The Simoqin Prophecies

by Samit Basu

  ‘You’re making me look bad. If you pass me, Erkila will never send me the good ones again.’

  ‘I’m sorry, but I had no choice. Now please let me go.’

  The Sphinx looked at him for a while, and made up her mind.

  ‘No,’ she said.

  ‘Get off her!’ shouted Maya.

  Queeen struggled wildly in the grip of a man. Well, he would have been a man if he hadn’t been very dead. He was an interesting shade of purple-green, and bits were falling off as Queeen squirmed in his grasp. He obviously had no intention of letting her go, so Maya hurled a fireball at him. The thing let go of Queeen, and danced around the platform, burning in the angry red flame. He fell off the edge and hurtled downwards, finally landing with a thump on a platform far below. The burning corpse lit up the maze of stairs much brighter than Maya’s fireball–in the red glow from below, Maya saw that they were in the middle of a cobweb of floating staircases, straight and spiral, connected by platforms or ending in midair. It was a mind-boggling, dizzying spectacle – a mesh of stone that would make ordinary people stumble and fall off the platform at the very sight of it.

  But Maya and Queeen stayed on their feet, because they had lived in Kol for years, and no three-dimensional maze could be as terrifying as Kol traffic. The only difference was that if the spectacle of Kol overwhelmed you, you could sit on the footpath for a while, but here you would go hurtling to your death in the yawning chasm or break your neck on a staircase.

  Another dead man leapt off a staircase above them, groaning, and met another fireball. He slumped down and lay burning and screaming on the stairway they had just descended, lighting up the network of stairs above them. In the light they saw two more undead stomping slowly down the stairs to the left. The light draws them.

  ‘Stay back!’ she yelled, advancing, twin fireballs appearing on her hands.

  One of the undead held his palm out in a gesture of parley and stepped forward. ‘Do not throw that fire, child!’ he groaned, stepping forward. ‘We mean you no harm.’

  He was now somewhere between green and grey, but he had once been handsome. His hair had fallen off in clumps, and one of his eyeballs was dangling from its socket near his rugged jaw. He wore rusted Psomedean armour.

  ‘It has been a long time since I saw a woman,’ he wheezed, ‘ and a pretty one at that.’

  ‘Not one more step,’ said Maya quietly. The fireballs hissed, wanting to be released.

  ‘Not all of us speak the language, dear, so do not kill me,’ said the newcomer. ‘For I can help you.’ But his other eye kept stealing glances at Queeen, and his grey tongue started dribbling green slime on the platform. ‘I am Thoseus, hero of Psomedea. Treat me well, for soon you will join our ranks, and it would serve you well to have me as a friend.’

  ‘I’ve heard of you!’ said Maya. ‘You went out in search of a minotaur centuries ago, and were never seen again! How did you end up here?’

  ‘Wrong maze,’ said Thoseus. ‘And I lost the thread with which I hoped to solve it. If you enter the Maze of the Great Pyramid, you can only escape if you find the Pharaoh’s burial chamber, and if you fail, you do not leave – you cannot see in this accursed darkness, and now you are doomed to stay here forever. When your body dies, the spirits will take over, and you will guard the maze with us. Your pretty blue light will not shine long, child. Soon weariness will take over, and we can wait forever for you to get tired. One day, you will sit down. Then one of us will take you, child, and you will die, and dying you will join us and walk this maze for all eternity. But I could make things so much easier for you.’

  ‘How many of you are there?’ asked Maya, seeing more dead men lurching slowly along the stairs that zigzagged around the platform.

  ‘None have counted our ranks, but there are enough,’ said Thoseus, taking a step forward. ‘What is your name?’

  ‘Stay back,’ hissed Maya.

  ‘Do not resist me, child,’ said Thoseus, his eye gleaming. ‘Let me bring you into the shadow-world. For I retain my sanity even here, as I entered with noble intentions. Others have not been so lucky. There are many who came here looking for the Pharaoh’s treasure and could not get out. Gold-lust drove them mad. If they take you, you will suffer forever!’ He jerked his head at the figure behind him and one of his ears fell off. ‘The one behind me is not so friendly, child. If he takes you, you will regret it, believe me.’ His eyeball fell off and bounced off the platform. ‘Much, much better to let me do it, child. Then you can sleep in peace before you walk with us.’

