Going Under

by Lauren Dane

  “But the way I feel about you? Well, I don’t know why I’m surprised, but I love the way I do other things I want. All the way to the bone. I’m in love with you. I don’t want to be a friend you fuck. That demeans us both.”

  “Molly. This is not the time to go changing things or thinking you’re in love. You nearly died! Things are a stressful just now. We can do this talk once things have calmed down.”

  She sighed. “And when will that be? Things are a runaway train hurtling into really bad territory. Who the hell knows if or when it will stop. Now is exactly the time to accept what is already true. I have tampons in your bathroom. I used your razor the other day. We’re already in a relationship. You already love me. Stop denying it. I want to be your woman. You’re already my man. You protected me today, like you do every day. You stayed with me the whole time, you even threatened them when they tried to make you leave.”

  “But I didn’t protect you. I didn’t protect Edwina. I didn’t protect Rose. I didn’t protect my uncle. I’m not a good bet, I keep telling you that.”

  “You do because you’re being dumb. You’re going to take responsibility for a being older than recorded history and so powerful it simply made thousands of Others disappear by an act of its will? Do you think you’re so powerful you can will people into not trying to kill me with your magick? This job is inherently dangerous. That’s why I have a bodyguard. Why you want to make it your fault that people get hurt I can’t figure out. The people at fault are those who planted the bombs.”

  “It’s my job to protect people. People died. So I didn’t do my job.”

  “That’s so overly simplistic and you know it. You have a ridiculously impossible job and yet you do it. Every. Single. Day.”

  “Don’t romanticize me.”

  She may have snarled, but she knew he was trying to push her away so she kept it reined in. “You act like a man worthy of my love. What’s more? You love me too. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t get all pissy about Tosh and his supposed flirting with me or whatever. You wouldn’t care if we were just friends.” She paused and sighed. “Imagine me doing air quotes here because I can’t right now. Just friends my ass. You don’t care about Lark with Simon. Or Meriel with Dominic. We’re already in a relationship so stop this silliness. Now, you promised me food and people will be arriving soon. So accept reality and please feed me.”

  She didn’t need to look at him to know he gaped at her. Served him right.

  “Molly, I care about you. A lot. But love is a big deal.”

  Oh, he would pay for this little bit of denial and for the way it hurt even though she knew it was a lie. And he knew it too, so she’d collect later, but that day she needed to just get through. She had to trust her gut and her heart.

  Things were indeed scary. They were hard and dark and she wasn’t entirely sure if or when they’d ever be normal again, or if they’d have to adjust to a new normal.

  But she loved Gage Garrity with his frowny face and his awesome ass. She loved the way he listened to her. They bickered, but he respected her, which made all that bickering sort of fun and really hot.

  Without another word, he handed her the television clicker and got to work on dinner. She tuned in to see just exactly what had happened all across the globe that day.

  Chapter 27

  GAGE stood at her office door and she took a moment to just look at him before he spoke. She knew by the look on his face that it would be something bad and she wanted that bubble of time to wonder at how magnificent the man was before it burst on the reality he carried.

  He smiled when he realized what she’d been doing. “Hey.”

  Things had been tense between them since the night in his apartment when she’d told him she loved him. But the tension of the outside world had also grown far more quickly, so there hadn’t been a lot of time to obsess over it. Mainly because she’d had to deal with the way some on the media had been spinning the news to make it look like all the attacks and persecution were the fault of the Others because humans felt threatened.

  Threatened. She didn’t see their homes and businesses getting burned down or bombed. The unfairness of it burned until she was filled with anger every waking moment. The entire world was totally illogical and while she did have a gift for swaying people to her perspective, she couldn’t do the whole world and she couldn’t change the minds of crazy people either.

  More attacks. Only now Others were defending themselves and humans were beginning to realize Others simply weren’t going to let themselves be shoved into camps without a fight. And that if they did fight, the humans might not find it so easy to win.

  And this was before they even really had any idea what the Others were capable of.

  “Okay, I’m done. Tell me.”

  “I should report you for objectifying my body.”

  She smiled back. “Yeah? G’head. But then I won’t be able to objectify you anymore and then what? Your whole day will be absent of any objectification from me. That’s what my mom calls cutting off your nose to spite your face.”

  “Good point.” His smile went away. “Car bombs in Alaska. This time vampires.”

  “Oh shit.”

  The vampires had been wavering on leaving the Council of Others. They were sick of the violence. Impatient with the slow pace of the political and diplomatic process. And she didn’t blame them.

  “How bad?”

  “This was an Elder. On his way to a local restaurant with his humans and a few of his staff. They set off what’s essentially a roadside IED.”

  “So Alaska is suddenly Afghanistan? What the hell? What do the local vamps say?”

  “They’re pissed. Every vampire in that car and the one in front of it is dead. Their protected have also died.”

  Protected were the class of humans who served the vampires in dealing with the human world. They took a blood oath to protect them from harm and vampires took that stuff seriously. To kill one who is protected meant the vampires would be honor bound to avenge that death. And to kill an Elder? A vampire over five hundred years old? She had no idea what the cost to the humans would be. But it would be steep and she couldn’t do a thing to stop it. And really, why should she?

