Forged by Sacrifice Kindle rev 100519

by Evans, LJ

  I kissed the side of his cheek, rough with the scruff that had grown over his face in the course of the two days since he’d shaved. It was enticing, like every single thing about him.

  “Clothes please,” I said.

  “Reality bites.” His voice was as gruff as the beard on his chin.

  I laughed, but I pulled myself from him, picked up his T-shirt from where it had fallen on one of his multiple trips to the kitchen the day before, and the rustle of clothes made him open his eyes and look at me.

  “Clothes bite, too,” he growled.

  “I don’t think you want me arrested for indecent exposure by walking to school naked.”

  He moved fast, coming from the bed and wrapping an arm around me, pulling my chin up so that our eyes met. “I don’t want anyone seeing this body but me.”

  “There you go, being all bossy again.”

  I kissed his rough cheek and pulled away, but he caught my hand, pulling me back to his chest and his arms. “I sort of mean it, though. I don’t want to share you. We’re a thing now, right? You. Me. No one else.”

  I got what he was saying. Monogamous. Relationship. It was going to hurt when it ended.

  “Yes. I agree. You. Me. No one else,” I said. “So, that means you’ll have to call off all the ladies on the Hill who are drooling after you and wanting to be Mrs. Next Senator from Delaware.”

  I’d brought up the politics this time. I hadn’t meant to, but, in truth, it was part of him. Who he was. The notebook from last night showed that more than anything else.

  “There are no droolers,” he said with a smirk.

  “Puhlease. You can’t walk into a room without drool being left behind.”

  “Are you saying I’m sexy, Georgie-Girl?”

  I flicked his chest like I’d seen Dani do. A familiar move. “Don’t let it go to your head, Mac-Macauley.”

  “Too late.”

  I kissed him. A gentle kiss. A kiss that was not goodbye but maybe goodnight, even though it was morning. “I gotta go shower.”

  “We can shower in here,” he said, arms still around me.

  “No. That will take way too much time.”

  His smile was still there. “I’m just as good at the quickies as I am at the all-day thing.”

  “I’m not sure my body can handle any more. Quickie or not.”

  That wiped the smile from his face. “Did I hurt you?”

  My turn to laugh. “No. I’m just sore. Let’s just say that I haven’t done that kind of marathon in a long time.”

  “A long time?” His voice lowered, and I could hear the jealousy as well as the tease in it.

  “Okay, ever.”

  His smile returned. “Good.”

  I pushed out of his arms. “I’ll see you tonight.”

  “I’ll be out of the shower before you will. I’ll have coffee ready.”

  “I usually grab a latte on the way to class.”

  “Fine. I’ll still be out to kiss you goodbye.”

  My turn to smile as happiness filled me again. When was the last time someone waited to say goodbye to me? To kiss me goodbye? Not since Grandma, probably.

  I left to shower, my body sore in ways I couldn’t ever remember except maybe the first time I’d ever had sex in my life. It had been with my lab partner in high school, in his room, hurrying before his parents came home, the forbiddenness of it more enthralling than the act itself.

  Maybe that was what was calling to me with Mac. It should have been forbidden. He should have been off limits to me. Yet he was mesmerizing. Everything about him…including his family.

  When I came out, he was showered, shaved, and in his suit, looking strikingly handsome and just like the man he wanted to be. A young politician. A dynamo in the making.

  He smiled when he saw me, and my heart jumped back into my throat.

  I grabbed my bag, shouldering it, and then met him at the door, the clean scent of his soap and shaving cream barely masking the heady, salty sea smell of him that had permeated the room all weekend.

  “I’m going to miss you,” he said.

  I chuckled. “I’ll be back tonight. You’re kind of stuck with me, seeing as I live here. No escape for the weary.”

  “Thank God.” He kissed my lips—a kiss that spoke of us being apart for days instead of hours.

  I pulled away and left before I couldn’t help but throw my book bag on the ground and stay.

