Fighting Furry

by Katharine Sadler

  The sound of a male throat clearing made me freeze where I stood in the middle of the living room. I spun slowly to see Axel, sitting on my small, navy couch, legs splayed wide, arms spread. He was smirking and more relaxed than he'd been in the Mule Creek Jail. Damn, he made my furniture look tiny. “Don't mind me,” he said. “I'm enjoying the show.”

  I didn't give him the satisfaction of putting my shirt back on. I planted my hands on my hips and glared. “What the hell are you doing in my condo?”

  “Your neighbor let me in. She was very accommodating, maybe a bit too accommodating. You should warn her not to blindly believe every strange man who tells her he needs to get into his sister's apartment.”

  I clenched my teeth hard enough to crack them. “Why are you here?”

  “I might not be able to make you stay, but I also can't let you run loose around Las Angeles. I'll be held responsible for whatever damage you do and I've already got to answer for Jeremiah's mistake turning you.”

  “Don't you need to be with your pack?”

  “I do,” he said. “Clarissa's my second-in-command, she'll run things until I can get you to see reason and come back with me to Mule Creek.”

  “Why didn't you send someone else?” I asked. “I like Clarissa a lot more than you.”

  He grinned like he enjoyed my insult. “Because you're too strong. If you told one of them to get the fuck out of your apartment they'd do it. They wouldn't be able to fight your command. I'm the only one who can stand up to you.”

  Damn it. “Get the fuck out of my apartment.”

  His grin widened. “Nope.”

  I channeled all my anger and determination into my voice and tried again. “Get the fuck out of my apartment, now.”

  He was one his feet and halfway to the door before I'd finished speaking. He stopped before he reached the door, his eyes wide, his smile gone. “Holy shit,” he said. “What the hell are you?”

  Since I was having success, I thought I'd try again. “Get the fuck out of my—”

  “No.” He stalked over to stand in front of me. “Even if you do manage to get me to leave, I'll come back. And I'll keep coming back until you realize what a mistake you've made coming here, until you realize how much you need me.”

  “I don't need you,” I said, my teeth clenched, because he was in my space now and I could smell him and my skin was itching with a need for a different kind of physical activity.

  He smirked and stepped in closer, forcing me to back up against the wall. “You don't need me? I guess you aren't feeling like you're about to come out of your skin? You must not be feeling the need to run or fuck or kill something. You must be handling this a hell of a lot better than every other new wolf I've ever met.”

  I couldn't fight it. I was leaning in to him, wanting to press my body against his. “Nope,” I said. “I'm totally fine. I was just about to take a shower.”

  “Okay.” He shrugged. “I'll leave you alone. There's a restaurant down the street I want to try.”

  He moved out of my space and every cell in my body cursed me out for not grabbing him and pulling him back. He walked toward the door, but turned at the last moment. “Just be sure you don't go for a run,” he said. “This soon after the change and you could shift without meaning to. Don't want to be shot by animal control.”

  Shit. “Then what can I do?” The words were out without my consent, my mouth revolting against my brain.

  “You can ask me for help. That's what I'm here for. No judgment.”

  I stared at him until I realized all I was thinking about was how quickly I could get him naked. I was not going to give in to my raging libido. My attraction to him was the result of wolf horniness plus full moon horniness. Dropping my eyes to the floor, I considered my options. I could hold onto my pride and possibly end up in the pound or, more likely, shot by animal control, or I could admit I needed help. “I'll be fine. Enjoy your dinner.”

  His smile didn't falter. “Enjoy your night.” He grabbed my keys from where I'd left them on the floor next to my duffel.

  “Those are my keys.”

  “I'm not counting on you being here to let me back in.”

  I huffed. I really wasn't going to be able to get rid of this guy and, if I was honest, I didn't want to. As much as I hated him, and I did hate him, I also liked the idea of having someone around to help me if something went haywire with my wolf.

  He left, pulling the door closed quietly behind him. For such a big guy, such a big, obnoxious guy, he moved softly. He could fill a room, overwhelm my senses, yet he moved without making a sound.

  I grabbed my cell phone from my duffel and dialed Shelly's number.

  “'Lo,” she said.

  “Why do you sound out of breath? Please tell me you didn't answer the phone while you're having sex again.”

  She laughed. “No. Lola's working late. So am I. I'm unpacking boxes at the spa.”

  “Think you could take a couple hours off? I need some help.” See, I could ask for help.

  “You're back in the city?”

  “Back for good,” I said, the words as much a promise to myself as to her.

  “Um, I'm pretty slammed right now. Can I meet up with you after eleven?”

  I really wanted to tell her to forget it. I knew how important her job was to her, but I also wasn't a complete idiot. I didn't want to hurt someone. My stomach sank. Shit. What if I hurt Shelly? “You know what, Shel, never mind. I've got this.”

  “Are you sure, honey? You don't sound so good.”

  I was jogging in place because that weird, scratchy energy was driving me insane and moving seemed to be the only way to quiet it. “I'm great. I promise.”

  “Okay, then. Meet you for breakfast tomorrow? The usual place?”

