Blazing Love

by Chantel Rhondeau

  Frankie and Carlos chased behind him as Thayne marched through the bar. Apparently everyone could sense the tension coming off him because they dodged out of his way as though he were an oncoming freight train.

  “Where are you going?” Frankie asked from behind him.

  Thayne kept moving, but shouted over his shoulder. “Home. You’re right. I’m drunk enough that going over and ripping that guy’s head off for being with my woman seems like a good idea. And she’s not even my flippin’ woman.”

  “I’ve only had one beer,” Frankie said. “I’ll drive you.”

  Thayne stopped abruptly, turning to face him as the younger men bumped into each other in their attempt to keep from ramming into Thayne. “I appreciate the offer, but I need to be alone. I’m not in the mood for company.”

  He shouldn’t drink tequila, not when he was already frustrated about so many things. It made him mean, and he didn’t want to do anything to make Frankie and Carlos regret trying to help him get over Laura. After all, they hadn’t meant to run into her and upset him. They were trying to cheer him up.

  He took in a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. “I need to sleep this off and get in a better place. You guys have fun, and I’ll see you at our next shift.”

  “Okay, partner,” Frankie said. “But I’m a phone call away if you need anything. I got your back.”

  ***

  Come on, bus. Get here before Tony decides to look for me. I have to get away.

  Laura bounced up and down in her high-heeled shoes at the corner bus stop. It might have started out as a warm, spring day, but now that the sun had set, she was freezing. “You should go back in, Vicky. It’s cold out here. Just tell them I got sick and left.”

  Vicky shook her head. “Not until I know you’re safe on the bus.” Her eyes darted around the busy street, seeming to watch everyone at once. “There are a lot of drunk people around. I don’t want to take any chances.”

  Laura narrowed her eyes. “But then you’ll be out here alone with them. What’s the difference?”

  “The difference is I don’t have panic attacks, so can handle it if someone messes with me.”

  Yep, it was a bad idea to tell her everything. Now she feels responsible for me. I should have kept my mouth shut at work like I always did back home.

  The problem was, back home she had plenty of people to talk to about her problems and didn’t need to confide in her boss. Vicky had become more friend than boss, though, and Laura had to talk to someone.

  “I’m not going to have a panic attack. I’ve been fine all night.”

  Vicky turned her head sharply to stare at her. “You’re fine? But I thought that’s why you wanted to leave. Tony gave you a panic attack.”

  She snorted. “I want to leave because Tony’s slimy and gross.”

  “Hey, he’s not bad,” Vicky argued. “He’s really handsome and likes you.”

  “He might look handsome on the outside, but I don’t get a good feeling from him.”

  “And that doesn’t give you a panic attack?” Vicky looked perplexed. “Then why does Thayne?”

  Because my therapist is right, and I’m sabotaging any chance I might have at happiness. Thayne makes me panic because I could easily fall for him.

  Instead of saying that, Laura shrugged.

  “What the hell?” a loud male voice exclaimed. “You’re everywhere I go. Can’t you just get out of my fucking way?”

  Laura and Vicky both turned, startled. Thayne charged toward them like a raging bull.

  “What is he doing here?” Laura asked, feeling the all-too-familiar palpitations start in her chest.

  Vicky squeezed her hand. “Just breathe. It’ll be okay.”

  Easy for you to say. You aren’t the one god man’s glaring at.

  Laura breathed through her nose deeply, willing the anxiety to fade. She couldn’t let herself go into full-blown panic attack just because she bumped into Thayne at a public place. It was bound to happen occasionally.

  He stopped less than an arm’s length away, forcing Laura to step back.

  “I can’t believe you,” he fumed, face red and breath reeking of alcohol.

  “Calm down.” Vicky put a placating hand against Thayne’s upper arm. “What’s the problem?”

  Thayne jerked his shoulder back, flinging her hand away. Apparently he wasn’t in the mood to be calmed. “I saw you,” he spat, not even seeming to notice Vicky’s presence in his all-encompassing need to glare at Laura. “I saw you with that asshole. Is he the reason you didn’t want to see me again?”

