The Secrets We Live In: A Novel

by Fazle Chowdhury

  “You mean large arms supplies?” Zain asked.

  "Think about it. Why would Bagratuni send his assistant for minor purchases? It must have been huge arms deals in the works."

  "Damn."

  Zain slammed his fists on the table.

  "You don't think there is going to be a war, do you?” Kamikazed asked.

  "Hard to tell, but I get mixed messages. It wouldn't surprise me if there were. Anyway, can you find out more on this?" Zain asked.

  "Zain, seriously?"

  "This is real sensitive shit," Zain pressed.

  Zain looked at the platter of food on the table: seared tuna with baby spinach and avocado, avocado salad and guacamole, chicken and avocado sandwiches, scallops with avocado, tomato basil, raw mango, and avocado salad, chicken salad, and a plate of ratatouille. Zain looked at Kamikazed.

  “Aren’t you allergic to avocado? And you know I hate eggplant!”

  “Wow! You remember” Kamikazed smiled.

  “The eggplant was only to see if your preferences had changed, but I guess they haven’t!”

  Zain knew Kamikazed was intuitive. As the daughter of a former businessman known for his lavish business deals and lifestyle, Kamikazed’s father had taught her the art of business dealings, but his harsh methods introduced her to arm dealings, brokering deals between rogue groups and defense contractors. For more than a decade, Kamikazed used her sexual prowess to lure in clients, many of whom were hesitant to relinquish their relationships with her even after all this time. She was a useful asset to intelligence networks and underground groups.

  “Zain?” asked Kamikazed.

  "I normally would not ask this of you, and you’re very good at keeping the piggy bank full but… —a reference to funds Zain transferred to Kamikazed off the books through offshore accounts. Then Zain smiled as he dug into the plate of scallops.

  "Oh my god, these are some of the best scallops I've ever tasted."

  "Nice try. I want all the funds upfront this time and in advance. The only reason I allowed you to pay in installments last time was that, well, elections are sensitive."

  "I’ll throw in a little extra this time," said Zain.

  "Well, you can always count on me.”

  Zain drank from the martini glass in front of him, but the taste was something he hadn’t appreciated for some time.

  “Peach lemonade,” he smiled.

  “You remember Rolle?”

  Kamikazed rolled her eyes and smiled giddily.

  “I remember, the races, the clubs, the late nights dancing with all our friends,” she said.

  Zain wiped his mouth gently with the white napkin and took a deep breath. Kamikazed looked at him, and then their eyes locked. She tilted her head a little as he reached his hand out to her. She moved hers away.

  “You still want to know about Aylin?” she asked.

  Zain’s silence said it all. The pause after lasted too long. Then Kamikazed broke the silence.

  "Now that we got that matter out of the way, there is something else I need to discuss with you," Kamikazed said.

  "More?."

  "Calm down. You know Denis Blanchard?"

  Zain shook his head.

  "I don't think I've heard his name before. Who is he?"

  "He's the CEO of Ascolit. They make microchips and radiators. One of his subsidiaries told me he wants to meet with you, and he wants me to facilitate it. He could be of use," Kamikazed explained.

  "What did you tell him?"

  "I told him this was something I had to discuss with you first before I confirmed….so, you want me to handle it?"

  Zain thought for a bit. Any help at this point would be a good thing, but he was suspicious.

  “You expect me to drop everything to meet him?”

  "This is important,"

  Kamikazed 's voice was stern.

  “This isn't a meeting with just any CEO. He might be able to assist in your dire situation.”

  Kamikazed looked around, making sure no one, especially her staff, was around to hear anything.

  "Denis told me he has some information, and I thought it could benefit you in safeguarding your nuclear deal. You realize the deal is frozen, and you won’t be able to get the Republique government to make it a priority, and for that reason, I want you to meet him”.

  "Let me think about it and speak to Salima."

  "No!"

  Kamikazed was quick to answer. Zain was startled.