  ♫ ♫ ♫

  I was walking out of my first class, heading to my second, when my phone vibrated.

  THE GUY: Dinner tonight? Anywhere you want to go.

  ME: Better be careful, I might ask to be flown to Paris for dinner.

  THE GUY: I may not be able to swing that tonight, but I damn well would try if that’s really want you wanted.

  ME: **laughing emoji**

  THE GUY: Really. Where do you want to go?

  ME: Honestly, I don’t care. Take me somewhere you like.

  THE GUY: Better be careful, I might take you to a bug bar.

  ME: Bug bar?

  THE GUY: Where they serve bugs.

  ME: You don’t seem like a bug-eating kind of guy. I’m not sure I have anything to worry about.

  THE GUY: You’re right. The thought of eating an ant kind of makes me want to **puke emoji**

  ME: Phew. Saved by the ant.

  THE GUY: Will you be home by six?

  ME: Yes. Will you?

  THE GUY: Lions couldn’t keep me away.

  I was in my next class when my phone buzzed once more. I was just going to harass him about not working when he should be, but it was Raisa.

  RAISA: God. I will be so glad to be away from here.

  ME: What’s up?

  RAISA: Malik and Dad have been fighting even more. Mom has been trying to intervene. It is obnoxious. Stanford, here I come.

  ME: I can’t wait to see you.

  RAISA: Malik the Moody will be with me, but I will get to lose him after he drops me in Palo Alto.

  ME: You’ll miss him as soon as he flies home.

  RAISA: Not for at least a month.

  ME: **laughing emoji**

  I smiled happily at the thought of seeing my siblings this weekend. Then, my smile disappeared as I thought of having to introduce them to Mac. If it had just been Raisa, it would have been easier. But trying to introduce him to both my siblings, especially if Malik was in one of his petulant moods, was not going to be easy. I wished they were as effortlessly acceptable as Mac’s family had been—humor, a Kennedy-like grace, and charm ebbing through them.

  My family had darkness and beauty with a side of humor thrown in. But they were mine. And for however long this lasted with Mac and me, they would be a part of his life, too.

  It made me nervous, but I tried to put all thoughts of his family and my family aside so I could concentrate on the board in front of me.

  Mac

  LAY IT ALL ON ME

  “If it hurts and you can't take no more,

  Lay it all on me.”

  Performed by Rudimental with Ed Sheeran

  Written by Englefield / Izadkhah / Sheeran / Slater / Manson / Newman / Wood / Harris / Dryden / Petersen / Rolle / Mcelligott / Aggett

  I took Georgie out to dinner, but when we got back to the apartment, she said she had to study. I got that. I had a stack of papers in my bag that needed reviewing as well, so we sat on the couch, side by side, knees touching, as we both did homework.

  I was used to homework. I’d done a lot of it at the DoD. I just hadn’t been allowed to take it home with me. I’d had to stay at the Pentagon until it was done. Being able to read the papers as I relaxed in my workout shorts and a T-shirt was much more satisfying. Especially when my legs and hands kept touching Georgie’s skin in the sleep shorts and T-shirt she’d changed into once we’d gotten home.

  This one act, the ability to take work home with me, was probably the only th
ing I’d found to like about being on the Hill since I’d started in August. That thought had me contemplating my life and my goals again in ways that gave me heartburn.

  Dani came in from her workout and flopped down in the armchair.

  “You two look cozy,” she said with a smile.

  “Don’t start or I’ll ask you why Russell looked so disheveled after meeting with you in the conference room today.”

  “Disheveled? Really? And if you’re implying we were having sex in a conference room at the Capitol, you’d be all sorts of wrong. Do you know how many cameras are in those rooms?” She shivered.

  “Maybe not sex,” I said with a laugh.

  She rolled her eyes. “Is that the Blythe study?”

  I nodded.

  “Good, you can catch me up on it tomorrow. I’m going to shower and hit the hay.”