  ‘Stay back. And what do you mean, take me?’

  ‘One kiss,’ said Thoseus, ‘and I will tell you.’ He lurched forward again, and grabbed Queeen. ‘Perhaps your friend is more reasonable.’

  ‘Men,’ sighed Maya. She released the fireballs, and watched Thoseus burn as he fell far below.

  The next undead stepped on to the platform.

  ‘Good form, I say!’ he rumbled cheerfully. ‘Never liked that old blighter. Rambling on about missing bulls – all Psomedean to me, of course.’

  ‘You are mad,’ said Maya. ‘Stay back, please.’

  ‘Oh come on, love, play fair! Let’s not have any of this fire business, what? Oh, I forgot to introduce myself.’

  ‘No need. You’re from Ventelot.’

  ‘Oh, good guess, love! But I’m more than that – I’m a Level Two Paladin, and I’ve got more than half my Hit Points left!’

  ‘Go away.’

  ‘I’m asking you not to start a Deathmatch, love, because I don’t want to eat you. I mean, I know I’m dead, but I’m frightfully hungry, to tell the truth. Let’s team up! I’m due for a level rise any day now. And co-operative games are so much more fun.’

  ‘Do you understand what he’s saying?’ Maya asked Queeen. Queeen shook her head. Maya shrugged her shoulders and sent the Level Two Paladin flying backwards in flames.

  ‘This maze opens to the burial chamber, somewhere,’ she said. ‘But that horrible thing was right – we cannot search forever in the darkness. We need a plan.’ She looked down and saw that the undead she had burned were still glowing, and a good portion of the maze was lit up. ‘Of course, if we removed the darkness…You know, if we could just manage to see the whole maze, we could actually solve it, find the right route and walk through, instead of climbing thousands of stairs hunting pointlessly. In that sense, this maze is easier than walking through hedges and tunnels – all we have to do is light it up, and then we can work out how to escape. But how do we light it up? We could keep burning these corpses, I suppose, but how do we get past burning undead on the staircases?’

  She thought for a while. Then she looked at Queeen. ‘I know it’s rude,’ she said, ‘but you’re related to werewolves in some way, aren’t you?’ Queeen shuddered, but nodded. Maya smiled.

  ‘Which is why fire doesn’t affect you much, right? The first thing was pawing you all over when I blasted him, and you weren’t even hurt.’ Queeen nodded again.

  ‘Well, there’s our answer!’ said Maya.

  Queeen stared at her blankly.

  ‘I burn them, you kick them off or something, and then we get out,’ said Maya, practically skipping around on the platform in excitement, ‘But this maze is rather large, so we need a direction to start working in–we need to know where the tomb is. And if you, my friend, are wondering where the tomb is, why, I have an answer for that as well. The best mazes have their starts and ends marked, yes?’

  She conjured up a Thrillseeker and threw it up into the air. It flew towards the right and disappeared.

  ‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but the Scorpion Man is probably the most magical thing in this pyramid, and if my Thrillseeker is to be believed, we will find him if we walk that way. Do you agree?’

  Queeen shook her head vehemently.

  ‘Well, do you have a better idea?’

  Queeen nodded vigorously.

  ‘Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, but you don’t know anythin
g. We’re doing this. And now for some light.’

  She threw fireballs around randomly. Some disappeared into the darkness and fizzled out, but a large number caught stray undead lurching around on platforms and staircases. Soon the entire maze to their right was alight, and burning corpses stumbled up and down the staircases all around them. And whenever other undead crossed the burning ones, they would burst into flames as well. Spellbinder fire burned almost anything.

  ‘They say I’m the most brilliant young spellbinder in Kol,’ said Maya, whipping out a chalk and sitting on the platform with a satisfied grin. ‘You know, Queeen, sometimes I think they’re right.’

  She looked around, ignoring the undead falling in flames everywhere, and began to draw.

  ‘Well, ask me something else, then,’ said Gaam.

  ‘I don’t have to,’ snarled the Sphinx. ‘I could just kill you here, and no one would ever know.’

  ‘What would no one ever know?’ asked Erkila. She trotted up to them, cat-shaped, and sat. ‘Why are you taking so long?’

  ‘I haven’t asked him the riddle, Erkila’, said the Sphinx, bowing.