  “I'll be there.” Shelly and I used to have breakfast or lunch together three days a week. Since she'd gotten married, we had breakfast together every Thursday at our favorite diner. The one that gave us free food when we were homeless, the one that gave Shelly a job when no one else would. It didn't have the best food in the city, but it was home.

  ***

  “Thai?” I asked, brows raised as I took a seat across from Axel. There were ten restaurants within two blocks of my condo, and I'd searched every one of them until I found Axel at the last place I'd ever have thought to find him.

  “We can't get it in Mule Creek,” he said. He looked too big for the small table and smaller chair in the ten-by-ten seating area. Since most people got the food there as take-out, there were only three tables in the place and we were the only patrons sitting to eat.

  He took a sip of his cola and leaned back in his seat, all nonchalant. “You should look at the menu,” he said. “Food will help.”

  My stomach rumbled to laugh and growled with hunger. “I don't need to look at the menu. I get food from here at least three times a week.”

  “You don't cook?”

  “Nope.”

  The waitress came over and took my order. I got my usual, but Axel shook his head and told the waitress to double it. Guess he wanted to share.

  “So,” he said. “You're back in LA, what's the plan?”

  I was glad he wasn't going to make me ask for help, but I didn't feel like talking about my plan. “You said you had help learning to shift, the same way you helped me. Is that the way all wolves learn to shift?”

  He met my gaze head on. “Most werewolves are born werewolves, not made. They start shifting before they start walking. It's instinct. The most natural thing they do.”

  “How old were you when you were turned?”

  “Nine,” he said, something dark clouding his clear eyes. “My dad was a rancher. He killed a wolf that was on his property, thought it was the wolf who'd been killing his livestock.”

  My chest tightened. I knew this wouldn't be good. “He shot a werewolf?”

  Axel nodded. “The alpha of the pack. I don't know why he was on our property.” He sighed and rubbed his temples.
“An alpha holds his pack together and, very often, he keeps the more feral pack members civilized and the more aggressive wolves calm. The alpha is the humanity of the pack. Unless there's someone else equally strong to step into the role of alpha, the whole pack can go rogue.”

  “What happened?” I asked, even though I had no right, even though I was sure I didn't want to know.

  “The pack came in the middle of the night. They slaughtered my mother, my father, my two sisters, and my baby brother. I don't know how I survived, but I did. I woke up in a hospital, drugged out of my mind. Every time they lowered my medication doses I went crazy. Becoming a wolf increased all my senses and emotions. I knew I needed something, but I didn't know what and I was out of my mind with grief. Word about a wild animal attack that left an entire family dead is the sort of news that packs watch out for. After a week, Esmeralda, an older wolf, showed up at the hospital and told them she was my only living relative. To this day, I don't know how she got away with it. She took me into her pack, taught me to be a wolf, and raised me.”

  “The Mule Creek pack?”

  He shook his head. “As I grew it was clear I'd be an alpha. I had to create my own pack and move away. Esmeralda died not long after I left.”

  “I'm so sorry.”

  He gave a slight nod of his head. The waitress delivered our food and I forgot about Axel, forgot about the terrible story he'd just shared with me, forgot everything except diving into noodles and meat and veggies. I ate and ate, but I couldn't get full, didn't feel like I'd ever be full. I finished that double serving of my entree and looked up to see Axel calmly eating, still only halfway through his own meal. “Guess I was hungry,” I said, my cheeks heating. I hated how off-balance being a wolf made me feel. I didn't like not being in control, didn't like not knowing what would happen next.

  “Still hungry?”

  I was still hungry, but how was that possible? “A little.”

  He chuckled. “Give the food a moment to settle and see how you feel.”

  So I sat and watched him eat, thinking about the story he'd told me. “Did you kill them?”

  He paused and looked up, brows high.

  “The wolves who killed your family, did you kill them?”

  “They were executed by the council,” he said. “They'd gone rogue and couldn't be brought back.”

  “Would you have gone after them if they weren't already dead?” I'd want vengeance if someone hurt anyone I cared about, I'd want them to pay. I guess I needed to know if Axel thought the same way.

  “Violence, revenge, it solves nothing. My family would still be dead, and I'd still be changed.”

  “It would punish the people responsible for hurting your family.”

  “It would hurt me more,” he said. “Violence only ever causes more pain, more damage.”

  I thought of all the years my father had tortured me and my mother, all the years I'd been terrified to say the wrong thing, make the wrong move. If he hadn't died of a heart attack two years after I'd run away from home, I'd sure as hell want to make him pay. “Easy to say when you're big enough that everyone's afraid of you without violence.”

  He shrugged. “There will always be someone bigger than me, someone stronger, someone smarter. I refuse to accept violence is the only way to handle them.”

  “Are you a pacifist?”

  He chewed and nodded.

  I almost fell out of my chair. “You're shitting me, right? Are all wolves pacifists?”

  “No. Most aren't. Most still cling to the brutal ways of the past. I believe violence and aggression only makes us more like animals, and threatens to expose us to humans.”

  “And does everyone in your pack agree with you?”

  “No,” he said, his expression tensing. “But they follow my rules.”

