Destructive King

by Rachel Van Dyken

  I let myself hope as all of the older cousins made their way to the theater room where we usually hung out. Sparring was completely out of the question since everyone was undergoing a turkey coma. The younger kids went to the basement to watch their own movie that didn’t have bad words, and all the parents knew at this point that we refused to censor what we watched—it was the mafia, I mean, really, what’s the point?

  Junior and Serena jumped on the love sac in the bottom corner of the room that was shrouded in almost as much darkness as the couch on the other side. The one I commandeered.

  Tank started walking toward me.

  I gave him a look that said walk away.

  His jaw clenched, and then he was going in the opposite direction toward the single-seat theater loungers.

  Valerian and Val surrounded King and Maksim, Kartini and Izzy huddled in the corner, most likely talking shit about Tank because they could.

  The lights flickered overhead.

  And then they were completely off.

  “The hell?” I jumped to my feet.

  “Chill.” Dante’s voice sounded from the hall. “We tripped a breaker with all that turkey making—give it a few minutes.”

  And then he was gone.

  “Ummm.” I would recognize the panic in Annie’s voice anywhere.

  I quickly turned on the flashlight on my cell and searched for her; she was standing just inside the room, equal distance from Tank and me.

  We both moved at the same time that she did as she made her way down the stairs and toward me as if she hadn’t even seen Tank, but when he stopped right next to her as she faced me, I could see the guilt there as she hung her head and then flashed a smile up at him. “I’ll just sit down here.”

  “Annie—”

  “Tank.” She crossed her arms.

  He shook his head vehemently. “I don’t get it. I’m never going to fucking get why girls love being treated like shit, more than the queens they are.“ He zeroed his focus in on me. “And yeah, I know you want to slit my throat, but you don’t deserve her, Ash. You’re toxic; you’ll always be toxic and cruel. She deserves better.”

  “Like you?” I snorted.

  “Pissing match, party of two,” Junior coughed. “We can aaallll hear you.”

  “Good, then you can all see the beginning of this so that I can say told you so when it ends like shit!” Tank threw up his hands. “He’s going to break you, Annie. Just don’t expect me to be waiting to pick up the pieces.”

  He stormed out of the room, leaving us in an awkward silence as everyone glanced in our direction and then looked away, flashlights turning down to give me and Annie privacy.

  I reached for her hand and tugged her against my body. “Hey, he’s just angry. I know a lot about anger. It has a way of blinding you, consuming, let him feel it, he’ll be fine tomorrow.”

  She let out a shudder and then an exhale. “Maybe I should go check on him.”

  “I’m sure one of the guys went after him.” I was going to Hell for that. “Sit, relax… preferably on my lap.”

  I could almost feel her roll her eyes. “I think I’ll just sit next to your… lap.”

  “Your loss.”

  “Or gain,” she said softly. “It just depends on how you look at it.”

  She seemed distant.

  And I only had Tank to blame.

  Well, that and my shitty treatment of her for the past year.

  I took a deep breath and leaned back just as the lights flickered back on, only to have Junior turn them down again and announce we were watching Elf.

  What was it about the dark that made you less brave?

  That suddenly stole your breath from your lungs?

  Had you counting the beats of your heart as they picked up speed.

  Measuring the inches between your fingertips and someone else’s?

  Nothing had changed, and yet everything had, as the necklace I wore nearly burned a hole through my chest.

  A reminder of my past.

  And the fact that I still could have a future where I wasn’t so miserable, I destroyed everything in my path because I could, because I hurt.

  I leaned back against the couch while Annie sat ramrod straight, watching the movie like she’d never seen it.

  So instead of watching what I’d seen over and over for years.

  I watched her.

  Every expression.

  Every small smile.

  Every sharp intake of breath.

  And what I saw was beautiful.

  I hated myself more than I’d ever admit out loud in that moment.

  She’d given her fucking pearls to a dirty grave, her pearls. Something that meant everything to her, which meant Claire had meant everything to her as well, but I’d missed it.

