Sweet Reality

by Laura Heffernan

  Remembering what he’d said earlier made me fume. I wasn’t the one who insisted we share one judge spot. I wasn’t the one who set up the Q&A with pictures of both of us instead of the individual head shots they gave Ariana, Ed, and Rachel. I wasn’t the one who chased him down the driveway, which is what started all the hype in the first place.

  I’d been perfectly happy to go home to Seattle, wait for him to get eliminated, and then sit by the phone like a normal person. Or . . . find Ed on Instagram, get him to get contact info from Connor, and then send an email. Whatever.

  Now I worried that, after all the Network’s focus on turning us into one pair instead of two individuals, he’d changed his mind about proposing at all. Was that why he hadn’t done it yet? We’d been together almost constantly since Sunday morning, and he hadn’t dropped a single hint.

  “Okay, so, I have to admit, those cupcakes are amazing,” Danielle said, interrupting my thoughts. “When you first mentioned this plan, I thought you were nuts, but now I get it.”

  “Yeah, they’re awesome. I’m glad. Sarah’s got her heart set on adding this cupcake to our menu.”

  “What else?”

  The question threw me off-guard. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, it’s a reality-show inspired bakery, right? So, what’s my cupcake?”

  “Until about three days ago, we’d have called you the arsenic and old lace or possibly the viper,” I said. “Silent, yet deadly.”

  She snorted. “I guess I deserve that. And now?”

  “I’m not the baker, that’s Sarah. But I’m thinking something like—The Firecracker. Red, white, and blue, possibly. Maybe something with a dash of cayenne pepper. We’ve already got a cake inspired by my friend Birdie, who’s also a redhead, so carrot cake is out for you. But we’ll come up with something.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’m the all-American girl, at the moment. Sarah’s doing yellow cake with chocolate frosting and cookie dough centers for me. And we’ve got fishbowl-shaped sugar cookies, Pavé de BumBum, which is an Ed-inspired play on the Pavé de Bombom popular in Brazil, plus all the usual bakery stuff,” I said. “Our name is Sweet Reality, so that’s the hook, but we’ve got a lot of old classics. You can walk in and order a regular chocolate chip cookie. It just might be called ‘the Rachel. ’ ”

  “Did I hear my name?” My friend approached, carrying a mudslide in one hand and a leftover cupcake in the other. “These things are amazing. What’s in them?”

  “That’s what I’m trying to find out.” Across the deck, Tammy Rae’s fans finally disbanded. She stood gazing out over the railing. “I’m going in. Wish me luck.”

  “You don’t need luck,” Rachel said. “Be your awesome self.”

  I smiled gratefully at her as Danielle wished me more traditional luck. The two of them agreed to meet me at the dining room later.

  Beyond the railing, the ocean spread in all directions as far as the eye could see. I leaned against the metal barrier, about a foot from Tammy Rae. Close enough to talk, not close enough to look like a stalker.

  “Beautiful view,” I said.

  “Yeah,” she said. “The ocean is so vast. Like, I totally knew water covered huge sections of the earth, but being out here, part of it, with no land anywhere, is totally mind-blowing. Just, the utter vastness of it, you know? It’s, like . . . so vast!”

  “It’s awesome,” I said, trying not to roll my eyes. “Like those cupcakes.”

  “You mean Madison’s? Those weren’t bad.”

  “Madison’s cupcakes were good, and totally deserving of the win, but no, I meant yours. I snagged one off the table after the show.” She looked at me over her sunglasses. “Okay, two.”

  “I’m glad you enjoyed them. I’m very proud of my recipe.”

  “Totally ’80s Bake-Off was my favorite show last season. I didn’t have a job for a while, so my roommate and I watched reruns almost every day. We were rooting for you from Day 1.”

  “Oh, yeah? I’d have thought I was too old for your demographic.”

