Shame: A Novel

by Taslima Nasrin

  Suranjan wouldn't go anywhere. He had realized the futility of searching for Maya. It was better to stay put at home. If he went out, he would have to hear comments like, "Those infidels, those sons of devils destroyed the Babri mosque. All of them should be severely thrashed to make them leave for India." Suranjan had become tired of hearing such abuse. He no longer believed in the statements of any Socialist party leader or any leftist leader. He had heard many a leftist calling him "a son of a malaun." Krishna Binode Roy was known to all as Kabir Bhai. Barin Datta had to change his name to Abus Salam. Which party could be trusted when even the eminent Communist party leaders didn't feel secure with their Hindu names? Or would he enroll himself as a member of the Jamat? Straightaway, he would approach its leader, Nizami, with a flourish of "Huzur Assalamu Alaikum." Next day bold newspaper headlines would scream out: A HINDU JOINS JAMAT-I-ISLAMI. It is said that Jamat-i-Islami was able to secure votes even in Jagannath Hall.* Of course, because of its tremendous financial resources, it got the votes. If anyone was assured of a monthly income of five thousand takas, who would then refuse to vote Jamat?

  But Suranjan was keen on settling his score with the leftist parties, which, after raising his hopes, had eventually sunk him in the abysmal depth of frustration. In fact, these very party people had relinquished their memberships one by one and had joined the other parties. They changed their stand as well. Following the death of Comrade Farhad, all Muslim rituals were strictly observed at the office of the Communist party of Bangladesh with great fanfare. His funeral, too, was held with Islamic rituals. Why was it so? Why did communists finally have to take shelter under the Islamic flag? It must be to escape the embarrassment of being branded as atheists. But even so, could they save themselves? Even after such a show, could they earn the confidence of the people? Suranjan didn't blame the people; the real offenders, he felt, were the directionless socalled leftist leaders themselves.

  The number of madrasas was on the rise. This system was indeed quite efficacious in crippling a country economically. It was Sheikh Mujibur himself who took the initiative in setting up madrasas in villages, who had ruined this country!

  The nation, which had fought a liberation war in 1971 and launched the language movement, was now in a disastrous condition of unbelievable magnitude. Where was that awareness of Bengali nationalism? Where was that consciousness that proclaimed that the Hindus, Muslims and Buddhists of Bengal belonged to the nation of Bengalis? Suranjan felt very lonely. As if he were not a Bengali, not even a human being. He was just a Hindu, a two-legged animal which had become a foreigner in his own land.

  In the country's administrative structure, there was a separate ministry called the religious affairs ministry. The allocation under this head last year was quite generous. Suranjan would certainly call it so. Under the nondevelopment head was this grant for the promotion of religion. The Islamic Foundation, Dhaka, got 1,500,000 takas; the Waqaf (religious properties) administration got 800,000 takas; sanctions for other religious matters, 26,000,000 takas; the Jakat (charity) administration fund, 2,200,000 takas. The Islamic mission institution received 220,000 takas, the minorities 250,000 takas. The free supply of power to the mosques, 12,000,000 takas. The free supply of water to the mosques, 5,000,000 takas. The Tara mosque of Dacce got 300,000 takas. The total allocations came to 84,570,000 takas. The maintenance of the Baitul Mokarram mosque cost 1,500,000 takas. Total nondevelopmental allocations, including those for teaching and consolidation of development-based programs and its expansion, amounted to 109,338,000 takas. The minorities in the country numbered 250 million. To sanction a mere 250,000 takas for their religion was quite funny indeed!

  Religion figured even in developmental expenditures: for the religion ministry: 2,000,000 takas. The compilation and publication of an Islamic encyclopedia: 2,000,000 takas. The project for the Islamic cultural center of the Islamic Foundation: 19,000,000 takas. The publication research and translation program of the Islamic Foundation: 16,875,000 takas. Plan for teaching Imams (religious heads), the library development program of the Islamic Foundation: 1,500,000 takas. Mosque library scheme: 2,500,000 takas. The expansion of Islamic cultural centers in new districts, Imam training centers and training academies: 15,000,000 takas. A grand total on development of 56,895,000 takas. There were subdivisions within the allocation of 260,000 takas for other religious purposes. For Islamic religious occasions and festivals: 500,000 takas. For program-based grants for different Islamic religious organizations: 2,860,000 takas. For the repair and maintenance of different mosques in the country under the supervision of honorable members of Parliament: 20,000,000 takas. The allocation for religious representatives coming from or going abroad amounted to 1,000,000 takas. Subscriptions or donations to international religious institutions came to 640,000 takas. The rehabilitation of neo-Muslims and distressed persons came to 1,000,000 takas. The total allocation for religious purposes under development and nondevelopment headings amounted to 166,213,000 takas.

