A.J. Jacobs Omnibus: The Know-It-All, The Year of Living Biblically, My Life as an Experiment

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A.J. Jacobs Omnibus: The Know-It-All, The Year of Living Biblically, My Life as an Experiment Page 90

by A. J. Jacobs


  predominance of males in

  shift away from extreme individualism in

  transparency tried in

  walloping as H-bomb of

  parents, honoring of

  by ancient Israelites

  with biblical year in mind

  guilt feelings about

  Pascal, Blaise

  Pascal’s wager

  Passover

  Passover seder, Jacobs family

  AJ’s grandmother’s childhood memories read at

  AJ’s raiment at

  doorposts painted with lamb’s blood at

  ex-uncle’s maniacal charisma needed at

  past secular versions of

  Paul, Apostle:

  celibacy recommended by

  “Circumcise the heart” advised by

  paganism, not homosexuality, seen as target of

  on short hair for men

  as talking robot

  see also specific epistles

  Paul (friend)

  Pay It Forward

  payot (side locks)

  cute Israeli blond’s fetish for fondling of

  peace, striving for

  Penuel, Jacob’s divine wrestle at

  People magazine

  people who look or act like:

  Garth Brooks

  Gary Busey (if Gary Busey had his hair parted in the middle)

  George Burns

  Jack Nicholson (after electroshock therapy in Cuckoo’s Nest)

  Janis Joplin (thirty-five years later)

  Joe Torre

  Kaczynski, Lincoln, or Moses

  Laurel and Hardy

  Nick Nolte (after a couple of vodka tonics)

  Oscar de la Hoya

  Paul Reubens

  Ray Liotta (in Goodfellas)

  Sean Penn (in I Am Sam)

  Steve Buscemi

  a strapping Jackie Mason

  they’ve just been circumcised

  Thomas Jefferson

  an ultrareligious Donald Trump

  Perelman, Ron

  Perez and Zerah

  perjury, penalty for

  Perkins, Bill

  Peter, First Epistle of:

  on the end being at hand

  on obedience to the emperor

  Peters, Bill

  Pharisees

  sanctimonious legalism of

  Philistines, Isaac’s strategem against

  Phillips, Kevin

  pigeons, kosher, for mandated mother and egg separation

  “pigskin,” overliteralization of

  pig’s valves, life trumps all with

  Pirkei Avot: Ethics of the Fathers,

  Playboy, Magic Marker censorship of

  playing cards, avoiding contact with

  polygamy

  ancient Israelite practice of

  Bible study helpful in arranging for

  how to get the point across to wives in

  persecution against

  telling prospective second wife about the present wife in

  polytheism

  pop culture:

  creationist monitoring of

  famed landmarks of

  population boom, twins a contribution to

  Portnoy, Eddy

  AJ told of animal sacrifice venue over lunch with

  poverty, the poor

  global

  Red-letter Christian views on

  sleep-induced

  prayer

  appealing repetitions of

  in bathroom Sabbath

  cognitive dissonance demonstrated in

  without conviction

  decompression effect of

  “God willing,”

  of grace, before or after meals

  intercessory

  for Jasper

  mojo at work by

  prefabricated

  punctual attendance at

  as sacrifice of time

  scheduling of

  for serpent handlers

  the Shema

  for spiritual guidance

  study indicating potentially poor effects of

  thanksgiving

  when introducing one’s first wife to polygamy

  pregnancy:

  long-awaited, good things resulting from

  as Lot’s surprise

  real, undisputed, and multiple

  in Tamar’s tale

  Previn, Soon-Yi

  prodigal son, parable of

  profanity

  see also forbidden speech

  Promised Land

  prophets:

  as ancient David Blaines with orders from God

  false, with loincloths on their heads

  reading of

  Prosperity Gospel, The

  prostitution, in Tamar’s tale

  Protestantism, sola scriptura in

  Protestant Old Testament

  Protestant Reformation

  Proverbs, Book of:

  on avoiding knowledge displays

  on avoiding wine and strong drink

  on being slow to anger

  on child rearing

  on frankness trumping flattery

  on he who is glad at calamity

  on how lust can undo one

  on how to come to a well-rested poverty

  King Solomon’s practical guidance in

  on the Lord’s keeping watch

  on not boasting about tomorrow

  on not despising one’s neighbor

  Proverbs, Book of (cont.) on the purposefulness of everything

  on the rewards of righteousness

  on truth telling

  on walking with a forward gaze

  on weights and measures

  winking decried in

  on the wisdom of the humble

  Psalms, Book of: on avoiding gossip

  evidence against global warming found in

  geocentricism also found in

  on God being with the righteous

  interactive deity in

  King David’s authorship of

  “The Lord is all that” (hip-hop version)

  on the Lord’s life-giving precepts

  on monthly blowing the trumpet

  on playing the harp of ten strings

  on praise for the glory of the Lord

  on praying to God

  righteous urged to rejoice in

  on rising at midnight

  on thanking and glorifying the Lord

  “The Lord is my shepherd” (standard version)

  on unbelievers

  on unborn child

  on understanding God’s precepts

  on wine gladdening the heart

  puns, winking with (antibiblical)