  ‘Well, go ahead.’

  ‘Just ask me anything you can think of,’ said Gaam kindly.

  The Sphinx leaned forward. ‘What have I got in my pockets?’ she asked, an insane glare in her eyes.

  ‘That’s not a riddle, that’s a question!’ said Gaam indignantly.

  ‘Well, you said she could ask you anything,’ said Erkila smoothly. ‘So you have to answer her. But I admit it’s a little strange. Where did you get this riddle?’ she asked the Sphinx.

  ‘I don’t remember. Possibly from someone I ate,’ murmured the Sphinx. ‘Well, mortal?’

  ‘Are you sure you want me to answer your riddle?’ asked Gaam.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘And you will let me go if I answer correctly?’

  The Sphinx shot a look at Erkila, watching them calmly. ‘Yes,’ she said.

  ‘Very well. When I saw you first, I noticed that like all Sphinxes, you are half woman and half lioness. Also, like all Sphinxes, you do not wear clothes. Since you do not wear clothes, you have no pockets. Therefore, you cannot possibly have anything in your pockets.’ He bowed. ‘A somewhat impulsive question, if I may say so.’

  ‘There’s no need to gloat,’ grumbled the Sphinx. She padded off, leaving Gaam with Erkila.

  ‘You pass the test. I will take you to the burial chamber,’ said Erkila, turning into a vulture and seizing Gaam by the shoulders. ‘You may await the rest there.’

  Forty-six skulls lay on the floor of the corridor. Asvin trampled over them, looking desperately for Steel-bunz.

  ‘Fluffy!’ he yelled. ‘Fluffy, please, come out!’ But he called in vain. Tears sprang to his eyes.

  Together they had vanquished five columns of the undead soldiers, and then the skeletons had started coming in fours. There were twenty left, five columns of four each.

  Asvin and Steel-bunz had fended off the first three attacks, but in the last charge, Steel-bunz had disappeared underneath the pile of bones that had accumulated during the fight. A huge skeleton had crashed down over him, sword in hand.

  He had not come out.

  The last four skeletons were the tallest of them all. They advanced on Asvin, who could barely stand up. But he waved his sword defiantly at them, ignoring his wounds.

  ‘I will avenge you, sweet Fluffy,’ he said through his tears. ‘Your death will not be in vain.’

  He swayed where he stood and almost fell, but then gathered himself up and charged.

  The burial chamber of the First Pharaoh was not the most magnificent room Gaam had ever seen, since the vamans did opulence and architecture much better, but it wasn’t bad by any standards. The Pharaoh’s sarcophagus lay in the centre, the solid gold death-mask shining in the light that burned in the eyes of the statues of the gods. There were beautiful paintings and carvings on the walls, showing the Pharaoh giving gifts to the gods, playing senet and conquering other lands. The ceiling showed the sky, and the birth and death of the sun. The airshaft, through which the Pharaoh’s soul was supposed to rise to meet the gods, was inlaid with gold.

  By the tomb of the Pharaoh stood richly decorated canopic jars, where the internal organs of the ruler were preserved, precious jewel-studded magical amulets and shabti figures representing the workers who had built the Pyramid. In one corner stood a golden boat, which would carry the Pharaoh to the land of the dead, where the gods would weigh his heart against the Feather of Truth. Gaam noted the deeply engraved hieroglyphs that recorded the Pharaoh’s name. Speaking the name aloud would, according to the legend, bring him back to life. Gaam wondered if one day the Scorpion Man would truly stop his prayers, come to the chamber and wake the Pharaoh up.

  A trapdoor set in the floor opened suddenly and Maya and Queeen walked up into the burial chamber. Queeen ran over to Gaam and stood by him, head bent, crying silently. Maya followed her in, walked up to Gaam and folded her arms.

  ‘Explain,’ she said.

  ‘In a minute,’ said Gaam. He gave Queeen a small vial, the contents of which she drank. Gaam patted her on the head. ‘It’s all right, Queeen, I don’t blame you,’ he said gently. ‘There was nothing you could do.’

  They watched in silence as Queeen fell to the floor and started writhing again. Her shape changed, fur sprouted, her tail reappeared and soon she was a dog again. She ran up to Maya, barked and licked her hand.

  ‘You obviously knew all along. Now tell me everything,’ said Maya to Gaam.

