The Mountain Man's Baby

by Alice Moore

  The bathroom was more grandiose than anything I’d ever seen before, but I ignored it for the moment to head for a cabinet. A low whistle slid up my spine, and I snatched a towel before Caroline spoke up.

  “I bet you spent a crapload for this set up. Is your wife gunna be mad I’m here, James?” Rolling my eyes at the question, I set the towel on the vanity to head for the door. My chest tightened, hands balling into loose fists, and my skin crawled from Caroline’s gaze until I glanced over my shoulder.

  “Clean yourself up. Shout when you’re done.” Closing the door without waiting for a response, I took a deep, harsh breath and held it on my way down the hall.

  Wife. Fuck- I hated that word. There wasn’t even any reason to bring it up. A flash of blonde struck my eyelids when I blinked, and I gripped the kitchen counter to grind my teeth together.

  So much shit had happened in the past six months that Hannah hadn’t popped into my mind at all. According to voicemails, she absolutely refused to marry my brother.

  What did he do, then? Oh yeah- Nick had our parents adopt her instead.

  I could still feel the potent pain that ripped through my chest when Nick told me Hannah had gotten pregnant. I could still feel the relief when he immediately followed up with ‘it’s not yours’. I could still feel the guilt of that night and the guilt that heaped atop it because I’d run away like a little bitch.

  And now, here I was- haunted and miserable. Where I deserved to be.

  Caroline

  “Thank you so much for getting my camera and stuff, James.” Sparklers exploded in my chest as I clutched my camera to my breast with a wide smile cresting my cheeks. “I didn’t even think of someone stealing it… It’s worth more than my truck, and I-“

  “Yeah- I got the importance of it when you threw a fit. Move over.” Gingerly scooting across the couch cushions, I pursed my lips together as heat flushed my cheeks. “You haven’t called an ambulance yet…”

  Rubbing my camera with my thumbs, I pondered James’ half question for a long, quiet moment. He’d been gone for two hours, easily, and that was plenty enough time to call an ambulance and leave. Staring past my knees at Kiki, I took in her lax form before heaving a sigh. My mind worked, and when it didn’t give me anything to say, James spoke up again.

  “Do you really trust that dog that much?”

  “Yes-“ Answering immediately, I turned my gaze to James as his brows came together to create a confused scowl. He was so much more rugged than his blurred outline had promised, and I watched his expression grow harder before opening my mouth a second time. “She was trained as a Marine companion, but she had violent tendencies and would disobey orders if she didn’t like them. If something tickled her the wrong way, she’d ignore her officer or do her own thing. She’s been evaluated as having the intelligence of a seven year old kid- which is incredible, by the way. So, if she isn’t freaking out and over protective… then you can’t be that bad.”

  Pride bubbled up in my chest, and I rested my head against the back cushion as James’ gaze flickered to Kiki.

  “She’s a terrible judge of character, then.” Darkness flashed across his expression, and I tightened my grip on my camera as my heart thudded harder against my ribs. “There’s a myth in the Marines. When a dog and his or her handler are in perfect sync- when they trust each other’s decision regardless of orders or the mission. The dog lives for the handler, not for serving, and the handler protects the dog to the point of irrationality. This reminds me of that.”

  “But… I’ve never even been to a Navy base or anything.” Those were the first words out of my mouth, and James snorted roughly. His dark eyes were sparkling with what I could only describe as annoyance as he ran his hand through his hair. Underneath his t-shirt, his muscles rippled wildly, and I held my breath at the irritation that slithered up into my nostrils. At my feet Kiki lifted her head, a soft warning growl reverberating through the floor and up to rattle my legs and spine.

  “Shit like that doesn’t matter… Only lives to your left and right matter, even if that life is a fucking dog.” Pushing himself up roughly, James stormed off into the kitchen with loud, angry steps. Staring through wide eyes at the place he had just been sitting, I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth.

  I wasn’t an idiot- James had obviously served. But something happened to make him this way, and I doubt it has anything to do with war.

  The thought brought a frown to my face as Kiki calmed down once again, and I released my breath with a huff.

