The door opens and Remi walks in. I don’t wanna hear him compare what he had with Olivia to what I had with Lorelei. I don’t want to listen to him talk about how he was hurt, and she walked away. I’m not ready to hear that I need to move on.
“Come on. We picked up breakfast and coffee is brewing,” he says, nodding toward the door.
I follow behind, grateful he didn’t say anything. I make myself a cup of strong coffee and sit at the table with them. Everett passes me a breakfast sandwich and I graciously take it.
“How are you feeling?” Lane asks.
I bite into my sandwich and lift my eyes to him. “I’m all better. Drinking myself unconscious made me forget all about her.”
“Oh damn, I missed asshole Kegan,” Everett says.
“Fuck you.”
“You just gonna let her go?” Remi asks.
I laugh as I finish off my sandwich. “You think I should chase someone who promised not to walk away and she all but ran?”
“You told her if she walks out that door you won’t chase her. You told her that if she walks away, you’re done,” Lane says.
“Thanks for the replay.”
“Look, I get you’re pissed, but fucking listen,” Lane hisses.
I lean back and cross my arms, raising my eyebrow.
“You knew if it came out, she was going to get fired. You knew that she would have no choice but to leave. She had no choice, Kegan. Her grandfather and the label made sure of that. Stop acting like she left because you had a fight,” Everett says.
I slam my fists on the table and look at each of them. “She promised not to fucking walk away!”
“And you promised to fix whatever the fuck happens!” Lane yells back. My brows dip and he continues. “She told you she was scared, and you told her that if anyone found out before the end of the tour that you’d fix it. You! But instead of trying, you are blaming her for leaving. She didn’t leave you brother, she got fired as our publicist. You’re letting her walk away. Fucking fight like you always do. Fight for her.”
I stare at him as a weight settles on my shoulders.
“You didn’t fight for her. You fought her,” Remi says.
I scrub my face as realization hits me. Just like the night she was attacked; I wasn’t there to protect her. Only this time it’s worse. This time I was there, I just let her get attacked and attacked her myself.
I close my eyes as regret washes over me. “Fuck,” I whisper.
“So now that you get it, what the hell are you going to do?” Lane asks.
Fight. I’m going to fucking fight.
Chapter Nineteen
Lorelei
I stare at the wall, unsure how after almost two weeks I’m still capable of producing tears. I should be dehydrated at this point, but here I am still crying. I close my eyes and the plane ride back with my grandfather plays in a constant loop.
“This is precisely why I knew you were the wrong person for this job. You can’t get four grown men to listen to you without them getting into your pants,” he whispers.
I shake my head and focus out the window. I feel hollow. I left my beating heart back with Kegan. I had no choice and he’ll never understand that. I hurt him and I deserve to suffer for it.
“You told me you were going to shine and yet you burnt out faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. You have put my company, a company that I spent my life building, in jeopardy. No one will trust us now. That’s on you. Those men only listened to you because you let them in your pants.”
I snap my head toward him and narrow my eyes. “Those men are the best people I’ve ever met. They became my family. They cared for me as much as I cared for them. They listened to me because they respected me. Kegan and I fell in love. There was no stopping it, believe me I tried. He didn’t use me or take advantage of me. He loved me.”
He laughs. He actually laughs before sipping his drink. “You’re a foolish girl, Lorelei. That boy is already on to someone new, don’t fool yourself.”
“I’m not the fool here, Grandpa. You are.”
He rests his hand on mine and smiles. “You’re fired, Lorelei.”
“Hey,” Blair says, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Hey,” I say, not moving the cover from on top of my head.
She sits on the bed and rubs my foot. “How about you get in the shower and come watch some TV with me? We’ll order pizza and get drunk.”
I kick her hand and pull my legs up to my chest. “How about I stay in this bed until I’m able to look at myself in the mirror?”
“Lei, it’s been two weeks. You can’t stay hiding. So, you got fired, people get fired every day. You get up, dust yourself off and look for something new,” she says.
I push the comforter off of me and lean up on my elbows. “I lost everything! I lost my job, my reputation, and the love of my life.”
The tears return and she pulls me in for a hug. “Just when you think you can’t stand the dark any longer, a light will shine through.”
I push her off and lift my eyebrows. “Are you googling motivational sayings?”
She laughs, lifting her shoulders. “Maybe.”
I laugh lightly and it feels foreign. “You’re an idiot.”
“I know but come on. You don’t even need to shower, just get out of this bed and eat pizza with me,” she says, jetting out her bottom lip.
I give in, but drag the comforter with me to the living room. I sit down on the couch and Blair sits next to me. “I miss him so much,” I whisper.
She reaches for my hand and squeezes it. “Why don’t you just call him?”
I peek up at her and shake my head. “You didn’t see him, Blair. I destroyed him. If he wanted to talk about it, he’s had two weeks to call me. He told me if I walked out the door, he wouldn’t chase me.” I shrug and fight back more tears. “He’s a man of his word.”
“He also seems like a guy that will fight,” she says.
