Broken Glass

by Pavan Kaur

  "I’m happy you want to stay here but remember one thing; I’m not holding you here. There is the door. You can leave when you want to leave. I just have one rule. Just tell me you’re leaving."

  "I’m not leaving," I answer.

  "Good." His lips touch mine again and I can’t help but smile again. "I got you something."

  I watch him walk away, and I start getting everything ready to make lunch.

  He returns quickly. "I got you a phone so that I can call you when I'm at work and a backpack so you can keep your lotion in there." Leo puts the backpack on the counter, and I just stare at the two things.

  "I… Thank you," pulling the bag closer to me. I can see that he's already put my lotion in there.

  "I've put mine and Jackson's numbers in the phone." He starts to show me how to use it, but I can't keep up.

  “Can you slow down, please?"

  He's going too fast for me, and I don't know what he's doing. I can feel him staring at me. "Is this your first phone?"

  "Yes," I reply. I can feel my cheeks getting warm, and I look at the floor as I tuck my hair behind my ears.

  “Once we have eaten, I’ll show you how it works." Placing the phone on the counter, he takes my hand in his. "I was thinking of an early afternoon walk, what do you think?”

  “If I’m not feeling too tired."

  Leo walks over to Jackson as I get lunch ready for us. I keep glancing over at the backpack. I've never been given a gift before so it will be something to treasure forever.

  ***

  I listen to them both talking about finding people that use the horrible website so they can find the man they both want.

  Jackson sits on the seat next to me. "So beautiful, let’s get you and this phone connected.” I move a little so that there’s a gap between us. Jackson doesn’t say anything and instead starts talking about the features on the phone, placing it in front of me as he tells me about how it works.

  “So I just sent you a message, what do you do?" Jackson says as my phone beeps. I turn my head a little to look at him, then back to the phone.

  “Open the message?” I reply. I can feel Leo watching us. I know that Leo wants me and Jackson to get on well and I’m trying.

  We spend another hour going through the phone even though we both know that I had got it all about twenty minutes into this, but I think Jackson just wanted to continue talking to me.

  “Thank you for helping me," I say bringing all the dishes together to clean up. As I place everything into the sink, I see a drop of blood. Not again.

  I still remember the first time this happened to me, I was so scared. It was that first time I went to the doctors and found out that I have Lupus.

  That was a lot of information to have all in one day; to find I have an illness which was going to be a long and painful one and to go through it alone. Then the nosebleeds started. Now that was a whole new story. I was told that because of the fewer red cells I have it's easier for me to bruise and bleed. I always find that when I start my period the first two days are the worst for me. I've not had a nosebleed in a very long time, so I was scared the other day when it started.

  Grabbing the towel I put it under some water and place it to my nose.

  "Let me." I jump feeling Leo’s hand on my lower back, it’s the first time I didn’t hear him walking close to me. Leo starts cleaning my nose. "Jackson’s happy you spoke to him."

  “If he’s here all the time, I have to start, right?" I say looking behind Leo at Jackson sitting at the table.

  "I'm happy you did." Leo takes a step back when Jackson starts shouting at him.

  “Leo, found something, will tell you in the car,” Jackson says leaving the house quickly.

  “I won’t be long.”

  “Try not to get too bloody," I say making Leo laugh.

  I’m never going to ask where he goes or what he does; I have a feeling all this has to do with the man that took him.

  ***

  I hear the front door closing, and I wait a moment to see if Leo comes upstairs. Nothing. Standing up, I head downstairs to see if I can see him. Walking past the sitting room, he's not there, nor in the dining room.

  Feeling a cold breeze, I turn to look at the yard, and I see Leo sitting on a deck chair. I can't really see his face, but I take some water and a towel with me in case he needs to be cleaned up.

  As I make my way toward him, the outside light comes on. I sit on the chair beside him.

  No blood. That’s good.

  "Are you crazy? It's cold outside," Leo says starting to stand up, but I stop him.

  “I was hot," I say getting him to sit back down. The breeze feels nice.

  "You have two minutes out here in the cold." He leans forward as the cigarette hangs from his mouth. His hands rest on my legs, and his eyes move to the bowl of water to my left. "I stayed clean."

  I smile at his words and run my fingers through his hair before moving my hand down to his cheek. Taking the cigarette out of his mouth and before he can let the smoke escape, I kiss him. I have no idea where the courage came from. All I know is that I wanted to kiss him, so I did.

  His hand moves to the back of my neck, and he pulls me in closer. I enjoy the taste of him as his tongue dances with mine.

  When I pull away from him he says, "Nice to know you want to kiss me too." He smiles and leans back a little to inhale from his cigarette.

  "Jackson coming over for dinner?" I ask before I say something I shouldn't about kissing him.

  “No, he’ll be over in the morning.” I feel his eyes move over me. "Your two minutes outside are up." Leo pulls me up to stand up with him. I bump into his body as I stand and his hand wraps around my back to steady me. As he looks down at me, I just gaze into his eyes.

  Suddenly I take a step back from him; the air around us has changed, and I don't know what it is.