  Laura widened her eyes, surprised. “He has nothing—”

  “She owes you no explanations,” Vicky cut in, overriding Laura. “You blew your chance. Get away from us.”

  His glare finally shifted to Vicky. “Mind your damn own business. This has nothing to do with you.”

  His voice was growly and low, sending a shiver of fear down Laura’s back. She concentrated on her breathing even harder, wishing she had a bag to breathe into so she didn’t hyperventilate. Her legs shook so badly, she wanted to sit on the nearby bus stop bench, but that would put Thayne in too much power above her.

  I thought it was bad when I was having attacks because I want him. Angry Thor is so much worse. If he had a mighty hammer now, he’d probably bash my brains in.

  As Thayne turned back to Laura, a red blush of rage spread down his neck and chest, making him look nearly apoplectic. “You have nothing to say?”

  Laura knew she had to calm things down, but she didn’t have a clue what could help this situation. “It’s not—”

  “Your business,” Vicky cut in again as Laura struggled to speak past her anxiety. It would be a lot easier to talk if Vicky stopped butting in whenever she tried it.

  “Not my business, is it?” Thayne cracked his knuckles and looked away from Laura’s eyes.

  “Thayne,” Laura forced from her constricted throat, “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

  His gaze snapped to her again, and she faltered back another step. “It just happened, huh? You didn’t mean to?”

  Laura managed to nod.

  “Yeah, right. I never took you as such a cold-hearted bitch, Laura, but I guess I’m not as good a judge of people as I thought.” Thayne crossed his arms, which made the large muscles bulge threateningly. “You let me chase you all that time for a single dinner, and then made up excuses why we can’t be together. All along you had that stuffy business prick waiting in the wings? Is that why you lied about us not fitting together? ’Cause you know damn well and good that we are a perfect fit.”

  Laura blinked rapidly. It was obvious Thayne was drunk and not thinking rationally, but him calling her a bitch hurt anyway. “I didn’t—”

  “Owe you an explanation,” Vicky repeated, stepping in front of Laura and breaking off Thayne’s horrible glare. “Get out of here, or I’ll call her boyfriend out to take care of this problem.”

  “Yeah?” Thayne huffed out a loud breath. “I could take the suit with one arm tied behind my back. In fact, I want to. Call him out here and let’s see.”

  “Is that jealousy I hear? Oh, poor thing,” Vicky cooed with mock sympathy. “A girl finally turned you down, and you show your true colors, proving what an asshole you really are. Laura can do better than you.”

  I don’t understand...is she trying to upset him worse? He’s drunk, and she’s picking a fight with him.

  Laura grabbed Vicky’s arm and pulled her out of the way, finally feeling the paralysis of her anxiety lifting. She couldn’t intentionally hurt Thayne or let this go any farther. He was drunk and obviously feeling jealous about Tony, which couldn’t be a good combination. He was bound to hurt someone.

  “There’s no reason for anyone to fight,” she said softly. “I didn’t dump you for Tony. I barely met him tonight. Vicky asked me to double with her husband’s old college buddy, that’s it. I’m heading home right now. Alone.”

  Thayne’s eyes narrowed
, confusion crowding behind them although his breathing was still heavy. “A blind date?”

  “Yes, and a real jackass who I’ll never see again,” Laura confirmed. “How about everyone goes their separate ways, and we all forget about this argument?”

  “Yeah,” Vicky agreed, still sounding snarky. “Because you’re going to feel like a real dick in the morning when you realize how rude you were to Laura, for no reason.”

  “Vicky!” Laura shook her head. “Just stop. I know you’re trying to protect me, but stop. Go back inside and enjoy your date with your husband. I’m okay with Thayne here. He’s not going to let anything happen to me.”

  She glanced back to Thayne. All the fight had left his posture, and he looked confused and a bit dazed. After speaking with him every day for six weeks, Laura knew the aggressive, jerk stance wasn’t his normal state. He’d had too much to drink but was calming now.