  “They just can’t learn. No matter how many chances you give them, they just . . .” She broke off. “It’s time to stop playing around.” She stood and he handed her her crutches.

  “I agree. But what exactly is it you’re planning in that pretty head of yours?”

  “I need to talk with Meriel. And the Full Council. Lark and you as well.” Expertly she walked past him to Rita’s desk and asked her to set up that meeting.

  “Hey, why don’t you let me wheel you wherever you’re going in the wheelchair?”

  She kept moving, heading toward the office Meriel and Dominic shared.

  “The exercise helps burn off the rage.”

  “Molly, I’m sorry. I know you were hoping for . . . well, for a different result.”

  Goddess, he made her want to cry sometimes. Not always in a positive way, but at that moment she wanted to throw her arms around him and kiss him for caring.

  “Don’t be nice to me. I can’t handle it right now.”

  He got in front of her, impeding her progress. “Why don’t we get some lunch? Then you can get yourself together first.”

  “I don’t have time for lunch. Being together is a luxury I can’t afford. Things are falling apart. I’ve been drowning for three and a half months. I used to think it would let up, but I’m deeper and deeper. Going under is the new normal apparently.”

  Gage sighed heavily. “I hate seeing you this way.”

  “I hate being this way.” She walked around him and headed toward Meriel’s office.

  She knocked, but it was Dominic who waved her in, a phone to his ear. He motioned for her to sit and she did, happy to be off her feet again.

  Dominic hung up and turned to her. “I’m guessing you’re here about the Alaska situation?”


  “Yes.” She was so very tired all the sudden and the emotion welled up.

  Dominic got up and shut the door before returning. “Aw sweetheart, let it go.”

  She fanned her face. “I’m mortified. I apologize.”

  “I’m the boss and I do not accept your apology. It’s unnecessary. What do you have to be sorry for? Having feelings? Getting overwhelmed by what has to be one of the most difficult jobs anyone could possibly have? Or being physically attacked on more than one occasion? Personally, I went out to the range this morning and shot off a few dozen clips and after that I boxed for another hour and I’m still angry.”

  “I wanted it to work.”

  He poured her a cup of coffee and placed it near.

  “I wanted the good humans to outnumber the bad ones and stop this nonsense. But it keeps getting worse and I can’t seem to stop it. I wanted to. I keep trying. And there are good people like Senator Sato and so many others who’ve worked so hard to protect us. I feel ungrateful and resentful for not remembering that sometimes.”

  “For what it’s worth, I think good humans do outnumber the bad ones. But they’re not making themselves heard enough over the bigots. And the outcome is what it is. We’re being picked off. Our children are in danger. Our homes aren’t safe. We can’t drive without worry of roadside bombs now?”

  “I used to feel caught between two worlds.”

  “And now?”

  “I feel totally rejected by one and not completely accepted by the other. I’m not totally at home in either.”

  He held his mug up in a toast. “I hear you. I feel very much the same and this is my clan.” His laugh was rueful. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry this has been what it has been. For what it’s worth, it does get better. You get used to how a clan works. They get used to you. They do respect you, which is huge given how insular witches can be. It doesn’t hurt that you’re likeable and pretty too.”

  She snorted. “My old secretary, back at my old firm, would say, ‘Well, at least she’s pretty,’ when a woman was sort of dumb or incompetent.”

  Dominic choked on his coffee, waving a hand at her. “Not what I meant.”

  “I know, I was just teasing.”

  He shook his head as he got his breath.

  “We need to draw a line in the sand now.”

  The words had been on her tongue for at least a month. But she held them back. Over and over. Hoping at some point that she could swallow them and not have to use them.

  “Wow, that was liberating.”

  Dominic grinned at her. “Yeah?”

  She nodded.

  “I agree. So does Meriel. I was just on the phone with her. She’s at a meeting but she’s on her way back and we’d like to set up a meeting with you and the Full Council. I’m guessing that’s why you’re here?”

  “Yes. And probably for the pep talk too. Thanks, Dad.”

  He started and then began to laugh. It was a wonderful laugh and she realized she hadn’t heard it much. Pity that.

  “You have quite a sense of humor a few layers down. Why don’t you tell me what it is you’re thinking?”

  “We’ve been nice. We’ve been diplomatic. We’ve offered up various bits of information and education about ourselves. We’ve been open and honest about what witches are, what shifters and vampires are. The only things we haven’t shared are that our powers seem to be growing since the Magister and that there are beings from the other side of the Veil and demons. And you know what would happen if we told them about demons.”

  He blew out a breath. “Yes.”

  “We’ve tried being firm. We’ve tried retreating a little to give them space. What we’ve gotten in return has not been hopeful. Bills rushing through both houses of Congress to put us in camps. To strip us of our citizenship. We’ve been run off the road, had our houses and businesses burned and vandalized. Riots. Assaults. Murders. Our children are bullied in schools, we’re being fired from our jobs, discriminated against even in direct contravention of the Constitution. In other words, this particular path of media isn’t working.”