  Purim, unobserved

  Puritans, Puritanism

  AJ’s antisex streak in line with

  Epicureanism in biblical conflict with

  neo-

  Sabbath taken seriously by

  purity laws

  fascinating but complex history of, in eight lines

  home life challenged by

  Judaic fixation with

  male haircutter required for

  Orthodox take on

  Samaritan (superstrict)

  Purpose-Driven Life, The (Warren)

  Putnam, Robert, on “bowling alone,”

  Qohelet, see Ecclesiastes

  rabbis, Sabbath “rest” explicated by

  rabbits: inspire lively treatise on profanity

  Wascally Wabbit now in cross hairs of creationists

  what they eat is their own business

  Rachel (Julie’s friend), reassurances of purity from

  racial intermarriage, creationist view of

  racism, a lesson from Jesus on

  Radical Honesty (Blanton)

  ram’s horn, see shofar

  Reading the Bible Again for the First Time (Borg)

  Rebecca, as Isaac’s pretended sister

  RECAP (Recover A Penis)

 
reconstructionism, extremist views of

  red heifer

  biblical description and ritual of

  end times and/or Jewish Messiah heralded by

  sticky issues in breeding of

  Red-letter Christians

  Black-letter backlash to

  literalism of

  naming of

  political and social orientation of

  Prosperity Gospel seen as heresy by

  Reiner, Rob, Meathead role of

  religion(s): absolute statements mocked by

  bowling alone or belonging in

  classifying OCD traits in

  compassionate, at their best

  dining with a spokesman for the arrogant side of

  losing control seen as slippery slope in

  picking and choosing in

  see cafeteria religion

  role of choice and responsibility in

  science separate from

  unexpectedly mundane aspects of

  religious right: homosexuality a cultural obsession of

  political links of

  radical teachings of Jesus ignored by

  religious study, relentless growth of reading list for

  Republican Party, religious right’s ties to

  Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism (Spong)

  Reuben, Jacob’s anger with

  Revelation, Book of, futurist vs. past-historical view of

  Richards, Elton (“pastor out to pasture”)

  on Bible as divine snapshot

  on Falwell’s Christianity vs. Jesus’ message

  on four types of prayer (ACTS)

  on how tithing should feel

  on inadequacy of Pascal’s wager

  majestic food metaphors of

  on obedience to human vs. “higher” authority

  on verbal pollution

  Richman, Chaim

  Rick (cousin)

  righteous idiocy

  ritual bath

  rituals: bird’s nest

  dovetailing of AJ’s OCD with

  foot washing

  kaparot

  of obsessive gratitude

  off-the-rack vs. concocting your own

  of red heifer

  on starting the day

  tefillin wearing

  weird and little, AJ as prone to

  Rivka (cousin), Sabbath freezer rules observed by

  robe, biblical

  as embarrassing, polarizing, and ego rattling

  Robertson, Gordon

  Robertson, Pat

  Romans, Epistle to: on the holy kiss

  on how God punished the sins of the Gentiles

  Rome, ancient: apocalyptic literature on

  book about an atheist arena carnage cleaner in

  Roose, Kevin, as AJ’s biblical slave, by agreement

  Roosevelt, Eleanor

  Rosh Hashanah

  regretted solo observance of

  Rubin, Jordan

  rules, biblical: AJ’s OCD comfortable with

  in Amish Ordnung

  as benignly choice-restricting

  for building a sukkah

  choice-restricting, how to choose among

  ends-justifying-means outlook vs.

  forty-five on idolatry alone

  4,649 needed for creating a certified mezuzah

  learning to take joy in

  oft-neglected

  picking and choosing of

  see cafeteria religion

  reasons for discontinued observance of

  revising original rule for obedience to

  Sabbath

  for sacrifice

  sanity loss risked by wholesale pursuit of

  for slaveholding

  on tassels

  as time consuming

  as time saving

  see also laws, biblical; Most Perplexing Rules; Most Violated Rules

  Rules of a Godly Life (Amish book)

