get to my door and I pull out my keycard. We get inside and Lane presses his phone to his ear as he walks to look out the window.
“Who are you talking to?” I ask.
He holds up a finger and I lose it. I’m done fucking waiting. I’m done being told what to do. I pick up a chair and throw it across the room. Lane hangs up the phone and sits down on the small couch.
“I fucking left her!” I shout.
I pick up a lamp and smash it against the wall. I continue throwing things, anything within reach, as I scream. I fucked up. She’s been protecting me, protecting all of us from the second she stepped foot on the bus. She did it when I was a complete asshole to her. Yet, the one time she needs me I’m too late, and then forced to once again let her protect me. I’ve never felt like less of a man than I do right now. I feel defeated.
I stop throwing things and lean over, resting my hands on my knees as I breathe heavily. I glance at Lane and he has his fingers steepled in front of his mouth, his elbows resting on his knees.
He raises an eyebrow, and his hands fall apart. “You done?”
I stand tall and run my hands through my hair, still trying to catch my breath. “Fuck you.”
“You’re drunk and you feel like you let her down. Own those feelings, brother, but don’t take out your shit on me. All I did was save you from a career destroying moment. If I didn’t come down the hallway, what the fuck would have happened? You wouldn’t have listened to Lorelei when she told you to go. You’d be in fucking hand cuffs,” he says.
I sigh as I sit across from him, dropping my head back to look at the ceiling. “I’ve never felt this way about someone before. All I want to do is make her mine.” I close my eyes and her tear-stained face is all I see. “And I left her. I walked away like a fucking pussy.”
“You didn’t leave her, Kegan. You left the situation. She asked you to trust her, so do that,” he says.
I open my eyes and look over at him. “Who were you talking to?”
“Remi,” he says.
I jolt forward and slap my hands on the coffee table. “Don’t make me fucking ask, tell me,” I growl.
He shakes his head and crosses his arms. “All he said was they are all on their way back. He said it was all taken care of and everything is good.”
I should feel relief, but I don’t. I feel like a failure.
“Maybe you should take a shower before they get back. Get the blood off you,” Lane suggests.
I hold my hands out and stare at them. “I wanted to kill him, Lane. Like I physically in that moment wanted him dead,” I whisper.
“You love her,” he says.
I slowly lift my eyes from my hands to him. “What?”
He lifts his shoulder and leans back. “I think you love her.”
“I don’t know what that even means,” I admit.
He smiles as he waves his hand in my direction. “It means that you’d kill someone to protect her.”
I continue to stare at him and there’s a light knock on the door. I jump up so fast I knock over the coffee table as I race to the door. I pull it open, and my heart literally stops. I’m no longer in control of what I’m doing as I grab Lorelei and hold her tightly against me. She sighs as I move away from the door.
I rest my hand on the back of her head while I fist her shirt in my other. “I’ll never fucking walk away again. I’ll deal with the aftermath. I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
“I told you to leave,” she says.
“Is he okay?” Remi asks.
“No,” Lane replies.
“Fuck,” Remi whispers.
I block them out and give Lorelei just enough room to look up at me. When she does, my heart hurts so bad, I want to rip it out of my chest. Her makeup is all over her face, her eyes are red and puffy, and her stare is blank. It crushes me.
I swallow as I grab onto her hair. “I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you,” I whisper.
She forces a grin as her fingers dig into my back. “You did though, Kegan. You pulled him off of me,” she says, searching my eyes.
“And then I left you to clean up the fucking mess and once again protect me.”
“What happened in here?” Everett says.
“He went crazy,” Lane explains.
I turn my head and look at them. “Get the fuck out. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
They glance at each other but Lane nods and they all head toward the door. Once it’s closed, I grab Lorelei’s face.
“Are you alright?” I ask.
“I’m fine, honest,” she replies.
I feel overwhelmed in this moment, and instead of allowing myself to break down, I crash my lips to hers. I lick the seam of her full lips, asking for entrance. She doesn’t make me wait and opens her mouth. The second my tongue touches her, I lose it. I sink my fingers into her hair and deepen the kiss, groaning when she digs her nails into my back.
She moans and I swallow it down. I tighten my hold on her hair, never wanting this to end. I’ve now had a piece of her, tasted her. I won’t let her go.
