by W. W. Jacobs
the hiding-place. At every suggestionMr. Chase's smile only got broader and more indulgent.
"You leave it to me," he said. "You leave it to me, and when you comehome from a happy outing I 'ope to be able to cross your little hand withthree 'undred golden quids."
"But why not tell me?" urged Mr. Teak.
"'Cos I want to surprise you," was the reply. "But mind, whatever youdo, don't let your wife run away with the idea that I've been mixed up init at all. Now, if you worry me any more I shall ask you to make itthirty pounds for me instead of twenty."
The two friends parted at the corner of the road on Saturday afternoon,and Mr. Teak, conscious of his friend's impatience, sought to hurry hiswife by occasionally calling the wrong time up the stairs. She came downat last, smiling, in a plain hat with three roses, two bows, and afeather.
"I've had the feather for years," she remarked. "This is the fourth hatit has been on--but, then, I've taken care of it."
Mr. Teak grunted, and, opening the door, ushered her into the street. Asense of adventure, and the hope of a profitable afternoon made hisspirits rise. He paid a compliment to the hat, and then, to the surpriseof both, followed it up with another--a very little one--to his wife.
They took a tram at the end of the street, and for the sake of the airmounted to the top. Mrs. Teak leaned back in her seat with placidenjoyment, and for the first ten minutes amused herself with the life inthe streets. Then she turned suddenly to her husband and declared thatshe had felt a spot of rain.
"'Magination," he said, shortly.
Something cold touched him lightly on the eyelid, a tiny patteringsounded from the seats, and then swish, down came the rain. With anangry exclamation he sprang up and followed his wife below.
"Just our luck," she said, mournfully. "Best thing we can do is to stayin the car and go back with it."
"Nonsense!" said her husband, in a startled' voice; "it'll be over in aminute."
Events proved the contrary. By the time the car reached the terminus itwas coming down heavily. Mrs. Teak settled herself squarely in her seat,and patches of blue sky, visible only to the eye of faith and herhusband, failed to move her. Even his reckless reference to a cabfailed.
"It's no good," she said, tartly. "We can't go about the grounds in acab, and I'm not going to slop about in the wet to please anybody. Wemust go another time. It's hard luck, but there's worse things in life."
Mr. Teak, wondering as to the operations of Mr. Chase, agreed dumbly. Hestopped the car at the corner of their road, and, holding his head downagainst the rain, sprinted towards home. Mrs. Teak, anxious for her hat,passed him.
"What on earth's the matter?" she inquired, fumbling in her pocket forthe key as her husband executed a clumsy but noisy breakdown on the frontstep.
"Chill," replied Mr. Teak. "I've got wet."
He resumed his lumberings and, the door being opened, gave vent to hisrelief at being home again in the dry, in a voice that made the windowsrattle. Then with anxious eyes he watched his wife pass upstairs.
"Wonder what excuse old Alf'll make for being in?" he thought.
He stood with one foot on the bottom stair, listening acutely. He hearda door open above, and then a wild, ear-splitting shriek rang through thehouse. Instinctively he dashed upstairs and, following his wife intotheir bedroom, stood by her side gaping stupidly at a pair of legsstanding on the hearthstone. As he watched they came backwards into theroom, the upper part of a body materialized from the chimney, and turninground revealed the soot-stained face of Mr. Alfred Chase. Another wildshriek from Mrs. Teak greeted its appearance.
"Hul-lo!" exclaimed Mr. Teak, groping for the right thing to say."Hul-lo! What--what are you doing, Alf?"
Mr. Chase blew the soot from his lips. "I--I--I come 'ome unexpected,"he stammered.
"But--what are--you doing?" panted Mrs. Teak, in a rising voice.
"I--I was passing your door," said Mr. Chase, "passing your door--to goto my room to--to 'ave a bit of a rinse, when--"
"Yes," said Mrs. Teak.
Mr. Chase gave Mr. Teak a glance the pathos of which even the soot couldnot conceal. "When I--I heard a pore little bird struggling in yourchimbley," he continued, with a sigh of relief. "Being fond of animals,I took the liberty of comin' into your room and saving its life."