  He frowns and rubs the back of his neck. “I’m going to get in the shower. I’m not hungry so don’t worry about food," Leo tells me and walks into the house. After a few seconds, I follow him in.

  It seems like Leo felt the electricity too, as his attitude has changed a little.

  What’s happening? I’ve never had that strange air around me before.

  Chapter 20

  Leo

  I let the warm water run over my body. Hope is starting to make me feel things that I haven't felt for a woman before, and I know she isn't ready to even think about something like this. But I don't think I can stay away from her, the second her body touched mine outside, I wanted to kiss her again, touch her skin.

  I close my eyes as the water runs down my face. I should stay away from her. I shouldn’t let my darkness mix with hers when she has so much of it already.

  Turning the shower off, I grab a towel and wrap it around my waist. Then I walk into my bedroom to grab a pair of sweatpants. Standing outside of Hope's room, I watch her lying on the floor looking up at the sky out the window. I keep thinking of what I can do for her to sleep more comfortably on the floor. I thought about putting the mattress down there, but I didn't think that would work for her. Her and that bed is a fucked up situation, and I can understand where she's coming from with it.

  Walking into the room, I grab the two pillows off the bed and walk around her. “I thought we were going to sleep with pillows now?” I say placing mine on the floor and wait for her to lift her head.

  "I forgot." She lifts her head a little, and when I've placed her pillow, she puts her head down.

  I lay beside her. “Am I ruining your view?” I turn onto my back and stare up at the ceiling.

  "No." I turn my head to face her, and she asks, "Did you get any answers to finding him?"

  Even though I don’t want her to know all the details about what I’m doing, I can’t hide who we’re looking for either. “A few,” I tell her.

  Jackson and I talked tonight, and we both agreed that the closest lead we'll get is from the people that took Hope. They had her for a lo
ng time, which means the owner of the site came to check on her a few times or at least stayed in touch. But that is a conversation for tomorrow, as I don't want her to think about them just before she goes to sleep.

  “Do you do anything for Thanksgiving?”

  Her question surprises me. “Go to my parents for dinner.” This is normally the part where I ask what she does, but I don’t think they let her have a dinner. "I hope you'll join us this year," I tell her.

  “When is that?”

  “November, so we still have a while yet.” I turn to lay on my side. “Do you think we can get something more comfortable for you on the floor? This must hurt sleeping like this all the time.”

  I mean her bones already hurt her; the hard floor can’t be helping. Standing up, I grab the throw off the end of the bed.

  “Do you want to sleep by the window, or over here?”

  Hope stands up. “By the window, please.” She picks up both of the pillows, as I put out the blanket. Throwing the pillows on the bedroom floor, I lie down and watch Hope as she slowly lowers herself and sits down next to me.

  Hope’s fingers trace my stomach where the scars are. “Do you ever wonder where your mom is now?”

  I never feel any pain when she touches me. I don't care that she touches them. Others, I wouldn't even show them; the lights would be off, and if they did see them, I'd stop the conversation then and tell them to never ask questions again. But Hope, I want her to touch every single scar; I want her touch to heal every single one of them.

  “I did a long time ago, but now I don’t care. Some of these scars are from her.” Taking her hand, I move it up slowly to the one scar on my collar bone and get her finger to trace the silvery line. “She cut me here when I was very little. She had a guy over and she cut me because I wouldn’t stay quiet. She was so high. I don’t even know how she was standing.” This scar still hurts when I think about that day.

  I close my eyes as her fingers move to the small scar on my neck, there’s no way I could tell her all the stories, we would be here for weeks; it’s only the same as her not wanting to tell me everything about her past. The memories are too hard to relive.

  I feel her finger move up more until it moves over my lips. Her hand stops and I open my eyes to see her looking at me. We stare at each other for a moment. I want to kiss her, I want to touch her, and I don't know if I should.

  “Are you not going to kiss me?” Hope asks, my grip on her hand loosens and her fingers trace my lips again. I shouldn’t, she isn’t ready for this, but fuck do I want her to touch me.

  I lick my lips, as her fingers move away. Our eyes are still locked with each other. I sit up and kiss her, taking her mouth with a burning passion running through me, tasting the sweetness. She whimpers against my mouth, and the vibration runs right through me.

  I pull away from her. I can’t move on from here, not yet. “Hope—”

  “Will you hold me tonight?”

  "Always," I tell her, as I pull her closer to me, her head on my chest and I bring my arm over her waist. I lie here listening to her breathing, and I smile as I hold her.

  ***

  I’m listening to Jackson talking about a plan that he has about getting Hope’s buyer, but all I can do is look at Hope standing in the kitchen staring at the tiles. I bought her a book to learn how to change the tile that has been annoying her, but since she pointed it out, it’s been getting on my nerves too.

  “Are you going to ask her?” Jackson nudges me to get my attention. “Have you heard a word that I’ve said?”

  “No, what were you saying?” I ask him; my gaze focused on Hope. I glance back to him.

  “Are you going to ask her if she knows where he lives?”

  "Hope," I call her over, and she sits on the chair in front of us. "Jackson and I were wondering if you know the address of the place you were kept?" I ask her. I know that I could have done it a little better, but no matter how I ask the question, it isn't going to be easy for her.

