Those 365 Letters

by Ford, Mia

  “That’s right,” Steve said. “Hey, I’m happy as can be and I think my friends should be, too.”

  “Well, Steve,” I said. “I appreciate the concern, but I’m more focused on work right now. Although, if the right woman comes along, I’m not going to ignore here. But I am looking for the right woman for a change. I’ve been thinking it’s time for me to settle down. So we are on the same page.”

  Steve stood up and gave me applause. “Yes! That’s what I want to hear!”

  “How many beers has he had?” I asked Britney.

  “Two here, but he pre-gamed a six pack before we left.”

  I nodded. “That makes sense.”

  We ordered another round of wings and then Britney and I decided to play a few games of pool.

  “You know, I have to admit I’m surprised to hear you are giving up your wild, bachelor ways so soon.”

  “Why is that? You didn’t think it would ever happen?”

  “I figured maybe after you hit thirty-five, you might start settling then, but not at twenty-four.”

  I laughed. “Well, if you remember correctly I crammed a bunch of hard, partying, living in the past eight years. The human body can only take so much. It is time, trust me.”

  “What type of woman are you looking for? Exactly, what is the perfect woman in the eyes of Landon Glatt?”

  I chalked my cue stick and set up my next shot. “I don’t know. I’ve never had a type or anything. But I will definitely know when I find that woman. I’ve always believed that when true love hits you then it strikes like a bolt of lightning. And I’m going to feel it.”

  “Aww, you are a soft romantic at heart. Who would have guessed it?”

  I put in the shot and then set up my next one. As I did so a couple of beautiful girls walked by in very tight, cut off denim shorts. They caught my eye and the gaze followed a bit.

  “Are they hitting the perfect girl radar?” Britney asked me.

  We exchanged glances and both erupted in laughter.

  “Unfortunately, something like that catching my eye is not my fault. And I think I’m entitled to admire from afar.”

  “Yeah, don’t ever tell your future Mrs. that sort of thing.”

  “I’ll take that under advisement,” I said. “Now, tell me—how is married life working out with Steve?”

  “It’s great, actually. We’ve always just been that golden couple.”

  “I’m glad to see that,” I said.

  “But honestly, it is great to see you back in town. And are you going to be happy working for your dad? You’ve always talked about other dreams. That company is your dad’s baby, but I’m not sure it will ever be yours.”

  “You’re right; but it’s a place to learn and to grow. So don’t worry about me. I’m really just getting my feet wet. For your information, my mom thinks it’s a bad idea, too. She was almost in tears when I told her I was taking the job.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. She’s always seen me as doing something different with my life, but I don’t know if I’m as different from my father as everyone thinks. As I get older, I see it. I don’t think I’ll run everything exactly the way he did, but I’m sure it won’t be radically different.”

  “That’s good,” Britney said. “I’m happy for you. Are you going to talk to Julie? She owes you an explanation, right?”

  I laughed. “Wow, that is a one hundred and eighty degree turn. But no, I hadn’t planned on it. She made her choice; now it looks like she is making another one.”

  “What would you say if she did stop to see you? Or called you?”

  “I’m not sure. We are done; I know that for sure. We will never be a thing again. The best we could hope for is being friends again, and I’m not sure if that would even be close to happening.”

  “I understand. I’m glad to hear that. What she did wasn’t right. And you deserve better than that.”

  “I don’t have any ill will towards her. I mean, those emotions will always be there, but I hope she finds whatever it is she is looking for in life and in happiness.”

  I finished out the rack and ordered another beer. I meant what I said about Julie, but it still bothered me that Britney had brought it up. She hadn’t meant to put thoughts in my head—she really did think that Julie had spoken to me—but now there they were. I was over it. I was content to let the past be the past and to stay there, but those old emotions had little knives attached to them, and they continuously stabbed me inside making little, tiny cuts.

  “Leave the man alone,” Doug said sauntering over in a half drunken haze while lazily sipping on another beer. “If he doesn’t want to think about his love life right now, then he doesn’t have to. But I do think he’s making a mistake—for the record. I’m respectful enough to leave it alone.”

  “Thanks,” I said. I racked up the balls again and Doug took the cue ready to break. Apparently he and Ty wanted to play doubles now that they’d finished off their second basket of wings.

  “Sure thing,” Doug said. He bent over and broke the rack nicely. It was a shock considering how many cue balls he probably saw through his current state of mind. “But, I do think you should come to that carnival with us tomorrow. It will be good for you to get your mind off that stupid job and your father, and off the lack of a love life that you pretend to be ok with.”

  I laughed. “Carnival? I don’t know. I’m a little past all that.”

  “What?” Ty asked. “How can you be past such good, old time fun as that? We used to look forward to it every year when we were kids. Hell, I even got my first kiss at the carnival. Remember that? Those memories will be with me for the long haul.”

  “It might do you good to get some tension out of your life,” Britney said.

  “What tension? Honestly, guys; I’m just fine.”

  As I got ready for my next shot though, I started to examine what they were saying. They all seemed to think I was running from something and growing stale and burnt out. Or was it that they thought I would turn into my father if I wasn’t careful? Or were they just a bit jealous of the life I could easily coast along into if I wanted it?

