Too Much to Lose

by Holt, Samantha

  “I don’t want to go to the cops anyway. They clearly didn’t think the shooting was personal. They’re probably right.”

  Hunter shakes his head.

  “Will you stop trying to scare me,” I hiss.

  “I don’t mean to. I just need you to understand what you’re up against.” He throws a look around and shoves his hands on his hips. “Pack a bag, you’re not staying here. The doors are too thin and there’s no security.”

  “Of course there isn’t. Why secure a dump like this?”

  “Stop arguing and start packing.”

  I relent. The tortured flicker in his mesmerizing gaze forces me to forget any words of protest. I go to my bedroom and pull a tattered canvas bag out of the closet.

  The man is worried for me. For me. Crazy. I’ve never had anyone care for my welfare. My aunt tried her best but she wasn’t that interested in me. If she had been, she might have realized her husband was molesting me. After running away, I realized I at least owed her the truth. I wish my aunt and I could have had a better relationship. Her letter told me enough to know she’d left him. I couldn’t go back though. Not after everything. How would she feel if she found out her sister’s daughter had turned to porn in a moment of desperation?

  I stuff some clothes into the bag and stomp past Hunter to grab my make-up and toiletries. He must have done something to my brain. It’s the only reason I’m being so obedient. Or it’s just because he’s right. Whatever is going on, I don’t feel safe. Who better to protect me than Hunter? He said he did security work sometimes. I hope that means he knows what he’s doing. Hopefully once whoever this is realizes he can’t get to me, he’ll lose interest.

  Yes, I like that. That sounds logical. I’m not going with Hunter because I’m dying for his lips on mine again or I’m secretly hoping he’ll take me to bed and help me forget everything. I’m going because this will solve my stalker problems.

  “Ready?”

  I zip up the bag and he eyes it with distaste. He doesn’t need to know I used it when I lived in hostels and never got around to replacing it. Tips don’t exactly stretch to luxury luggage and in spite of what people believe, porn doesn’t pay well when you’re at the bottom of the pile.

  He snatches it from me. “Let’s get you out of here.” His dark demeanour, stiff shoulders and creased brow set me on edge. Is he still annoyed with me or is he really that scared for me?

  And why is he so invested in my welfare?

  His Harley waits outside. Thank God I only packed a small bag. He stuffs it into one of the saddlebags, brow still etched with annoyance. I can’t figure out what I’ve done wrong here.

  Without a word, he motions for me to join him and we head for his place. It doesn’t take us long but the journey leaves me tense and frustrated. I can’t enjoy the sensation of his firm stomach under my hands or the rush of riding on a motorbike. My nerves are frayed but I can’t be sure it’s because someone is trying to harm me. It seems more linked to Hunter’s strange mood swing.

  When we arrive at the Victorian house, he ushers me in without a word. He hands me my bag and I clutch it to me.

  “The spare room is upstairs.”

  I glance up the stairs and chew my lip. I’m so far out of my comfort zone right now, I have no idea what to do.

  “Here I’ll take you.” He stomps upstairs, leaving me no choice but to follow. He flicks on the light and motions me in.

  The small room is neat but much like the rest of the house. Floral. It’s so pink I’m surprised it doesn’t smell sickly sweet. Roses on the curtains, bedding to match, a plush dusky rose carpet topped with an unnecessary rug. The furniture is that cheap white stuff, trimmed with gold.

  “Mam loved flowers.” He shrugs.

  I realize I’ve probably offended him in some way. “No… it’s very nice. Pink, but nice.”

  He gives a mirthless chuckle. “It won’t win any design awards but Mam was an old fashioned lady.”

  That explains a bit about Hunter. He seems like the kind of man brought up on old fashioned values. Perhaps he begrudges those values when his conscience means he has to come to my rescue every ten minutes. I’m so lost with him. One minute he’s got his mouth on my skin and the next he looks like he wishes I wasn’t around. Will I ever forget the sight of him kissing his way over my breasts? Even now the memory leaves me hot and bothered.