I smile thinking of all the times he did fight. He fought for his mom. He fought to get Loyalty the success they have. He fought the label about his playboy ways. He fought against me being his publicist. He fought his feelings for me. He fought a man to protect me. He fought to make me realize he is the love of my life. He fights for what he wants and clearly, he isn’t fighting for us.
“Only when it’s important,” I reply. “Did you order pizza yet?”
I need to be distracted and talking about my broken heart isn’t helping.
“Yeah, Haven is picking it up.”
“Alcohol?”
She laughs and goes into the kitchen to get a bottle of wine and two glasses.
The next several hours are the best I’ve had in two weeks. It may have to do with the three bottles of wine we’ve consumed, but I’m not being picky at this point. They’ve done a great job of keeping my mind occupied and I’m so grateful. I may have lost everything I love, but my besties. These girls will always be there for me.
“They miss you,” Blair whispers.
I jerk my head toward her with wide eyes. “What?”
“Blair, shut the hell up,” Haven hisses.
“No, no! You talk now,” I say, looking between them.
“I talked to Remi,” she says.
My stomach drops and the tears that have been gone return full force.
“Blair, what the fuck,” Haven says, wrapping her arm around me.
“What did he say?”
“Don’t do this to yourself, Lei,” Haven whispers.
I shouldn’t push her. I know no matter what she says it is going to destroy me, but I need to know. I’m also pissed that my best friend is talking to Remi behind my back. How could she do that to me?
“He said that they all missed you, that’s it,” Blair says.
I look over at her as she takes a sip of her wine. “How could you talk to him behind my back? You see how devastated I am, and you talk about me to Remi.”
She looks at Haven and back at me. “It was only one t
ime and he called me; I didn’t call him.”
“Why did he call you?”
She shakes her head and finishes off her wine. “He wasn’t sure who’s number it was. He didn’t have my name saved and he got a new phone. I guess he was just curious. It was fast Lei, he asked who I was, I told him, and he asked how you were, and I told him none of his business. He said tell her we miss her. That’s it,” she rushes out.
I sigh as I stand up. “I’m going to bed.”
“No, don’t. Come on we were having a good time,” Blair says.
I don’t say anything. I just tighten my comforter on me and walk back to my room. I close the door and fall on my bed at the same time a sob rips through me.
“Lei, are you in the shower?” Blair asks.
“Obviously that’s why the water is running,” I yell, rinsing my hair.
“We’re running to get lunch. Be back soon.”
I finish in the shower and when I step out, I quickly dry myself off. I pull on my panties and get into my sweatpants and sweatshirt. I grab the brush and pull it through the knots in my hair, as my back is turned toward the mirror. When that’s done, I step into my slippers and head for the living room.
After last night, I didn’t think I’d get out of bed again. It was as if it all just happened. Blair and Haven had to come in and lay with me because my screams were deafening. After they calmed me down, they made me promise to at least get out of bed today. They said each day I needed to do something new until I was able to look in the mirror again. So today, I got out of bed and showered. It didn’t help my heart, but I honestly don’t think anything will. I’ve got to learn how to live with the constant ache.
I decide to flip through the channels until the girls get back. If I don’t, my mind will focus on other things. I find an episode of Friends and leave it on. I’ve seen it countless times, but it’s a good distraction.
I go into the kitchen to get a bottle of water and as I take aI sip, I slowly lower it to the counter. I listen closely and need to grab onto the counter to stay standing.
Big guy?
I force myself to breathe and slowly walk to the door. My hand is shaking uncontrollably as I try to turn the doorknob. I need to hold onto it when it swings open and Kegan is standing there, playing the guitar and singing.
I cover my mouth as I stare at him in shock. I listen to the song, quickly realizing I’ve never heard it before. It becomes clear why, when he gets to the chorus. He sings about his angel and how the devil pulled her away. He sings about how he had to fight for her and how she saves him in the end.
He wrote me a song and he chased me. These past few weeks I thought he’d never forgive me, but here he is. His haunted face, his dark eyes pinning me, his muscular arms flexing with each cord, and his deep voice filled with agony.
I step closer and he sings the last line, putting his guitar against the wall. “Kegan?”
“Hey, baby,” he says, tears shining in his eyes. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.”
I lose it as I throw myself into his arms. When his strong arms tighten around me, I bury my head in his neck and breath him in. His scent wraps around me and I immediately feel at ease.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He pulls back and wipes my tears with his thumbs. “I didn’t give you much of a choice. I was no better than your grandfather and the label. I didn’t fight for you. I didn’t fix it. I promised you I would, and I didn’t. I pushed you out the door.”
“Kegan.”
“I told you I would fix everything. You were scared and I promised you. It took me a minute to breathe again, but once I could, I fixed it all,” he says, smiling.
My brows dip and I tilt my head. “What?”
He tucks my wet hair behind my ear, and I remember what I’m wearing. I look awful and yet he’s looking at me with heat in his eyes. “I talked to the label and your grandfather.”
“What!”
