“Sounds like you're going to have to fight.”
“We'll resettle somewhere else first. We're a happy, healthy, peaceful pack, and I'm going to make sure we stay that way.”
“And what happens when they come after your next territory? Or someone else does? Are you going to walk away every time someone threatens violence?” That might work for a regular person, but regular people didn't have to worry about a pack of werewolves showing up to take their house.
He crossed his arms over his chest and widened his stance, his eyes haunted, his expression bleak. “Darius and the council are mediating the dispute. We own this land and the buildings on it. That should be enough to keep them away, but we've had some…Financial difficulties lately. If they chase us off the land, we won't have support from the bank or the court and the council can't do much to help us. If we fight, though, the council will punish us. If we can get the other pack to throw the first punch, we'll have the council fully on our side. If not…”
“You'll just give up? Just run away with your tail tucked between your legs?”
I expected him to get mad. I was mad and I'd just insulted him at a very primal level. He didn't get mad, didn't narrow his eyes or even frown. He looked worried, sure, but not angry. He was like no other man I'd ever met. “Fighting isn't an option. We live in a different time, Julie, and all it would take is one person with a phone. One person to snap a picture or a video and post it for the world to see. Humans wouldn't just discover werewolves, they'd discover violent, aggressive monsters. Monsters that humans would want to put down without asking questions.”
He had a point, but I didn't like it. I hated the idea of backing down, of giving in. I'd done that as a kid and I'd sworn I'd never do it again. “You said the wolves in the valley were fighting vampires. Why hasn't anyone gotten a picture of that?”
He grimaced. “Fighting isn't exactly the right word. Vampires and wolves have an affinity for one another, an affinity that can easily turn to obsession, especially among the young ones.”
“You mean they…” I had no clue what he was talking about.
He sighed, looking slightly sick. “Vamps love to feed on wolves because we heal quickly. The feeding is most often a sexual experience for the wolves and it can be addictive. Alpha's pack loses at least ten members a year to vamps and they're tired of it. Especially when the vamps use their own wolves against the pack to get control over their businesses or money.”
“The vamps don't come up here?”
“We're too isolated and too close to the sun. Plus, I've made it known they aren't welcome.”
“What do you do to deter them? Growl at them?”
Again, he didn't get angry or frustrated. “I don't have to shift to convince them to leave. I can tranq them and drag them back to the valley. No one has to get hurt and the vamps never get close enough to us to feed.”
I sighed. “I understand why you don't want to fight, but just rolling over and letting them take your home doesn't seem like a reasonable option either.”
He relaxed a bit and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me tight against his side. “The council is working on it and I'm meeting with some pack members to discuss it tomorrow. You can join the meeting. For now, let's go have some fun.”
“Have some fun? Your pack is in danger and you want to have some fun?”
“It's good for our pack and it's good for you,” he said. “You need to bond with them.”
It seemed crazy to me, to go to a party when the pack was threatened, to walk away from an opponent. But I'd never been part of a team, not really, and I had to trust that Axel knew his pack and what they needed. I'd trust him that night, but the next day, I'd talk some sense into him and the others.
“Is that guy's name really Alpha?” I asked.
He snorted. “I never met his parents, so I can't say for sure, but if anyone would legally change their name to Alpha, it would be him.”
“He doesn't look like a werewolf.” When Axel raised his brows, I shrugged. “It's just that all the wolves I've seen have been healthy, fit, and that guy…His eyes were bloodshot and his skin was sort of yellow and he smelled like alcohol and something else, something…” I tried to put my finger on it, but I hadn't been a wolf long enough.
“Sickness,” he said. “I've never spent that much time with the guy, but the only way he could maintain that state would be to do nothing but drink straight liqueur from the moment he wakes up until the moment he passes. I'd imagine he kills his liver every day and it heals when he shifts or while he sleeps.”
“He's an alcoholic?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. Another theory is that he hates vamps and no vamp wants tainted blood. Feeding on sick people can make them sick, just like eating bad meat can make us sick.”
“Why doesn't he just fight off the vamps?”
“He's dominant, but just barely. He's probably not strong enough to fight them off physically.”
“He practically kills himself on a daily basis instead? That makes no sense.”
“I guess he thinks vampire obsession is a fate worse than death. I can't say he's wrong.”
***
The barn was about a mile from Axel's house. We walked through the woods and up a single, well-worn, dirt trail to a flat, open area, I heard the music before I saw the barn. It wasn't a small, red building, it was another warehouse-like structure, like Axel's studio/gym. Only it was the size of an aircraft hangar, maybe two aircraft hangars tacked together.
The front was wide open to the elements, so we could see the interior was well-lit and people were dancing, or standing around in groups chatting, or sitting on couches with plates of food on their laps.
I was social by nature, but this was a whole town of people I'd never met in human form. A town of people that was also my new pack, a pack I was responsible for protecting. But, as I looked over the people, I wasn't overwhelmed or worried, I was excited. I felt an odd sort of bond to the people in the enormous barn.
Axel paused at the edge of the party and turned me to face him. He scanned my face. “You ready for this?”
I wasn't nervous until that moment. “Why wouldn't I be?”
