Shattered

by T. L. Reeve

  “You don’t have to say it yet,” Jefferson murmured across his lips.

  “I love you too; you sentimental old fool.” Jochi smiled.

  “Thank God.” He smacked his mate’s hip. “Now, where were we?”

  “I think you were going to fuck my brains out,” Jochi said, glancing up at him.

  “Yes, now I remember.” Jefferson wrapped his arms around his mate and sighed. Everything else would come later.

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  Prologue Pt. 1

  June 2032

  Apache County Sheriff’s office, three weeks ago...

  Royce Raferty walked into the Sheriff’s department determined to end the charade he’d been tasked with for the last three years. He couldn’t continue hurting his sweet little mate. Charisma deserved better than that.

  Their relationship hadn’t been the most stable. Royce and Maxwell Steele—an FBI agent who willfully took the position of protector to watch over a small, severely abused, and neglected coyote—had tried to keep a professional front when it came to the senator’s curvy daughter. But, every time Royce had been around her, he couldn’t control himself.

  It had also led Charisma to believe he didn’t want her.

  Not the case. He did. Wholly. Unconditionally. She needed to know the truth. He planned on telling her later, when he returned from his meeting with Kalkin.

  Three years ago, Kalkin came to him after the first night of a full moon—the same night Royce claimed his Oasis. For the last nine years he’d been doing his own investigation of Holly Geithner, aka Holly Raferty. The story Hayden and Holly gave never jived with the Alpha, it appeared, and he wanted to dig deeper. Why Royce had to embed himself in the unlikely trio of Katie, Brooklyn, and Holly hadn’t made sense at the time, though now it did.

  At least, partly.

  Now, however, Charisma was retreating from him.

  He missed her soft sighs. Her laughter. He missed the way her plush body would soften the minute he sank balls deep inside her. He missed everything, but most of all, he missed being able to look her in the eye when he made love to her.

  His wolf snarled and snapped at him at all hours of the day and night, because he couldn’t fix it without telling her the truth. A truth he promised never to reveal until the mission was complete. He punished them both for his deceit and, worst of all, he couldn’t look at her when the full moon rode him hard.

  Couldn’t look at her when he lied about his job.

  Their bed became a cold, sterile environment. He used her body to gain some control over his traitorous ways and lessen his guilt. Unfortunately, it only ate at his gut more and soured everything between him and Charisma. He called her his Oasis for a reason. She’d been his bright spot when nothing made sense. She’d been the one to help him process his feelings when Mackenzie came home.

  He dimmed her existence with his unintentional actions. She no longer beckoned for him in the darkness, guiding him to do the right thing. Royce Raferty was lost, and it’d been all his fault.

  Royce used his pass card to shove through the department. Everyone was on patrol now. He could have that conversation he’d meant to have three years ago, when he’d gotten in too deep. Today he’d tell Kalkin, enough was enough. He couldn’t continue.

  He knocked on his uncle’s door and waited. Kalkin Raferty never did anything without reason; nevertheless, his reasons came at a cost to everyone around him—family had never been immune to it. Even the station had been uncharacteristically quiet, given the time. When the door opened, he stopped dead in his tracks as the Alpha standing before him strode over to where Royce’s desk sat, situated between his uncles’ workspaces. Kalkin pointed to the chair, but Royce placed his ass to the surface, a sheer act of defiance, if only small in measure. Kalkin snorted, pulling out the chair across from him.

  Royce waited.

  He gathered up his courage. He wouldn’t allow the man he’d called uncle to dictate his life anymore. He’d turn in his badge before he allowed his uncle to manipulate him one day longer.

  “Pup?” The rough edge of his uncle’s tone had the hairs on the back of Royce’s neck standing on end.

  “It’s over,” Royce snarled. His hands clenched at his sides. The distinct pop of his knuckles didn’t cause him pause. “I will not be a part of your games. Charisma is my mate, and I can’t keep hurting her.”

  Kalkin’s lip curved. A low growl vibrated in his chest. “This is why I didn’t want you knotting her. I needed you for this assignment! You were the only one I could count on.”

