Eternity Now

by Francis Lucille

  “What is day to the blind is night to the seer; what is day to the seer is night to the blind.”

  To be awake in sleep and asleep in the waking state.

  Yes. The sage, ignoring the three states, takes his stand in reality, whereas the ignorant, unaware of his real nature, takes his stand in an illusory waking state.

  If deep sleep is a return to the real self, why are we oblivious of this?

  We have no memories of this non-experience. In this sense, we are oblivious of it. However, consciousness is still present, aware of itself, during deep sleep. When we wake up, the peace and the feeling of continuity of consciousness are still present. In this sense, we are not oblivious to it.

  ***

  There is no past, there is no future; there is only here and now, only immediacy. Any “there,” any “then,” merely forms the foundation for this grand illusion within which there appears to be a past, a present, and a future. Once this is seen, once this understanding is arrived at, how is it lived, how is it implemented in daily life?

  It implements itself, because there is nobody to implement it. It implements itself without our intervention in the same way as the sun rises, the blowing wind rustles the leaves, the plants grow, and our heart beats.

  The Wonderful Play of the Timeless Now

  One of my biggest dilemmas has been the master/disciple relationship. A friend of mine insists, “Never relinquish your right to question.” Others think “surrender” is the ideal.

  Your friend is right. How can you totally surrender if you still have doubts? Such a surrender would not be a natural one, but, rather, an effort to abandon your own concepts and replace them with new ones, those of your teacher. It would be a surrender to the new concepts, not to the truth. The truth is not a concept. It is your living reality; it is absolute freedom from any concepts. You can never put it in a cage, even in the golden cage of the words of your teacher. All you can do regarding the sayings of your teacher is to take them into consideration. If your teacher is an authentic one, his words will gradually erase your doubts. To seriously take into consideration the sayings of your teacher is already perfect surrender. It is the best you can do. Leave it up to him to do the work for you. A real teacher will always welcome your questions, at least until you have a first hand knowledge of your true nature. Then, he may choose to answer your questions if he feels it appropriate to do so. For instance, he may help you expand your understanding of the spiritual perspective to a practical problem in your life, or he may simply remind you, here and now, of the truth you have already experienced. In both cases your question will find its answer in you.

  ***

  Why I am having this conversation with you?

  You have to find the answer to this question yourself. What is your motive? Is it a feeling of lack, incompleteness, or dissatisfaction? Is it a desire to understand?

  Right now it is to understand. Do I need to have this conversation with you to understand, or is it possible for me to have this same conversation with myself? If I can have this same conversation with myself how do I go about it?

  In order to understand, it is mandatory to have this conversation with yourself. I can’t understand for you. If you are thirsty, and someone tells you where to find a well, you still have to go to the well and drink to quench your thirst. However, the information that was given to you may have saved you time and effort. To have this conversation with yourself means to live with your question; to welcome your questioning whenever it spontaneously appears to you. In time, the formulation of your question will change and become more and more subtle as you grow in understanding. At some point, your question will disappear in you and leave you in your freedom and innocence.

  Is it that I don’t know what you know? Do you know more than I do? Is there something that is out there or in myself that I should know? Why is there this search? Who is searching? Searching for what, more knowledge? What will end my search?

  What do you mean by “knowing”? If you mean accumulated knowledge in memory or skills you have learned in the past, I am quite sure there are many things you know which I don’t know, and, conversely, things I know which you don’t. But, you are obviously referring to a different kind of knowledge when you ask these questions.

  Is there any other kind of knowledge? What is the nature of this knowledge?

  There is relative, objective knowledge and there is absolute knowledge, knowledge in identity. Relative knowledge is the one to which you refer when you say, “I know this man,” or, “I know how to play the piano.” Most people aren’t conscious of the other mode of knowledge, knowledge in identity, despite the fact that it lies at the core of everything they know. The fact that you exist is for you an absolute certainty. If you investigate the source of this certainty, you will discover that it isn’t based on any of the six senses (hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling, body-sensing, and thinking) which are the instruments of relative knowledge. The certainty that you derive from this absolute knowledge is total, whereas any fact ascertained with the instruments of relative knowledge can be challenged. The experience of love, the experience of beauty, the experience of happiness are other instances of knowledge in identity. Once you are aware of this new mode of knowledge, you go back to it more and more, until you get established in it. Now, the question may arise: Do I possess some kind of supermind which you don’t possess, giving me access to some mysterious knowledge of which you are unaware? Do I have anything which you don’t? Definitely not! Like me, you have everything you need to be perfectly happy. So, what is the difference between us? The only alternative possibility is that you possess something which I don’t have. What is it then?

