The Mountain Man's Baby

by Alice Moore

  “Are you okay, James?” The tired, feminine voice drew my attention to the couch, and I glanced beyond my bicep through wide eyes. Caroline and her dog stared at me, concern etched onto her face and weariness on Kiki’s. For a long moment I only stared, my eyelid twitching from the horror that sat just behind my eye sockets.

  Pushing myself from the freezer, I took a deep, calming breath that popped my rib joints down the center of my chest. My hands shook as I grabbed a beer from the refrigerator before closing the door, and my legs were stiff on my way to the living room. A low warning growl sounded the closer I came, and I sent that damn dog a nasty grimace.

  So much for liking me.

  “Is it about your leg?” Caroline’s gentle prodding drew a grunt from me in a foolish attempt to avoid talking about my nightmare. Sitting in my recliner, I heaved a sigh and popped open my bottle to neck my beer. “I’ll just be quiet, then.”

  “Yeah- please.” Gruff and short, my affirmation sent the room into an intense silence as Caroline stared at me shamelessly. My mind refused to stray from my dream, and I shook my head hard before opening my mouth again. “Talk. Something- anything. Tell me about your friends.”

  “Uh- uh… well… I have a couple of them…” Staring into space, I didn’t need to look at Caroline’s face to know the sudden request caught her off guard. Her stuttering reverberated against my skull, and I took another swig of my beer before she steadied herself. “I met my closest friend at some faire when my dad came home when I was 8. She and I aren’t best friends, but I’m okay with that. Her name is Sally, and she’s the most bookworm-i-est bookworm you can ever know. She’s trying to become a writer, and she’s really good at it. Her boyfriend is an amateur movie producer...”

  Listening to Caroline describe her friends, I let her voice lull me into a state of complacency. Her voice was nice to listen to- a little rough but still sweet sounding. Only loosely did I follow what she said, and I pulled my beer to my lips with tense muscles. It couldn’t have been later than 4a.m., but I didn’t really care.

  Beer was good for any time, day or night, since I wasn’t going to get drunk. I couldn’t even remember the last time I got sloshed.

  “-m mean, honestly, I don’t really like him. I have a thing about dating people I work with, even though we only bump into each other if he knows in advance that I’m coming to the office. He’s not creepy… just not my type, you know? He’s kind of shrimpy, and he wears these old man glasses.” Caroline was rambling when I tuned back into her, and I blinked hard to clear my blurry vision. “If I put him in front of my dad he’d probably shit his pants.”

  “You haven’t dated anyone since your fiancé?” My drawling question cut Caroline off, and I glanced over to watch her shrug absently.

  “Not particularly. I’ve gone on a few dates, but never made it to the third. Besides, Kiki and my photography take up a lot of time. Sometimes, I have to leave with little warning, and most guys don’t like that. Being a photographer isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There’s a lot of bugs, and tents aren’t the most comfortable. There was one guy that wanted to go with me, but when I told him there was no bathrooms, he got skeeved.” Giggling, Caroline’s little story brought a smirk to my face. Letting my head rest back, I chugged the rest of my beer and closed my eyes. “I don’t even really like camping, but I have to do it for my job.”

  “… How’s your ankles?” Just listening to Caroline talk was soothing, and I took a deep breath that mirrored hers. She didn’t respond, and I didn’t push her for an answer.

  Caroline

  “You should call your father, you know.” Shoveling a forkful of rations in my mouth, I chewed slowly as I contemplated James’ suggestion. He was right, of course; I should’ve called my dad when I woke up. There was no reason not to, especially when considering my circumstances. Anyone in their right mind would’ve called the police by now.

  My gaze flickered to Kiki, and I smiled around my food before swallowing roughly.

  “Yeah, later. I don’t want to listen to him rage about my carelessness.” Grumbling absently, I scooped more tasteless mush onto my spork robotically. “He’s an ass when it comes to injuries that could’ve been avoided by not being an idiot.”

  “There’s definitely worse things that could’ve happened. I’m going to borrow your dog, if that’s okay.”