  “So…” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’ll give you a moment to get settled. I don’t know if you just want to go to bed. It’s been a long day. There’s spare towels in the bathroom if you want to get a shower.”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty tired.”

  My eyes itch with fatigue but there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep now. Whether it’s the events of the day or being in Hunter’s presence that causes it, I’m not sure but I don’t feel equipped to handle his company any longer. I might do something stupid like fling myself into his arms and with the way he’s looking at me now, I’d be setting myself up for rejection.

  “Okay, well you sort your stuff out and if you need anything…” He backs out of the room without saying anything else.

  I listen to his footsteps retreating downstairs before I release a breath. How did I get myself in this situation? Staying with a man I can’t possibly resist and all the while trying to keep my secret to myself.

  Oh yeah, don’t forget there’s someone out there trying to kill you.

  Could Hunter be right? They were trying to run me over too? In which case, he really did save my life. But why? I pray I’ve just pissed someone off unintentionally and it’s nothing to do with my past. If they know I’m an ex porn star, everything could come unravelled quickly and I don’t want to have to see Hunter’s reaction when he finds out. That’s more than I could bear. It was hard enough with Pete when he found out and when I look back, we weren’t even that deeply involved. We lived together but that was more convenience. He was a student and I was poor. It saved money.

  But I’m not even involved with Hunter. Why should it matter so much what he thinks? I shake my head and begin pulling out my clothes. It’s not just what he thinks, it’s what everyone thinks. I won’t go through that again.

  The top drawer of the chest is empty so I shove my few bits of clothing in there and hang my suit on the back of the door. I grimace. I’ll need to get those creases out before work tomorrow. Hopefully I don’t have to stay long or I’m going to run out of clothes quickly.

  “Jess?”

  I peek to the side to see him standing in the doorway again. I hadn’t even heard him approach. One arm rested against the doorframe, his jacket now discarded, he makes my heart pang. Hunter’s eyes reflect something of a lost puppy sort of look as he gazes at me.

  “Yes?”

  “You okay?” he asks gruffly.

  “Yeah. Fine.”

  “You’ll be safe here.”

  I snort inwardly. Safe from whoever wants to hurt me, sure, but safe from Hunter, or at least the effect he has on me? No way.

  “Didn’t mean to just…” He curses softly and drags a hand through his hair. “Anyway, I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

  “I’m fine.” I force a sunny smile to my face. “Thanks, Hunter, for everything,” I add.

  That sorrowful expression flickers into something else. Remorse perhaps. Does he regret getting involved with me? Rescuing me?

  “No worries.” He hesitates and for one moment I’m convinced he’s going to stride over the threshold and press me back against the bed. My heart sinks when he drops his arm from the door frame and takes a step back. “Well, good night then.” He turns and pauses, peering at me sideways. “You sure you can’t think of a reason this person is after you?”

  “No, I can’t think of anything at all,” I lie.

  Chapter Ten

  Hunter

  With a yawn and a stretch, I stumble into the shower. What a terrible night’s sleep. I swear I could hear Jess’s gentle breaths all night which is nons
ense because there’s no way the walls are that thin. But just knowing she was in bed with only a wall separating us killed me. I spent half the night angry with her for not telling me what’s going on and the other half imagining different scenarios ranging from what might have happened if our kiss in her apartment never got interrupted to more terrifying ones where I didn’t turn up to protect her. Someone trying to harm her still sends bile into my throat.

  I twist on the shower and hiss as cold water hits my back. I hold myself under it in an attempt to wash away the fatigue and confusion until it warms. Jess is lying. That hurts, but not for the right reasons. I want her to trust me enough to tell me what’s going on. It can’t be any coincidence that she has a shady past, happens to be a thief and someone is out to get her. Perhaps she screwed them over in whatever deal she’s got going down?

  Above all I’m pissed at myself for being unable to remain focused. It shouldn’t hurt that she doesn’t trust me. Yes, I’m allowed to be annoyed because it’s making this job harder but it shouldn’t damned hurt.

