Conflicted: Keegan's Chronicles

by Julia Crane

  Keegan sunk back into the couch. “That’s what happens to me. When I get angry my body starts getting cold and when I get really angry I freeze everyone around me. I thought maybe it was a dark thing since you guys always have a lower body temperature.”

  Her father stared intently at her. “Why am I just hearing about this now?”

  “I don’t know, Dad, why am I just hearing about Rourk leaving?”

  “Fair enough.”

  Creed watched her from across the room. “I have to say that is very interesting, Keegan. I will ask around, maybe someone can help from the side of the dark.”

  “That would be great. I don’t need to attract attention to myself by randomly freezing people.”

  They chatted for a while and then had dinner. Emerald had made chicken breast, rice, and corn and it was surprisingly good. Thaddeus still hadn’t returned from his run. He could spend all day out in the woods.

  Her father left and Keegan sat at the table with her mom and had a cup of hot tea.

  “Mom, you don’t mind Dad being gone all the time? That’s what it would be like for me if I stayed with Rourk. I’m not sure I would like it too much.”

  Her mother looked over and smiled. “I don’t think I could handle it if your father was home all the time. I like having my space. Plus, it makes us miss each other more.”

  “I can see that, I guess.” She leaned back and crossed her arms like a spoiled toddler about to stomp her feet. “Mom, what am I going to do? I’m so confused.”

  “It will all work out. Life is funny. You don’t always take the path you expected to take.” Emerald stood, her mug in hand. “I need to make some phone calls. If you need to talk later you know where to find me.”

  After her mother left, Keegan flipped through the TV channels. Nothing good was on. There were so many crappy shows out. She really didn’t get the interest. Too bad Vampire Diaries wasn’t on, now that was a good show. There was never enough Damon Salvator.

  Keegan looked down at her phone and realized she never replied to Rourk’s text. She quickly typed. Sorry I didn't reply earlier, I was at school. I got your letter.

  Keegan waited for a reply, but it never came.

  Touching her lips she thought of the kiss with Donald. She was so confused. She liked Donald, but she also felt sad about Rourk leaving. Why did things have to get so complicated?

  She felt like she was about to go stir crazy staying in the house. She went up to her room to go through some photos. On an impulse, she looked through the photos of her and Rourk. She did this at random times in the hopes it would bring back some feelings. Sadly, it did not.

  After a couple of hours of manipulating photos, she got ready to go to sleep. She pulled her covers over her head and fell back on the bed. She wasn’t tired. She would probably be up all night going over everything in her head. It was ironic that saving Donald severed her bond to her chosen. Maybe fate really had stepped in.

  Her phone beeped which brought a smile to her face. It was Donald.

  Goodnight, I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

  Ditto, sleep well.

  Chapter 11

  It was early morning when Rourk walked through the doors at the Military Entrance Processing Station. He glanced around and saw many young guys and girls who appeared nervous and unprepared. The building was sterile and drab. The grey walls with the peeling paint reminded him of a prison. In a way, it was.

  They were all at the MEPS to sign away a few years of their lives.

  After signing in, Rourk waited his turn for the medical exam which he passed with flying colors. He already had an 18X slot, so he got to bypass some of the steps. However, it was still a lot of the “hurry up and wait” for which the Army is famous.

  Rourk could have laughed when he was brought into a room and taught how to stand at attention. They obviously didn’t know he’d been going through the motions for several years already. He knew he had more experience than the others, but he just sat back and did what was asked of him, regardless of expertise.

  A young officer went over the Oath of Enlistment with him. Apparently, they were afraid someone might stand incorrectly or not repeat the correct words. It was a joke. After they thought he was fully prepared, they sent him to sign his contract and take the oath. They seemed surprised that he didn’t have any family members there to take his photograph. Whatever.