  Your original question gives us a hint. There is searching in you, not in me. What does the fact that you are searching tell us? It tells us you believe that there is something you don’t yet possess, the possession of which could, perhaps, put an end to your search. Why am I not searching? Because I am free from the belief that there is anything out there that exists independently from this awareness which I so evidently know myself to be, and because I don’t believe there is anything in particular in here, such as a body or a mind, which I recognize to be me, this awareness which I so evidently know myself to be. Being nothing specific, and nothing being outside what I so obviously am, I am everything. Being everything, there is nothing to be sought. So, here’s the difference: you have some beliefs about what you are or are not, or what you have or have not, while I don’t have such beliefs, and stick, instead, to what I actually experience myself to be, the wonderful play of the timeless now. Since there is nobody who is searching inside me, the question, “Who is searching?” is for you to answer. This question is the best question you could ever investigate, and it will take you to the end of the journey, provided your desire for the truth is real and earnest.

  Accumulation of more knowledge and skills will definitely not put an end to this search, because this quest is not about learning, but rather, about unlearning the accumulated concepts, beliefs, and habits which prevent us from experiencing the simplicity, spontaneity, and joy of our real nature.

  Investigating my suggestion that you are not a perceived object, not a concept, nor a feeling, nor a sense perception, will pave the way to your understanding of what you really are. This investigation has to be pursued thoroughly, both at the intellectual level, and at the level of your bodily sensations. The understanding that comes to you as a result of this investigation, the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is an experience that takes you beyond the mind, beyond time and space, to your innate beauty and immortality. In this experience, you discover you are that which you were seeking. It is the end of this question and of all questions, of this search, and of all your fears and desires.

  Can you tell me what you mean by perfectly happy? I don’t feel happy. That is the main reason I am still playing the game that human beings invented. In this game there is continual movement from one object to another, and t
he reason for the movement is to be happy. I think there is no peace or happiness in this game.

  We all know happiness. We can’t describe it, but the fact that we are looking for it proves that we somehow know it. When a desired object is obtained, we experience a brief moment of happiness. Our mistake is the belief that happiness is contained in the object, whereas, in fact, we already are this happiness. When the object is acquired, the desire ceases for a while, and we experience the happiness that derives from desirelessness, our true nature. Then, because of our ignorance, a new desire is born and again veils this happiness which we deeply are. At some point, as you mentioned, we become aware of the endless movement from object to object. This is a very important moment in our life, because it paves the way for the authentic spiritual quest, the quest for a never-ending happiness.

  Can you explain what you mean by awareness? My experience is that I exist (body, mind) and want certain things, and that you and others are also like me. I have a feeling that I can exist independently from others. I can also move from I to we or us, and so on. Are you saying this is just a belief? Is awareness just to see, hear, and feel, or is it much more?

  To whom do your body, your mind, your desires, Francis, and others appear? To you, obviously. You are the witness of your body, mind, and desires. Therefore, you are not any of these objects in particular. You are pure awareness, which is another name for consciousness, the ultimate witness of your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. The feeling that you can exist independently from others is quite correct. It derives from the fact that the others are not always present in your consciousness, whereas you are always present as awareness. If you think deeply about it, you will come to the conclusion that your body is not always present either, for instance, when you think, during deep sleep, or between two thoughts. Thus, you as awareness exist independently from your body, which is made out of sense perceptions. If you keep investigating this matter, it will also become clear that you are not a thought either, because thoughts come and go, and you, awareness, remain. Thus, you are not your mind, at least the objective part of your mind, the thoughts.

  At this point, it must be clear to you that you are not an object, something that can be either conceptualized as a thought or perceived through the senses. That is all you need to understand. But, your understanding must be thorough and you must live and act in accordance with it.

  That which you are is not a belief or a perception, whereas that which you believe yourself to be is obviously a concept, and that which you perceive yourself to be is obviously a perception. Seeing, hearing, or thinking appear in awareness and disappear in awareness. Thus, they are made out of awareness. However, awareness, your real self, is much more than the six senses, much more than the individual mind, much more even than this universe which rises and falls in consciousness from moment to moment. It is the ground which all sentient beings have in common: our timeless presence which contains in a perfect simultaneity all possible worlds, with their pasts and futures.

  Will understanding bring an end to searching, and will the “Who” disappear?

  When you really stop taking yourself for that which you are not, you remain as awareness. At this moment, you find the answer to all your questions and you remain as peace.

  What is “Who” and what is its nature?

  Again, this question is for you to answer.

  Clearly, more knowledge won’t bring an end to this search because the search will always be based on incomplete knowledge. Can we look at what you mean by concepts, beliefs, and habits in our daily life?

  Here are two examples of concepts: man and God. Here are three examples of beliefs: “I am a man,” “God exists,” or “God doesn’t exist.” When a belief becomes permanent, it creates habits. For instance, the belief, “I am a separate entity” will create certain patterns of defense-aggression, of greed, of fear and desire.

  Is everything we know a concept? What is real and what isn’t real?