  "Zain, Denis made it clear that the only people he wanted to know about this were you and me. He doesn't trust anyone else."

  "But Salima isn't just anyone. She's my Chief of Staff."

  "Who was appointed by your President and not by you."

  Kamikazed reminded Zain that it would have been her instead if he had had it his way.

  "You cannot have any of your aides know about this. That means Salima, too."

  Zain now felt he had no choice but to comply.

  "I don't know if that's possible, Chloe. Salima has access to my schedule. If I do one thing that isn't in line, she'll know."

  "Figure it out, Zain.”

  Zain was perplexed by Kamikazed’s demand for full control, but he did think about it and nodded, shoving the empty plate away from him.

  "Chloe, I trust you know what you're doing. I'm just afraid that what Denis is asking for will be too much work for me to do on my own. You said yourself. I need to take what's going on with the Republique government more seriously, but what if Denis is a liability?”

  "Leave that to me. Denis trusts me, and he wouldn't like knowing you're involving others."

  Kamikazed stopped Zain when she saw him open his mouth to protest her response.

  "Denis is important, and this opportunity should not go unrecognized."

  Kamikazed saw the look of disgust on Zain’s face.

  "It’s worth the risk."

  "Fine."

  Zain threw his hands up.

  “Arrange the meeting with Denis."

  "You won’t regret this, Zain,” assured Kamikazed.

  Zain’s reluctance had more to do with paying the price for finding any information on Aylin than what Kamikazed wanted.

  ╔ ——————————————— ╗

  CHAPTER

  SEVENTEEN

  ╚ ——————————————— ╝

  Mazaar brought the car around. As Zain reached for the door handle, he saw a reflection of a red dress. He turned around. A young couple—certainly younger than he was—entered the restaurant. The woman was indeed wearing a red silk dress with a draped bateau-neck.

  “Sir,” called out Mazaar,

  “the door is open.”

  Zain climbed into the car and stroked the front part of his hair.

  “Let’s get out of here, Mazaar, but don’t take me home yet.”

  Mazaar understood. He drove by atop the hill of Montmartre, toward the Basilica of the Sacré-Coeur. Zain let himself float adrift in his thoughts. He was at du Chemin-de-Fer, a restaurant overlooking Lake Geneva. He and Aylin had come to celebrate. But it was a conflicting time. Zain’s friends and family thought he was crazy. Especially since he was twenty-four and Aylin was only seventeen. But for the two of them, the age difference did not matter.

  Zain intended the occasion to be special, something he could imprint in his mind forever. It was a surprise for Aylin. The look on her face when he parked his car in front and gave the keys to the valet was priceless. Her eyes opened wide, and her jaw dropped.

  "This is where we're having dinner tonight?"

  She couldn't believe her eyes.

  "I had hoped to bring you here to celebrate,"

  he took her hand and led her into the restaurant.

  "Good evening,"

  the host welcomed them.

  "How may I help you?"

  "I have reservations for two. Under the name Auzaar."

  "Yes, I see you requested one of our private tables. We have
the perfect one for you. Please follow me."

  Aylin clasped Zain's arm as they followed the host.

  "Zain, you weren't kidding when you said you wanted to make tonight special. What is going on?"

  "You'll just have to wait,"

  Zain smiled and pulled the seat out for Aylin.

  "Zain,"

  Aylin looked up from her menu.

  "I cannot believe you got us here. I've been dying to come here since it opened. How did you manage to get us a table? I heard there’s a year-long waitlist.”

  "Real truth, I got one of the waiters to fudge their reservation books,"

  Zain smiled. Aylin’s dropped open with an audible pop.

  “Oh, come on. It’s no worse than what you did,” he said.

  “Getting a pair of oranges from my neighbor’s truck is hardly comparable,” she grinned.

  “Well, we’re here. That’s what matters. What would you like to order?”