  She left, and I felt slightly guilty. Like I was running my sister out of the room because of whatever was going on with Georgie, but then I reminded myself that Dani would never hold back. If she was uncomfortable, she’d say it.

  “Are you almost done there?” I asked, setting my stack aside.

  “No. I have another chapter to read.”

  “Come read it in bed,” I said.

  She looked up, holding her place with a finger that I wanted to put in my mouth and suck on until she quivered.

  “No way. I know what you do in bed,” she replied with an expression that said she was trying not to smile.

  “I promise,” I said, crossing my heart, “I will not try to have my way with you.”

  “That leaves a pretty wide set of options for you to torment me with.”

  I pulled the book from her lap, and she protested.

  “Come on, Georgie-Girl. I promise. No sex tonight.”

  I dragged her down the hall to my room.

  I pulled off all my clothes, leaving me in my underwear. She eyeballed me as I got into bed. I patted the spot next to me.

  “Don’t you trust me to keep my word?” I asked.

  “Maybe I don’t trust myself.”

  “You said you were sore. I won’t let you harm yourself,” I said, smirking.

  She crawled across the bed, making it hard for me to keep my promise as her T-shirt dipped, showing me a glimpse of tantalizing flesh at the top of her breasts. I swallowed.

  “What’s that look?” she asked.

  I just shook my head, knowing it would kill me and my balls to keep the promise I’d given, but I’d do it anyway. I pounded the pillows and tucked her body next to mine, placing her book on her lap.

  “You know, I don’t expect to stay in here every night,” she said casually, still looking at the words on the page.

  “Why not?”

  “We aren’t moving in together, Mac-Macauley. We’re dating.”

  “I see your point, but it seems absolutely insane for you to sleep in your own bed.”

  “That’s just because you want to have sex daily to soften your morning wood.”

  I laughed. “I just told you, no sex.”

  “You said no sex tonight.”

  “Ah, the lawyer in you, looking for every little nuance,” I teased. “I’ve taken care of my morning wood on my own for twenty-eight years. I don’t have to have sex to help me.”

  She looked up, a soft blush spreading over her cheeks. “Did you just tell me you masturbate every day?”

  I grinned at her. “Not every day.”

  “Wow.”

  “There’s that word again.”

  “I don’t even know how I’m supposed to read now.”

  I laughed and turned on the TV. “I’ll put on something boring.”

  And that was how we fell asleep: with her book still on her chest, the TV turned to the American History Channel, and my body trying hard not to react to the gorgeous woman next to me.

  ♫ ♫ ♫

  The week went by with us in this fashion: dinner together, study together, fall asleep together. I was loving the simplicity of it all. The chance to get to know her that didn’t end after a normal date. We didn’t eat out every night. Georgie cooked one night. I cooked another. But it was just time we got to spend learning the curves of each other’s bodies and souls.

  On Wednesday, she reminded me her brother and sister were flying in the next day. She was nervous, running a hand over her ponytail, not quite meeting my eyes. I grabbed her hands and pulled her up next to me. “Georgie. Stop. It’s going to be fine.”

  “Raisa says Malik has been in a mood.”

  “Do you think my sisters are never in moods? Didn’t you see Dani come home on Tuesday? If she hadn’t gone to work out, I might have thrown something heavy at her.”

  She picked at an invisible lint on my T-shirt and then smoothed it out.

  “What’s really bothering you?” I asked.

  “It’s just… I know how hard it is for you to be linked to someone who comes from my background. If you liked them, it would at least be an easier pill to swallow.”

  It weighed on her heavier than me these days. Her family. The jail sentence and the Russian “businessman.” The drugs her mom had used when Georgie was younger. If Georgie and I made it past the dating phase, and I actually decided to stick to the plan of running for office, it would all come up—every last pea of their mixed goulash of a history. I’d sort of gotten used to the idea. I’d already started running scenarios in my head of ways that we could state the facts, repeatedly, if needed.