  “My mom’s a huge fan. She listened to your music all the time. It stuck with me.” I started to sing a few bars of one of her big hits before remembering I didn’t want this woman to hate me for butchering her single.

  “That’s good to hear. You want me to sign something for your mom? I got more pictures on the table over there. Or you could buy a CD from the gift shop.”

  “That would be great,” I said, wondering if anyone still owned CD players outside of old cars. “She’d love it. But I was hoping, you’d be willing to give me a hint as to your secret ingredient. I’m starting a bakery with my roommate–Justin’s sister, actually. The grand opening is in a couple of weeks. She’s a baker, and we’re doing an entire reality-themed shop. We love the concept of your cupcake, but we haven’t managed to recreate it yet.”

  The more I talked, the more Tammy Rae’s expression hardened until I suspected a grave error of judgment. Maybe I should’ve taken the picture or bought her dumb CD before asking for a favor, but what did people do with signed pictures? My mom would get a kick out of my stories of going on a cruise with one of her favorite high school celebrities, but did she need a piece of paper with Tammy Rae’s name on it?

  Then Tammy Rae spoke, and the problem had nothing to do with my mom or autographs at all. “Let me give you some advice, kid. I’ve been around the block a few times. That’ll serve you much better than my recipe.”

  I bristled at her condescending tone. Advice, I did not need. A recipe, that’s what I needed. Plus, kid? A twenty-six-year-old starting her own business is not a “kid.” But in the interests of maintaining a pleasant interaction, I bit my tongue. “Thanks.”

  “Never mix business with pleasure. You bought into this bakery, why? Because you’re sleeping with the brother?”

  “It’s not like that. Justin and I have been together more than a year. We’re committed to each other.”

  She waved one hand. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re super in love. I saw the show. Where’s the ring?”

  Involuntarily, my right hand went to the empty spot on my left ring finger. Tammy Rae’s eagle eyes followed. “That’s what I thought. What happens to the business if you break up?”

  “We won’t break up.” The words “I’m getting a ring” teetered on the tip of my tongue, but after the last couple of days, I wondered if Justin reconsidered.

  “Famous last words,” she said. “That means you don’t know, right?”

  Only my need to establish camaraderie and trust with her allowed me to suppress my desire to tell her to mind her own damn business. “We have a contract. If the relationship between me and Sarah, my partner, goes downhill, she can buy me out. It doesn’t specifically say she can exercise the clause if Justin and I break up, but we both know that’s a possibility.”

  “Do you get your full investment back?”

  “With five percent interest if she exercises the clause within the first year. After that, there’s a formula. The total depends on how the business is doing. Plus half the profits until she finishes buying me out.”

  She looked impressed. “Well done. Who wrote it?”

  “Justin, but my best friend back home is also a lawyer. He read it over before I signed.”

  “Well, I’ll give you one thing,” Tammy Rae said. “You’re better at business than I expected. How are you at baking?”

  “I make a mean chocolate chip cookie, notwithstanding anything people may or may not have seen on YouTube.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, I saw your autotune. Don’t sweat it. You entertained the audience, and that’s what an audition video needs to do.”

  “Thanks. Sarah’s the baker. I’m helping with marketing, day-today operations, and overall management so she’s free to bake and develop new recipes. That’s why I’m here. Your recipe sounds amazing, but we haven’t been able to duplicate it. The difference has to be your secret ingredient. We thought if maybe I could
convince you to tell me what it is—you don’t need to give the proportions, we can figure it out ourselves—”

  “What’s in it for me?”

  I blinked at her. Sarah and I talked about paying her, of course, but after the direction the conversation took, it seemed odd for Tammy Rae to ask. “We’ll pay you five hundred dollars. There’s cash in my cabin. Also a nondisclosure agreement.”

  “That’s it?”

  My heart sank. “What do you want for it?”

  She rubbed her chin, tapping one long fingernail against her teeth. “Honestly, sweetheart, I’m not sure you’ve got anything to offer me. Money? I’ve got plenty saved. Notoriety? Check. I was the lead singer in an all-girls eighties-hair band. How much more notoriety do I need?”