  The allocation for the rehabilitation of neo-Muslims was quite amusing. One million takas had been earmarked for this account. But no allotment had been made for the minorities under the heading of development. It was indeed reprehensible to allot such huge amounts to lure others into converting to a particular religion in a multi-religion, multi-caste poor country. The economic backbone of the country was shattered. Had anyone cared to know what was the load of foreign debt for each person? How rational was the allocation of such an enormous amount for Islamic affairs in a crippled economy of this sort? The lopsided allocation in this budget was also disrupting the national integrity of the country. Did anyone care to consider these factors at all?

  As Suranjan was musing over these matters, Kajal Debnath opened the door and entered.

  "What's the matter? You are still lying in bed at this hour? Has Maya come back?"

  "No." Suranjan said, emitting a deep sigh.

  "Tell me if I can do anything. We must do something."

  "What can you do?"

  Kajal Debnath had salt-and-pepper hair and was over forty. He was dressed in a loose shirt, with wrinkles of anxiety furrowing his forehead. He took out a packet of cigarettes and offered one to Suranjan.

  Suranjan accepted. He hadn't bought cigarettes for quite some time. Whom could he ask for money? Certainly not Kiranmayee. He had stopped visiting the other room simply out of shame. As if he alone suffered the ignominy of losing Maya! He felt shame all the more because he alone bothered about the country too much, he alone was keen to prove the largely noncommunal attitude of the people of this nation. He was too embarrassed to present himself before an idealist, honest and upright person like Sudhamay.

  Suranjan went on smoking on an empty stomach. If Maya were there, she would have objected with the warning: "Dada, you are smoking on an empty stomach only to invite cancer that will kill you."

  It wouldn't have been bad if he had cancer. He would have waited for death just lying down. He wouldn't have to live for the fulfillment of any expectation.

  Kajal Debnath was at a loss over what to do now. He said, "Today they took away your sister, tomorrow it will be my daughter's turn. And this sort of thing will surely happen. Today they hit Gautam on his head. Just wait, it may be you or I tomorrow."

  Suranjan said, "Could you tell me what we are basically, human beings or Hindus?"

  Kajal looked around the room and said, "They came to this room as well, didn't they?"

  "Yes."

  "What was Maya doing at the time?"

  "Heard she was preparing food for Baba."

  "Couldn't she hit them back?"

  "How could she? They were armed with thick clubs, iron rods. And what power does a Hindu have to touch a Muslim? In India, the minority Muslims venture counterstrikes. When two sides fight it out, it can be called a riot, which, in fact, was occurring in that country. And the people describe the incidents in this country as riots. What is happening here is nothing but communal terrorism. It can
be termed persecution or torture. One side is thoroughly beating up or killing the other."

  "Do you think Maya will come back some day?"

  "Don't know." Suranjan invariably felt a choking sensation at the mention of Maya's name. An emptiness prevailed in his heart.

  "Kajalda, what else happened in the country?"

  Kajal Debnath blew a ring of smoke toward the ceiling of the room. He then began his dreadful litany: Twentyeight thousand seven hundred commercial establishments, three thousand six hundred temples were totally or partially devastated. Twelve people were killed. The total damage was more than 20 million takas. Village after village had been laid waste. Forty-three districts had been caught in this orgy of violence. Two thousand six hundred women had been raped and molested. The most severely damaged temples were the five-hundred-year-old temple of the great saint Gauranga Mahaprabhu, which was located in Sylhet; the several-hundred-year-old Kali temple at Baniachang; Kaibalyadham at Chittagong; Tulshidham; Madanmohan Akhra at Bhola; and Ramkrishna Mission outposts at Sunamgunj and Faridpur.

