by W. W. Jacobs
"Police!Certainly not. D'ye think I'm going to let it be known all round thatI'm the husband of a miser? I'd sooner lose ten times the money."
He stalked solemnly out of the room and downstairs, and, safe in theparlour, gave vent to his feelings in a wild but silent hornpipe. Hecannoned against the table at last, and, subsiding into an easy-chair,crammed his handkerchief to his mouth and gave way to suppressed mirth.
In his excitement he forgot all about tea, and the bereaved Mrs. Teakmade no attempt to come downstairs to prepare it. With his eye on theclock he waited with what patience he might for the arrival of Mr. Chase.The usual hour for his return came and went. Another hour passed; andanother. A horrible idea that Mr. Chase had been robbed gave way to onemore horrible still. He paced the room in dismay, until at nine o'clockhis wife came down, and in a languid fashion began to set thesupper-table.
"Alf's very late," said Mr. Teak, thickly.
"Is he?" said his wife, dully.
"Very late," said Mr. Teak. "I can't think--Ah, there he is!"
He took a deep breath and clenched 'his hands together. By the time Mr.Chase came into the room he was able to greet him with a stealthy wink.Mr. Chase, with a humorous twist of his mouth, winked back.
"We've 'ad a upset," said Mr. Teak, in warning tones.
"Eh?" said the other, as Mrs. Teak threw her apron over her head and sankinto a chair. "What about?"
In bated accents, interrupted at times by broken murmurs from his wife,Mr. Teak informed him of the robbery. Mr. Chase, leaning against thedoorpost, listened with open mouth and distended eyeballs. Occasionalinterjections of pity and surprise attested his interest. The talefinished, the gentlemen exchanged a significant wink and sighed inunison.
"And now," said Mr. Teak an hour later, after his wife had retired,"where is it?"
"Ah, that's the question," said Mr. Chase, roguishly. "I wonder where itcan be?"
"I--I hope it's in a safe place," said Mr. Teak, anxiously. "Where 'aveyou put it?"
"Me?" said Mr. Chase. "Who are you getting at? I ain't put itanywhere. You know that."
"Don't play the giddy goat," said the other, testily. "Where've you hidit? Is it safe?"
Mr. Chase leaned back in his chair and, shaking his head at him, smiledapprovingly. "You're a little wonder, that's what you are, Gussie," heremarked. "No wonder your pore wife is took in so easy."
Mr. Teak sprang up in a fury. "Don't play the fool," he said hoarsely."Where's the money? I want it. Now, where've you put it?"
"Go on," said Mr. Chase, with a chuckle. "Go on. Don't mind me. Youought to be on the stage, Gussie, that's where you ought to be."
"I'm not joking," said Mr. Teak, in a trembling voice, "and I don't wantyou to joke with me. If you think you are going off with my money,you're mistook. If you don't tell me in two minutes where it is, I shallgive you in charge for theft."
"Oh" said Mr. Chase. He took a deep breath. "Oh, really!" he said. "Iwouldn't 'ave thought it of you, Gussie. I wouldn't 'ave thought you'dhave played it so low down. I'm surprised at you."
"You thought wrong, then," said the other.
"Trying to do me out o' my twenty pounds, that's what you are," said Mr.Chase, knitting his brows. "But it won't do, my boy. I wasn't bornyesterday. Hand it over, afore I lose my temper. Twenty pounds I wantof you, and I don't leave this room till I get it."
Speechless with fury, Mr. Teak struck at him. The next moment thesupper-table was overturned with a crash, and Mr. Chase, with his friendin his powerful grasp, was doing his best, as he expressed it, to shakethe life out of him. A faint scream sounded from above, steps patteredon the stairs, and Mrs. Teak, with a red shawl round her shoulders, burst'hurriedly into the room. Mr. Chase released Mr. Teak, opened his mouthto speak, and then, thinking better of it, dashed into the passage, tookhis hat from the peg, and, slamming the front door with extraordinaryviolence, departed.
He sent round for his clothes next day, but he did not see Mr. Teak untila month afterwards. His fists clenched and his mouth hardened, but Mr.Teak, with a pathetic smile, held out his hand, and Mr. Chase, after amoment's hesitation, took it. Mr. Teak, still holding his friend's hand,piloted him to a neighbouring hostelry.
"It was my mistake, Alf," he said, shaking his head, "but it wasn't myfault. It's a mistake anybody might ha' made."
"Have you found out who took it?" inquired Mr. Chase, regarding himsuspiciously.
Mr. Teak gulped and nodded. "I met Bert Adams yesterday," he said,slowly. "It took three pints afore he told me, but I got it out of 'imat last. My missis took it herself."
Mr. Chase put his mug down with a bang. "What?" he gasped.
"The day after she found you with your head up the chimbley," added Mr.Teak, mournfully. "She's shoved it away in some bank now, and I shallnever see a ha'penny of it. If you was a married man, Alf, you'dunderstand it better. You wouldn't be surprised at anything."