  I slap a palm against the shower wall and swipe a wet hand over my face. Snatching the shower gel, I scrub vigorously and rinse off. Steam clouds the air as I step out and sling a towel around my waist. I don’t look in the mirror while I brush my teeth. I know what I’ll see. Rings around my eyes and steadily increasing scruff on my jawline. I recall Jess’s nails raking through it and shrug off trimming it, trying not to consider why.

  When I step out of the bathroom, the cooler air of the hallway strikes my skin and I shudder. And there, just outside the door, is Jess, with what looks like no make-up on and tangled hair. The sight of her assaults me in the gut. Dark shadows haunt her eyes and though her golden skin still glows, she has a fragile air to her. Her pale lashes—a dead giveaway of her true colouring—make her eyes wider and I find myself staring down into those green depths.

  At least until her gaze drops. She might as well be touching me for the effect her study has. I grow tense while she skims her gaze down my chest to the edge of the towel and up again. Spots of colour grace her cheeks but she still repeats the action. Guiltily, she drags her gaze to mine and swallows.

  “Mornin’.” I allow myself a grin at her discomfort. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one thrown off balance.

  “Um… morning. I was just going to get wet…” Her eyes round in horror. “That is… I was going to take a shower! I didn’t realize you were all, erm, wet a-and standing there.”

  I step to one side. “Don’t let me stop you.”

  Jess nods. “Right, thanks.”

  In the narrow hallway, she has no choice but to push past me. Her shoulder skims my damp chest and I turn my attention to the sweet little ass encased in tartan print shorts. I’m caught looking when she shuts the door. Her wide eyes flicker with need before she slams it to.

  I allow myself a chuckle. I’m an ass, being amused by her reaction but, damn, the woman’s spent so long torturing me, it’s nice to see her thrown off balance. I just wish it didn’t send a jolt of guilt through me too. I should not be encouraging her.

  After getting dressed into some old jeans and a plain dark blue T-shirt, I head downstairs and force myself not to imagine Jess all slick and wet. Wonder if she’s really wet. Fuck knows, I’m aroused at the mere idea of her showering only feet away from me.

  I make coffee and buttered toast. The scent of strong caffeine and burnt crumbs brings me back to reality. I sit at the dining table and shovel in a slice of toast while I ponder the problem that is Jess. I’ve got so little time left on this job, it’s not even funny. Now she’s in danger. It’s so messed up, you couldn’t make this shit up. One way or another, I need to get to the bottom of this before my time runs out and I lose this house and my business for good.

  When the pad of feet finally sounds, I’m more awake and determined. Her gaze flits from the freshly poured coffee to me and back again.

  “Made you breakfast. Well, sort of breakfast. Sorry, don’t have company much.”

  I eye her slightly crumpled suit and feel a pang of sympathy. The black trousers and white silk shirt make her look so innocent and the creases only add to the affect. It makes me wish I’d never taken this job. I’m dreading bringing her world down around her.

  “Thanks.” She sits opposite, snatches a piece of toast and nibbles uncertainly.

  I shove the mug of coffee toward her. “Milk and sugar right?”

  Jess smiles. My heart flips. “Right.”

  “So listen, I’ll take you to work—”

  “You don’t have to.”

  I stare her down. “It’s too dangerous to be on your own.”

  “Don’t you have a job to do?”

  “Joys of being your own boss.”

  “Are you on a case?”

  Swallowing, I nod. “But I’m going to go and check out your apartment today.”

  “Why?”

  “To see if anything else has happened.” Damn the woman and her questions. “Maybe he’s sent another note.”

  “I don’t see why you need to—”

  “Just… trust me, okay?”

  Jess frowns “I do.”

  The words strike me like a knife to the heart but I continue regardless. “So just leave me your keys and I’ll check it out while I’m working. Also, my friend Mitch is going to meet us at the bank. He’s a bodyguard. I’m going to have him hang around for a bit.” Though I called him last night, I’ve yet to ask him to keep an eye on Jess for any odd behaviour as well. Something that might lead me to the money.