  Suranjan asked, "Didn't the government offer any aid?"

  "No. Not only was the government not forthcoming, it didn't allow any other social service organizations to offer relief. Of course, some nongovernment organizations come forward on their own initiative. Thousands of people are still spending their days and nights under the canopy of the open sky. These displaced people have no clothes to put on, no food, no home. Some of the raped women have become dumb with shock, they can't talk. The businessmen, having lost everything, are sitting idle. Still, they are being robbed of what scanty possessions they could salvage, and forced to give up their lands to the grabbers. The damage caused to the properties amounts to 750 million takas in Barishal Division, 200 million takas in Chittagong and 100 million takas in Dhaka Division, with Khulna and Rajsahi following with 10 million takas each. That makes a grand total of 1,070,000,000 takas. Added to this are the losses sustained by the commercial establishments amounting to 220 million takas and the damaged and devastated temples at another 570 million takas."

  "I can't take it anymore, Kajalda, I just can't."

  "Do you know what's the worst aspect of this? A mass exodus. There is no way to stop a massive migration of people this time. The official circles, of course, maintain that there is no migration of Hindus. Didn't the noted Calcutta magazine Desh write once that every year, about one hundred fifty thousand Bangladeshis are infiltrating into India and the bulk of them are not going back? During the last two decades, more than half a million minorities have been forced to leave this country. Just look at the census report that says that in 1941 the Muslims constituted 70.3 percent of the East Bengal population as against 28.3 percent Hindus. In 1951, the Muslims rose to 76.5 and Hindus dropped to 22.0. This 'Muslims up' and 'Hindus down' trend continued, showing the former at 80.4 and the latter at 18.5 in 1961. In 1974 it was 85.4 and 13.5; in 1981 the figures were 86.7 and 12.1, and in 1991 the Muslims swelled to 87.4 percent and Hindus shrank to 12.6. What does all this mean? In each census the number of Muslims was going up and the Hindu population was continuously shrinking. If their number dwindles, where are they going? The official version of 'no Hindu migration' is then being contradicted by the census figures. Why this discrepancy? Now they have decided to tinker with the census report? There won't be any separate counting of Hindus and Muslims any more."

  ? „ Y•"

  "Because otherwise the uncomfortable fact of the continuous drop in the number of Hindus will be known to people."

  "Then this government can be said to be quite crafty, isn't that so, Kajalda?" said Suranjan, stretching his arms.

  Kajal Debnath lit another cigarette without adding anything to his narrative. Then he asked, "Is there an ashtray?"

  "Why not treat the entire room as a giant ashtray?"

  "I would like to meet your parents, but I really have no words of consolation for them." Kajal Debnath hung his head in shame. He felt so dispirited, as if it were his own brother who had kidnapped Maya.

  Maya again. Suranjan's chest felt like exploding in a volcanic eruption. He quickly changed the topic: "Well, Kajalda, Jinnah said that from now on we all would be Pakistanis; there wouldn't be any Hindu-Muslim divide. Has there, after his ensuring utterance, been any decrease in the migration of Hindus to India?"

  "Jinnah was an Ismailia Khoja community member. Although Muslims, the members of this community follow the Hindu inheritance laws. His real surname was Khojani. His name was Jhinabhai Khojani. He retained just the Jhina part of the name and dropped the rest. Despite Jinnah's assurance, Hindus became victims of discrimination. Otherwise, why should more than a million Hindus leave East Pakistan even before June 1948? They became known as refugees in India."

  "Many Muslims also came here following riots in West Bengal."

  "Yes, but most of those Muslims who came from Assam and West Bengal also went back to their places of origin following the signing of the Nehru-Liaquat All Pact between the Indian and Pakistani governments, which stipulated that the minorities of both countries would enjoy equal rights irrespective of their religions. The pact assured them of their rights to life, property and culture along with the ensuring of freedom of speech and of religion. Those people who came here returned to India on the basis of the conditions of this pact. But those who had left here never came back. Despite their remaining on the other side, the exodus of minorities for India was stopped for the time being. But it started again following the passing of two laws in the Pakistani legislature in 1951, the East Bengal Evacuee Property Act and the East Bengal Evacuees Act, which acted as fresh stimulants to the minorities to leave the country. Eventually the number of such people soon swelled to three and a half million. Your father must know all this."