  It turned out to be a long day, but rather painless. When he walked out the door and felt the crisp air hit him, he thought about Keegan. He wondered what she was doing and if she was angry at him for not seeing her before he left. He hoped he’d made the right decision, because he would not see her again for almost a year. Just the thought of it made physical pain shoot through his body.

  Rourk grabbed a taxi to his run-down hotel and forced himself to move forward. He could do this. He was doing this for her. If his unhappiness is what it took for her to be happy, he would endure the pain.

  Rourk walked in the door of the hovel for which the military was paying and the smell of mildew and cigarette smoke hit him. Great. Oh well, it could always be worse. He hung the do not disturb sign and locked the door, tossed his bag on the stained chair and headed for the shower. The water pressure was pathetic, but at least the water was hot. He turned it on as hot as it would go and just stood there with his eyes closed. Finally, he washed up and got out, and dried off before he walked back out to the room. He wasn’t tired, but knew he would need his sleep.

  He lay in bed and replayed scenes in his mind of Keegan. Her laugh, the way she skipped all over the place, her eyes that he could stare into forever, her hair that was almost always a mess, the way she kissed. He had to stop himself before he drove himself crazy. He took some deep breaths and cleared his mind. Every time she crept back into his mind he pushed it away. After hours of fighting it, he drifted off to sleep.

  Yelling woke him up. He looked at his watch; it was three am. That’s what you get when you stay at a cheap hotel in the ghetto. He didn’t even bother to pay attention to the argument. It was none of his business. He might as well get up. The bus would be there at four to take them to Fort Benning, Georgia. After he did his morning workout, changed clothes, and ate a protein bar, he strolled out to wait for the bus.

  There were a few others already waiting. He looked over the recruits and they all looked tired. One young kid paced around, obviously nervous.

  About twenty minutes later, a bus pulled up and the 30-50 waiting soldiers were on their way to basic training. Rourk walked down the aisle and sat in the first outside seat, next to a skinny boy with blond hair, pale skin, and light blue eyes. The kid started rambling immediately. Rourk wished he had picked another seat.

  “Hey, so are you also going into the 18X program to try out for Special Forces?”

  Rourk looked over at the kid and thought: you have to be kidding me. “Yes.”

  “That’s awesome. It will be nice to already know someone. My name is Tommy, by the way.” He stuck his hand out and Rourk grasped it tightly. He was surprised to see the kid had a firm grip. That usually told a lot about a person. “Rourk.”

  “Rourk? That’s a pretty cool name. Is it your last name or first?”

  “First.”

  “Are you nervous? I’m so nervous I can barely sit still in this seat.”

  “No.”

  “You’re not nervous? How is that even possible?”

  “I’ve trained for this my whole life.”

  “Your whole life? You’re a funny guy.”

  Rourk thought, sure, I’m a laugh a minute. “How long have you been training, Tommy?”

  “On and off for about three months. The last six weeks I finally took serious. I did a lot of running and push-ups.”

  “Did you run with a weighted rucksack?”

  Tommy looked at him like he was crazy. “No, I just ran.”

  This kid doesn’t stand a chance.

  “So Rourk, do you have a girlfriend?” Tommy asked.
“I have one and we plan on getting married once I graduate. Here you want to see a picture?” Tommy scrolled through some pics on his phone and stopped at a pretty girl with brown hair.

  “This is Jessica. We’ve been dating about four months.”

  “She looks nice.”

  “What about you, do you have girl back home?”

  Rourk thought of Keegan and what a mess that was, then replied. “No.” It was no one’s business what went on in his personal life. He wasn’t about to tell his life story to a stranger.

  “That’s too bad, Rourk. Maybe you’ll meet a girl after we’re done training.”

  “I don’t care about girls, Tommy. Right now my sole focus is earning a green beret.”

  “Sure, that would be nice. You still need a girl, though.” Tommy laughed and jovially hit Rourk on the side of his arm.

  Tommy rambled on for another twenty minutes and Rourk just nodded when it seemed appropriate.