  Vicky stared at her for a few moments longer, likely trying to determine if Laura could really handle Thayne without panicking.

  “I promise everything is fine,” Laura said. “I’m fine.”

  “Okay, then.” Vicky hugged her quickly. “Text me when you get home safe, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” She brushed past Thayne, not even looking at him.

  “Laura, I’m so sorry.” Thayne’s voice sounded anguished and softened Laura’s heart toward him. “I didn’t know the date was... I mean, I thought you...he...” He shook his head and stared past her shoulder, not meeting her eyes. “Damn it. I screwed up. I never should have talked to you that way. I didn’t mean it. You aren’t...what I said.” He shook his head sharply, causing him to stumble a bit in his drunken state. “God, I’m an asshole.”

  Keep the conversation light and friendly. Nothing to provoke my panic.

  “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it.” Laura walked the few steps to the bench and sat gingerly, happy her shaking was under control despite Thayne’s presence. “Did you come out here to take the bus home?”

  “No.” Thayne weaved slightly as he walked, but made it to the bench. He sat beside her, clasping his hands together. “I was going to catch a cab, but then saw you standing here and, well, turned into a raging asshole.”

  “Glad you’re taking a cab. Driving wouldn’t be safe.”

  “You’re worried about me?” He turned to face her, eyebrows drawn together. “I figured you didn’t care.”

  Is the problem that I care too much? Dr. Mason says I need to let myself be happy and not feel guilty, but Brian would probably feel differently if he could talk to me.

  She turned her head toward the front of the bar, just needing to look away from Thayne. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings again, especially since he was so quick to anger with all the alcohol flowing through him, but she also didn’t want to encourage him. She couldn’t see him, even if she wanted to. It wasn’t fair to Brian.

  He shifted next to her on the bench and then his callused hand brushed against her cheek, turning her head to face him.

  His green eyes peered at her with a deep intensity, and he stroked her cheek softly with his thumb. “I miss you, Laura, a lot. I know I screwed up big time tonight, and I can’t change what I said. Let’s just start all over.”

  She shook her head once softly. “You could have any girl you want, Thayne.”

  “Then that means I get you.” His thumb grazed across her bottom lip. “You’re who I want.”

  This wasn’t going well, and her breathing quickened once again. She had to get control of things. “I’m not ready for a relationship. It’s not you. It’s me.”

  Well, that’s original. Except it’s true. Thayne seems great. Well...if I forget he called me a bitch in a drunken rage, that is.

  The bus pulled up, exhaust tainting the air and making Laura cough.

  Thayne dropped his hand from her face without replying.

  She stood, clutching her purse and heading for the bus’s stairs. It would be better to get out of here. Make a clean break of things. She wondered what Dr. Mason would have to say about this at her next session. Probably that she was a coward and should have given Thayne another chance.

  “Laura, wait.”

  With her foot on the first stair, Laura turned back, even though she knew she shouldn’t. “What?”

  “I truly am sorry for being a jerk tonight. Vicky’s right, I’m going to feel horrible about that for a long, long time.”

  She was sure he would, because other than this momentary lapse, he was a good man. “I know you didn’t mean it. Don’t worry. Goodnight.”

  She climbed another step, pulling her bus pass from her purse.

  “Just one more thing,” Thayne called.

  I have to get out of here.

  She stepped up the last stair and swiped the card through the electric reader. Despite herself, she glanced over her shoulder, curious what he wanted to tell her.

  Thayne stood in front of the open door. “You are not a five, so don’t sell yourself short. You’re everything I’ve been searching for—a definite ten.”

  Laura’s breath caught in her throat. He was serious. He didn’t see her physical flaws, not to mention how screwed up and broken she was emotionally.

  “Are you getting on, sir?” the bus driver called, apparently tired of them holding up his driving schedule.

  Thayne shook his head and stepped back.

  The bus lurched forward, moving before Laura turned to sit down.