I pull back slowly and rest my forehead on hers. I search her eyes, trying to comprehend the most passionate kiss I’ve ever had.
“I’ll never let anyone hurt you again,” I whisper.
Tears swim in her eyes as she searches mine. “Kegan, you didn’t let him hurt me.”
“I need to know what happened after I left, Lorelei,” I say, unable to move away from her.
“I ran to the closest waiter and continued crying. He panicked when I told him that someone tried to attack me. He raced down the hall and saw the guy. I told him that someone pulled him off me, saved me, and left. He told me that guy was a hero as he called the cops. Lane had already told Everett and Remi what happened, so they were there with me when the cops and paramedics arrived. I gave a quick statement and they said since I refused medical attention, I was free to leave. We left and came here,” she says.
I close my eyes briefly, just letting it all sink in. A hero. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. A pussy is more like it, but knowing she is safe is what matters right now. I’ll call around tomorrow and find out if he’s facing any charges. If not, I’ll make sure he does.
I sigh as I pull away from her. “We both need to shower and get some sleep. You can shower first,” I say walking over and pulling one of my shirts out of my suitcase. “You can put this on.”
“I should probably just go back to my room,” she says, looking around. “What happened?”
I glance around at the mess and run my hand through my hair. “I couldn’t bear to be away from you. Go shower and get into bed.”
I walk away not giving her a chance to argue.
Once we are both showered and in bed, I pull her into my arms. She looks more relaxed and having her against me helps me. Her wet hair rests against my chest and I welcome it. I rub her back as she sighs.
“I want to take you to dinner tomorrow, just us,” I say.
She doesn’t move and doesn’t say a word. I know she heard me; she’s just thinking it all through.
“I’m not going to play games here, Lorelei. I want you. I need you. That kiss, that was just the beginning. Don’t try to fight me on this, angel. Just allow us both to have the happiness we deserve.”
I kiss the top of her head and she sighs. “Maybe.”
Maybe. It’s fucking better than no.
Chapter Twelve
Lorelei
I’m pacing my room waiting for Haven and Blair to call me back. Last night was overwhelming for so many different reasons. Between that guy pinning me against the wall, Kegan beating him, the emotional stress, the most intense kiss I’ve ever gotten, and Kegan telling me he wants me. I’m ready to explode.
I don’t know what to do. I know what I want, but I don’t know if it’s possible. If my grandfather or the label ever found out that we were together, I’d lose everything. I’ve work
ed so hard to just let it all go for a guy.
I fall back onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling. He’s not just a guy. He’s passionate, respectful, demanding, protective, possessive, and hot as fuck. He’s as invested in his work as I am, and he understands that. He’s perfect and I don’t know if I can let it happen.
When I woke up this morning, Kegan was staring at me with a look of pure desire in his eyes. He had a sexy grin on his face as I sat up. I didn’t want to leave and that’s why I did. I wanted him to continue with that kiss. I wanted to see how far it would go. It was too much, and I needed to get my head on straight.
Unfortunately, I need advice and my best friends are nowhere to be found. I groan as I hear a knock on my door. It can only be one person and I don’t have an answer for him yet. I hear another knock and I know I need to answer it. Shockingly, it’s not Kegan. It’s the bellboy and he’s holding a huge vase filled with wildflowers. It’s colorful, wild, and perfectly Kegan.
I take the flowers and thank him as he rushes away. I put the vase down and pull out the small card tucked inside. I laugh when I read it.
“I want to deflower you,” I say, laughing as I read it out loud.
I grab my phone to text him and it rings. I answer immediately. “Finally!” I yell.
“Time difference, Lei,” Haven says.
“Oh, shit right,” I say laughing. “Well get Blair on three-way cause I need you both.”
“You’re lucky I’m on lunch,” Blair says.
“Okay fine, I have a lot to say so I’m just gonna get to it,” I rush out.
I tell them everything from the last few weeks that I’ve purposely left out of our conversations. I tell them about last night, everything from the fight to the kiss, to him saying he wants me. I even tell them about the flowers.
I wait for some sort of reply, but they are both quiet. My frustration gets the better of me and I groan. “Please, I need advice!”
“Why? It’s clear you just need to fuck him and get it over with,” Blair says, laughing.
Loyalty: A Salvation Society Novel Page 10