  They were my friends and they were trying to help me, but I just felt like what they were suggesting was the worst thing for me at the moment. Although, their hearts seemed to be really in the right place. Maybe they were right and knew something I didn’t know.

  “Alright,” I said. “I’ll go to the carnival.”

  “Great!” Doug said slapping me harder than he meant to on the back.

  I looked over at Britney and smiled with a head shake. She smirked, a little embarrassed by Doug.

  It was just like old times actually. As I played through a few shots, I began to feel better about things. I hadn’t even realized it, but my head had been feeling a little lost in the clouds lately, and it had all started long before I’d finished my degree and came home. There was something within me that had been stirring, twisting me up a bit—and I didn’t know what it was or how to stop it.

  I was looking for something in my life.

  But what was it? And when would I find it?

  Chapter 5

  Cora

  I opened my eyes widely, determined not to let the fear control me. I’d wanted this; I’d been thinking of it. And now I was there, face to face with this entity who wanted to control me and make me break. But I wasn’t about to give in. It didn’t know me; not by a long shot.

  “AAAGGGHH!!”

  Miley screamed in my ear as The Bullet went downward, hurling us straight toward the ground at unknown speeds. The ground was hard, concrete beneath us and it was getting even closer every single time we plunged downwards. The momentum and the gravity lifted us up just a little bit out of our seats, propelling our hips sharply into the locking safety bar that kept us strapped in.

  This ride was more thrilling and fun than I had remembered. It had been at least a year, maybe longer, since I’d ridden The Bullet and as soon as I saw it i
n the middle of the carnival, I grabbed Miley’s hand and dragged her over to it so we could be one of the firsts in line.

  And it had not disappointed.

  The ride scooted past the pavement, twisting upwards at the last second before we met our untimely doom and now it was lifting us straight up in the air. My stomach lurched back and forth, settling into a crazy rhythm. I thought more than once that I might be sick, but so far I was holding myself in check. Miley on the other hand might have tossed her cookies any second.

  And my luck, it would have been all over me.

  We’d no sooner reached the top then the ride slung us backwards the other way. It was not as frightening as going down, but it was still pretty intense. And so much fun.

  “Wow, that was sweet,” Miley said as we staggered off the ride a few minutes later. I could tell her sense of direction and stability were a little off and I thought she could use a break before we started riding some of the really crazy rides.

  “I don’t remember it going that high,” I said laughing as we walked towards the funnel cake stand.

  The carnival was packed. It was full of people our age, teenagers, families, young kids, and even a few older people here and there. I’d always loved carnivals ever since I was a young kid. It was just one of those small town community thing that just brought everyone together, and our carnival usually brought people from neighboring towns that way as well.

  I’d been feeling a bit disjointed since we’d graduated from school. The future seemed so uncertain now, while for so long it had seemed so certain. Now I just didn’t know what I was really going to do, I wasn’t sure that my dreams were going to come true even close to the way I’d planned them, and I had no idea if I was even going to be able to stay friends with the people I’d been friends with since I was a kid. Everything had changed overnight. And now all I could do was react to it.

  Jacob and Kirby were off doing some basketball shoot off game and losing badly from what I could tell as we walked past them. Those games were all so rigged. I’d seen all those television specials about how the games were set up to make sure that most people failed at them. And I knew that most people knew this, so why did they continue to play? Was the fun of it worth the price?

  “You know, Jacob really does have a crush on you,” Miley said as we stood in line.

  I gave her a surprised look. “Why are you saying that?”

  “Well, I’ve known about it for a long time. Haven’t you? It’s pretty obvious.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I guess. But I just don’t have those feelings for him. He is a good friend and a fun person to hang around, but he just acts so juvenile all the time. I mean, he still acts like we are in junior high.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think he’ll ever grow out of it.”

  “He should be the life of the party at college,” I said.

  “Yeah, probably. God, I’m going to miss those guys.”

  “Just them?” I asked slyly.

  “Of course, I’ll miss you, too.”

  “Good,” I said. “How is your mom taking it? I’m surprised she is letting you out of her sight this summer.”

  “Yeah, she is doing really well with me moving to school,” Miley replied. “My dad is the one who is having some issues letting go. I swear he thinks we are going to take some kind of a road trip this summer. I’ve tried explaining to him how I have a job and I would rather spend my free time with you, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”

  “Yeah, I get that,” I said. “Hey, what happened with you and Logan, anyway? You’ve been so ‘mums the word’ on that ever since it happened.”

  Miley made a weird face, as she sucked back on her teeth. It was the same face she always made when she’d made a huge mistake.

  “Yeah, that was kind of my fault,” Miley said. “I sort of hooked up with his cousin.”

  I stopped in my tracks. “What the hell? You did not?”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “How did you not tell me this before? I want details!”

