The Dirty South

by Penelope King

Magnolia Manor isn’t the only gig in town. Not by a long shot.

  Of course, I’m really hoping it doesn’t come down to that. But I know I need to brace myself for the very real possibility. I thought I was falling in love with Colton… and maybe he was falling in love with me. But now I feel like I don’t even know who he is anymore. Was I just a quick fling for him, and now that it’s over, he doesn’t know what to do with me? Nothing more awkward than having a one night stand not want to leave the next morning.

  My heart jumps at the sound of my phone ringing. It’s Stacia.

  “Hey, lady.” She always seems to know exactly when I need to hear her voice the most. I haven’t really told her anything about my relationship with Colton yet, but just knowing she’s here for me makes all the difference in the world.

  We chat for a while, and it helps to take my mind off things. She tells me how she’s finally all settled into her new big townhouse in Brooklyn, and that the guest room is ready for me whenever I want to come visit.

  “Brooklyn? What happened to Manhattan?” I ask her. “Thought it was the heartbeat of the universe.”

  “It still is… and I’m there almost every day. I just like these neighborhoods better. There’s a little park nearby, and it’s close to the subway.”

  “Can’t wait to see it,” I murmur.

  Things are going well with the guy from legal, Danny, and she’s really happy at her work. I want so badly to talk with her about Colton, but I don’t even know where to begin. But I think I already know what she’ll say… that I’m just overreacting, that he’s just ‘being a guy’, and to give him his space. She’s probably right, but my gut tells me there’s more.

  After we hang up, I walk over and look out the window. The lights are on in Willie’s place. But Colton’s is still dark.

  Where are you?

  I wake up with a heavy heart. The mornings when I’d greet the new day with Colton kissing and caressing me are now just a memory. It’s been ten days now that we’ve barely even spoken, and I haven’t seen him at all for three. I know he’s around, though, because I saw his truck outside The Dirty last night.

  I move through my day like a robot, trying to keep my dark thoughts at bay. But they keep coming back. I realize I don’t have much experience with dating and relationships, other than Brandon. And I don’t want to overstep my bounds. Just because Colton and I were sleeping together, and he made me feel like a goddess on top of the world, it doesn’t mean that he actually felt anything. He never actually said that he loved me. He said he liked me, but I’m sure he likes a lot of girls.

  I hate how I’m feeling right now, and I do know one thing for certain. I don’t want to go through another day feeling this way, wondering what’s wrong, and why he doesn’t want to see me. Although his actions are speaking loud and clear, I won’t really know anything for certain until I talk to him face-to-face. And I plan on doing exactly that.

  Tonight.

  Later that evening I’m back at the cottage trying to gather my thoughts. I peek out my side window and see that there are now some lights on in Colton’s place. Not a lot, but he’s obviously home.

  Finally.

  I give my reflection a final check in the mirror, and take several deep breaths.

  Time to get this over with.

  I’m making my way through the gardens when I’m surprised to see Willie sitting outside in his rocking chair, whittling away beneath the faint porch light. I detour over to him.

  “Hey, Willie, watcha doing out here? Aren’t you chilly?”

  He smiles and shakes his head. “Nah… I’m too old to get cold anymore. How are you this fine evening, Miss Cady?”

  I sigh and sit down in the chair next to him. “I’m okay, I guess.”

  “Just okay?”

  I shrug. “Yeah. Still just trying to figure some stuff out. Still looking for my path, I guess.”

  “Still muddy?”

  I give a humorless chuckle. “Some days more than others.” I pause. “Sure does smell good out here, like someone’s got a fire going or something.”

  “Sure does. I think someone was burning some leaves earlier. Nothing quite like the smells of autumn.”

  We sit for a while in silence just enjoying the aromatic, woodsy scent floating through the air. As pleasant as it is, it does little to lift my spirits. I have to talk to Colton. Now.

  I stand up and give Willie a pat on his hand. “Have a nice evening. Don’t stay out here too long. Go back inside where it’s warm.”

