On the Line

by Donna Hill

  “You don’t understand,” Daphne said. “Salvador is very persuasive.”

  “Yeah, whatevah,” I mock. “Go on.”

  “I got pregnant the first month we were married.”

  “You don’t seem to know how to move this story along, so let me help you out. How in the hell did you keep husband number one from finding out about the pregnancy from husband number two?”

  “I left Brazil when I was six weeks. When I arrived home, everything was normal except me. I tried so hard to pretend it was, but I couldn’t. I thought of every conceivable scenario to handle the mess I’d gotten myself into without anyone getting hurt. I could have an abortion and tell Sal I lost the baby, though every minute of every day as the baby grew inside me, I loved him a little more. There was no way I could try to convince a medical doctor that the baby was his. Besides, what would he say when I told him I was taking the baby back to Brazil with me?”

  “Girl, this is one hot mess! We want to know what you did and we want to know it now! How did you get out of it?”

  “I didn’t get out of it, as you say. After ten days at home I told my husband I had been reassigned in Brazil and that I had to leave right away and I wasn’t sure when I would be able to return because my assignment was classified—”

  “Ain’t that an understatement,” I interject. “And he bought this line of steaming buffalo chips?”

  “He was reluctant but agreed. I took some vacation time from work and went to a mountain cabin to think.”

  “So how’d that work for you?” My sarcasm is lost on Daphne.

  “When I was there I decided that I’d return to Salvador and have the baby. After it was all over I’d just cut it off with Eric—you know, divorce him. I was in Brazil for almost a year and hardly ever called home. It gave me the fortitude I needed to make a clean break. When Sal Jr. was six weeks old I returned.

  “Eric was distant at best and I told him I wanted a divorce. He was devastated. He told me he knew things weren’t good between us, but he was willing to do whatever he needed to do to make me happy. I tried to explain to him that it was me and not him.”

  “Oh no, not the it’s me speech! Can we get to the part of the two sets of children?”

  “Eric whined and begged. Begged and whined. It was merciless. He finally convinced me to go to counseling.”

  “How much time has passed and who’s taking care of Sal Jr.?”

  “Almost two months. The baby was with his father and nanny. I talked to him every day and I took two weekend trips to Brazil.”

  “So hubby number two is putting up with this madness?”

  “Somehow I’ve made him believe the government won’t let me quit and I have to do what they tell me. Go where they send me.”

  “Okay, so back to the counseling.”

  “Eric poured out his heart, shed more than a few tears, even begged me to give him another chance.” Daphne hesitates and sighs. “I gave in.”

  “Imagine my surprise.”

  “We went home and made love like we never had before. I got pregnant.”

  I whistle through my teeth. “Okay, now we’re getting to the good part.”

  “I’d say it’s more like we haven’t gotten to the insane part. At this point my life began spiraling out of control. And no matter how hard I tried to hold on I could feel my reality slipping away.”

  “Honey, your reality was gone long before this. You are so far beyond the point of no return. You’ve stepped off the diving board and the pool is closed for repairs!”

  “Now can you see what a mess this is?”

  “I’d have to agree this is quite the situation.” I don’t know whether to ridicule or find a means to rescue Daphne. How self-destructive must a soul be to get this far off the right path of life? “You know, I need to take a break in a couple of minutes, but we’re going to do it now so that when we come back you’ll be able to finish your story. Back in ninety seconds.”

  I flip the switch that cut her off from the airways and the telephone. My mind rewinds in warp speed, scanning my mental files for another caller who had intrigued me quite like Daphne in all the years I’ve been doing the show. I can’t think of one. I’d had countless men, mostly long-distance truck drivers, call in with their version of Daphne’s story ad nauseam. But this was different.

  Macy signals I’ll be back on the air in ten seconds. I take a deep breath, adjust the microphone, smile and begin speaking. “And you’re back on the line with Joy and Daphne. Daphne is a woman with a biiiiig secret and an even bigger problem. Let’s get right to it. Explain to us how you pulled off baby number two.”