  Fuck. I’d missed it all. And I had no idea how to even begin to fix it other than to show her rather than use the words she no longer trusted.

  She laughed a truly happy laugh that slid over me and inside me and made me long for more.

  I put a hand on her thigh and then slid it up past her hips to her shoulder as I leaned in and whispered, “You’re really pretty.”

  She froze.

  A trickle of unease went down my spine.

  Slowly she turned, and with trembling lips, said, “I can’t.”

  “Can’t what?” I smirked.

  “Play.” She swallowed and looked down at her hands. “I can’t play a game I don’t know the rules to. So if you could just…” She licked her bee-stung lips. “Just watch the movie, and be my friend… I can—I can handle that, but anything else just feels like a game where I don’t know the rules, one I’m bound to eventually lose. And Ash…” Her eyes were sad. “I don’t have much left to lose.”

  My stomach sank. “But we’re friends… right?”

  She was quiet for a minute and then put her hand on mine and whispered, “Friends.”

  My hands shook to grip hers, to tug her against me and kiss her, to give her multiple gifts.

  How ironic that the very thing I wanted to give her.

  She didn’t want.

  It was too late, wasn’t it?

  I was too late.

  Always too late.

  Even with her heart.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Death is the golden key that opens the palace of eternity.” —John Milton

  Annie

  For the rest of the movie, the air between us was charged… and so awkward I wanted to cry. Ash wasn’t necessarily distant. He just seemed… sad.

  So many times, I wanted to elbow him, force him to tease; even being mean would have been nice.

  Instead, he was polite.

  And I kind of hated it.

  It wasn’t like I wanted the asshole back. I just didn’t know where we stood. And was the one who’d said friends, and I couldn’t honestly live with myself if I just forgave everything so easily.

  Sure, was I attracted to him?

  The dirt would be attracted to him.

  Was I half in love?

  Yes.

  Was it dangerous to my heart, soul, and sanity? Absolutely.

  I had fled the country and freaking cut my hair because of that asshole, because of that night.

  “Until the stars fall,” his voice whispered in my head.

  I wanted to scream as heat swept across my cheeks. Being drunk did nothing for his stamina. If anything— No, I couldn’t go there, I couldn’t even process it, because if I did, I’d start to relent, I’d get weak, and I had sworn to myself in Italy that I would never be a victim again, that I would fight for me.

  So even though I wanted to give in so bad…

  He needed to earn me.

  To earn my trust.

  “Hey,” Serena interrupted my train of thoughts. “Want a ride back home?”

  I stupidly looked around for Ash and realized he’d fallen asleep on the couch right next to me. My heart deflated a bit.

  Ugh, I needed to get a ha
ndle on the whiplash of emotions I had concerning him.

  “Yeah.” I nodded and smiled. “That would be great, thanks.”

  Serena eyed me and then Ash, her eyes missing nothing as she licked her full lips; how purple lipstick looked sexy on her, I had no clue. Paired with her long platinum hair, tight jeans, and cropped white sweater, and I felt like I should be pushing a shopping cart through an alleyway. “Cool, let’s go. Junior’s driving.”

  Junior shot us both a wink then gave us his back as we all trailed behind him out of the theater room. Associates nodded in our direction as we passed; I would never get used to that.

  Used to the way they bowed as if I was royalty too when I was the pauper who didn’t even have her own bank account.

  I straightened my shoulders.

  Not for long.

  Just graduate.

  Stay safe.

  My future was always hard to look forward to, especially now that I saw flickers of Ash in it.

  Damn it.

  It was starting to snow as we made our way outside past the expensive sports cars and toward Junior’s new Uris Lamborghini SUV. Had someone told me a year ago that this would be my life getting in a car that cost more than two houses combined, I would have rolled my eyes and then burst into tears for giving myself hope even in my dreams.

