“I agree. What the hell are you questioning? He’s hot as hell and he wants you,” Haven says.
I sigh as I flip the card between my fingers. “What about my job?”
“What about it?” Blair asks.
“If my grandfather or the label found out I’d lose everything,” I say.
“Lei, you have the chance to screw a rock star. There should be no questions or worries. Get naked and hop on that,” Blair says.
Haven laughs along with Blair and I’m starting to get annoyed. I’m looking for real advice. I need real advice. Telling me to fuck him and have fun isn’t advice. They aren’t seeing it from my point of view. Everything I’ll be losing if I agree to this. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am, and it could all be destroyed in a matter of minutes.
“Take advantage of the sexy situation, Lei. He sounds like he really wants you and all the shit you told us about last night,” she pauses as she sighs in wonderment. “That’s some seriously hot alpha shit.”
“But my job,” I whine.
“Who cares? Have fun for once,” Blair says.
They continue to make jokes as I shake my head. This isn’t helping at all. They could easily walk away from their jobs and get a new one. I can’t. The reputation of not only sleeping with a client, but having a romantic relationship? No one would ever hire me again.
I can’t even get a word in as they continue laughing at my expense.
“Yeah, thanks for the help. I’ll figure it out,” I say, hanging up.
That was useless. I’ve been waiting all morning for some solid, real advice and they prove to be no help at all. I get up to put the card into my purse. When I reach it, I feel another card and pull it out.
Catherine Pope. I flip it over a few times wondering if I should do it. She said I should call, but I feel like an unprofessional fool. How can I call a woman I don’t know and ask her advice? Besides the fact that she is a publicist, so she understands this world and the fact that she is not engaged to a man that was or is her client.
I stare at the card and try to convince myself it’s a stupid idea, but my head disagrees. Maybe the fact that I don’t know her is a good thing. She can’t judge me from any past experiences. She’d only be giving me advice on this situation at hand, not my life as a whole.
I steal my nerves and pick my phone back up. Screw it, I’m honestly this desperate.
I dial the number and press the phone to my ear. I stare out the window at the beautiful ocean in front of me. I’d love to feel the sand on my feet and the sun kissing my skin.
“Catherine Pope,” she answers, pulling my thoughts back to the situation.
I clear my throat because it feels as if my heart is lodged in it. “Hi, Catherine. It’s Lorelei Seidel. We met.”
“At the Loyalty concert, I remember you,” she says. “How’s everything going?”
I laugh and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m nervous or just surprised she remembers me. “Things are, well, kinda crazy. It’s actually why I’m calling.”
“You fell for him,” she says.
There’s no judgement at all. She’s saying it in a way of understanding.
“Yes,” I whisper.
“And now you don’t know if you should pick him or the job, and you’re scared to lose both in the end,” she says.
My eyes widen at her words. She either lived through something almost identical or she’s some sort of psychic.
“That’s exactly it,” I say.
“I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that finally getting over my insecurities and fears was the best decision I ever made,” she says.
“I’ve just worked so hard to get where I am and if we give in to this, I’m terrified I’ll lose my job. It would take a lot less for my grandfather to fire me,” I tell her.
“There’s something to be said about living a life with no regrets. You have to ask yourself if you’ll look back on this and regret letting him go. I know being a publicist is the most important thing, but you can find a new job. Can you find someone that makes you feel like Kegan does?” she asks.
I close my eyes letting her words sink in. I know if I looked for the rest of my life, I’d never find someone like Kegan. I also know I would compare everyone to him.
“If word got out that I have a relationship with a client, I don’t think any other company would hire me. My reputation would be gone,” I say.
She quiet for a minute and I bite my cheek, worrying about what she’s about to say.
“Sometimes you just need to stop worrying about what will happen, or what did happen, or what could happen. Sometimes, you just need to focus on the present and let the rest fall into place. I fought it long and hard with Jackson. I look back and think of all the time wasted that we could’ve had. When something is meant to be, you can fight it all you want, but in the end it’s inevitable,” she says.
At this moment, I realize it was meant to be that I met her. Without knowing anything else about me, she knows me. She understands me. It makes me smile.
“Catherine, I truly appreciate all the advice and kind words. You didn’t need to go out of your way for me like this, but I’m grateful,” I say.
I can hear her smile as she speaks. “You’re welcome. Please don’t leave me hanging,” she says, laughing. “Give me a call and let me know how everything goes. And if you need any other advice, I’m just a phone call away.”
I laugh as I look over at my flowers. “I definitely will. Thank you, Catherine.”
“Good luck, Lorelei.”
We hang up and I take a deep breath. I’ll go to dinner with him, and we can discuss it all.
Me: Dinner invitation still stand?
Kegan: Like you need to ask.
Me: What time?
Kegan: I’ll be at your door at eight.
Me: Okay and Kegan…
Kegan: What?
Me: Thank you for the beautiful flowers.
Kegan: And the note.