  “What do you want for lunch, Caroline?” Loud and bracing, the call almost caused the floor to buckle as James shouted across the house. For a quick, silent second, I debated on what to say. From what I knew, James only had cereal and canned soup… and beer. His refrigerator was almost entirely filled with beer.

  “Uh- whatever you were going to make.” Relaxing into the couch, I fiddled with my camera in the growing silence. James didn’t bother answering me, and my fingertips caressed the forms of the lens. Against my hip my camera bag sat, and I set the device in my lap to check it. Lenses and straps were where I’d left them, along with a few extra batteries and memory cards, and a smile wormed onto my face.

  “I missed this, and I didn’t even know it.” So little time had passed since the last time I held my camera- felt it comfortable in my lap. At the same time so much had been packed into those hours, and they felt long and arduous. My mumble was met with quiet, and I smiled down at my camera.

  Pulling my camera up to my eye, I trained the lens on Kiki to take in her photogenic perfection. There wasn’t a single cowlick in her shiny, healthy fur, and regret slugged my veins as I drifted from her form. The living room was plain and simple, with nothing more than a couch, rug, television, and coffee table. Everything in his house was minimalistic, and I liked that about the place.

  Except for the bathroom, of course. Goosebumps rose up on my arms and across my chest at the mere thought of that bathroom. It didn’t fit the rest of the house at all, and I could imagine myself lounging in the absolutely monstrous tub for hours. The only part of the bathroom that seemed used was the separate shower, and I sighed at the gentle tingling just under my skin.

  “What did you think of your bath, huh, Kiki? Did you like it after roughing it for a week?” A soft woof met my questions, and I smiled down at my dog. I’d always heard horror stories from friends growing up of how horrible it was to wash their dogs.

  Just like with every other part of her, though, Kiki was always perfectly behaved.

  “Here.” I barely had time to glance up before a bag landed in my lap, and for a long moment I couldn’t do anything but stare. The light brown bag was riddled with words, and whole sections were in languages I couldn’t read. Underneath me the couch cushion shuffled, and I tore my eyes off the pouch to watch James shove a forkful of something into his mouth.

  His cheek spasmed in what I could only guess was a smirk as he dug into his bag. All the while he kept his gaze on me, and each second that passed only increased the amusement swirling in his gaze.

  “Is… is this an Army ration…?” Speaking slowly, clearly, my lips trembled, and my heart nearly burst through my ribs when James nodded shamelessly.

  “It’s bacon mac’n’cheese.” The response left me dumbstruck, and I took a sharp breath as he chuckled around his mouthful before swallowing hard. “You don’t like bacon? That’s real food in there, you know-“

  “I know it’s real food, James-“ My use of his name made him pause, and I rolled my lips between my teeth as I clutched the bag tightly. The stupid thing even came with its own, little, plastic fork, but the utensil didn’t so much as creak under my grip. “Do you even go shopping, or- or do you just… get stuff air dropped… or what?”

  This man was a certifiable introvert, I decided. Watching him ponder my question, I let out a hot breath before turning to my ‘lunch’. For the first time I noticed the bag was kind of warm and squishy, and I tore open the top t
o get blasted by a puff of steam.

  “I go pick it up. I’m not a hermit or a recluse or anything… I just would rather be here in the peace and quiet.” Bacon wafted sensually into my nostrils, and I took a deep breath as James’ gravelly voice reached my ears. Pulling the fork-sport-thing off the top of the bag, I sat back to say the first thing that came to mind.

  “You’ll go crazy in the silence, you know. I remember when my dad went on his final deployment… it was only for five months, but it was insanely quiet. I moved into a bar, basically, just to get something to distract me.”

  “Yeah- well… I haven’t gotten there yet, so there’s no use worrying about it.” James’ response didn’t surprise me; my father often said the same thing. Military men were so reactive instead of proactive, and sometimes it drove me up a wall. Months beforehand, I’d tell my dad that whatever he was doing was a bad idea, and then it’d come to bite him in the ass.

  Not that I was one to complain considering I broke my ankle the way I did.