  On the other hand, the truth was, every day I spent in Senator Matherton’s office had me liking it less. I was trying to figure out if it was the sleazebags that I saw hitting on Dani, the jostling for position, the current political climate, or the idea of me having to sift through it all to win and make a difference on the Hill. I hadn’t said any more to Dani about it, and I hadn’t breathed a word to Georgie, because I didn’t want her to think I was making my decision because of her. She felt guilty enough.

  I ran my finger along her face to the tender spot by her ear that I couldn’t seem to keep my hands or lips off of, playing with the row of earrings on her lobe. “If I don’t like them, it isn’t going to make me like you less.”

  She pushed her forehead into my chest, frustration entering her voice that wasn’t directed at me but at herself. “I’ve never cared before. People either accepted my family and me for who we were, and they stayed in my life, or they didn’t like them and they left my life. But the thought of you not liking them and leaving…it’s different. It hurts in a way I’ve never had anything hurt. Not since…”

  I rubbed her back. “Not since you lost your parents.”

  She looked back up at me, eyes wide. “I didn’t really lose them.”

  “You did. You lost the child version of them. You didn’t get to wake up with them there to greet you. They weren’t there at the end of the day to ask about school. You suffered a loss. A huge one. Your world changed. Loss is loss, even if it doesn’t come from death.”

  “You’re really smart for a jockish military man.”

  “Jockish? That isn’t even a word, is it?” I grinned.

  Her lips twitched, and I wanted to continue to play the part I’d always played to get her beautiful lips turned up into a full smile.

  “Eli was the brains of our group. I was the arm candy.”

  She laughed, like I’d wanted her to, and I kissed her sensual, full lips. She kissed me back hard, as if she was trying to take the frustration and fear and guilt and work it out through her lips on mine. I was happy to let her, hoping I could find a way to bring her comfort. To smooth the flyaways bouncing around her inside just like she was always smoothing away the flyaways on her hair.

  ♫ ♫ ♫

  It was close to seven when Georgie and I made our way to the five-star hotel on the pier where her siblings had a suite reserved. They were meeting us in the lobby, and we were going to walk down to the new restaurants on the
revitalized wharf.

  Georgie had given up her cotton summer dresses, which I’d come to think of as being the embodiment of her style, for an elegant halter top and slacks ironed to a crisp. She’d exchanged her flat sandals for wedges that brought her close to eye level with all six-foot-four of me. I’d dumped my suit jacket and tie but kept my slacks and button down.

  As we walked, heads turned. I was used to women looking at me. All my friends had given me enough flack about it when I was with them, even when any and all of them drew eyes as well. But the looks Georgie and I incurred… It was like people were trying to figure out who we were. Were we someone important? I liked to think the woman next to me was very important, but not in the way the people watching us might have thought.

  When we walked into the gilded lobby, a squeal caused me to turn just as a body crashed into Georgie. My hand tightened on hers until I saw her smile over the top of the head that was buried into her chest, and I relaxed.

  When the girl pulled away, I saw lots of Georgie in her. But she was blonde and shorter than Georgie by about a good six inches, even in her own heels. She had brown eyes that weren’t anywhere near as pretty as Georgie’s contacts, but they were appealing, surrounded in dark lashes and liner.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” Georgie said, her smile wide and happy, just the way I liked it.

  “You look model perfect,” Raisa said with her own smile. Her voice, with its accent, accompanied by her looks, was certainly going to make her a hit with the guys at Stanford.

  “You look like you’ve grown up,” Georgie said and tugged gently at the blonde curls. “Where’s Malik?”

  Raisa pouted, her red-lipsticked lips jutting out in a way that would also be appealing to the right guy. I’d never been one to go for a pout. “He said to text him the name of the restaurant because he has some people to meet with first.”

  Georgie’s smile turned to a frown. “Did Petya send him on business?”