  He nods. “I’ll do that.” Then… “Miss Cady?”

  I pause and turn back around. “Yeah?

  He gives me a faint smile. “The sun will shine again. And you will find your way. Just remember that.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper quietly. “I really hope you’re right.”

  I continue on to Colton’s. My hand is trembling as I knock on the door, and I step back and take a deep breath.

  There’s no answer. I knock again, louder this time. I think I hear something, maybe the TV. Could be he just can’t hear me.

  I’m just about to knock again, when the door suddenly swings open. My hand freezes in mid-air, and I catch my breath.

  It’s the woman from the restaurant, the streaky-haired Jessica Rabbit hottie, standing there looking like… well, like she just got laid, and good. Her hair is all messy, and her shirt is falling off her shoulder and half untucked. Her makeup is badly smudged, and her eyes have a glassy, dazed look.

  “Can I help ya?” she asks, arching an eyebrow.

  I manage to unfreeze myself somehow. “Is Colton here?” I ask quietly.

  She smirks and shakes her head. “He just got in the shower.” Then she frowns and gives me a weird, almost angry look. “Who are you?”

  She’s leaning heavily in the doorway and seems unsteady on her feet. She looks like she’s drunk.

  So why is it my world that’s spinning?

  I shake my head. “Never mind… I’ll talk to him later.”

  “Yeah, you wanna talk to him, you’ll just have to wait your turn, sweetie.”

  I hear her laughing as I run blindly across the gardens and back to my cottage.

  I feel like I want to throw up. But at the same time, I feel strangely calm. I needed answers, and I got them. Not what I wanted… not what I hoped for. But now I know. He was just playing with me. I was the new girl who didn’t know any better and was an easy lay. And who could resist a piece of ass only a few yards away? I had made it all too easy for him. I knew his reputation. I was warned. And I just walked right into the woman trap that is Colton Lassiter.

  I have no one to blame but myself.

  I’m awake all night just thinking… about everything. Colton is free to live his life however he sees fit. He absolutely has every right to do whatever he wants, with whomever he pleases. He owes me nothing.

  Doesn’t mean I have to like it. Doesn’t mean I have to sit here and watch it. Doesn’t mean my heart isn’t absolutely breaking right now, and I feel like the biggest idiot who has ever lived. Again.

  I sit here in the dark waiting for the sun to come up. I was never planning on staying here forever anyways. This was only supposed to be a brief interlude, a getaway until things calmed down. Maybe I can start over somewhere else and pretend these past four months never happened.

  I just need the sun to come up.

  After what seems like an eternity, the sky begins to glow again. Now that I know what I must do, my mind feels more clear than it has in a long time. I decide to go for a quick walk around the gardens, just to get some fresh air.

  I’ve decided to wait a little while longer to call Stacia, but I’ve already left a message on Sheldon’s work line. He can’t hear that phone from his personal quarters, so it won’t disturb him.

  I sit on the marble bench staring at the Three Fates, wondering what it all means. As the sky comes alive with the new day, I finally decide it’s time to call Stacia.

  “’Lo? C
ady? What is it?” She sounds half-asleep and groggy, but I can hear the concern in her voice. I start to tear up.

  “I really need you.”

  “What is it? What’s wrong?” She’s alarmed now, and fully wide-awake.

  I shake my head, irritated at myself for getting emotional again. I had thought I was past it, but hearing her voice...

  “I just need my best friend right now,” I whisper.

  I look up, and suddenly I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut. Colton is walking down the path toward the garage, his arm slung over Jessica Rabbit’s shoulder. She’s leaning into his side as they go around the corner and out of sight. I think I’m going to be sick.

  “Cady? What is it… did something happen?”

  I can’t answer right away. “I need your help,” I finally croak out.

  “Is it a code red?” Stacia asks.

  No matter how shitty I feel right now, I’m not going to blow this totally out of proportion.

  “No… more of a code yellow,” I say quietly.