I laugh as I toss my phone. He’s back to himself today and I’m grateful for it. He was so broken last night. The only thing I could do was stay and let him get his comfort. I shake my head, trying to forget it all. We are going out tonight and I don’t want to focus on last night.
Check the time and realize it’s later than I thought. I need to shower and start getting ready.
I can’t remember the last time I took so long to get ready for a date. I’m all shaved and silky smooth, which took a lot longer than I thought it would. I took a ridiculous amount of time on my hair and makeup. I curled my hair, but I did loose beachy curls. I figured we are in California, so it works. I did a smokey eye for my makeup and my blue eyes pop. I decided to go light on the lipstick, making my eyes the center of attention.
Now, I am standing in my favorite black lace bra and panties. The bed is covered in clothes as I try to decide what to wear. I should’ve gone shopping today and bought something new. I would normally wear my black dress, but I’ve already worn that. I start tossing clothes aside and just as I’m about to give up, my eye catches my silver dress. I pull it out of the pile and hold it up. I don’t even remember packing this dress. It’s not something I’d normally wear out to dinner. It has thin straps and shows just enough cleavage, but it’s the back that is daring. It is cut down almost to my ass. It’s extremely revealing and incredibly sexy. I smile as I slide into it. It hugs my breasts perfectly and flows down to just above my knees. I turn looking at the back and I’ll admit I feel unbelievably sexy. I step back getting a good look at myself and smile. This is perfect.
Just as I step into my black heels, there’s a knock on my door. For the first time I can remember, I get butterflies in my stomach. I’m suddenly nervous. I take one last look at myself and bite my lip as I head for the door.
I open it and I’m thankful I’m holding on, because Kegan knocks the wind out of me. He looks hot in a pair of gym shorts or his normal everyday jeans and t-shirt, but standing
in front of me in a suit is something else entirely. He’s got a white button up shirt on and a bright blue tie. A black jacket and pants finish the look. His hair is still wild as ever, but in this suit, it is the perfect contrast.
His dark eyes drink me in, and I can feel my pulse begin to race. “Fuck, Lorelei. You look gorgeous,” he says.
I reach my hand out and run it down the lapel of his jacket. “You do, too.”
“You want to just skip dinner and let me get the dessert I’ve been craving?” he asks in the deep, raspy voice.
I bite my lip as I actually contemplate his question. He turns me on with just a few simple words. I don’t know how I would be able to handle his hands on my body, his mouth on me, his cock pulsing inside of me.
“Hey,” he says, bringing me back to the present. He knows exactly what I was thinking. The smirk on his face says it all.
I shake my head and grab my purse. “We have a lot to talk about,” I say.
I close the door and once it’s shut, he pushes me up against it. His lips are a breath away from mine and my heart races in my chest.
“We can discuss anything you want, but have no doubt about where this is headed. I won’t back down when it comes to making you mine, angel,” he whispers, backing up.
I can’t find my voice, so I simply nod. He grins as I straighten myself and when I turn around to walk toward the elevator, I hear him groan. I peek over my shoulder and smile.
I can play, too, big guy.
When we get to the lobby, I start toward the restaurant, but Kegan places his hand on my lower back and turns me.
“We’re going out, baby,” he whispers.
I look up at him as he guides me outside. He’s so confident and in control. It’s a huge turn on.
When we get outside, the warm evening air hits us and I smile. It’s so much better than all the cold and snow in Chicago.
“Kegan! Oh my God, it’s Kegan from Loyalty!”
Shit. Glance around and hope no one is taking pictures. He waves as the driver holds the door open for us. I climb in first and he gets in right behind me. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and lean against the cold leather seat.
“That’s going to happen all night, isn’t it?” I ask, turning my head toward him.
He reaches over and grabs my hand, bringing it to his mouth. He kisses my palm before linking his fingers between mine and resting it on his lap. “Not tonight it won’t,” he says.
“You can’t guarantee that,” I say, looking out the window.
“I can and I will,” he says.
I don’t say anything because we both know he can’t. My racing heart finally begins to slow. This is what I’m scared of. If anyone took a picture of us leaving, it would be in the tabloids tomorrow. My grandfather and the label would see, and I’d be finished.
“Stop overthinking,” Kegan says, squeezing my hand.
I laugh and look at him. “How could you possibly know that?”
“I know you better than you think I do,” he says.
“Oh yeah?” I push.
He turns in his seat and nods. “I know that when you are overthinking you stare off in deep thought. I know that when you are thinking about work that you chew on your bottom lip. I know that when you are turned on, you begin to breathe heavier and bite your lip as your eyelids lower. I know that when you dream you make soft sounds.”
I stare at him in shock. I had no idea he was paying as close attention to me as I have been of him. I bite my bottom lip and he smiles.
“See,” he says, reaching over to release my lip.
“I had no idea you were watching so closely,” I say.
He pulls me closer and grabs my chin between his fingers. “You’re right, you have no idea.”
I search his eyes as the car comes to a stop. He grins and gives me a wink. I wonder if he knows how those little things turn me on.