  “Will she listen to you?” The question slipped out before I had a chance to really process what James wanted. Tilting my head to watch him nod firmly, I pursed my lips together tightly as heat suffused my cheeks. “Okay, I guess…”

  “Thanks.” Finishing my breakfast in quiet, I let my mind wander to the night before. James had looked so vulnerable, leaning against the refrigerator as if it was the only thing keeping him upright. Whatever had woken him up had done a lot of damage, and my gaze flickered to my camera by my hip. He didn’t even seem to notice that I had taken pictures of him, and that was as surprising as it had been worrying.

  “… Listen… about last night- It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, but I won’t judge you, James.” Speaking up softly, I looked down at my lap to avoid the intensity in James’ gaze as it ran over my profile. Goosebumps rose on my arms, and I tightened my grip on my ration bag before his gravelly voice reached me.

  “There’s no point in telling you.” Desire rose up in my gut to tell him he was wrong, but he beat me to the punch with a condescending chuckle. “And before you tell me it helps to share, it wouldn’t. Not this time. So, just don’t ask again, Caroline.”

  “Okay.” Effectively shut down, I nibbled my bottom lip as my chest grew tight. Blinking brought up the image of his tortured expression, but in this moment James radiated closed off animosity. Trying to break through that would only make him mad, and I inhaled softly to hold my breath.

  As soon as James was finished eating he got up, and I watched from under my lashes as he stared at Kiki. Pursing my lips into a thin line, I held my breath even as his chest expanded widely beneath his t-shirt.

  “What sound do you use for hunting?” Without looking my way he spoke, and my eyes flew to Kiki as her ears perked up. Her intelligence blew me away sometimes; she knew exactly what was going to happen.

  “Buzzing- like a bee.” My heat beat hardened, picking up speed when James nodded. Making his way around the couch to the door, he twisted the knob with a jerk before jerking his head. Kiki waited for me, watching, and I tilted my head with a growing lump in my throat. We hadn’t been apart since I adopted her, and it was enough to make my eyes sting. Leisurely standing on strong legs, she sauntered towards the open barrier with her head low and tail stiff.

  “We’ll be back. Try to relax.” Grabbing a shot gun I hadn’t noticed, James left with my dog and shut the door behind him. The snitch of the handle was damning, and I let out my breath shakily. Forcing my eyes off the door, I looked around me before noticing the satellite phone sitting where he had just been.

  Reaching for the device, I held the cold lump of metal and plastic in my palm as blood rushed in my ears. Slowly extending the antenna, my thumbs hovered over the numbers until I worked up the courage to press them. My gut tied in knots, and I ground my teeth as I brought the receiver to my ear.

  The phone rang three times before a soft click told me it’d been answered, and I held my breath in aching lungs as my father’s voice echoed around my skull.

  “Hello? Who is this?” Deep and familiar, my dad sounded irritated, and for a second, I was tongue tied. “Hello?”

  “Hey- Dad… it’s me.” My own voice shook slightly, and I cleared my throat harshly before continuing. “Uh, listen. There’s been a bit of a development. So… I kind of… maybe… broke my ankle…”

  “… So, does that mean you’re not on your way back like you were supposed to today, CareBear?” Nodding even though he couldn’t see, I smiled at the dumb note in my dad’s voice as it crackled through the speaker.

  “Yeah. Kiki got me help. I’m just
calling to let you know. I’m going to call an ambulance to get me back, but my truck is still at the campsite.” My loose plan wasn’t going to appease my dad, and he sighed heavily. In my mind’s eye, I could see him raking his hand through his hair with a sour expression painted on his face.

  “What about the help? You said that demon dog got you help? Where are you?” The impatient questions made me chuckle, and I leaned back to stare at the ceiling.

  “He’s a retired Marine. Kiki seems to like him, so I figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to surf his couch for a night until I called an ambulance. He fixed up my ankle, but I still need to go to a hospital.” Awkwardness couldn’t even begin to describe what I felt as I described James to my dad, and I reached to rub my chin absently. “I’m, like, five miles from my campsite, but I don’t know which direction. Where are you right now?”

  “I’m home. Do you need me to come get you? It’ll be a couple hours, but I can bring Sheila so we can get your truck. What about your camera and everything?” Just from the shortness of his words, I could tell my father was already planning on hopping in his own truck. The line crackled, and I heard the jingle of keys in the background.