  “Why did you do Totally ’80s Bake-off if you didn’t need the money or the fame?”

  She shrugged. “Same reason I came here. I was bored. Will giving you the recipe entertain me?”

  I didn’t have the slightest idea how to answer that. “We’re willing to put up a display in the store with the cupcakes, with your name, or a picture. We could sell your CDs if you wanted. You could do a signing at our grand opening.”

  Tammy Rae stood, patting me on the shoulder as if I were a small child. “You’re sweet, but I think I’ve gotten all I need from this conversation. Have a good night.”

  She sauntered off down the deck, leaving me alone to watch her go. The woman did reality shows because she was bored? And she’d give me her recipe only if I could make life more interesting for her?

  I leapt to my feet, yelling at her back. The wind swallowed my words, carrying them out to sea, but it didn’t matter. Determination raised my chin, lifted my spirits. I could do this.

  “Challenge accepted!”

  Chapter 10

  THE QUEEN KELLY’S VOICE

  The Bahamas Welcome You

  Tuesday edition

  Welcome to the beautiful Bahamas! Our ship will arrive offshore at approximately three o’clock in the morning, ship time. Passengers will awaken to gorgeous views and plenty of options for things to do!

  Start with breakfast before hopping a catamaran to transport you to the mainland or go straight to the beach to start a full day’s activities.

  All water sports are available here: snorkeling, paddleboarding, floats, kayaks, banana boat rides, aqua chairs, and more. If you prefer to hang out on the beach, rent a clamshell to enjoy the shore with your sweetheart.

  Our TV fans can join Suddenly Single in Seattle’s Danielle and Deaf Teen Mother Madison on a glass-bottomed boat ride around the island. The more adventurous among you can follow The Fishbowl’s Ariana and America’s Next Drag Model’s Tabby Rangoon on a dune buggy ride through the jungle, or go zip-lining with Totally ’80s Bake-off Winner Tammy Rae and The Fishbowl’s favorite duo, Jen and Justin. We’ve even got a shuffleboard tournament and a Q&A session here on the ship for those of you who aren’t up for traveling to the mainland.

  No matter what level of adventure you’re up for, we’ve planned an awesome full day of interacting with the stars while experiencing the very best the Bahamas have to offer.

  Inside this Edition:

  Full schedule of onboard events 2

  Map of Princess Cays, Bahamas 4-5

  Things to Do In Princess

  Cays 3, 6

  Meet Your Cruise Director 7-8

  The next morning, Justin and I disembarked at eight o’clock, dressed for adventure in the Bahamas. We’d signed up for zip-lining to give me a chance to talk to Tammy Rae again; apparently, she was into extreme sports. I counted myself fortunate the ship hadn’t offered parasailing, hang gliding, or other activities more likely to make me break my neck. Zip-lining sounded like fun and probably wouldn’t result in bodily injury.

  In their infinite wisdom, the Network insisted each excursion group be accompanied by at least one member of the production staff to film us. However, since we were zip-lining, Leanna decided at the last minute to send two: one for each platform. No need to miss a single second of potential drama due to logistics.

  To my delight, Connor was assigned to our trip, bringing Ed along with him. The Network preferred they keep their relationship reasonably discreet in public, but no one thought twice about Ed announcing at the last minute that he’d be taking one of the open spots on our excursion. It was, as he said, his prerogative to change his mind several times a day about anything and everything.

  On the other side of the platform, our guide Ryan explained how to hook our harnesses onto the line, wait for the go-ahead signal from someone on the other side, and push off. Trepidation filled me.

  “We’re hooking ourselves up?” I asked. “You don’t do it for us?”

  “We give you the hooks and show you how to do it. You’ve got two lines attaching your harness. As long as you follow directions, you’ll be fine,” Ryan said. “Really, a seven-year-old did it yesterday.”