  “Is that really necessary? It all seems a bit much.”

  “You were shot at, Jess. It’s very necessary. Mitch is a highly trained and experienced bodyguard. There’s no one else I trust more with my life.”

  She traces the rim of the coffee cup. “Oh I’m sure he is. I just don’t know how I’m going to explain someone hanging around and following my every move.”

  Is she fighting this because she doesn’t want to be followed, fearing it might get in the way of whatever she’s up to? Or is it just discomfort at the idea of being watched over?

  “Mitch is an expert. You won’t even know he’s there.”

  “I guess I don’t have much choice.”

  “Not if you value your life.”

  She finishes off her slice of toast and I try not stare at those white teeth and sexy lips. To distract myself, I begin clearing the table, fighting the knot of guilt in my gut.

  Jess brings over her coffee cup and plate and I dump them in the sink. “We’d better get going,” I tell her. “Traffic might be bad. Can I get your keys to check your apartment out?” I throw it lightly out there, trying to slide the question in.

  “Yeah, I guess so. I don’t know what you expect to find.” She goes to her handbag now hanging in the hallway.

  Handing me the keys, she swings the bag over her shoulder and stares at me with those guileless eyes. I fold the keys into my palm, the sensation of the metal hot and heavy against my skin. She has no idea I’m trying to bring her down. If she’s truly a criminal, why does it feel so wrong? I shake my head. If she’s innocent, I won’t find anything, right? Either way, I’ve got to find out for sure.

  “What?” she asks.

  “Nothing,” I say gruffly and snap my attention away. “Let’s go.”

  ***

  Mitch is already at the bank by the time I’ve found a place to park and we’ve walked around the front. He gives me a wave and I note his gaze flitting over Jess with interest.

  “Jess, I’m Mitch.” He offers her a hand and takes a far too long shake. “I’ll watch over you today. Make sure nothing happens.”

  I crunch my hands into fists as she flusters slightly under his disarming grin. “I appreciate it, Mitch, but I’m sure nothing will happen.”

  A brow archs. “Gunshots aren’t nothing. Hunter is right to take your safety seriously.” He faces me. “Did you give her my number?”

  I nod, arms fold
ed to resist the temptation to step in and stop Mitch from charming the panties off her. This is how Mitch works. It makes him really good at his job. People instantly trust him—men and women alike—and he can get around anyone when needs be. It doesn’t mean I like him flirting with Jess though. “It’s in your phone,” I tell her. “Put it in earlier.”

  “You were looking at my phone?”

  “Just to put the number in.” She doesn’t need to know I was checking out her messages and contacts too. Not that I found anything. The girl has no friends and there’s no way she’s dumb enough to leave evidence of criminal activity on her phone. “If you need anything, just give Mitch a call.”

  She swings her gaze between us. “Not you?”

  “I need to check out your apartment,” I remind her, “and I’m meant to be working.”

  “Oh, I see. Sorry, of course.” Her forlorn look makes me groan inside.

  “I wouldn’t leave you with Mitch if I didn’t think he could keep you safe.”

  Mitch nods. “This is what I do, Jess. You’ll be perfectly safe with me around.”

  White teeth come out to nibble on her lip. “I know. Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m sure this will all just blow over soon enough.”

  “Let’s hope.” I glance at my watch. “You’d better get going.”

  “Okay, see you later.”

  “Have a good day.” I eye her ass in those tight suit trousers as she goes and sigh.

  “So, this is the girl, huh?” Mitch nudges me.

  “Yeah.”

  “Doesn’t look like a hardened criminal to me.”

  “Yeah, well you haven’t seen her in leather.”

  Mitch’s lips twitch. “I can imagine. But still there’s something about her. She’s scared, Hunter.”

  “So would I be if I stole fifty k,” I snap. I don’t need Mitch questioning me.

  He holds up his hands. “Hey, I’m just saying what I see. It’s your job, man. I just hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

  “Mitch, if I’d have realized what I was getting myself into, I’d never have accepted this job.”

  “Then quit.”