  ‘Queeen is a werewoman.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘A werewoman. You know werewolves are humans who turn into wolves when they see the moon. Queeen is at the other end of the scale. She’s a wolf, but when there’s no moon, she turns into a woman.’

  ‘Where did you find her?’

  ‘I saved her from a pack of hunting wolves in Skuanmark. She has been my companion ever since.’

  ‘Your companion?’ Maya raised her eyebrows.

  ‘I see Queeen as a wolf who is sometimes ill. Nothing more,’ snapped Gaam.

  ‘But isn’t it a problem? Hasn’t something like this happened before?’

  ‘No. The potion I gave her always turns her back into a wolf. We’ve never had a problem –she would just stay indoors with me on moonless nights, and drink the potion whenever she felt the change coming. Unfortunately, when we were in the Bleakwood, Asvin saw her. It was partly her fault – she went far away to change, as I had trained her to do, but she was singing, and Asvin heard her.’

  ‘Does she always sing? Don’t people hear that?’

  ‘No. The poor girl was singing because she has been in love with Asvin since the day we left Kol.’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘I was afraid you would find out,’ said Gaam. ‘Fortunately, neither of you followed her tracks in the woods, and Asvin never noticed how he would always meet me and Queeen after he saw the girl. I will make sure Queeen never runs wild again. She always listened to me in the past, but after she saw that Asvin was obviously enamoured of her as well, she broke out of the hut in Bolvudis, twice, so that he could hear her singing in the woods. I thought we were safe, but I knew it would all go wrong when you got involved. Maya, please don’t tell Asvin about this. It would break Queeen’s heart.’

  ‘Your secret is safe with me, Queeen,’ said Maya solemnly to the wolf, and she wagged her tail happily.

  There was one skeletal warrior left, and he was the worst of the lot. He had already injured Asvin several times. Asvin’s feet dragged, his sword-arm was numb and he could hardly see through the haze of blood.

  The last warrior threw him down to the ground, and raised his sword to deliver the killing blow.

  Here it ends, thought Asvin, and heard a sickening crash as bone hit bone. Then everything turned black, and he saw no more.

  He opened his eyes and sat up. Erkila was perched on a statue, watching him gravely with he
r black eyes. She has won. I must be undead. I will have to spend the rest of time losing weight and standing on guard in this corridor.

  He looked around, and saw that the last skeletal warrior was lying on the floor. I suppose I must congratulate him, if we are going to be brothers in arms. Well, brothers in bones, anyway.

  He suddenly noticed that one of the skeleton’s legs was missing.

  And its neck was bent oddly, as if someone or something had snapped it.

  He was aware of a moist nose pressed into his hands.

  ‘Fluffy!’ he cried as joy and realization flooded through him. ‘You saved me!’

  At least you have the grace to admit it. There’s hope for you yet, lad.

  ‘You know,’ said Asvin, ‘the name Fluffy doesn’t suit you. Together we have slain fifty undead soldiers. Fluffy and Asvin? It doesn’t sound right. I will have to think of another name for you.’ He knitted his brows.

  That’s it. He names me something like Mr. Snuggles, and I break his neck.

  A few seconds passed.

  Far away, somewhere in the gambling dens of the heavens, Petah-Petyi, the Goddess of Chance, sat alone at a table, because no one would play with her. She always won. She held two million-sided die in her hands, and threw them on the table.

  The dice rolled for an eternity, then finally settled. She looked at them. ‘Double One,’ she murmured. ‘That almost never happens.’

  ‘I think,’ said Asvin, ‘that I will name you Steel-bunz.’

  It was the happiest moment of Steel-bunz’s life.

  Erkila took Asvin in the Pharaoh’s burial chamber, and Maya cast healing spells on him.

  ‘You are mightier that I thought,’ said Erkila in her low, melodious cat-voice. ‘You have passed the tests of the Great Pyramid, and the treasures of the Pharaoh are now yours. Take as much as you want. There is enough there to make your wildest dreams come true.’

  ‘Why do you still try to trick us, spirit?’ asked Gaam angrily. ‘We know as well as you do that a potent curse lies on that gold, and the Scorpion Man himself will hunt down all those who touch it. Tell us no more lies, please – we are weary, and we would like to see the Scorpion Man.’