  Russell, Bertrand

  Ruth, Book of, Ruth’s gathering of gleanings and Boaz in

  Sabbath

  Christian debate over

  Karaite disengagement from electric company on

  obeying traffic laws as urban version of

  Pharasaic legalism about

  punishment for breaking of

  syncopated list of those banned from working on

  two-hour headache caused by paradoxical thought on

  unusual bathroom simulation of, see bathroom Sabbath

  weekdays, Saturday, or Sunday: now everyone works

  week oriented around

  Sabbath year

  sacrifice: in Abraham and Isaac story

  crucifixion as

  of time

  tithing as

  Samaria, ancient

  Samaritan Bible

  Samaritan calendar

  Samaritans

  AJ/CJ reference as icebreaker for

  biblical literalism of

  in Jesus’ parable

  lesson in Jesus’ embrace of

  menstruation separation as practiced by

  as one of Israel’s lost tribes

  in “what if” scenario

  Sammy’s Roumanian Steak House, dining trauma at

  Samson, Delilah’s doing and undoing of

  Samuel, mother’s prayer answered with birth of

  Samuel, Second Book of: on Absalom’s death

  on David dancing

  Sank, Lew, peritectomies performed by

  Sara (cousin), wedding of

  Sarah (biblical): eventual pregnancy of

  Pharaoh understandably put out about

  Saul, increasing paranoia of

  Save Darfur

  Scalia, Antonin, “originalism” of

  scapechickens, see kaparot, ritual of scapegoats

  Schlessinger, Dr. Laura

  schmaltz hazards

  Schneerson, Menachem Mendel, proclaimed as the Messiah

  Schoenberg, Doug

  gossip (technically) about

  Schoenberg, Eric: as AJ’s polymathic tormentor

  circumcision jest of

  on jam buyer experiment

  on miracles and science

  Schoenberg, Larry and Barbara (Julie’s dad and stepmom)

  Schulze, Reverend

  sciatica, risk factors for

  Scrabble, when not to play

  Seagal, Steven, beardlessness of

  Sea of Galilee, oceanographic conditions met for Jesus walking on

  Second Commandment

  on AJ’s Most Violated List

  as writers’ rallying cry

  Second Temple, Roman destruction of (70 CE)

  see also forbidden images; idols, idolatry

  secular humanism: AJ’s alter ego on

  lure of

  seders

  see also Passover seder, Jacobs family

  serpent handling

  origin and spread of

  see also Church of God with Signs Following; Morrow, Jimmy

  Set Table, The (Shulchan Aruch)

  700 Club, The,

  Seventeen magazine, Bible camouflaged as

  Seventh Commandment

  see also adulterers, adultery

  Seventh-day Adventists

  sex, sexual activity: AJ’s G-rated history of

  bathing (individually) required after

  celibacy or marriage as biblically approved alternatives to

  contraceptive, Onan’s fatal recourse to

  monthly abstention from

  taking your mind off

  see lust avoidance when it’s a capital offense

  see capital punishment, biblical

  Shake Rabbis and Roll (SR2)

  shaking hands, purity laws supportive of germaphobe’s views on

  shatnez (mixed fibers)

  testing for

  Shayna (Jasper’s friend), enviable vocabulary of

  sheep, shepherding

  as ideal entry-level job for patriarchs


  an invitation to Samaritan sacrifice of

  surprising noisiness of

  “Shema, the”

  shmata trade

  shoes, enigmatic rules for putting on

  shofar (ram’s horn)

  a couple of clear notes produced with

  forgetting to take it to New Jersey

  instructions for monthly blowing of

  Shulevitz, Judith

  side locks, see payot

  sign of the cross

  Simchas Torah

  sins, chickens as vicarious atoners of

  sitting shiva, for potential life

  Slate magazine

  slave/intern

  slavery

  benefits seen in

  cursed by inability to sell oneself into

  slavery (cont.) forcing kidnap victims into

  unpaid internship as closest we have to

  sleeping: problems bearded people have in

  vulnerability in

  sleeping around, biblical restrictions on

  Slifkin, Natan “the Zoo Rabbi

  Smucker, Amos

  enviable monosyllables of

  guests entertained with jokes of

  harmonica playing by

  Smucker, Anna

  Smucker, Christian

  Smuckers, the strawberry-jam people

  snow, estimating Eskimo words for

  Sodom: God’s destruction of

  Lot’s family in ill-starred flight from

  negotiating with the Lord about

  Sojourners magazine

  Solomon, King

  Book of Proverbs attributed to

  seven hundred wives and adultery concerns of

  Song of Solomon: on being sick with love

  B-word in

  as paean to erotic love

  soup kitchen (Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen in Chelsea--incredible place)

  AJ asked, impolitely, to go away from

  AJ as victim of power play at

  AJ demoted to garbage duty at

  church youth groups often at

  hot female volunteers near front door of

  speaking in tongues

  speed limits

  Spicoli, Jeff, on the totally bogus

  Spinoza, Baruch

  spiritual advisory board

  advice and context expected from

  on original menstruation laws

  Spong, John Shelby, on overliteralizing God’s words

  Starbucks: AJ in meeting with delusional other self at

  guy who for forty-five minutes monopolized the bathroom at (same person?)

  kindness to strangers in

  lying about internet costs at

  stealing straws debated in

  Star Trek

  status quo theology

  stealing

  of neighbor’s wireless signal

  rationalizing about

  unprincipled niceties spurned in

  stem cells, religious controversy on

  Stone, Oliver

  street corners, how you can observe a lot by just watching on

  street juggler, mid-act cell phone call taken by

  strychnine, drinking of

  subway, subway riders

  Bible reader as viewed by

  Hasidim as

  homeless ignored expertly by

 

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