The door opens and he steps out, holding his hand for me to grab. I do and he leads me into the restaurant. When we get inside, I notice it’s empty. I look up at him, but he’s focused on the hostess.
“I believe our table is ready,” he says to her.
She nods and grabs our menus. “Yes sir, please follow me.”
We follow her and the further in we get I realize that there is in fact no one else here. “Where is everyone?”
We stop at a table by the huge windows. It’s the perfect view of the ocean with the moon bouncing off of it. It’s stunning.
“Your waitress will be right over to get your drink order,” the hostess says.
Kegan nods as he pulls my chair out for me. I sit and thank him as he sits across from me.
“Well?”
He laughs lightly as he picks up his menu. “I rented it out for just us tonight,” he says, looking at the menu.
“I’m sorry, what?”
He puts the menu down and grins. “You want to talk right? You want to figure out what I already know. You don’t want prying eyes or fans interrupting. So, I rented it out so we could get it all figured out without any interruptions.”
My mind is blown. I work for him, I spend every single day with him, I watch him on stage in front of thousands of people, yet I forget who he is. He’s a Rockstar. A popular, extremely wealthy, Rockstar.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. I’m not ready to share you with anyone just yet,” he says.
I smile as the waitress takes our drink orders. I watch Kegan as he talks to her and my heart hurts. I’ll admit, I want him. I would love to give in to all this tension, all these feelings, and see where it goes. I have no doubt that it would never be boring with him. But my fears are valid and holding me back.
“What are you thinking?” he asks.
I glance down at the table as I pick at the napkin in front of me. I don’t want to hurt him, especially with the emotions of last night still fresh.
“Lorelei.” I lift my eyes to him, and he raises an eyebrow. “Talk to me.”
I blow out a breath as I try to find the courage. “Obviously, I’m feeling things for you,” I start, taking a sip of my drink when it’s placed down. “The thing is my job. If I got involved with you, that would be the end of everything I’ve fought so hard for. My grandfather would all too happily fire me, but not before the label did it first. I’ll lose my reputation and the likelihood of ever finding another publicist job would be slim.”
He keeps his eyes on me, giving me his full attention. I’m not used to it. I’m used to guys being more invested in their phones or files. It makes me feel even more like I’m about to let go of the best thing that could happen to me.
He nods his head and grins. “You do realize you’re one of the best, if not the absolute best publicist there is right? If you don’t want people to know, you’re the one in charge of keeping it hidden.” He reaches over taking my hand in his. “I won’t hide forever, but until this tour is over, I’m cool with it. So, do your thing. Keep us out of the headlines and tabloids.”
“And what happens if something gets through that I miss?” I question.
He leans back against his chair and shrugs. “Then people will be jealous of me sooner rather than later.”
I laugh as I wrap my hand around my wine glass. “You mean all the women will be jealous and hate me.”
“They may be envious, but believe me, the jealous ones will be the guys. They’ll all want what I have,” he says, completely serious.
“Kegan, I’m a no one. You are the Rockstar. Why on earth would anyone be jealous of you?” I ask.
“You have no idea what I see, angel. If you did, you’d understand.” He sips his beer and tips it toward me. “So, that’s taken care of. What else do you want to throw at me to try to avoid the inevitable?”
“I’m not just throwing random things at you. I’m telling you what scares me,” I whisper.
He gets up and kneels in front of me. He grabs onto my hips
and looks up at me with a softness in his eyes. “You know what scares me, Lorelei? You walking away and leaving me to never feel this way again. I know you have fears with your job, but my fear is losing my fucking heart,” he whispers, digging his fingers in. “I’ve been fighting this for weeks now. Pushing down all these feelings I’ve never felt before, but after last night, I’m done. I would’ve beaten that guy to death and never gave it a second thought because he touched you. I’m yours, Lorelei. Tell me you’re mine.”
There are no words. I have nothing I can say. I’ve been fighting it, too, and I’m done. I lean down and press my lips to his. He stands, grabbing me with him. His fingers sink into my hair as he deepens the kiss. My body reacts immediately to his touch and taste. My nipples are hard, and my panties are getting wet. All from a kiss. That’s never happened to me before and I can’t stop the moan that slips out.
He pulls my hair slightly at the sound and bites down on my bottom lip. His teeth scrape against it before he sucks it into his mouth. Fuck. Me.
He breaks the kiss and we both search each other’s eyes. “Say it,” he demands.
I swallow as I try to wrap my hands around his biceps. “I’m yours, Kegan.”
“Fuck yes!”
He crashes his mouth to mine again. One hand digs into my hair, while the other skates down my bare back, pulling me close. I need more and I know he does too.
Dinner better be fast.
Chapter Thirteen
Kegan
She said she’s mine. I can’t stop thinking about how unbelievable it was to hear her say it. I thought about it through out dinner while we laughed. While we danced in the empty restaurant. And now while my arm is around her as we drive back to the hotel. She said she’s mine.
“Thank you for dinner,” she says.
I wink as I kiss her shoulder. “Wait until dessert.”
Loyalty: A Salvation Society Novel Page 11