  “Well, we had a big fight and he said we were done. I was angry and feeling kind of lonely, mostly because I heard from Lucy Skeaner that Logan was messing around with Cherry Scott. So I contacted his cousin Lucas—I met him at Logan’s sister’s wedding a while back—and he swung by to pick me up. I was just going to let him take me out and buy me some food or something, mostly I just wanted someone to talk to and to feel like I wasn’t a loser. And then one thing led to another. I felt horrible about it afterwards, especially when I found out Logan had not messed around on me and apparently he wasn’t serious about breaking up.”

  “But how were you supposed to know he wasn’t serious?” I asked. “But—the cousin—that was a low blow…”

  “I know. I didn’t intend for that to happen at all. But Lucas is hot. I mean… he is so much hotter than any guy who has ever given me the time of day. I was feeling lonely, and he is so charming. I swear he put some kind of a voodoo spell on me.”

  The laughter poured out of me as tears rolled down my face.

  “Wow. That is your excuse?” I asked. “Honey, I love you like a sister, but what you did was wrong on so many levels.”

  “I know. I apologized to Logan profusely, but he hates me forever. And he should. He really should. I’m never going to do that again, if I’m ever lucky enough to get another boyfriend, that is.”

  “You will be fine,” I said. “There are guys who check you out all the time. I’ve seen it.”

  “Yeah, but those guys are all nerds,” Miley replied. “They play way too much online video games, and they dress weird, and they can probably quote every line from every single Star Trek episode or movie.”

  “Well, you love all that stuff,” I said. “You are going into college. Aren’t you supposed to open your mind and all that?”

  “I think that happens when you get there. Maybe it’s part of some pledge,” Miley joked.

  We ordered a couple funnel cakes and a few sodas.

  “If things are this hard just moving onto college, what are they going to be like when we get jobs and move all over the country. I mean, there aren’t that many stable careers here. Odds are, we will be living in much bigger cities.”

  I smiled. “You are thinking way too far ahead for me,” I said.

  We got our funnel cakes and sodas and started to walk away. The food was amazing. I have no idea what is in those funnel cakes, but to me they have always tasted like the perfect combination of pancake and actual cake. They are so beautiful.

  “Miley!”

  I turned to see a young woman I did not recognize wrapping her arms around my best friend. Miley seemed startled, but quickly settled into the hug.

  “Britney! Wow!” Miley said. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”

  “Likewise,” Britney said. “You must have been hiding somewhere.”

  I then noticed the handsome man standing beside Britney. He has a self-assured, handsome smile on his face and a relaxed posture. He appeared to be the type of man who considers a sport coat and a pair of designer jeans dressing down.

  He looked right at me and a shiver ran up my spine. His eyes were cool, but not cold. There was a glow about him that drew me in and I found myself inching closer to him somehow, as if my feet had no control.

  I purposely looked down and stepped back.

  “You have a little…” the man said pointing to his mouth.

  I wasn’t sure what he was trying to say. I was still just trying to keep my composure in front of one of the most beautiful looking man I’d ever seen.

  Suddenly, he reached out and brushed his thumb against my lower lip before I could get weirded out or resist. It felt nice. It was gentle. I could feel my skin glowing red with warmth as I tried not to smile so widely.

  “Oh, this is my good friend Landon Glatt,” Britney said. “This is Miley, a good friend of mine. Her father and my father are business partners.”

  “This is my best friend, Cora,” Mi
ley said. “Cora, this is Britney.”

  We finished the introductions and I wanted to ask Miley why I’d never heard of her friend Britney, who looked a bit older than us. As did Landon. I would have guessed they were both early to mid-twenties, which was a bit intriguing. Why were they talking to us eighteen-year-olds who’d just graduated high school last week?

  But the way Landon was looking at me, I wasn’t sure I cared.

  “So, we haven’t seen you down at the country club lately,” Britney said. “I guess you decided you are too cool for that crowd, am I right?”

  “No,” Miley said. “I’ve been doing other things. I’ve been meaning to get back into the golf game, but dad hasn’t really invited me down. I think he gets annoyed when I’m there.”

  “Probably because he can’t cheat,” Britney laughed.

  “Probably,” Miley agreed.

  I was feeling a bit left out of the conversation, but I stood there anyway, very aware of the fact that I’d had funnel cake and powdered sugar all over my lips when I met these two interesting people. I felt very embarrassed and wished I could find a rock to hide under for a bit. That would have been just the ticket.

  “So, what do you do?” Landon asked me.

  I almost wasn’t sure what to say at first. What did I do? Who was I again? My mind went blank.

  Britney hit him on the arm. “Duh. She just graduated high school with Miley, right?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, that’s right.”

  “I meant, what do you do for fun?”

  “Um, just anything really,” I said. I had no idea how to answer this question. I felt like I was really being put on the spot. Was this guy hitting on me? No way. Guys who looked like that did not hit on me.

  But he was. I could see it in his easy going, cocky smile, and the intense eye contact he was giving me.

  “I find that hard to believe,” Landon said. His voice was slow, his words drawing out carefully, while his eye contact remained intense but playful. It was enchanting. I wanted to look away, but found that I couldn’t. I licked my lips and swallowed hard, trying my best to look comfortable and natural, but I could feel that I was failing miserably at it.