  “I didn’t know I was pregnant until I returned to Brazil. Sal was complaining about me being away from Sal Jr. so long and so often and urged me to quit. Of course he harped on that his wife should not be working.”

  “Yeah, I can imagine how that went over in the Hispanic culture and a rich Hispanic culture at that.”

  “I convinced him that I was under a military contract and couldn’t just walk away. I had to stay at least two more years. But I knew I had to make my trips home less frequent and shorter. I told him I would talk to my boss to see if I could work exclusively in Brazil and only return to D.C. for high-level briefings. It seemed to appease him for the moment. I breathed a sigh of relief.”

  “And then, Aunt Sadie didn’t come to visit?”

  “Exactly. I missed my period. And I knew from the timing it was Eric’s baby. My first instinct was to take Sal Jr. and run. Just never return to Brazil. Not return to D.C. Maybe get reassigned to Europe.”

  “But let me guess. You just couldn’t do that.”

  “No.”

  “I’m sure I’m going to be sorry for asking, but how did you hide pregnancy number two from husband number one? No, wait. Baby number one belongs to husband number two and baby number two belongs to husband number one, or is it the other way around?” I laugh. “I’ve confused myself!”

  Ignoring the latter question, Daphne continues. “It was easy to hide the pregnancy from Salvador. He loved that I hadn’t lost the weight from the first pregnancy and when my body made subtle changes he welcomed them. When I was pregnant the first time I didn’t even start to show until I was more than five months, so I knew I had time. I returned to D.C. when I was ten weeks and told Eric I was going to have his baby. He never questioned when it could have happened. He picked me up, spun me around and, of course, told me I had to come home. I convinced him it wasn’t necessary now and that I was under the care of a military doctor who said everything was fine, which was the truth.”

  “Damn! How gullible is this guy?”

  “Eric is a brilliant surgeon. He’s not gullible—he just loves and trusts me.”

  “And how misplaced is that?” I smirk. “To all you brothers listening to this, there are sistahs who will love you and be faithful to the death. So don’t judge all of us by Daphne. There will be brothers looking at their women cross-eyed for years to come if she travels for a living.”

  “Do you want me to finish or not?”

  “Don’t get testy with me!” I snap. “You called me, remember!”

  “Anyway,” Daphne begins with more than a hint of disdain. “Eric called me constantly, which wasn’t an issue if I was working. But with the two-hour time difference I had difficulty in the evenings. But somehow I managed to talk to him without Salvador finding out. I finally made it to twenty-one weeks and left for a six-month tour back in the States.”

  “What about Sal Jr.? How did you explain not seeing your baby for that long?”

  “Sal knew very little about what I do. When I get called on assignment, there are times I can’t tell anyone what I’m doing. Though he’d gotten used to it, he never liked it.”

  “How can any job require you to be away from your family for six months?”

  “This isn’t a job, it’s the government.”

  “I guess,” I murmur. “But how could you, as a mother, go all that
time and not see your baby?”

  “It was harder than you will ever know and one of the things that drove me to make this phone call.” Daphne hesitates, draws in a deep breath before continuing. “I know what I’ve done is wrong. Wrong for a million reasons that seemed so right not so long ago. Wrong for Eric and Sal. Wrong for Sal Jr. and Erica, but most of all wrong for me.”

  “How can you think that you are the one most hurt by all of this?”

  “Because I am the one who has to walk away from everything. I will lose it all. Everything that I lied and connived to get or hold on to I have to leave now so that no one gets hurt.”

  “Do you honestly think you haven’t hurt anyone by what you’ve done? I mean, come on now—”

  “They will get over it.”

  “You know, Daphne, at one point of this call I almost felt sorry for you, but now I don’t know what I feel. You have two men who adore you and two children who need you. You need to make a choice.”