  "I can't decide. All the dishes look so good. But Zain, how will we pay?"

  "Aylin, don't worry. I have it covered. Got paid today.”

  "You can’t pay this. It’s more than what you make,” she said.

  “You let me worry about that.”

  “But you've already done so much to make tonight special. This restaurant and this dress you sent me."

  She pointed down to the red silk cascading V-neck gown she was wearing.

  "I would've been fine wearing one of my dresses. I love this dress so much it's going to be hard returning it after tonight."

  Zain smiled, not letting Aylin in on his secret that the dress was hers to keep. He was planning to tell her at the end of the night.

  A young, good-looking waiter came over to the table.

  “Hello, I’m Lucio, and I'll be your server tonight."

  Zain realized the waiter was only looking at Aylin.

  "May I suggest some specials to the beautiful lady?"

  Aylin blushed and giggled.

  "All of the food looks amazing. I don't know what I should choose."

  "I'm ready to order,"

  Zain tried to get Lucio's attention, but the waiter ignored him and continued talking to Aylin.

  "Maybe I can help you decide."

  Lucio smiled and leaned over Aylin, pointing to the specials listed in her menu.

  "Now, this one right here, this is my favorite."

  "Really?"

  Aylin looked up into Lucio's eyes.

  "Yes. I've tried every dish we serve, and out of them all, this is the one I always choose. But I would like to recommend this to you only because I think it will go well with your taste."

  “How do you know my taste?” she asked.

  “Your dress says it all.”

  Zain rolled his eyes.

  Aylin looked at the menu and bit her lip.

  "I really don't know. It's not that I don't trust your suggestion, but I really haven't had enough time to look over everything."

  Zain glared at the waiter and then brought his eyes back to Aylin. He could feel the anger rising in his veins as he saw the glitter in Aylin's eyes as she stared back at the waiter. She was smitten, and Zain did not like it.

  "Lucio, do you think we could have a few more minutes to look over the menu, and then you can come back to take our order?" Aylin smiled and winked at him.

  Lucio winked back at Aylin and walked away from the table. Zain burst out laughing.

  "I can't believe you just did that."

  "Did what?"

  Aylin was confused.

  "You actually winked at the waiter."

  Aylin's face turned red with embarrassment.

  "I did not!"

  She playfully hit Zain's hand.

  "You're just jealous."

  "Oh, please. You asked him to come back to us, and then you winked at him. I don't think you ever winked at me like that in the time we’ve known each other," he teased.

  "Did I really?"

  Aylin covered her face.

  "I didn't realize I did it. That's why he winked at me! Isn't it? He thought I was flirting with him!"

  Her face turned redder.

  "This is too funny," Zain kept laughing.

  "Who knew when I decided to take you out, you were going to fall for the waiter."

  "I didn't fall for the waiter," Aylin laughed.

  "Come on, tell me you were joking when you said I winked."

  "I wish I could. Do you mean to tell me you didn't realize he was flirting with you? Aylin, he didn't even acknowledge I was sitting here."

  "Zain, I am so sorry. I honestly didn't notice it. I guess I've had too much on my mind. Plus,"

  she reached across the table and placed her hands on top of Zain's hands,

  "the only person who matters is Lucio,” she giggled.

  "I didn't think for one second that you would choose the waiter over me.”

  “Oh, get over yourself. I can’t even enjoy a glass of wine,” she said.

  “Is that all that’s bothering you?” Zain asked.

  "I wish that were the case."

  Aylin looked down at the table.

  "I love being here with you, but I have some news to share, and I don't know how you're going to take it."

  She took a deep breath.

  "I thought I'd have more time to tell you this, but…I found out today I was accepted to University of East London."

  "Really? That's wonderful news."

  Zain got up to give Aylin a tight hug.

  "Why were you afraid to tell me?"

  Aylin shrugged.