  “You’ve done a great job. But you’re right. I’ve seen you take a hostile room and convert it. But you can’t do that to an entire nation. Or hell, maybe you could, but we don’t have the ability to get to them.”

  “Gage suggested a reality show. It was a joke of course, but the Real Housewives of the Others or something like that. We do have Others selling their stories to tabloids now. Nearly all of it is utter nonsense and lies, but it makes us look bad either way.”

  She looked out the window for long moments. “I think we need to deliver a speech. A televised speech.”

  She outlined it for him and by the time Meriel and the rest of the Full Council had arrived, he was on board.

  Chapter 28

  “THANK you for coming. I know you’ve got enough to do with the recent bombing in Alaska.” She bowed slightly to Franco.

  “I’m hoping you’re going to say something I like. If you don’t, there will be war.”

  “Tomorrow at eight a.m. Pacific, I’m giving a televised speech that will also be broadcast on radio and Internet. In that speech I’m going to draw our line in the sand. The witches have had enough. We’ve tried diplomacy and it’s gotten us nowhere. So now we show the fist in the glove.”

  From the corner of her eye, Molly noted Gage shifting in his seat. She hadn’t said much to him. He was pouting that she hadn’t filled him in on any of her plans. She usually did. But there’d been one meeting after the next at the clan and then this meeting had to be set up. In the midst of that, he and Lark had to deal with their own stuff. So it wasn’t as if she could have anyway.

  Nina Warden leaned forward in her seat. “The wolves are meeting right now and waiting to hear what you have to say, Molly. As many of you know, I was born human. I grew up in the human world and I was not made into a wolf of my own free will. I like to think that gives me a unique perspective on this issue. The wolves have been out for years now. We’ve had some problems here and there. We’ve been targeted by the Humans First people with leaflets and some generalized discrimination. But until recently we’ve never had the kinds of problems we all face now. Wolves will not allow our children to be harmed. We will not allow our Elders to be threatened. Our land, our pack is the lifeblood of our culture. Former human or not, we will no longer turn the other cheek.”

  Mia de La Vega, Molly’s pilot and the wife of a high-ranking jaguar shifter in the de La Vega Jamboree nodded. “The wolves and cats are in accord here. You know I respect you, Molly. I’ve seen what you can do and it’s given me hope. But you’re sitting there with a cast on your arm, a splint on your wrist and a cast on your leg. They killed Elder vampires and protected. Police in some cities have begun using silver ammo. We will accept no further threat or violence from the humans.”

  Meriel had been listening quietly but she finally spoke. “Do you realize what you’re saying?”

  Helena Jaansen had been in a far corner guarding the room. She’d come up to meet with Lark and Gage. She stood forward.

  “Gennessee is in accord with Owen, of course. I’ve been on this traveling road trip with Molly and the Others she travels with and with Senator Sato and the other human lawmakers. Not all humans are PURITY. Sato wants to do the right thing. He’s a persuasive voice. He’s principled and good. I know we have to do this, but I want to remind everyone that this is not—should not be—an us versus them situation.”

  “Should be or not, in the end isn’t that exactly what it is?” Mia de La Vega shrugged. “I served in the military. I’ve been decorated multiple times. And still I had a police officer tell me I should be shot in the head and left to die in the gutter while we waited for Molly to arrive at the airport on her way from the hospital.”

  There was back and forth argument on this point for several minutes with passionate debate on several sides of the issue.

  “No, it isn’t exactly what it is. Let me clarif
y.” Molly had let them go on a bit; it was good to let people speak and get things out of their system, but it was time to rein it back in and give the discussion some direction again. “My aim with this speech is not to divide humans and Others. That’s already happening, I don’t need to make it worse and I’ve worked my damndest to make it better. And failed. That’s my failure and I own it. The aim of this speech is to draw that line. We will not be herded into camps. We will not be marked and tracked. We will not allow them to institute any of these ridiculous curfews and other things they want to do to curtail our rights. They need to understand that not only will we not allow that, but that we have the power—magickal and physical—to stop them.

  “There are humans who support our rights. If a majority of them really felt like PURITY, we’d have been overrun. I watched the poll numbers and we came out looking far better than PURITY after the bombing.”

  Molly knew her magick flowed all through the room. Felt it touch shifter and vampire, felt it recognize witch and that particular flavor those like Simon and Faine, from the other side of the Veil, carried. She could control it now. It responded to her will without even a thought. She had no idea she could even do this a month ago and now she grew better at it every single day.

  “But it’s not enough. Our powers are growing. I know this. You know this. The humans don’t need to know the full extent of it. But we are not cartoon witches. We have real power. And it’s time the humans understood what that means. We will no longer be victims. And if someone tries to kill us, we’ll try to kill them right back.”

  “Plus one for the Firefly reference.” Nina winked. “I need to conference back with Lex and Cade. I move we take a recess to confer with our respective leaders and then meet back here to decide on next steps.”