  “My camera is fine- James went to get it for me after I woke up. I mean, if you want to, you can. If I was in danger or anything, Kiki wouldn’t have gotten him, right? She even went with him just now to get lunch. I feel weird without her.”

  “… So, his name is James, huh? Anyway- I’ll come get you tomorrow if you’re so sure you’re safe, CareBear. I’ll let Sheila know so she can do whatever she does. Do you want us to bring anything?” Furrowing my brows sharply, I moistened my lips with my tongue as surprise dried my mouth.

  “I thought you’d come tromping through the forest like Tarzan to chew me out about breaking my ankle?”

  “I need to make a power point for all of the fucked up stuff you do, Caroline. But you said it yourself- Kiki has no problem with this James character. That’s enough for me. I know how smart that demon dog is, so I’ll come get you tomorrow. Call me if anything happens.” Just like that my father hung up, and I held my phone to my ear as his words buzzed around my skull. Of all the conversations I had anticipation, that one hadn’t made the list. My dad was trusting my dog when he usually had nothing but irritation for her.

  Maybe James being a Marine helped a little… I don’t know.

  Setting the phone down, my fingers twitched, and my lip upturned in amusement. A breathless laugh flowed from my throat, and I shook my head at the sheer absurdity of it all.

  James

  The sensation of Caroline’s gaze against my back tightened my muscles, and I tried hard to ignore her intense attention. Her camera shutter sounded every few seconds, and the click was distracting considering I was wielding a very sharp knife. Butchering a deer wasn’t as easy as people tended to think, and I reached to wipe sweat from my brow with a harsh breath.

  Against my skin the sun beat relentlessly, and I managed to skin the dead doe completely before I started to sizzle like bacon. Tossing the pelt to the edge of the patio carelessly, I dunked my blade in a bucket of water to wash off some of the blood.

  “Are you going to turn the pelt into anything? Like a rug?” Speaking up from her chair, Caroline’s voice dribbled with curiosity even as I twisted to catch her uncovered eye. She was gorgeous in the cold light of day, and my gaze scanned her form as she sat, reclined and comfortable. Things about her face I couldn’t see inside were now so blaringly obvious, and I rolled my jaw absently before turning to my other knives.

  I’d been by myself too long.

  “Maybe.” Lies. I didn’t know how to do any of that crazy woodman shit, and Caroline snorted as if she knew my half assed answer wasn’t truthful. “Your dog was really good out there. How’d you teach her all that shit?”

  Changing the subject easily, I grabbed a paring knife as I posed my question. In my peripheral vision, Kiki lounged under her master’s chair, but even from a few yards away I could sense the smugness radiating from them both. For a dog, Kiki was incredibly smart; she knew she did well. I didn’t know what to expect when I brought her with me, but I’d never seen such a well trained animal. She didn’t need to be told which beast to bring down- she knew how much she’d eat, how much Caroline would eat, and judged based on that.

  Frankly I was half convinced Kiki was some lab rat dog that’d escaped.

  “It wasn’t easy. I had to figure out how to get her from incapacitate to kill shot. I have no problem skinning animals- I do it a lot out here- but I don’t like killing them. Maybe she sensed that. I worked for seven months or so training her before bringing her out with me, and then it all clicked for her or something. Do you do this often, or do you stick to rations and canned soup?” The tease in Caroline’s voice wasn’t to be mistaken, and I cocked my head as I rounded the table the doe was on.

  “Pretty often, I guess. It’s fun… and rewarding. I’m a shitty cook, but the details don’t matter, right?” I couldn’t seem to keep my big fucking mouth shut with her, and her laughter was loud when it pierced my skull. Tightening my grip on my knife, I lifted my head to glare at her as she hid behind her camera. “It’s not fucking funny, Caroline.”

  “Yes it is, James.” Lowering her camera, Caroline ran her hand through her hair as a goofy smile settled between her puffy cheeks. “You run head first into a gun fight, but you can’t make anything other than mac’n’cheese- I don’t mean to be condescending, but did your parents bother to instill you with life lessons?”