He grinned. “Just remember, the best answer is usually no.”
I stuck my hands on my hips and glared at him. “What does that mean? Why are you acting weird?”
His smile slipped. “And don't forget, you belong to me.”
“What? I don't belong to anyone, you big idiot. The only person I belong to is—”
He grabbed my hips and pulled me tight against him. He pressed his lips to mine and kissed me until I'd forgotten where we were and I was two seconds away from stripping down and jumping on for a ride.
Just as suddenly as he'd started kissing me, he stopped. “You're mine. And you're the starburst, don't let anyone give you any shit.”
He slipped away and got lost in the crowd before I could argue. I huffed. He could say I was his all he wanted, but saying it didn't make it true.
I stepped into the bright light and headed straight for the food tables. I grabbed a plate and filled it with fruit, chips and dip, macaroni and cheese, sliders, and chicken wings. My pack knew how to do things right. I carried my loaded plate toward an empty couch, but a tiny lady with graying hair stepped into my path. I'd never seen her before, didn't know her name, but I somehow knew it was going to be a while before I got to sit and eat.
“Julie Jacobs,” she said. “I'm Esther. It's lovely to meet you.”
“Nice to meet—”
“Axel says you're our starburst. I'm not quite sure how someone who beats people to a pulp for a living will make a good starburst, but Axel says you're kind and loyal and will look out for the wellbeing of us all.”
My cheeks warmed. I'd never been good with compliments and I tended to agree with Esther about me being a poor choice for the starburst. “Well, I—”
“Axel is certainly smitten with you, that's obvious.” She patt
ed my shoulder and grinned, revealing two missing teeth. “He's been alone for too long and he seems so happy that you're his girlfriend. No man should go so long without sex.”
“I'm not-”
“The way he talked about you, I expect there'll be a wedding soon. We could certainly use some happy—”
“Hey, Esther,” Clarissa said, stepping up next to me. “I need to steal Julie for a minute.”
“Alright, dear. I was just about to ask Julie if she wanted to join me for a dive.”
“No,” Clarissa said.
Esther frowned and glared at Clarissa. “I asked Julie.” She smiled sweetly at me. “Would you like to join me for a dive? It's the most fun you can have on the mountain.”
I looked to Clarissa for some idea of what the elderly lady was talking about, but Esther slapped my shoulder. “Don't look at her, she's a stick-in-the-mud. Just say yes.”
I remembered Axel's advice about saying no and had a feeling I understood what he'd meant. “Not this time,” I said. “But thanks for inviting me.”
Esther frowned, but was quickly distracted by two teenagers who were…Were they spiking the fruit salad with…Sugar?
Clarissa pulled me away to an empty couch and I sat next to her. “What was she talking about?”
Clarissa rolled her eyes. “Esther's favorite thing to do is waterfall diving.”
“What's that?”
“Exactly what it sounds like, you stand at the top of a waterfall and dive, headfirst. That's how she lost her teeth.”
“That little old lady likes to dive from a waterfall?”
Clarissa grimaced. “Yeah. She tries a different waterfall every week. She's challenged a few of the young ones to a competition, but even they bailed after they all broke bones diving with her.”
“How is she still alive?”
“One of life's mysteries.”
“Thanks for rescuing me from her.”
She gave me a blank look. “Rescuing you?”
I pinched my lips shut tight and tried to think of a way to un-insult Esther.
Clarissa burst out laughing. “I'm teasing you. Of course, I rescued you. Eat up and then tell me what's really going on with you and Axel.”
I ate and we people-watched while Clarissa told funny stories about pack members.
I was halfway through my plate of food when a boy approached us. He looked about fourteen, with an angel's face and the devil in his eyes. He asked Clarissa if she knew of an attachment he could put on the zip-line so he could ride it upside down. He swore he'd have someone on the other end to catch him so he didn't bash his head into a tree. Clarissa told him no and, that if he tried it, she'd put him in jail.
After he walked away, she shook her head. “The threat of jail is the only thing keeping half the town alive lately.”
I was chewing my last bite of food when a middle-aged woman asked if we'd like to go roof-sledding. Clarissa said no.
“Roof sledding?” I asked, after the woman had walked away.
Clarissa sighed wearily. “They put a sled on a roof-top and ride it down. Usually, they wait for winter and deep snow, but I guess they're bored.”
I could see how boredom could be a problem there, but I didn't mention that to Clarissa.
As soon as Clarissa saw my plate was empty, she twisted to sit crisscross apple sauce on the couch and face me. “Okay, tell me about you and Axel. Obviously, you're sleeping together.”
My eyes widened. “You can smell that?”
Confusion twisted her brow for just a moment before she laughed. “Ew, no. I was actually just guessing. Everyone is talking like you two are engaged, but this town is unreliable for gossip. Now that you've confirmed the gossip, tell me, how serious are you about him?”
The music in the place was loud, but it was pretty quiet in our corner by the wall. I could hear her when she lowered her voice, could tell she was sincere. I wanted to be honest with her, but I didn't bare my soul to anyone. “It's just physical,” I said. “Neither of us is looking for anything serious.”