  Once we took turns hooking the two clips over the line, facing in opposite directions, I felt much better. Scientifically speaking, this should work.

  The line disappeared into the distance, but Ryan assured us that a megaphone waited at the other end. We would call “all clear” when we landed, and the next person would go. He also said the line angled downhill, so lighter participants could sail into the next platform without getting stuck.

  Spectacular scenery unfolded below us. While everything in Seattle would be brown and dead this time of year, tropical plants dotted the landscape with color. In the distance, dazzling white beaches stretched as far as the eye could see, separating the island from the glittering turquoise water in the distance. When I squinted, I pretended I saw our ship, but we were far enough inland that the speck I spotted could’ve been anything.

  Usually, Justin was the one making everyone sure everyone else paid attention when someone gave us instructions. Instead, as the guide spoke, Justin kept his gaze firmly planted on his shoes, looking green around the edges.

  I sidled toward him, keeping my voice low. “You okay?”

  He swallowed and nodded, not speaking. Twelve of us packed the wooden landing, including the guide, but I tried to tug him off to the side as best I could. He didn’t move.

  PA Janine went first so she could record the rest of us zooming into view (and possibly capture some hilarious footage when some of us got stuck without making it to the other platform or crashed on the other side).

  Ed followed, shoving off with a howl of joy. “Look, Ma! No hands!”

  Justin still hadn’t looked up. I nudged him again. When he didn’t respond, I grabbed his chin and tilted it upward. “Talk to me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I’m fine.”

  “Really? Because you look like you’re about to throw up.”

  On the other side of the platform, Tammy Rae called my name and gestured toward the lines. I motioned for her to go on ahead, realizing most of our group had left. Only Ryan, who needed to see everyone safely across, and Connor remained, waiting to film the last of us pushing off.

  “Justin? Are you afraid of heights?”

  “Of course not,” he said. “I have no problem with being on high landings or balconies or . . . anywhere I’m not going to fall and die. I’m just not a fan of rickety landings and throwing myself off firm ground into the air for no good reason.”

  “Why didn’t you mention this sooner?”

  “I forgot. Florida’s mostly flat, remember? No one’s invited me to face certain death in a while.”

  Poor thing. All I wanted was to take him into my arms and tell him everything would be okay, but the cameras were rolling. He might not appreciate me treating him like a child.

  I grasped his shoulders and brought him to face me. I focused on Justin, trying to ignore the camera moving in. “Listen. We’re going to be okay. The two of us. We’re a team, remember? Jen and Justin. And while it can be frustrating to feel like half of a whole sometimes, there is nothing the two of us can
’t accomplish together. We’re going to leave here, zip across, and land on the other side, safe as houses. You hear me?”

  He nodded. “You’re going to go with me?”

  “You’ll have to go first,” I said. “But I’m right behind you.”

  “Why don’t you go first?”

  “Because if I do, you’ll climb down the ladder and catch a taxi to the beach.”

  He chuckled. “You know me too well.”

  Ryan approached. “You guys okay? I don’t mean to push you, but everyone else is waiting on the next platform, and they can’t move on until we clear this one.”

  I held out my hand. “We’re coming. Right, Justin?”

  He swallowed and nodded, eyes still attached to mine. The love and trust reflected there warmed my heart. Maybe Justin was afraid to zip-line, but “Jen and Justin” embraced the opportunity for a new experience.

  “You know, guys,” Ryan said. “There are two lines side-by-side. We tend to send newbies one at a time, but you could go together if you wanted.”

  “You mean we could race?” I asked.

  Justin perked up immediately, his competitive spirit awoken.

  Our guide shook his head. “It’s not much of a race, since the heavier person is nearly always going to win. But sure, you can race. Or you can hold hands and go over together. That works especially when one of you isn’t sure about taking off.”

  A smile broke across Justin’s face. “I like the sound of that.”