  Frowning as I chewed absently, I drew my brows together as I tried to figure out how this mush tasted anything like bacon mac’n’cheese. Water and crackers is a better name.

  “… Thank you for letting me use your clothes, by the way.” Staring past my bag of mush, I narrowed my eyes on the thin sweat pants that shielded my legs. The material was gray and soft, and I shuffled my knees together absently as James grunted in response. “I’m going to call my dad in the morning. He’ll be able to come get me faster than an ambulance.”

  “The only way he can do that is if he’s got a helicopter, and even then, he wouldn’t make it all the way here. You should’ve called when I was gone- you’d be in a fancy hospital by now with actual, certified doctors.” A rough snort flew from my chest at James’ tidbit of common sense, and I brought my forkful to my mouth. “Of course, they’d probably drug test you, then arrest me for drugging you- then you’d have to go through all that court shit because no one is going to believe that you stayed here, let me stick my fingers in your ankle, and pumped my blood in your veins because your fucking dog didn’t bite me.”

  The assessment stopped any response I could’ve given, and my brows came together sharply. Was that how people would see it? I’m a too-trusting delusional? My gaze flickered to Kiki, and I pursed my lips together as she rested her head on her paws. She seemed perfectly okay that this strange man was sitting on the couch with me- that I was essentially an invalid who he can easily take advantage of if he wanted to. Kiki’s ears weren’t tense, her tail was curled comfortably, and her eyes only watched James lazily.

  There were no signs that she suspected him of any potential threat.

  “… Do you really think that’s how people will see it? She’s a military dog-“

  “Oh- bullshit. Caroline, she was a military candidate that was scrapped for whatever dumbass reason. To answer your question, though- yes. That’s exactly how people will see it. They’ll think you spend too much time with the dog and in the wilderness, and they’ll argue that it’s not healthy. Seriously, you can’t expect anyone to understand the bond you have with Kiki- least of all court officials. No matter how many times you say ‘he saved me; he’s not a creep’, all they’ll focus on is that you were injured and drugged unconscious for five hours on my kitchen table.”

  My heart slammed against my chest as James’ sharp words assaulted my ear drums. Goosebumps rose on my skin, and in the growing silence my discomfort grew five fold. Trapped between my fingers, the spork creaked under my tightening grip before I took a deep, hard breath.

  “S- so… why are you out here by yourself, anyway?” Changing the subject with no subtlety at all, I shoveled my goop into my mouth as James heaved a big sigh. Glancing at him out of the corner of my eye, I couldn’t help but notice the deep shadows that contoured his face. There wasn’t even much reason for them to be there; the television was right in front of us and on.

  They just seemed to be anchored to his cheeks and eyes, and for a moment I wondered if he’d answer me until he opened his mouth.

  James

  “The woman I thought I loved chose my brother. Long story short- I fucked up, and she payed the price. So, I left.” Grimacing at my empty bag, I let my spork fall from my fingers to grind my teeth absently. “Not that it did much good because I just fucked myself all over again after getting here, but that’s a story for another time.”

  I couldn’t even mention what happened with Hannah without automatically thinking of Frank, and the plastic bag in my hand crinkled loudly as I fisted my fingers. Nick was right, and time had only made that fact more blaringly obvious. Frank was someone I obsessed over, and no one could get in the way no matter how hard he or she tried.

  “… That’s shitty… you know- I was engaged once.” Glancing up, I watched displeasure flitter across Caroline’s expression through narrowed eyes. Her hair was a pretty, dark, cherry blonde color now that it was clean, and she reached to push away her drying curls with steady fingers. “He left me when I told him I wanted to wait to have kids. I was barely 21 when he proposed to me after three years- I thought I hit the fucking jackpot. But he kept bringing up kids, or his parents would bring up grandkids, and I caught him poking holes into the condoms even though I was secretly on birth control. I went ballistic- Jesus… even thinking about it now gives me this shitty feeling for how bad I was.”

  Blinking slowly, I sucked in air before realizing I’d been holding my breath. Across the couch, Caroline puffed out her cheeks, and I cocked my head as questions swirled behind my eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder why she was even revealing this crap to me. I was a stranger no matter how comfortable her dog was with me.