  “That’s enough for me. Can you get away from work for a while?”

  I gulp and nod, tears now streaming down my face. “I already left the message. I told him I had an emergency out of town, and I’d be gone through the weekend.” I can’t imagine Sheldon being too upset over me missing two days, especially since he was just commenting on how ahead of schedule I was.

  “How long ‘til you can be at the nearest airport?”

  “Three, four hours. I need to shower, pack, get a cab…”

  “You start doing that. I’ll take care of everything else. You’ll be here well before dinner.”

  I feel my throat tightening up again, and I wipe my cheeks. “Thanks, Stace.”

  “It’ll be fine. You know I’ve always got your back, girl.”

  The next several hours pass in a blur. It’s totally surreal to think that barely two hours ago I was in Sweet Oak, South Carolina, and now here I am circling high above the Statue of Liberty. I’d managed to get a nap in once the plane took off, but just a tiny one.

  Just as Stacia promised, a car service is waiting to take me from La Guardia into Brooklyn. The sights and sounds are almost overwhelming… people rushing… cars honking… and the persistent sound of jackhammers everywhere. At least my driver is nice, but a bit hard to understand with his thick accent.

  Finally we reach Stacia’s building. I give the driver his tip, then locate the key that she’d stashed in the bushes and enter the building access code. When I finally walk into her apartment, I almost start crying again.

  Everything is so familiar. I glance around and see many reminders of our shared life together, from the vase I gave her for her birthday several years ago, to the silly pictures of the two of us lined up along her mantle.

  Even more mementos are in her bedroom. Somehow it’s comforting, and I’m already starting to feel a little better. I go over to the other bedroom and dump my bags on the floor. The clock on the wall says it’s just past 4 o’clock. Stacia had said she wouldn’t be home until at least 7 o’clock because of an important meeting she had to attend, and told me to just relax and make myself at home while I wait for her.

  So I kick off my shoes, curl up on the comfortable bed, and fall fast asleep.

  Chapter 28.

  There’s a gentle nudging. “Cady… Cady…”

  I open my eyes. It’s dark in this room, but some light spills in from the hallway and I see her.

  “Stacia!” I throw my arms around her in a big hug, and she squeezes me right back. Finally, I pull back and look at her. “I’ve missed your goofy face.”

  “And I’ve missed your spazzy hair,” she cracks, flipping up a curly lock. We both smile at each other and quickly hug again.

  “Hope it’s okay I woke you,” she says. “I wasn’t sure, since you said you’d been up all night. But I figured you wouldn’t want to wake up at two in the morning or something.”

  I shake my head. “No, I’m fine. Just needed a quick power nap.”

  “How was the trip up here?”

  “Good. So easy and fast! Thanks for setting it all up.”

  “Of course.” She glances around. “Are you hungry?”

  “Starving.” On cue my stomach growls, and we both laugh.

  “Okay, wanna go out or stay in? We can have practically anything we want delivered.”

  I scrunch my face. “Let’s stay in.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  We make our way into the spacious living room, flop down on the couch, and start perusing through her stack of takeout menus. We finally decide on a pizza. No big surprise there.

  While we wait for our food to arrive, she shows me around her apartment, and I tell her about my paintings and the gallery. I know she’s wondering why I’m here and what’s really bothering me, but she doesn’t pry. She just waits for me to get around to it when I’m ready.

  I really like her place. It’s just so… Stacia. Her street is relatively quiet, and there are trees outside the numerous oversized windows. The apartment itself is huge, over twice the size of my place, with glossy hardwood floors and all the latest upgrades. But at the same time it’s simple, cozy and down to earth.

  After we gorge ourselves silly on several slices of pepperoni with extra cheese, Stacia pours us some wine and we head out onto the terrace. It’s a bit chilly, so we each grab a blanket to wrap around us as we sit on the outdoor sofa.