  “No.” Royce gave a humorless chuckle. “I was the only one stupid enough to try to please you. You figured I’d done it all my life, you could keep pushing me.”

  Kalkin leaned forward, getting into Royce’s face. His lips pulled back to reveal the curved canine of his wolf seeping through his facade of control. “Remember who you’re talking to, pup.”

  He snorted. “Every day.” He stood and began to pace. “I have given you three years of my life for this investigation. Three years of not being able to look at my mate. Three years of avoiding the full moon, to the point I physically hurt, and what do I get in return? Nothing.”

  Kalkin sighed. “Royce—”

  “No. Don’t Royce me. While you get to hold your mate at night, I get a cold bed with no comfort. While you have pups running around your home, I have to lie to my mate. While you have a welcoming mate, I have to take mine from behind, so she doesn’t see the depth of my deceit or my gut-wrenching guilt.”

  “You think I don’t see it in Charisma’s eyes when she’s working with Keeley and Danielle? That I can’t smell it? Fuck, Royce. You think I don’t look at your father every day and see the lies he’s made truths?”

  What. The. Fuck? What game was his uncle playing this time? Royce opened his mouth to ask just that when Kalkin shot him a look so deadly, a lesser man would have pissed himself.

  “How about instead of wallowing in your self-pity and self-righteous indignation, you consider for one second what will happen to Hayden when she finds out the truth.”

  Low. Fucking. Blow.

  “Asshole,” Kalkin grumbled. “You didn’t, did you? Not for one second have you put your cousin ahead of your own needs. She came to us nearly ten years ago not knowing a thing about herself. We had to teach her how to be a wolf. We had to teach her how to control the beast inside of her, all while allowing her to assimilate to her new life, and her father. Meantime, we have the last piece of the Geithner family still hiding something right under our noses.”

  Royce stared at his uncle. Each word was another jolt of guilt to his already addled mind. No, he hadn’t thought of Hayden or her life. He hadn’t worried about her fears or yearning for acceptance. He’d been thinking of himself and his mate, the two things he should have always been focused on.

  No matter the outcome.

  The door swung open, and there stood Hayden and Nico. She’d been through so much. All of the pieces of truth, when fit together, would rip her apart. Royce knew that. She was still unsteady in their world, trying to find her place. At least Nico gave her a bit of grounding, but even the orphan faltered more than his fair share.

  “Look at her, Royce,” Kalkin dropped his voice until it was almost inaudible. “Tell me you can destroy the things she’s built and continues to build.”

  Motherfucker. No, he couldn’t. However, he also couldn’t destroy his life with Charisma, despite what Kalkin wanted to believe.

  “’Bout time you two showed up,” he drawled as they approached Royce and a standing Kalkin. “Was just going to contact Jace to see if he could find your sorry asses.”

  “We had other shit to handle,” Nico said before following Kalkin through the maze of desks to his office.

  Royce picked that moment to leave. Seeing Hayden, his resolution didn’t waver one bit. He was going to tell Charisma the truth.

  He couldn’t lie anymore.

  Prologue Pt. 2


  The night of the auction...

  Getting out of the Wildlife Preserve had been a bitch. He and Charisma had been searched...again. There was a line, and since they’d arrived, their communication devices had been jammed.

  They were flying blind.

  All of his plans for telling Charisma had been shot to shit. Katie had called, saying she couldn’t be his plus one to the auction because she was sick. Something about the stomach flu, but Royce knew the truth. Katie would be there, helping Henry Worthington. Where and in what capacity he didn’t know. Just like he didn’t have a clear understanding where Holly fit into all of this.

  It never made any sense to him, but now that he thought about it, everything had been off with Mackenzie and Holly. They didn’t have the same connection as those he’d seen in town. Nor did they act like Kalkin and Keeley or Caden and Danielle or even Jace, Loraine, and Blake. Had he been so caught up he hadn’t taken a moment to really examine their mating? Should he have? They adopted two orphans. Never had any of their own. But, that didn’t mean something was wrong. It could be Holly didn’t want a biological reminder of her sister or her sister’s sadistic husband.