  “Anyway- two weeks later I come to our shared apartment and all of his shit is gone. Even his roll of toilet paper. He left me a note saying he wasn’t going to wait until he was too old to want to play with his kids and all that stuff… but he was only 23 at the time. It’s ridiculous. After all these years, I still can’t think of a single reason why anyone, man or woman, would want children so bad it’s actually detrimental to their relationship.”

  “He was probably going to fuck you over.” Spitting out the first thing I thought of, I silently recounted the horror stories I’d heard abroad from my fellow servicemen. Arching an eyebrow, Caroline turned all of her intense attention on me as I shrugged. “You know- marry you, get you pregnant, then instigate and make your lives miserable until you get a divorce. I mean, sure- he has to pay… but then he can be that guy with the crazy ex-wife and get sympathy from his work or women or whatever. Guys like that are dicks- plain and simple. You dodged a bullet, Caroline.”

  My thoughts went to a man Nick knew that’d done just what Caroline had experienced. He’d gotten a thrill from stringing the poor girl along, and in the end, he turned her into a strung out, psycho-bitch with two kids and no support system. It was as insane as it was sad.

  “Yeah, I’m aware. Now, I live with my dad and am happy as a peach… What about you? The woman? How did she fall in love with your brother? That’s some crazy stuff, you know.” Hannah’s image flashed in my mind’s eye, and for a moment I was quiet. She’d be four months pregnant by now, but the curiosity ringing in my ears banished the notion. Leaning back to cross my knees, I stared at the television blankly as I replayed those weeks. Everything felt like it’d happened to someone else- like my experience with Frank had fucked with me beyond repair.

  And there’s that asshole again. In the same thought bubble. Fuck.

  “I was just an idiot, reading too much into the situation. The harder I pressed, the more she went to Nick. It’s been months- I honestly can say that I haven’t really thought about her that much. There’s not much else to it.” Better leave the drugs out of it for now.

  “And since then, you’ve just been out here- by yourself… doing nothing but eating Army rations and watching Channel 4 News and drinking beer?” Nodding firmly, I tilted my head just in time to watch Caroline bar
k out a harsh laugh. She was pretty, even when she was assaulting me with that condescending sound, and her light brown eyes sparkled when they met mine. “Aren’t soldiers supposed to be world-weary? I thought you guys didn’t have a gullible side, James.”

  “There’s a difference between being gullible and being stupid, okay? I just picked the wrong fucking stripper that night-“ My defense cut off by more laughing, and Caroline doubled over to clutch her belly. Clenching my teeth tightly, I stood up stiffly as she was still trying to get control of herself. Her laughter followed my, gyrating my ear drums and taunting me as I grew hot and tense.

  “She- she’s a st- stripper! Oh- you’re right! You were stupid! You debatably fell in love with a stripper, and she chose your brother… Oh- Oh Jesus… That’s amazing.” Amusement was clear in Caroline’s voice, and I tossed my lunch bag to yank open the refrigerator roughly.

  “Fuck you, okay? You’d understand if you met her.” Grabbing two water bottles, I gnashed my teeth while Caroline sputtered her insincere apologies. She was still giggling when I dropped back onto the couch, and I tossed her the plastic container with annoyance coursing through my veins. “The point is, I’m perfectly fucking okay with where I’m at right now. So, how long ago did Mister Douchebag disappear on you?”

  “Seven years ago. Afterwards, I moved in with my dad and decided to pursue photography full time. I got Kiki a year and a half ago under my dad’s suggestion. He’s always liked military dogs because they typically come pretty well trained even after failing or retiring. When Kiki didn’t like him, he got all butt hurt.” Easily Caroline offered up whatever information she was willing to give- which was quite a bit. Glancing between her and her dog, I drew my brows together before opening my mouth.

  “What made you pick her?” I’d never been much of a pet person, and I couldn’t figure out why Caroline would pick one dog over another. The smile that crested her cheeks was reminisce and fond, and I held my breath as anticipation replaced blood in my veins.