  Junior opened the back door; I scooted across the leather then did a double-take when Serena did the same thing.

  “Um…” I tucked my hair behind my ears; some of it fell forward anyway. “Hi?”

  “Hey.” She clapped her hands. “All right Junior, chop, chop, places to go, people to ruin.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” He chuckled, and the engine roared to life as he pulled around the circular driveway and out the gates. “I’ll just be up here ignoring whatever the hell Serena thinks you guys need to talk about.” His gorgeous jaw flexed as he smiled and then winked those nearly aqua eyes through the rearview mirror.

  “I know.” Serena sighed. “He’s too pretty, right?”

  “I’m all man,” Junior grumbled.

  “Yes, all man, congrats, you have a penis. Oh, also you have one job. Drive!”

  “Driving.” He held up one hand, keeping the other on the wheel.

  Before I could take another breath, Serena whipped her head around and locked eyes with me; it was like a freaking tractor beam, her stare. “What did you do?”

  “Wait, what?”

  “To Ash.” She crossed her arms. “He’s acting human, he actually cracked multiple smiles today, and Junior swore it was either the second coming or he’s the anti-Christ. So which is it?”

  “Um… neither?” I bit my lower lip. “And what makes you think it was me?”

  “The look,” Junior interrupted. “He had the look.”

  “What’s the look?” I made air quotes.

  Serena mimicked me and leaned in. “It means he’s seeing only one thing right now, and that one thing isn’t pain, or anger, or destruction, it’s…” She hesitated, only for Junior to answer.

  “It’s his queen.”

  My throat hurt, burned with the need to say something like it’s not me, I wish it was, but there’s too much hurt, too much destruction, blood, carnage… instead, I said nothing.

  “Whatever it was,” Junior said from the front seat, “thank you.”

  “N-no problem, I mean really it wasn’t—”

  Serena reached out and touched my arm. “It was. It is. He’s… acting human.”

  I smiled sadly down at where her black fingernails touched my fair skin. So different, weren’t we? And yet still so human, in need of one thing. Love. “His humanity was never the problem… it was his guilt.”

  The car turned down the long road leading to Chase’s compound, and gravel crunched beneath the tires, the only sound breaking the silence that had fallen.

  Lonely.

  I was still lonely.

  “Sometimes.” I began talking again like she was my therapist, and Junior, our freaking driver. “It just takes pain, recognizing pain. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

  Junior brought the car to a stop and put it into park. “All right, princess, your castle awaits.”

  I smiled. “Thanks for the ride.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the car door, then felt a tug on my arm as Serena pulled me back against her in a gruff hug, rasping in my ear. “Thank you.”

  “He’s my friend,” I said, unable to move. I’d always loved Serena, but I’d been closer to Claire than Izzy. “I would do anything for him.”

  “And we would do anything for you,” Junior spoke for her. “Remember that. Even though you aren’t blood, you’re family, so you may as well be. We protect our own… you don’t have to be alone anymore, Annie. Now, your loneliness is a choice, all right?”

  “And yet it doesn’t always feel that way,” I said sadly.

  “Then don’t fucking let it.” Serena let me go and nearly shoved me out of the car. “And give him hell.”

  “Why do people keep saying that to me?” I wondered out loud.

  Junior barked out a laugh. “Because he deserves it.”

  “Preach.” Serena winked and then hopped out of the back and moved to the passenger side of the SUV. “We mean it… we’ve got you.”

  “I know you do,” I said softly. “I just need time to believe it.”

  “That’s fair, princess, that’s fair.” Junior saluted me, and then they were driving away.

  Suddenly exhausted, I yawned and walked the short distance to the front door. It was open as usual before midnight, plus the place was completely surrounded by fencing, all thirty acres.

  That and cameras and, according to Ash, guns.

  Yay us.

  At least we were safe.

  I smiled at the thought.

  Safe.

  I’d never been so safe in my entire life—including when the bomb had been sent in the creepy stuffed horse.