  Finally, Rourk leaned his head against the glass and pretended to be asleep. In the darkness behind his eyelids, he tried to locate Keegan, but it was impossible. He missed seeing her. The longer it went on, the more he felt he would do anything to bring their bond back. He tried not to think about her with the shape shifter; it upset him too much.

  Instead, he thought about what lay ahead. He would spend at least sixteen weeks at Fort Benning, Georgia. Nine weeks of initial infantry training, four weeks of advanced individual training, and three weeks of airborne training. That was just the beginning. He wasn’t concerned, although he did feel bad for the kid who sat beside him.

  He must have dozed off, because the next thing he knew the bus had stopped and they were being herded off like a bunch of cattle.

  The screaming started as soon as they got off the bus.

  "Throw your bags in a pile. You guys are pathetic," one of the drill sergeants yelled.

  A few minutes later, a different drill sergeant screamed, "Pick up your shit and you better not get it messed up!"

  It was complete chaos. Rourk stood back and watched as all the recruits ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. One of the drill sergeants yelled at Rourk to grab his stuff, so he just picked up anything and walked over to the line. He had to hide a smile while he watched the others run in circles.

  He had done many such tricks with his own soldiers when he was an instructor for the young boys training for the elfin army. There was no way they could get the right gear. It would be sorted out later. He noticed Tommy looked lost and scared. Rourk walked over to him and handed the kid the gear he held and then told him to get in line.

  “Thanks so much Rourk. I owe you. This shit is scary man.” The poor kid’s face was white and his hands trembled.

  Rourk laughed. “Tommy, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

  Rourk grabbed another set of gear and took his place in line next to Tommy. He’d try to look out for him, at least for a little while. Right now, all that was going on were mind games. It would be interesting to see how many of the guys broke before the week was over.

  When they went to their assigned rooms, Rourk could have laughed when he saw that Tommy had the bunk under his. It’s funny the way life throws someone in your path. That cemented it. He would do everything he could to try to help Tommy make it through this nonsense.

  “Hey, Tommy. Looks like were stuck together for a while.”

  “Rourk, I have never been so happy to see someone in my life,” Tommy answered, clapping Rourk on the shoulder. “Thanks again for your help earlier.”

  “Listen, Tommy, everything they are going to do for the next few weeks is nothing but mind games. They want to break people so they can sort out the weak from the rest. Every time you are scared or don’t think you can make it, remind yourself it’s all mind games. Countless others have made it and so can I. Repeat that to me.”

  Tommy repeated, “It’s all mind games. Countless others have made it and so can I.”

  “That is your mantra for the next few weeks. I want you to say it to yourself before you go to bed, when you wake up, while you eat, and whenever you doubt yourself during the day. When you are being screamed at just look straight ahead and repeat your mantra. Do you understand?”

  “Umm, sure Rourk. If you think it will help. At this point I’m willing to try anything and we’re only at day one. I’m glad you’re my buddy.”

  “Get some sleep. We’ll be woken up before the sun.”

  “Night Rourk, and I meant it man, we are going to find you a girl once we’re out of here.”

  “Goodnight, Tommy.”

  “Rourk didn’t bother to get under his blankets because he knew it would be a waste of time to make up the bed in the morning. He closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep. He inhaled deeply and he swore he could smell a hint of sandalwood and vanilla, Keegan’s smell. He needed to pull himself together. Rourk placed his hand behind his head, closed his eyes and thought about when he would see her again. On her birthday. He wondered if he should give her the present he had planned on or if that would upset her. Maybe he should just find a normal gift instead of giving her something that once belonged to his mother. He could always get her the new lens she wanted. Rourk smiled and pictured her on the rocks in the creek, taking photos.

  It helped him drift off to sleep.

  Chapter 12

  Keegan woke up thinking about Rourk.

  It had been six weeks since he left and it was still hard for her to believe he was gone. She wondered how he was doing and if he had already started basic training. She had a feeling she would not hear from him again until her birthday. The thought made her sad even though she wasn’t sure why.