  Not everything we know, even in the objective realm, is a concept. For instance, a bodily sensation is not a concept. Everything that comes and goes is not real. After a nightmare, the threatening dream world vanishes. Its vanishing convinces us of its unreality. It follows that neither thoughts nor perceptions are real, due to their impermanence. Awareness, their permanent ultimate witness, is the only reality.

  How can we break out of concepts, since all our communication is based on concepts, and it is all in the mind? Won’t the “How?” bring in another concept? What will bring about this unlearning?

  This is a very good question. The “How?” keeps us in the mind, because any verbal answer to the “How?” is another concept. However, understanding is not a concept. In order to understand, we go beyond the mind. Some concepts have the power to take us to this intelligence, to take us beyond the mind. If we live with such a concept for a while, if we think about it and investigate, there comes a moment when it suddenly vanishes in understanding.

  Real Understanding Is in the Heart

  Most people, in their everyday lives, are involved in making a living, getting along with others, and through it all, trying to find some happiness. Does the non-dualist view have anything to say that would be of help to such a person?

  We all seek happiness. Most people struggle to reach this apparently inaccessible goal. As a child, we look for happiness in the toy we are expecting; as a teenager, we may hope to reach it if we are lucky enough to win the next game, or have a date with the handsome boy or beautiful girl we saw on the beach; as an adult, we may think that the recipe for happiness is a complex blend of having a good job, being happily married, owning a house, having children, being healthy, and so on. When we take a global look at this picture, we see that we are in a permanent state of striving, always desiring something, always fearing something, always looking for happiness, and always unhappy. This endless oscillation between the past and the future prevents us from fully living the present reality of our life. It generates a deep dissatisfaction in us, which, if we listen to it, will turn out to be a very positive feeling. This dissatisfaction leads to questions, such as: “How can I escape from this infernal circle of fear and desire? Where does this happiness I have experienced from time to time come from? Can I be permanently established in this happiness? Can I live a life that is full and creative? How can I make the best use of my time?” These questions indicate that we are already somewhat mature, in the sense that we have seen the problem. We have somehow understood that going from desire to desire is a dead end, and that as soon as we have acquired the desired object or avoided the feared event, we go on to something new, in an endless process of striving. When we see that, we are open to a new perspective. Having understood that the peace and happiness we are seeking can’t be found in any object, that what we really desire is not the object itself but the happiness that was unveiled when we obtained the desired object and the desire ceased, we start aiming directly at the desireless state, happiness, instead of aiming at objects.

  A detachment that is a natural result of this understanding then follows. This dispassion is not arrived at through effort, but rather appears by itself. The energies coming from our center, which until now were dispersed in the search for objects, have lost their external goals. They keep flowing back to their source until we find ourself to be what we were seeking.

  ***

  If we can’t think the truth or sense the truth, how can we possibly approach the truth?

  We can’t approach the truth either, because we are the truth. The entity that wants to approach the truth has to cease to exist for the truth to be revealed. This limited entity is an illusion. It borrows its reality from its source, the truth. The truth can’t be felt or sensed, because it doesn’t belong to the mind. Mind, thoughts, sensations appear in the truth, they have their source in it. As Krishna, the teacher, says in the Bhagavad Gita, “The beings have their roots in me, but I don’t have my roots in them.” The understanding that we can�
��t approach the truth because we are it, that the mind can’t conceive, grasp, or reach it, that the mind can’t perceive that which is beyond the mind and perceives the mind, is the only prerequisite for knowingly being the truth. This understanding has a life, a power of its own that eventually removes all the accumulated veils, and enables the truth to become self-evident.

  It seems to me that the only way we could “knowingly” be the truth is if it is self-evident. Is it self-evident?

  When we use the word “truth,” it refers to the absolute truth, not to a relative truth which is a concept, which can be accurate today or false tomorrow, which depends on the circumstances. Absolute truth is self-evident. It doesn’t refer or apply to any object. Relative truth can be formulated, but absolute truth is beyond any formulation. Absolute truth is the source of any deep conviction, of higher understanding. That is why we call it “truth.” It gives us a deep conviction of self-evidence. If we ask somebody, “Do you know who you are?” he will probably hesitate before answering. However, if we ask, “Do you know that you are, that you exist?” there will be no hesitation in answering, because this question refers directly to a self-evident reality, to a source of absolute conviction. It connects us directly with the core of our being.

  Does the fact that this is a direct and self-evident knowing mean that it has no possible opposite?

  Yes. It has no opposite because it is not a concept or a perception. It is not an object. It exists by itself. It is the only thing that exists by itself, and ultimately the only thing that is: not a thing, not a non-thing, our ultimate reality. The understanding of the non-dual perspective is the clarification of the question, “Who am I?” through the elimination of that which I am not, until the answer to the question, “Who am I?” reaches the same degree of conviction and spontaneity as the answer to the question “Am I?” This living answer can never be formulated. It is the source from which our certitude of being originates. These two questions lead to a single answer, the only absolutely satisfactory answer we can ever receive.