  Rolling my eyes, I turned back to the deer to twirl my knife while I contemplated the question. The answer was pretty damn obvious, though.

  My parents didn’t give a shit whether we could do anything because we always had people that did it for us.

  “Not really. That’s not the point, anyway. I carved the thing- that means you cook. Division of labor, right?” My knife slid easily into the supple flesh of the doe’s hind leg, and I furrowed my brows in concentration. Blood and fluid coated my hands and wrists, and one wrong move meant I’d lose a finger. Pursing my lips together as I carefully popped the leg out of socket, I held my breath as Caroline’s voice slithered into my ears.

  “What? I can’t cook if I can’t stand, James. That’s just idiocy. Even with the braces I’ll be lucky to be upright for 10 seconds.” Bland and annoyed, Caroline’s tone sent my heart into an erratic rhythm for all of the time it took to blink. We were always back and forth; there wasn’t a time that we were in the same space that we weren’t borderline arguing. The honest part of my mind wanted to admit that I liked the banter after so long in a dark abyss. The other parts just wanted her to shut up or to change the subject.

  “I have a wheelchair. You’ll be fine. I mean, if you want to eat venison steaks that are completely burned on the outside and raw on the inside…” Letting my response hang, I cracked a smirk at Caroline’s loud gasp-slash-scoff.

  “Like Hell! Fine- be that way. But if I’m cooking, you’re doing the dishes.” Groaning roughly, I stopped what I was doing to stare at Caroline’s triumphant, pretty, heart shaped face. Her light smattering of freckles glowed under the bright sun, and I frowned at the smirk that crinkled her nose.

  “Fine.” There’s just no winning with her. Let it go. Besides, I’ll get a great steak out of it… hopefully.

  The doe had probably only just lost her spots, and carving her didn’t take much time or effort. Above me, the sun had barely moved a few degrees across the sky before I was hauling Caroline back into the kitchen. Briefly glancing at the back bedroom as I set her on a chair, I clenched my jaw at the very idea of having to go in there.

  No matter what I did, I couldn’t get rid of the smell of sweat, afterbirth, and death. I’d thrown out the mattress, doused the floors and walls in bleach- nothing worked. Slowly sauntering towards the door, I hesitated with my hand on the knob and took a deep, stabilizing breath.

  Inside the room there was barely anything, but the phant
oms that haunted the space attacked me as soon as the door was opened. A wheelchair that had never been used sat folded against the wall directly to my right, and I forcefully kept my eyes from wandering as I reached for it. My heart thudded hard, threatening to smash through my ribs with each pump.

  I was beyond the threshold for maybe two seconds, but it was two seconds too long. Closing the door with a harsh bang, I let go of my straining lungs to sigh heavily. Popping open the wheelchair with jerking movements, I tried to ignore that infernal clicking that never seemed to stop. My hope that Caroline would eventually run out of memory on her card seemed to be dashed each time I heard that sound.

  “Why do you look like a piece of your soul just died?...” Even solemn, Caroline’s question was riddled with curiosity, and I shot her a nasty glare. Pushing the wheelchair to her, I flexed my hands and rolled my shoulders in an attempt to shirk off the disgusting feeling that clung to my skin. My shirt clung to my abdomen, and I grabbed the fabric tightly to pull it over my head with a grunt.

  “Fuck off. Cook the damn steaks. I need a shower.” Short and sharp, my words bit at the air as I stormed past her towards the bathroom. Behind me, Caroline sucked in a breath, but I couldn’t find it in me to care if I’d hurt her feelings.

  Shutting myself in the bathroom, I locked the door and shirked off my jeans. Heading for the shower, my legs were stiff, but my thigh didn’t throb angrily like it usually did during stress. Rubbing the spot furiously, I turned on the shower with my free hand to lean against the tempered glass.

  “God fucking damnit…” Berating myself silently as water pounding against tiles drowned out my groan, I clenched and released my jaw. Why in the fuck did I have to mention the wheelchair?

  Oh, right- because Caroline never backs down. It should’ve been such an admirable quality, but in this moment, it was just another crack of a whip at my soul. Why did that damn dog have to pick me?