  Her mood lifted when she thought of the date she had with Donald later that evening. He was so funny. They had been spending a lot of time together, and she hadn’t had an anger incident since the first time in Calvron’s world. It was hard to get angry when Donald was around because he always kept her laughing and he made her feel like the most important person in the world. He was obviously crazy about her and not afraid to show it or let the whole world know.

  They were now officially a couple. She had to admit they did look cute together. Though, there was still a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she wasn’t being fair to Rourk.

  Tonight they were going to go ice-skating. Donald thought it was funny when he told her that if she got angry on the ice, no one would realize. She smiled to herself as she tossed her blankets to the side and crawled out of bed. Checking her phone, she found a couple of texts from Lauren and Anna. They were finally going back to the magical land!

  Keegan was super excited and ran to tell her brother.

  She skidded to a stop at his doorway, not bothering to knock as she threw it open. “Thaddeus, we’re going to the magic land I told you about. Do you want to come? You can even bring Sam. Calvron is not grounded this weekend."

  Thad looked up from his Xbox totally unfazed. “What time are you going?”

  “Around noon.”

  “Sure, I’ll go. Can we pick up Sam on the way?”

  “Of course. You know I love Sammy.”

  Keegan had about two hours to waste so she headed downstairs to see what her parents were up to and play with her younger brother Warrick. She had forgotten her father was gone, so it was just her mom and Warrick. Warrick was in his corner playing with blocks as usual. He was obsessed with those things. When he saw Keegan he jumped and ran squealing into her arms. “Kee-Kee!” She loved that kid.

  “Vroom Vroom.” She ran in circles with him. Warrick giggled. Finally, she let him down which made him unhappy and he screamed at the top of his lungs to show his displeasure. She left him for her mother to deal with.

  What to eat? Keegan opened and closed the cabinet doors but found nothing that looked appealing. “Mom, can you make some french toast and bacon?”

  “Keegan, you need to learn to cook. How are you going to survive college next year?” Emerald was a
t the kitchen table with Warrick in her lap and her laptop open in front of her as she paid bills online.

  Keegan shrugged. “Pizza and canned food.”

  “That’s healthy.” Her mom stood with Warrick on her hip and handed him to Keegan before gathering what she needed to make breakfast.

  “So what are you up to today?”

  “I’m going to take Thad to that magical land Calvron makes up.” She tossed her brother in the air and he had a giggling fit.

  “Really? Well, that’s nice of you to include your brother.” Her mom glanced at her while she cracked the eggs.

  The bacon sizzled on the stove. Keegan loved the smell. “Yeah, it should be fun. I wish you could come see it, but I don’t think adults are allowed.”

  “Too bad you couldn’t take pictures.”

  “Yeah, I asked Calvron and he said they would just show up blank.” Keegan put Warrick in his high chair and got out his favorite snack, Cheerios, which he immediately started tossing on the ground.

  “Magic and modern technologies don’t work well together.”

  “It sucks. How cool would that be to have pictures of that amazing world Calvron created?”

  Emerald dipped the bread slices in the egg mixture as she asked, “Is Calvron still going out with Lauren’s sister?”

  “Yep, they seem to really be into each other. Calvron probably cast a spell on her or something.” Keegan grinned.

  After dropping the french toast in the skillet, her mom turned to face her. “How are things with Donald?” Her voice was nonchalant and her face carefully empty of emotion, but Keegan knew her mother didn’t approve.

  “Fine, we are having tons of fun hanging out. Tonight we’re going ice-skating.”

  “Is it serious?”

  “Mom, it hasn’t even been that long. Who knows what will happen? Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about Rourk.” Keegan could feel the annoyance rising in her.

  Her mother must have noticed too because she changed the subject. “I haven’t seen Lauren and Anna lately. You should invite them over for a sleep-over. We could have a cookout, make S’mores and learn more about their magical abilities.”