  “How can I choose one family over another? I love them all equally. That is why I have to just walk away.”

  “You’re on the line with Joy and Daphne.” My tone returns to professional radio talk show host instantly. “We’re going to take a commercial break here and when we come back, Daphne, I want you to tell us what you’re going to do to fix this mess you’ve created for yourself. We’ll be right back.”

  I flip the switch. I look at the phone panel and see that every light is lit. Macy has called for an intern to help answer the phones. I’ve received more than five hundred e-mails since the Daphne tale started to unfold. Instead of scanning the subjects of the e-mails as I normally would, to pick the juicy ones, I close my eyes and lay my head back. Daphne has drained me. I’m so pissed with this woman I don’t know what to do, so I do nothing. Rarely has anyone been able to solicit this kind of emotion from me. I use a deep-breathing technique I learned in yoga.

  When Macy barges into the studio, I jump involuntarily. “You’ve got to talk to the caller on line fourteen.” Her horsey face is all animated.

  I glance at the clock and see I have nineteen seconds before I am back on live with Daphne. “I can’t take a call now!”

  “He said his name is Eric!”

  “Holy shit!” I push the button labeled fourteen and pick up the same time I command Macy to run another short set of commercials.

  “You’re on the line with Joy.”

  Silence.

  “You’ve got twenty seconds to tell me why you called or I hang up.”

  “My name is Eric. And the woman you’ve spent most of this hour talking to is my wife.”

  I’m stunned. I’m having a Jerry Springer and Maury Povich moment all wrapped into one. “What did you say?” I ask, trying to buy time to think.

  “My name is Eric and I’m Daphne’s husband.”

  Macy signals it’s time to return to the air. “Eric, I have to go back on live, please don’t hang up.”

  “Why would I hang up without talking to Daphne?”

  My adrenaline shoots through the ozone layer and my heart races as I open the microphone. “Welcome back to On the Line with your host Joy Newhouse. We spent most of this hour with Daphne, who’s been living a double-jeopardy life and says she’s sick and tired and wants out. While we were away there was an interesting caller. Our boards have been lit up and if you’re trying to get through, keep trying. Daphne, I must tell you I can’t remember ever getting as many e-mails for any one caller before you. You’ve got the world riveted.”

  “I didn’t call for any reason other than to get out this crippling secret.”

  “So, Daphne, which husband do you plan to tell first and how do you think you’ll break the news?”

  “I want to tell Salvador that I’m not coming back to Brazil.”

  “But, by your own admission earlier, you said it’s not that easy to just leave your assignment. And what about your son?”

  “I’ve already tendered my resignation.”

  “Sounds like you’ve really thought this through.”

  “Of course I have!”

  “And what about Eric and Erica?”

  “I still have some time before I talk to Eric. But I can’t stay here. Salvador will find me and come make trouble, I’m sure of it.”

  “So you’re not planning to tell Eric until you get around to it?” I toy with her. “Going to weigh your options, as you will. Then spring it on him when it’s good for you?”

  “I wouldn’t put it quite so crass, but yes. Maybe we could move away and I would never have to tell him about Salvador. And even if I do have to tell him, he’d be hurt, but in time he’d forgive me.”

  “You know, Daphne, you’re a pretty cool sistah.” I smile both inside and out. “Oh, I almost forgot about the caller I have on hold. Of all the calls we received, I think this one is the most interesting with his opinion on the subject.”

  I touch the button that opens line fourteen. “Caller, have you been listening to the Daphne saga?”

  “Yes, I have.” Eric’s voice is rich and deep, yet shaky.

  “And what do you think about all of this?”

  “I just don’t understand how she could do this to a man who worships her, would move mountains for her.”

  “Oh my God!” Daphne gasps. “Eric, is that you?”

  I give a high sign to Macy.

  “Now that’s what I call reality radio, people! And just imagine we have three more fun-packed hours to go. Best of luck, Daphne and Eric. After this commercial break, we’ll be back with our next saga.” I flop back in my seat, spent. Can’t say I don’t have fun at my job.