  I whistled. “You must despise me.”

  He shrugged, but his jaw tightened. “What you do for a living is your prerogative. You're strong enough to be an alpha. Once you get control of your wolf, you can run your pack whatever way you want.”

  He hadn't denied despising me, which relieved me in a way. I was wildly attracted to him, I didn't want to like him, too. “My food has hit and I'm still hungry.”

  “More Thai?”

  I considered. “Do I have a super-fast metabolism? Or am I watching my weight?”

  “Insanely fast metabolism.”

  I did my best not to think about how much he must have to eat to maintain that huge body. “What about my arteries? Do I need to worry about them?”

  “If you eat steak three times a day, you might have a problem, but otherwise, no.”

  I grinned, thinking of all the foods I'd denied myself because I'd been training. I was always training. “I know just the place.”

  I let Axel pay, because it was sort of his fault I needed to eat so much and because I was planning to pay for dessert. Axel followed me out of the Thai place without a word. I walked next to him down two more blocks to an all-night diner. Usually, I hated silence. I was a talker and I always had something to say, but I didn't feel the need to speak to Axel. It was kind of nice, walking down the street next to him in silence. Some guys across the street whistled at me and Axel tensed, but this was my neighborhood. “Hey boys,” I shouted back and waved.

  “Julie Jacobs, who's that man you got with you?” One of the guys shouted back. They were teenagers pretending to be punks. My neighborhood wasn't the ritziest, but it was hardly the slums. Those kids had lived too cushy to have any idea what it really took to be a punk.

  “He's my brother,” I shouted back without really considering it. I couldn't exactly tell them the truth.

  Axel snorted and the guys across the street called bullshit in several different variations of slang. Flashing them the finger, I pushed open the door to the diner. I waved to the guy behind the counter and got us a booth.

  “You going for a cheeseburger and fries, now?” Axel asked.

  “Nope.” The waitress walked up and smiled at us, her eyes on Axel.

  “Can I get a hot fudge sundae?” I asked. “The biggest one you have?”

  “That's a bad idea,” Axel said. “Why don't you order some fries?”

  “Because I want the ice cream.” I looked to the waitress who was shifting and eying Axel like he might be a problem. “It's fine,” I told her. “I'll have the sundae. What do you want?” I asked Axel.

  “I don't want anything. Julie, I really—”

  “Just the one sundae,” I said to the waitress, ignoring Axel. When the waitress didn't move, I rolled my eyes and smiled. “Men, always telling us we're too fat.”

  Her eyes widened and she hurried away. She glanced back over her shoulder once, an angry, worried look marring her young face.

  “You scared the poor kid,” I said. I shook my head. “You just can't help telling me what to do can you?”

  “It has nothing to do with that. You can eat as much fat and calories as you want, but sugar…” He caught my eye and sighed. “Nothing I say is going to change your mind, is it?”

  “Nope. I haven't had ice cream in over a year. Unless it's going to kill me, I don't want to know.”

  He studied me for a moment, tapping his fingers on the table, considering. “It won't kill you,” he said, smirking.

  Great, just when I was starting to have some fun, he had to go and destroy it. I should have asked him what would happen if I ate the sugar, but that would be akin to asking for help, and I refused to do that.

  I was three bites in when the sugar hit and my jitters increased. Axel watching me eat without saying a word, a smug expression on his stupidly handsome face. Even with that scruffy beard I could see that he had a strong jaw and his eyes, well it was hard to see anything past those brilliant amber eyes. Those eyes that were glinting with amusement. Screw him. I wasn't going to back down. I kept my eyes on his, dipped my spoon into the ice cream, and scooped up a huge bite. I licked off the ice cream and then I stuck the spoon in my mouth and
sucked on it a bit. I moaned and closed my eyes.

  When I opened them, Axel was leaning in closer, his gaze on my mouth, the table between us suddenly way too small. “You shouldn't tease a hungry wolf, sweetheart.”

  Was he honestly flirting with me? “You still hate me, right?” I needed to check in, because the sugar was making me feel a bit drunk.

  “More than anyone I've ever met.”

  “Good. I smashed a cockroach once I liked better than you.”

  He grinned. “You going to finish that sundae?”

  Finishing that sundae was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, but I wasn't going to let Axel know that. Not over my dead fucking body. “Every bite,” I said, licking my lips for good measure.

  ***

  “Is the sidewalk rolling?” I asked.

  “No,” Axel said. “You're sugar drunk.”

  I giggled. I actually fucking giggled. I tried to spin and face Axel, but the sidewalk rolled and I lost my balance. He caught me before I hit the pavement and I dangled for a moment at the level of his crotch. “Why hello, there,” I said, running a finger over the bulge behind his jeans. “I bet you're more fun than the big head.”

  Axel hauled me up until I was closer to face-level, more like chest level since he was a good bit taller than me. “Get in the car,” he said.

  I looked back down at his crotch, damn that thing was hard to ignore.

  He sighed and turned me to face a fire-engine red sports car.

  “Are we stealing a car?”

  “It's my rental.”

  That was really confusing. “You don't have a car of your own?”

  “I flew here.”