  Yet, she’d been fine with taking a piece of Jace and Hazel’s forced union and raised her on her own, on the run for fourteen years. None of it made a lick of sense to Royce. It’d always been the pieces of the puzzle he hadn’t been able to fit together and, as it stood, he had more parts than solutions.

  “I’m glad you came with me tonight to watch over Hayden and Nico,” he said when they’d finally made it back to their vehicle.

  Charisma didn’t say a word. The whole drive home, she stared out the passenger window of Royce’s truck. He smelled the resignation. The sorrow. He tasted her dejection and rage. There’d been something else there, just simmering below the surface. He couldn’t put his finger on it, and maybe, he didn’t want to.

  When they stepped into their apartment, Charisma made her way to their bedroom. Every move she made had been on auto-pilot. Even during the event, she smiled when she should. Laughed. She played the perfect loving wife, and Royce glommed onto it, sinking into the warmth of her lie, just to feel normal once more.

  He stood at the door to their room, his arms folded over his chest, watching her as she disrobed. The last night of the full moon. Somehow, he’d been able to control the wolf within so far. A niggle of something important bit at the back of his mind, and he pushed it aside. Now, he could tell her the truth. Now, he could wash away his sins and beg his Oasis for forgiveness.

  Royce pushed off the jam and came up behind her. “It’s time.”

  Her back stiffened. Her scent changed to one of resignation. “Of course. On my knees again?”

  His hackles rose at her bitter tone. “No. It’s time for the truth.” He sighed, stepping away from her. “I should have told you straight away.”

  She trembled. Worry rolled off her in sickening waves. “I understand.”

  “Hardly.” He snorted. “For the past three years, I have been undercover.”

  Charisma didn’t say a word and kept her back to him.

  “Kalkin suspect—”

  “When doesn’t he suspect something?” She glanced over her shoulder at him. Her gaze was cold, calculating. She waited for the other shoe to drop, and he didn’t blame her.

  “Let me explain before you rip my ass apart,” Royce snapped.

  “By all means, explain.” She finally faced him. Fire burned in her hazel-colored eyes. The expression on her face dared him to continue the farce.

  “Did you know Mackenzie and Holly aren’t mates?” He’d put the pieces of it together as he stood there watching her. He didn’t want to believe such. Yet, when he pulled apart what he knew and what he saw today, there’d been no way to deny it.

  Charisma gasped. “No. Why would I even consider such a thing?” She grabbed her robe off the end post of their bed. “Look, if you don’t want to tell me the truth, fine, but don’t bring your father into this.”

  “Dammit, Charisma!” He growled as he grabbed her arm, stilling her from walking away. “Listen to my words. Listen carefully. I have been undercover pretending to be Katie’s boyfriend because Kalkin knows something is wrong! Why do you think we went to the auction with Hayden and Nico?”

  She narrowed her eyes. The hazel depths swirled with unchecked emotion. “Did you fuck her?”

  Royce gave a humorless laugh. “Here I am telling you my family is about to implode and you want to know if I fucked Katie.”

  “Well, you have been undercover.” She threw his words back at him with as much venom she could muster.

  Royce pinned her to the wall. “My dick only belongs inside you.”

  “Couldn’t prove it by me.” She ducked under his arm and continued into the bathroom. “I need a shower.”

  Fury raced through his veins. He clenched his fists at his side as he tried to control the wolf within him. When the shower came on, he dared to do the one thing he knew he shouldn’t but couldn’t find the will to deny the beast. He silently stepped into the bathroom. The steam from the water clouded their glass-front shower and the mirror over the set of “his” and “hers” sinks.

  Royce had been methodical removing one garment at a time. He savored the seconds before he’d step into the enclosure and fuck his mate. He was near desperate for her. To feel the way she trembled in his hold, even when he made her feel useless. He needed to hear the soft gasps of pleasure. To feel her fingernails dig into the back of his thighs when she climaxed. His balls grew heavy. His dick throbbed and leaked.