  She looks at me, ignoring Jackson, her eyes locked with mine and I can see the fear in them. I can see the fear in her.

  “No,” she says. But taking the notepad closer to her, she writes something down and slides it over to me. “Would you like anything to drink?”

  “No, thank you.” I look at the name she’s written on the paper, Joseph Price.

  Jackson clears his throat. “Can I get some cheesecake? I saw you making it earlier.” Hope hasn’t left the kitchen all morning. She has made a few different cakes and even a lasagna for dinner tonight, along with a few different things for Jackson and I to take to lunch this week.

  She cuts a piece of dessert and hands it to Jackson with a fork.

  “Thank you.” He pushes the laptop to the side.

  Hope sits down next to me, bringing her knees closer to her. I place my hand on her knee. I want to lean over and give her a kiss, but I don’t know what’s happening with us.

  Hope clears her throat. “How is work Jackson?” she asks, making us both look at her.

  “Good, you have to love rich idiots that marry women twenty years younger than them.” Jackson looks at me for a moment and then back to Hope. “Have you been getting used to the phone?”

  “No, it’s not really that important to me. As long as I know how to call and message Leo back, I’m good.”

  I sit here in surprise that she’s talking so much more than she normally does and I hope it stays like this. It’s nice to see it.

  Jackson suddenly focuses on the laptop again and shakes his head before turning the screen toward me. “The gods must be on your fucking side, Leo, he’s in New York this weekend for some meeting, but you also have a problem.”

  I feel Hope tense up. The fucker owns the two biggest nightclubs in Florida. I shake my head at the new fucking hurdle I have to go through. We have a week to get a plan together.

  How the fuck can I kill this bastard knowing that people are going to ask questions if he's missing? "They did say you need money to join the website," I say, and I rub Hope's knee softly letting her know that I'm here and I won't let anyone hurt her again.

  “Well, he fucking has enough of it,” Jackson talks with a mouthful of cake.

  Jackson gets up and walks away as his phone rings and I turn to look at Hope staring at the screen. Closing the laptop she asks me, “Will you make it hurt?”

  I turn my chair so I can see her face. “I plan on it. I plan on making it last all night.” Her hand moves to my cheek, then through my hair. I never thought that could feel as nice as it does. I hear the chair behind, letting me know Jackson is back with us. “Someone else looking to get a divorce?” I ask him looking over my shoulder.

  He starts laughing. “No, something else.” His short answer makes me laugh. He’s got himself a girl for the day.

  “What time you leaving?”

  “Not until tonight.” He watches Hope as she gets up and walks out of the dining room. “So, you and Hope?”

  “One day at a time,” I tell him.

  “So, what are we going to do about him?” He points to the laptop as he opens it up again. “I really don’t think his dead body should be found in New York.”

  I blow out air. I want one fucking man. My focus was killing him but I have to find a fucking ghost in this world of fucked up dicks. “Well, find me somewhere where I can make it last. There’s no way I’m ending his life quickly.” I stop for a moment and think about it. “You know what? Fuck it, get him to a warehouse, make sure that it has no ties to us and that we don’t leave any prints there—”

  “Leo—”

  I cut him off. "I don't give a shit; we're leaving him there once I'm finished with him. There's no tie to him with us so what are the chances of him being linked to us?" I know that he wants me to think with my head, but at the moment I'm thinking of Hope and how he made her fear everything.

  "Fine, let me think of something. You work on the torture, and I'll have everything ready. You going to w
ork today?"

  “Yeah, about to leave now. What day do you want to come in and talk to the four of them about You Are Loved?” I was glad that Jackson said he would jump in with me on this and I know he’s serious about it as he’ll be doing a little more studying to learn about that part of the law for us.

  “How’s next Monday?” Jackson packs all his stuff away. “I’ll get things ready for Sunday.”

  "I'll send them an email, and I'll keep Sunday free. This is the only time we have to get him," I tell Jackson. I have no idea how the hell he’s going to do it, but I know he will.

  "Yeah, I know, and I'll see what I can find on him. Might need to get some help to get him though," Jackson tells me. Now the only other person who knows about this is John, and he's not going to tell anyone. I mean he's known for a long time about what I do to these assholes.

  "I'll talk to John, and he'll call you," I tell him as I make my way over to Hope.

  Hearing the door close, I stand looking at her as she turns the pages of the catalog to change the floor tiles. "Have you found one you like?"

  "No, but it's your kitchen, you need to like it," she answers me. I glance at her for a moment; I've never told her that I want her to stay here for good. I've told her that I want her to stay for as long as she wants, but in reality, I want her to stay and never leave.

  “We can have a look tonight, please keep your phone on you as I’ll call you the moment I’m free.” Moving closer to her I take her hand in mine. “I’ll try to get back early.” I slowly lean down to give her a kiss.

  ***

  I called Hope when I got to work just because I wanted to hear her voice. It wasn't really a long conversation, and it was mostly one way, but I like that I can now talk to her.

  I’m still surprised that she spoke to Jackson without me having to say anything to start the conversation and I do like that she’s willing to make an effort with him.