  It’s crazy how different Brooklyn is from Sweet Oak. Like a whole other world. But I can see why she loves it. We sit and enjoy the sounds of the city at night, and by the time I finish my first glass of wine, I’m ready to talk.

  “I think I just got really scared,” I begin. “Everything in my life, what I thought I knew to be real, changed so drastically in a matter of just a few months— my relationship with Brandon, my career, you leaving, and not just for a year but for forever—”

  “I’m always right here,” Stacia says softly.

  I look at her. “I know. But it’s different.”

  She nods quietly.

  I take a deep breath. “And it has also became really, painfully apparent to me that I don’t have a family,” I say, my voice quieter now. “Not really. My mother… she’s never going to be a real mother to me, and my dad checked out years ago. I feel like I don’t have a home… no roots. Like I’m just blowing around, and so the slightest breeze knocks me off course.”

  “These past several months have been crazy, that’s for sure,” she murmurs. “But isn’t it kind of exciting at the same time? Brandon’s out of the picture. Now you’re free to build the kind of life you want for yourself. What you want. Not him, or his parents, or your parents. You.”

  I roll my eyes. “Yeah… easier said than done.”

  “Ha! Who said it was easy? It’s the hardest fucking thing ever! But so totally worth it. Creating this new life for myself, on my own, in a new city, doing a job that exceeds my dreams daily... it’s the hardest, scariest, most thrilling, most rewarding thing I’ve ever had to do!”

  “But you’re doing fine. Totally kicking ass. Me… not so much.”

  “I think you’re probably doing a whole lot better than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

  I shrug and pour some more wine in my glass.

  “What’s his name?” she asks quietly.

  So far I’ve avoided telling her anything about Colton. No particular reason, just hadn’t felt the need to share this part of my life just yet. I’ve wanted to keep it all to myself.

  But now I’m ready to tell her everything. I take a long sip.

  “Colton Lassiter.”

  I don’t know how long we talk, well after the bottle of merlot is empty and we’ve left the chill of the night air for the cozy warmth of the indoor fireplace. I tell it all, from my accident, to him waking me to check for a concussion, to seeing his weird scars… and his weirder reaction. I tell her about seeing him with different girls, and how he boug
ht all my cookies. The way he set up the meeting at the art gallery. The fact that he didn’t tell me he owned the Manor. And about the drunk girl who was at his place all night… Everything.

  Well, almost everything.

  What I don’t tell her about is the way he’d look at me, like he’d never seen anything so beautiful before. Or the way he touched me, like I was a priceless sculpture created for him alone. The way he kissed me, that filled my soul with a yearning fire. Or the way he made love to me, like I was a goddess to be worshipped and desired. That stuff is for me alone.

  “And you’re sure she spent the night there?” Stacia asks.

  I nod glumly. “Yeah, I saw them leaving his place together this morning. He had his arm around her, and they were looking pretty snuggly.”

  She lets out a low whistle. “Man, that’s harsh. Especially after what you went through with Brandon.”

  I curl up in a ball in the corner of the couch and wrap the blanket around me as I stare at the crackling fire. “So you understand why I’m so screwed up right now? Everything’s out of whack. I felt like I had to get out of there. And now I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to stay there, especially if I have that to look forward to.” Just the thought of seeing girl after girl prance through the courtyard to get to Colton’s place makes me feel sick again.

  “Well, that’s why there’s an old and wise saying, ‘don’t shit where you eat’… or in your case, sleep.”

  I roll my eyes. “Very helpful. I didn’t plan for it to happen. It just did.”

  She smirks and repositions herself on the oversized chair, tucking her long legs beneath her. “As these things often do. Look, Cady, you’ve only really been with Brandon, and now this guy, so you don’t have a ton of dating experience with men. Allow me to share with you what I’ve learned from my many, many, many mistakes.”

  “I’m all ears.”

  She clears her throat and props herself up on some pillows. Then she smiles. “Don’t jump to any conclusions. Any of a million things could be going on with him, with her… who knows? You won’t know till you talk to him about it.”