  CHAPTER 4

  I eye Macy in the control room and she gives me the countdown that we’ll be back on air in five…four…three…two…one…

  “Hey, hey, radio-land. Things have been on and popping tonight. If you missed the first couple of hours you missed a helluva lot. But you can catch up online by going to the Internet and downloading the show from WHOTgoJoy.com. Now let’s keep it rolling. I’m going to switch gears a little bit. The ladies have been on the hot seat tonight. Now it’s a brother’s turn to show they can be just as slick as the ladies! I have a letter here from a brother that titles his little saga Confessions of a Baby Daddy. Well alrighty then. Here we go….

  Ms. Joy Newhouse, I feel like I know you. I listen to your show all the time. I love your conversations with the public and I really love the jazz and rhythm and blues you play in between your conversations with listeners. It really sets the mood for the conversations. They are all so intriguing. I love jazz, you know. I wanted to call and make a confession. Well, not really a confession, but an apology to the four women that have children by me.

  I wanted to do it publicly, so that they will know I’m sincere and have thought about it. I’m not apologizing for my kids, because I love them all. They are my life. But the fact that I have four children by four different women has not been an easy burden. I have three girls and one boy. I have been active in all of their lives since birth. I only married one of the children’s mothers, but I’ll get to that. I hope you have time for me to tell you the story. I have needed to get this off my chest for some time now.

  I’m not a player and making babies was not something I set out to do. It’s just a lack of sexual responsibility, but that’s not all my fault. Three of the women that have children by me I had been dating for over two years, but if you don’t want children, we men need to use a condom at ALL times. The other woman and I both agreed we did not want kids, but I digress back to the condom statement. I hope this story can make a positive difference in some of the younger men who are listening. I’m an educated man with a master’s degree. You can say I was a victim of the Paisley Park Era; Prince, Morris Day and The Time, Sheila E. Sexual freedom was on the rise and as they say, “Gigolos get lonely, too.” It was a ridiculous mindset at the time.

  My name is Vance Legend and I am a forty-year-old postal worker. I hate my job, but that’
s another story. It pays the bills and the benefits are great. I met the first mother, Crystal Randall, nineteen years ago in Kansas City, Missouri. I had just finished my freshman year at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas, and was working in the summer with my father at Rockhurst University in Kansas City where we lived. I worked with the Upward Bound program. It gave high school students six weeks’ experience of college classes on a college campus for college credits and we took the kids on trips to compete against other Upward Bound programs in the area. It was a really cool program and the kids got stipends for the summer.

  I was a counselor and tutor at the program and assistant dorm director. We had seventy-five students for the summer. They had classes in math, English, science and reading.

  The students had a boys’ and a girls’ basketball team, and both were very good. I was the coach, along with another counselor, and we practiced every evening. That’s where I met Crystal Randall. The All-American Cheerleading Association had their camp at Rockhurst University that same summer and Crystal was an instructor. She had cheered professionally for the Colorado Avalanche hockey team and the Denver Nuggets basketball team.

  I noticed her as soon as she set foot on the campus. They stayed in the dorm across a soccer field from where our program dorm was. We first made eye contact in the cafeteria at lunchtime one day. My friend, Hardy Washington, had nudged me and nodded in the direction of her stare. She and a couple of her friends were looking at our table and she was eyeing me. I nodded hello. There was an instant attraction, but after the meal when I approached her she played me off. I liked that. I could tell she was independent and it took more than a hello to get some of her time.

  Crystal and I eventually got together and had a great time. For the next few weeks all we did was go for walks, talk, and go around town doing things together. It was really cool. When the time came for them to leave, it was sad. We had grown attached and exchanged numbers. Their next stop was in Wichita, Kansas, about two hours from Kansas City. Crystal asked if I wanted her to come back and visit. Of course, I said yes.