He laughs and presses a finger to my lips. “I told the label if you’re fired, Loyalty will walk away. I told Jennifer that we are number one and any label would be happy to steal us away. She immediately said you were hired back as our publicist. We both went to your grandfather. She told him that if he didn’t want you to represent Seidel Public Relations that she would hire you as an independent publicist. I was not as nice. I put him in his place like I should’ve when he showed up and dragged you away. He’s fully aware that our love is real, and he’d be happy to let you continue working for him. They are both fully aware that we will be going public with our relationship.”
I stare at him with wide eyes, shocked at what I’m hearing. He did what I was too afraid to do. He fought for me, for us. He protected me. I narrow my eyes and lift my eyebrow. “I didn’t need you to fix it all, Kegan. I could’ve.”
He shuts me up with a kiss and I won’t argue that. The second our tongues touch, I melt into him. He walks us forward and kicks the door closed behind us. His hands sink into my wet hair and he deepens the kiss. We both moan and I feel my heart begin to beat again.
He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead on mine. “I know you didn’t need me to fix it all, baby. I did it because I wasn’t there to protect you once and I will never let that happen again. You fixed that mess for me and I fixed this mess for you. It’s what couples do, angel. They help each other, even when they don’t realize they need it.”
I cup his face in my hands and search his dark eyes. “I’ve been miserable without you.”
“I know, baby.” I lower my brow and he laughs. “Blair told Remi, just like Remi told Blair how miserable I was.”
I shake my head and smile. “She set this up, didn’t she?”
He gives me a wink and lifts me into his arms. “I needed your address. Now, show me your room because I need you. I need you more than anything. Let me show you.”
I show him to my room. I know in the moment my life is whole. I have the job, the friends, and the love of my life. I have more than I ever expected, and it all started with me being the enemy.
Chapter Twenty
Lorelei
We are on the final show of this tour. I stand with a smile as I watch Kegan center stage. This tour has been completely different, because there’s no hiding. Kegan couldn’t wait to tell the world we were together and as his publicist I took care of it. We still laugh about how I wrote the words he wanted to shout on stage.
This last year has been a whirlwind. I left the comforts of my besties in Chicago and moved to New York with Kegan. Haven and Blair visit often and it’s always so much fun when the seven of us are together. A bit of trouble too.
Kegan met my mother, and I met his. She’s doing remarkably well, and we’ve become very close. I call her often to check in and even though she tells me not to, we spend hours talking.
Whatever Blair and Remi had going on never took off. It wasn’t meant to be, but I’m glad they are still friends.
Lane and Everett are still on the hunt for love. By that I mean, they have been with more groupies this tour than the last. I’ll eventually get all three of them to date someone, it’s just going to take some time.
I return my focus to Kegan, knowing that he’s about to sing his final song. Our song. He ends every concert with it, and I still get emotional listening to it.
“Before we get to our final song, I wanted to talk about something,” he says.
I look around, confused. What the hell is he doing? This isn’t how it goes.
“You all know the song Angel is about the love of my life, Lorelei.” The crowd goes wild, and I can’t fight the smile that spreads across my face. “She’s gorgeous, right?” They are deafening with their screams and I laugh, covering my face. “Every concert she stands right there,” he says, pointing toward me. “She watches me, giving me silent encouragement and support. She even sings along, but don’t tell her I’ve noticed that.” He chuckles, winking at me. “I think you guys should call her out here. Give he
r a minute of the attention she deserves.”
My eyes widen and I frantically shake my head. “No, no, no.”
The crowd is chanting my name and my heart pounds in my chest. I’m terrified to be in front of a massive crowd like this. Why the hell is he doing this? I don’t need attention from anyone but him.
“Come on, baby. Give them what they want,” he says, walking toward me. He reaches me and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “I’ll be with you the entire time. Just come out for a minute.”
I’m shaking as I grab his hand, squeezing it. He chuckles and starts walking us onto the stage. The lights are hot, the crowd is massive, and the noise is deafening. I move closer to him and he wraps his arm around me, pulling the microphone off the stand.
“Lorelei, meet the fans,” he says, gesturing toward the crowd.
I laugh and give a small wave, feeling like a damn fool. I look back at Everett, Remi, and Lane but they are just laughing along with Kegan. Assholes.
“When I met this woman, it was not love at first sight. It was more like hate at first fight.” We both laugh and he holds onto my hand. “But now, if you look at her wrong, I will wreck your world. She’s my everything.” I smile at him and he kisses my hand. “You have made me the man I never thought I could be. You love me at my worst and push me when I want to give up. You don’t take my shit, but somehow I’m happy to take yours.” I laugh along with the crowd. “You understand me like no one else. You bring me peace, patience, and unconditional love.” He drops down to one knee and my eyes swim with tears. The crowd goes absolutely insane as I cover my mouth. He pulls the most beautiful diamond ring out of his pocket and grabs my hand. Lane rushes over to hold the microphone and they both laugh.
“Lorelei Seidel, will you make me the luckiest son of a bitch in the world and marry me?”
I’m unable to control my emotions and the tears run down my face as I whisper yes. He slips the ring on my finger and jumps up pulling me to him.
“She said yes!” Lane yells.
Loyalty: A Salvation Society Novel Page 17