Mr. Teak drew a breath, which he endeavoured in vain to render noiseless.
"It got its pore little foot caught in the brickwork," continued theveracious Mr. Chase, tenderly. "I released it, and it flowed--I meanflew--up the chimbley."
With the shamefaced air of a man detected in the performance of a nobleaction, he passed out of the room. Husband and wife eyed each other.
"That's Alf--that's Alf all over," said Mr. Teak, with enthusiasm. "He'sbeen like it from a child. He's the sort of man that 'ud dive offWaterloo Bridge to save the life of a drownding sparrow."
"He's made an awful mess," said his wife, frowning; "it'll take me therest of the day to clean up. There's soot everywhere. The rug is quitespoilt."
She took off her hat and jacket and prepared for the fray. Down belowMessrs. Teak and Chase, comparing notes, sought, with much warmth, toput the blame on the right shoulders.
"Well, it ain't there," said Mr. Chase, finally. "I've made sure ofthat. That's something towards it. I shan't 'ave to look there again,thank goodness."
Mr. Teak sniffed. "Got any more ideas?" he queried.
"I have," said the other sternly. "There's plenty of places to searchyet. I've only just begun. Get her out as much as you can and I'll 'avemy hands on it afore you can say--"
"Soot?" suggested Mr. Teak, sourly.
"Any more of your nasty snacks and I chuck it up altogether," said Mr.Chase, heatedly. "If I wasn't hard up I'd drop it now."
He went up to his room in dudgeon, and for the next few days Mr. Teak sawbut little of him. To, lure Mrs. Teak out was almost as difficult as topersuade a snail to leave its shell, but he succeeded on two or threeoccasions, and each time she added something to her wardrobe.
The assistant fortune-hunter had been in residence just a month when Mr.Teak, returning home one afternoon, stood in the small passage listeningto a suppressed wailing noise proceeding from upstairs. It was so creepythat half-way up he hesitated, and, in a stern but trembling voice,demanded to know what his wife meant by it. A louder wail than beforewas the only reply, and, summoning up his courage, he pushed open thedoor of the bedroom and peeped in. His gaze fell on Mrs. Teak, who wassitting on the hearth-rug, rocking to and fro in front of a dismantledfire-place.
"What--what's the matter?" he said, hastily.
Mrs. Teak raised her voice to a pitch that set his teeth on edge. "Mymoney!" she wailed. "It's all gone! All gone!"
"Money?" repeated Mr. Teak, hardly able to contain himself. "Whatmoney?"
"All--all my savings!" moaned his wife. "Savings!" said the delightedMr. Teak. "What savings?"
"Money I have been putting by for our old age," said his wife. "Threehundred and twenty-two pounds. All gone!"
In a fit of sudden generosity Mr. Teak decided then and there that Mr.Chase should have the odd twenty-two pounds.
"You're dreaming!" he said, sternly.
"I wish I was," said his wife, wiping her eyes. "Three hundred andtwenty-two pounds in empty mustard-tins. Every ha'penny's gone!"
Mr. Teak's eye fell on the stove. He stepped for ward and examined it.The back was out, and Mrs. Teak, calling his attention to a tunnel at theside, implored him to put his arm in and satisfy himself that it wasempty.
"But where could you get all that money from?" he demanded, after aprolonged groping.
"Sa--sa--saved it," sobbed his wife, "for our old age."
"Our old age?" repeated Mr. Teak, in lofty tones. "And suppose I haddied first? Or suppose you had died sudden? This is what comes ofdeceitfulness and keeping things from your husband. Now somebody hasstole it."
Mrs. Teak bent her
head and sobbed again. "I--I had just been out for--for an hour," she gasped. "When I came back I fou--fou--found thewashhouse window smashed, and--"
Sobs choked her utterance. Mr. Teak, lost in admiration of Mr. Chase'scleverness, stood regarding her in silence.
"What--what about the police?" said his wife at last.
"Police!" repeated Mr. Teak, with extraordinary vehemence.