  "Honestly, it's still a shock to me. I really didn’t think I would get in this university, and how can I say no now when they are offering me a full scholarship? I will no longer be a burden to my father if I go. And London isn't too far away, so my mom can visit me from time to time, so she's happy."

  "Is that what has been on your mind since the beginning?” Zain asked Aylin.

  Aylin agreed.

  "I'm full of mixed emotions right now. I've never been away from my family. I keep thinking of those I'll leave behind when I move to London, and I'm not talking about just my parents. I'll be leaving Malek behind and”—she looked up at Zain—"and…you."

  She didn't need to say more. Zain understood what she was getting at, and he knew it was about more than just leaving him here. Zain knew how much she loved her brother. She was protective of him, and he worried Malek wouldn’t understand.

  "It might take a while, but Malek will come around, I’m sure," Zain said.

  "Have you told him?"

  Aylin shook her head.

  "I thought it would be better to tell him when it gets closer to the date I leave. I know he isn't going to take this news well, but there isn't anything else I can do…and then there is you."

  “What about me?” Zain asked.

  “I’ve only just begun to know you in the last few days. I wish I weren’t leaving so soon.”

  "You need to do this. Go to London, and I’ll always be in your life if you let me," Zain smiled.

  "Of course, I want you in my life, but all this is happening so fast."

  Aylin gently kissed his lips.

  "My classes start in a month. I wish I had more time.”

  “If a month is all we have left together before you leave, then I will make it a time you'll never forget," Zain said.

  "And what about once your project is over? Will you return to Granada?" Aylin asked.

  Zain was silent. He hated the idea of being away from Aylin, but there was nothing he could do about the situation. He didn't want to be the type of boyfriend who forced her to give up her dream of going to university. Not to mention, he had far too much to do with his career.

  "After I finish my project here, I have to finish the final weeks of my contract with the Granada football team."

  "Then what will you do?" Aylin asked.

  "Return to finding a real job, travel to Paris and New York, and if that doesn’t work
out, see how my stables are doing in Dublin and check out the different breeds."

  "Dublin? I've heard of that place. Isn’t it across the pond from London?"

  Zain laughed at Aylin's question.

  "Aylin, I never know what you're going to say, but I can always count on you to make me laugh. I never looked at it that way before, but now that you mention it, yes, I guess it is."

  "I'm going to miss you, Zain,” she said with a sad smile.

  “Think of it this way, you're going to be so busy with studying and all the Lucios you’ll meet in London, you probably won't even think of me.”

  “That’s not true. Do you think you'll be able to visit or stay with me in London?"

  "How long do you think I'm going to be away?" Zain laughed. "Even if I do need to travel to Paris or Dublin, I'll only be away for a few months, not years. But yes, if you want me to be in London while you're there, then I will do everything I can to make sure I am."

  "I bet I'm sounding silly to you, aren't I?"

  Aylin turned red.

  "I shouldn't be making you feel like you have to come back to me. What if you meet someone else?"

  "That’s a nice thought,” joked Zain.

  Aylin was not amused.

  "Zain! You have no choice but to come to London."

  She leaned in and kissed him.

  “But you never know. I may be involved with so many things in college that I no longer need a dance partner like you," Aylin winked.

  Zain put his hand to his heart and took a deep breath, letting out a loud sigh.

  "You had me going there for a second. Anyone would be a better dance partner than me," he said.

  Aylin looked around to see if the waiter was nearby. She got up when she saw they were all alone in their private section.

  "Would you excuse me for a moment? I want to freshen up. If that waiter comes back, tell him I haven't decided what I want to order yet."

  "I have the feeling he won't be coming back while it's only me here." He smiled.

  She laughed and walked to the bathroom. She powdered her nose, adjusted her hair a little. She couldn’t believe how nervous she was to give Zain the news. Her skin was hot, the nerves sending the blood rushing to her face. She took a deep breath and tried to calm down before heading back out to Zain.

  "I can't believe Zain has his nerve to show up here,"