  Chapter Nine

  Thayne woke up the next day to someone pounding on his front door. It was no match for the pounding in his head.

  He looked at the clock on his nightstand—only a bit past eight. Didn’t they know it was his day off? However, the pounding kept up, so Thayne rolled out of bed.

  Standing wasn’t such a good idea, causing the thumping in his head to intensify. He threw some clothes on, wondering if the visitor would leave before he could figure out how to bend over to pick up pants off the floor without his head exploding.

  Eventually, he dressed and wandered into the living room of his small house. The knocker hadn’t resumed pounding again, and Thayne was sure they must have left.

  He opened the door anyway to find Bonnie standing on the porch, scribbling a note on the side of a disposable coffee cup.

  She looked up, amusement clear in her blue eyes. “Hey, there. I didn’t know if I could wake you or not.” She pressed the cup into his hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I thought you might need this.”

  The sunshine made his head hurt worse, and Thayne backed into the living room to escape it. “Come on in.”

  Bonnie did so, shutting the door behind her. “Do you have any medicine for that hangover?”

  Thayne took a big gulp of the black coffee, trying to find his bearings. “Why are you here? Did I call you last night? I don’t remember.”

  Bonnie shook her head and made a disapproving tsking noise. “You aren’t the only man from the firehouse who keeps in contact with me. Wilson heard about your bender and called this morning.”

  Captain Smith knew. That meant Frankie and Carlos told him.

  “How drunk was I, if the probies felt they had to report it?” He shook his head, renewing the pain. “Damn. I shouldn’t drink so much. Things got out of hand.”

  Bonnie pressed her lips together tightly, looking away from him. “Do you remember running into Laura last night?”

  “Laura?” Thayne struggled to remember. “Oh, yeah. She was out with someone else, and that’s why I started in on the tequila.”

  “Oh, Thayne, tequila? Didn’t you learn after Carl’s so-called man party that year with the other guys from the station? So much tequila flowing around that poker game, and you turned into a raging asshole.” She glanced back up, one eyebrow raised. “Not unlike last night from what Captain Smith said.”

  “What did the guys tell him happened?” Thayne dreaded the answer. Did he punch out Laura’s date? He remembered wanting to, but after his last shot th
ings got fuzzy. “Did I hurt anyone?”

  “No, or else you’d probably be in jail. Apparently, from what Laura’s boss told Frankie when she went back inside the bar, you confronted Laura outside and told her she was a cold-hearted bitch for stringing you along. Not your most brilliant move.”

  The memories of last night hit him, and Thayne walked to his reclining chair, slumping down onto it. “Fuck. I remember now. I’m a damn idiot.” Thayne gulped some more coffee.

  Bonnie perched on the arm of the chair next to him, crossing her shapely legs. “Yep. That about sums it up. Now you know how much groveling you need to do if you want her back.”

  He shook his head, not even caring now that the motion made his head pound worse. He deserved this hangover. “I told you before. Laura isn’t the right girl for me. It doesn’t matter that I think she’s the perfect girl. She made up reasons not to be with me. She doesn’t want me.”

  However, he also remembered talking to her last night after he apologized. It almost felt like he was on the verge of a breakthrough with her before she suddenly withdrew again.

  “I don’t believe you, Thayne. No one gets that pissed off and drinks himself to oblivion if he doesn’t want the girl.” She stood and headed toward the door. “Since you wouldn’t agree to sleep with me,” she winked, referring to the longstanding joke they’d shared back when Carl was alive, “go get yourself cleaned up and go after Laura. You are a mess without her. What you’re doing isn’t working.”

  “Thanks, Bon. I appreciate you knocking sense into me.”

  “Don’t thank me,” she said. “Just go make things right with that girl. Oh, and once you talk her into seeing you again, tell her I’m cooking us all dinner tomorrow night.”

  “All?”

  She opened the front door. “It’s time for you to meet Patrick. I told you things were getting serious, so it’s past time for you to get to know each other.”