She frowned. “Sweetie, Axel is looking for something serious. The man doesn't do anything halfway. And the way he talks about you. . .” She stopped herself and waved a hand. “Look at me, I'm becoming as bad as the rest of the gossips around here. I'll stay out of it unless you hurt him. Break his heart and I will kill you.”
She looked fierce when she said that, and I believed her. “It won't be a problem. He doesn't even like me.” He'd told me so, and that was what I was choosing to believe.
She rolled her eyes.
“What's the story with the Aspens Whiten pack?” I asked, desperate for a subject change.
Her eyes widened. “He told you about them?”
“Alpha showed up at his place before we came here.”
“Shit,” she said. “They're getting ballsy. I told Axel we needed to do something to show them we wouldn't just roll over and…” She slapped a hand over her mouth. “You did not just hear that.”
“I didn't hear anything, but I agree. We need to fight. He won't even…”
She shook her head. “Look, I like you, Julie, but you aren't pack. You're just some woman our alpha is sleeping with, right?”
“He said I'm a starburst.”
“You're a starburst. That would be your rank in any pack, but you haven't pledged yourself to this pack and I won't discuss this with you until you do.”
She had a point. I looked at the mingling crowd and tried to picture myself as part of the pack. I could see it so easily. I felt comfortable there, felt like I belonged. I couldn't imagine leaving, finding a new pack…I couldn't imagine doing anything because I wasn't human any more. I needed time to figure out where I belonged. There was still too much about the werewolf world I didn't know or understand, and it would be stupid to join the pack just because they'd been the ones to turn me.
“Look,” Clarissa said. “Join the party, have fun, get to know everyone. You should be deciding if this is your pack, not worrying about the valley wolves.”
Clarissa stood and walked over to a group who'd been trying to get her attention for the last five minutes.
Axel was mingling as he had been since we'd arrived. I'd watched him when he was in my line of sight and I hadn't seen him eat anything. He had to be starving after our run.
I fixed him a plate, piled high with a little bit of everything. I wove through the crowd, narrowly missing having the plate knocked from my hands several times by dancing or clumsy wolves.
The expression on Axel's face when he looked up and saw me walking toward him almost made me drop the plate. He stopped mid-laugh, in conversation with someone else, and looked over at me. His smile lit his eyes and the warmth, the appreciation in those eyes made it hard for me to breathe.
This was bad. It was really bad. I liked that face way too much and I wanted to please him, wanted to see that smile again and know it was because of me.
His smile slipped when I didn't keep moving toward him and my vision went hazy around the edges. I gulped down air and straightened my shoulders. I pushed away the feelings that were overwhelming me and forced a smile onto my face.
I could handle this. I would handle it. I was in a new place, dealing with a major change. It was normal for me to cling to Axel a bit. It didn't mean anything more than that.
His smile fell the rest of the way, and his jaw tightened, like he could hear my thoughts. I hated the way my stomach plummeted with his smile vanishing. Just one more sign I needed to get away.
I forced my smile bigger and carried the plate to Axel. He took it and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he said.
He spun me to face the group. There were four other people, all staring in that way people do when they can sense tension but don't want to let on they're curious. I tried to pull away from Axel, but he just held on tighter. “Raphael, Lara, Burt, Freddie, this is my Julie Jacobs.”
I smiled,
my teeth clenched tight. “It's very nice to meet you all, but I'm not his.”
Axel loosened his grip and I escaped him. I hated that he'd made me feel so trapped, hated that he'd put me on the spot that way. He gave me a sad smile. “It's true,” he said. “I misspoke. She's not mine, but I'm hers.”
“You're her girlfriend?” Freddie asked, breaking the tension and making the others laugh. I was so angry I could punch something, but I couldn't help smiling a little bit at the joke.
“I'd be her whatever, if she'd let me,” Axel said, unperturbed by his pack mates calling him a girl.
“Dude, you're coming on way too strong,” Raphael said. “Give the woman some space.”
Axel's smile widened. “You're right,” he said. He turned to me. “I've been coming on too strong, haven't I, sweetheart?”
Seriously, this guy was giving me the worst case of emotional whiplash. He was smiling, his stance easy, but there was a tightness around his eyes and I knew I'd hurt him. I hadn't meant to, but I'd hurt him. “Maybe a little,” I said, smiling for his friends. This was the right thing to do. Space was what we needed.
“We all need space sometimes,” Lara said. “I'm glad to have you in the pack, Julie, whether you're Axel's girlfriend or not. I want you to teach me some of your moves.”
“My moves?”
“You know,” she said. “Those kicks and punches and wrestling moves you did in the cage. I'd love to learn how to be a better fighter.”
My smile that time was real. “Of course. I'd love to teach you.”
Lara bounced on her toes and grinned. “I bet I'm not the only one either. It gets kind of boring around here sometimes,” she said. “It's fun to learn something new.”
“Boring?” Axel asked with mock seriousness. “How can you be bored? There's always some work that needs to be done.”
Lara laughed. “Fun, Axel. You should try it sometime.”
“I'm up for fun,” Axel said. “Let's show Julie the zip line.”
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