  "Baba never speaks to me about these things. He would just blow up if the question of leaving the country was broached. He can't tolerate this."

  "We don't entertain the idea of quitting the country. But those who are going away for good are doing so secretly. So how can you prevent it? Some sort of assurance must be given to them. After all, no one leaves his own land willingly. Isn't there a saying in the scriptures that he is happiest who doesn't live outside his land? The Muslims are rather a wandering people. There is historical evidence of their moving from one country to another. But a Hindu holds his land dose to his heart."

  While talking, Kajal Debnath walked to the verandah, possibly to smother his own emotion.

  Coming back, he said, "My soul is screaming for a cup of tea. Come, let's go out to a tea shop."

  Suranjan didn't change his dress. He hadn't bathed and had been virtually without food for quite some time. Still, he hoisted himself out of bed and said, "Let's go, then. By staying in bed continuously, all my body joints seem to have become rusty."

  Suranjan went out, leaving the door open. After all, what was the point in closing it? After that fateful night, there was hardly anything in the house worth taking. Walking with him, Kajal Debnath asked, "Are you eating at home regularly?"

  "Ma leaves food in my room; sometimes I eat, sometimes I don't. Nor do I feel like eating. I just don't like to." Suranjan ran his fingers through is hair, not to arrange it, but to get over the agony within him.

  Suranjan picked up the broken thread of their conversation: "Kajalda, perhaps the rate of Hindu migration dropped somewhat during 1969-70."

  "The six-point movement was launched in 1966. The mass uprising was in 1969, the general elections in 1970, and then there was the liberation war of 1971. During this period the rate of Hindu migration had indeed gone down. A large number of Hindus left the country between 1955 and 1960. But the exodus went into full swing between 1960 and 1965. During this period about one million Hindus left the country. The beginning of the liberation war saw the massive exodus of one hundred million who took shelter in India. Returning home at the end of the war, many Hindus that saw their houses and other properties had been illegally occupied. Some the
n trekked back to India, some stayed behind in the faint hope of recovering what they had lost. They hoped for safety from the newly independent country. Then you must have noticed that even in 1974, the Mujibur government did nothing but change the name of the Enemy Property Act, retaining all its draconian contents. Zia-ur-Rahman restored the antifreedom communal forces to power and deleted the secularism part from the constitution. Then Ershad started the Islamic revivalism movement. Ershad announced on December 22, 1982, that from now on the principles of the Koran and Islam would be the foundation of the new constitution. Who could have thought that even after being exploited in the name of religion for twenty-four long years, religion would bounce back into politics with such a flourish?"

  They stopped outside a tea stall. Kajal Debnath, gazing hard at Suranjan, said, "You appear to be quite inattentive. You are asking questions which you should know the answers to. Why? Seems you have been suffering from a tremendous restlessness. Calm down, Suranjan. Why should a talented boy like you suffer from frustration?"

  They sat at a table facing each other. Kajal Debnath asked Suranjan, "Will you eat anything with your tea?"

  Suranjan nodded his head. Yes, he would like to eat something. He ate two singaras. Kajal Debnath also ate a singara. After eating he said to the boy in the shop, "Can we have some paani?"

  Suranjan heard the word paani.

  At home, Kajal Debnath would say jal to mean water. But here he used the word used by the Muslims, paani. Was it just the outcome of practicing to say so outside? Or was it out of fear? Although keen on knowing from Kajal, he couldn't ask. He felt they were being watched by many pairs of eyes. He sipped his tea quite fast. Was it out of fear? Why was he getting so frightened? His tongue was scalded, for the tea was very hot. The youth watching him intently from the next table had a goatee on his chin and wore a knitted cap on his head. He could be in his early twenties. Suranjan had an impression that this boy must have been among Maya's kidnappers; otherwise why should he be listening so attentively to their conversation? Suranjan also noticed a smirk on his face. Was he taunting him to remind him what a nice game they had had with his sister?