  As much as I wanted to just crash, I knew I needed a shower, so I took my time in stripping my clothes and going into the en suite bathroom.

  Steam filled the room as I thought about the day.

  About the weird convo with Serena and Junior that a year ago would have had me in tears of complete fear and confusion.

  And now… now I felt strong.

  Life was so strange, wasn’t it?

  I washed the day away, and shut off the shower, grabbed a towel, and dried off, wrapping the towel around my body as I went back into my room.

  “You left,” Ash said from behind me.

  I jerked upright and banged my ankle against the bed stand, then stumbled backward toward the bed, finally sitting on it and crossing my legs like I planned on a graceful fall. “What are you doing?”

  “Making sure you’re okay.” His massive body was leaning against the doorframe. I hated how he seemed to swallow it whole, with his dark jeans and tight shirt.

  I equally hated how delicious his tattoos looked in the moonlight like he was some sort of punishing deity sent down to wreak havoc on us mere mortals.

  His whiskey-colored hair seemed to come alive in the flicker of light still on in the bathroom and spilling into my bedroom.

  I clutched my towel tighter. “Well, I’m safe, so you can just… go.”

  His eyes flickered with amusement. “But I just got here.”

  “Hah.” I crossed and uncrossed my legs awkwardly. “At least let me put on some clothes then?”

  “Negative.” He shrugged. “I like you… a bit unsure. Plus, I can see almost completely up your right leg until it goes dark, and my memory is really fucking good.”

  I grabbed a pillow and chucked it at him.

  He caught it with one hand and a laugh, then tossed it to the floor and continued walking toward me.

  Self-preservation had me jolting from my bed because my heart was completely on board with dropping the towel and begging him to kiss me.

  To say my name.

  Not hers.

  To know, witho
ut a shadow of a doubt, that he was kissing me.

  Loving me.

  Asking the stars to stay in the sky—for me when he’d only ever begged the sky to stay for Claire.

  I sucked in my bottom lip and backed toward my bookcase, naturally stumbling into it because my focus was completely on his predatory body and the way he seemed to almost dance through the night air.

  Something crinkled beneath my foot.

  Frowning, I looked down.

  Oh no!

  “Annie…” His voice was low. Deadly. “Are those my fruit snacks?”

  My stomach dropped as his eyes locked on mine with an intensity that was so terrifying I nearly stopped breathing. “No. Nope. They’re, mine, totally mine.”

  He bent down and grabbed one of the packages that had spilled from the bin in my bookcase. “Really? Because I write down the date of each box I purchase, and this matches what I wrote down in my dream journal that day.”

  “What?” My knees knocked together. “You write it down?”

  “Did you miss the dream journal part?” He looked up with a grin on his face. “And I’m shitting you. I know they’re mine because I’ve been missing almost an entire box for a week…”

  “Maybe…” I shrugged. “I bought my own.”

  “You know you’re the worst liar ever, right? Like if I asked you to tell me the sky was brown, I think you’d stutter halfway through and then look away and lamely try to change the subject.”

  “That’s not true!” Asshole! “Plus, they’re mine. Finders keepers.”

  “Ohhhh, is that how this game works?” He was right in front of me, all masculine perfection, flawless full pout, a strong jaw that I wanted to reach out and touch then slap because it was so perfect. “I find it, I keep it?”

  “Yup.” I lifted my chin.

  His arms came around me in a flash, and then his forehead touched mine. “Found you. Keeping you.”

  My lower lip trembled. “That’s a really manipulative way to try to get your fruit snacks back.”

  “Is it working?” He pulled me tenderly against his chest. “What if we trade?”

  “I have nothing more to give.”

  “Ohhh…” His eyes searched mine. “I’m not so sure about that.”

  I tried to keep my towel tightly wound around me, but his eyes were hypnotic demons from hell that had me loosening my grip to the point that I had one hand holding it in front of me, pressed between our bodies, touching the necklace I gave him.