  He pulled the door open and stepped into the spray of water then watched as the majority of it sloshed down his mate’s form. Rapidly falling drops dripped from her nipples, causing his mouth to water. Without saying a word, he went to his knees in front of her and took the soft point into his mouth. Charisma threaded her fingers through his hair and tried to push away. Royce growled. He palmed her hips, keeping her in place while he took his fill.

  “Royce, you don’t have to...” She moaned. Her fingers cinched his hair, tugging the curly strands.

  “I want to.” He switched to her other breast, taking his time to tease and suck on the taut point. “You smell good.”

  “I washed my hair.”

  He shook his head and speared her sex. “This is wet and smells good.”

  Pink tinged her cheeks as he began to fuck her with one finger then added a second. Wet heat seared him. She quivered and rippled around his intrusion. As much as she was mad at him, she also wanted him. He’d spent so much time doing what everyone else wanted from him instead of doing what he should’ve. Taking care of his mate was priority number one, and he’d failed.

  He removed his fingers then nudged her legs apart. The water from the shower drenched him as he kneeled before her, but it didn’t stop him from burying his face between her thighs. A low groan burst from his chest with the first swipe of her slit with his tongue. The sweet smell of magnolias in spring hit his nostrils, and it was all he could do to keep himself in check. He wrapped his lips around her clit and drew the hard bead into his mouth.

  She gasped his name, riding his face. He fucking loved it. He missed her responsive body. The way she took control whenever the mood struck. He sucked and nibbled on her clit, allowing her honey-flavored nectar to coat his tongue. He should have never given this up. Her thighs trembled, and her knees went weak. Royce wrapped his arms around her, holding her up so he could take his fill. It’d been way too long since he’d enjoyed his mate and not just fucking her as a function.

  “Come for me, Oasis,” he groaned. “Come on my tongue. Scream my name.”

  Instead, she chanted it, squeezing her legs together so his face was stuck right where she wanted him. With each roll of her hips she said his name, until she went bow tight. He pressed his thumb to her rear, giving her the extra push she needed to fly, then greedily lapped up the juices of her release.

  Charisma sagged. He
r breath came in heaving pants as she held onto him. Royce continued to lick and suck at her pussy, chasing each ripple. Each quiver. When she sighed, he came to his feet and stared down at her. Her eyes were glassy. Her face and chest flushed. Without hesitating, she went to her knees in front of him.

  “Charisma...” He hadn’t pushed for this in the three years they’d been together. Charisma had come to their bed a virgin, and he’d done everything in his power to keep her as innocent as possible—something he got off on every time they were together.

  He glanced down at her dark head as those lips of hers wrapped around his steely length. Her tongue wiggled along his slit, dipping in and out to lap at the pre-cum gathered there. Royce hissed. He fisted his hand in her hair, guiding her. She worked her mouth up and down, taking a bit more of him with each pass. “Suck it, Charisma. Suck my dick.”

  She moaned around him, and the vibrations zipped along his shaft. Her palm grazed his sac before moving behind them to the sensitive patch of skin. She scraped her nails along his taint, adding to the pleasure engulfing him. Royce held his breath. He counted to twenty. Then fifty. Each tentative swipe of her tongue was like the sweetest kiss to his tip. She looked up at him, her gaze filled with trust, love, and fucking need. The emotion so powerful, he almost lost his shit right then. Right there.

  “Fuck yeah, like that, Oasis.”

  He went to his tiptoes when she took him all the way to the back of her throat and swallowed. Royce fought for control, because all he wanted to do was fuck her.

  With his mouth.

  With his hand.

  With the cock shoved deep between her lips.

  He wanted it rough. Hard. He wanted to knot her pussy then spill every single drop of his cum—hoping this time he knocked her up. The possessive part of him, the one he buried so he could do his “job,” reared its fucking head. A rush of adrenaline and arousal shot through him, and he swore his dick grew harder.

  The scent of her arousal became thicker by the second. He inhaled, savoring her scent. His hips jerked, sinking more of his dick into her warmth. He was playing a dangerous game with her. Charisma struggled for a second before relaxing, allowing him to shove deeper.