Conflicted: Keegan's Chronicles

by Julia Crane

  Later that night, Donald and Keegan decided to go check out the teen hangout. They were having a dance party which of course was right up Donald’s alley. Keegan loved dancing with him even if it was somewhat embarrassing. She thought it was so cute that he really thought he was a good dancer. Her favorite part was when a slow song would come on and he would pull her close. The rest of the room seemed to disappear.

  “I’m so glad you were able to come.” She smiled up at him.

  “Me too. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world.”

  “You are.” Keegan laughed and tiptoed to kiss him.

  ***

  The next morning they docked in Koper, Slovenia, a beautiful little coastal town. It was chilly on the water so they bundled up before they headed out. Keegan pulled on the green sherpa hat she had bought in Nepal that she loved so much, and her new tan mid-length wool coat. Her parents just wanted to go walking and explore the town. Thaddeus and Sam wanted to stay on the boat, big surprise there. They said they wanted to have the arcade to themselves. Her brother was a serious nerd at times.

  Keegan looked around trying to figure out what they should do. “Donald, lets go on the horse drawn carriage. I’ve always wanted to do that.”

  Donald grabbed her hand and they crossed the street to where the woman was standing on the curb, running a brush over one of her horses. “Can we get a ride?”

  “Of course, I can take you around the town if you’d like and we can stop at one of the cafes.” Her English was pretty good.

  Keegan looked up at Donald and smiled. “That sounds amazing!”

  They jumped in and the woman handed them a colorful wool blanket to drape over their legs. Donald wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to his warmth. Keegan rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. “This is the most romantic thing I’ve ever done. It’s like something out of a movie.”

  Donald turned her face towards him and leaned down to kiss her softly. Keegan felt like she was floating on air. She didn’t think she had ever felt so happy.

  The town was beautiful and the cafe was nice and warm. They were friendly, even with the language barrier. Keegan really needed to work on her language skills. All she knew was ciao, which was hello and goodbye in Italian.

  After the cafe, the woman took them by an old castle. It was pretty, but also a little creepy.

  “Would you like to go on a tour of the castle?”

  “Not this time, we just want to stay in the carriage as long as we can.” Keegan smiled at the woman.

  “I understand. Young love is a beautiful thing.”

  Keegan blushed. Were they in love? Keegan wasn’t sure she even knew what it felt like to be in love. Donald squeezed her tighter and ran his hand through her hair, staring deep into her eyes.

  Maybe they were.

  ***

  They next day they got off the cruise in Croatia, another coastal town as lovely as the last. This time, they walked around town with the rest of the family. They stopped at a local cafe and had some pizza. It was really cold out so they didn’t stay off the boat too long. Once back on the ship, Keegan and her mother went and spent some time in the spa.

  “So what do you want to do, the works or just a massage?”

  “Let’s do the works since tonight is the formal dinner.”

  “Ok, but your Dad and I are not going to the dinner. You know Warrick can’t sit through something like that. We’ll be eating at the buffet. I think you and Donald are on your own. You won’t be able to bribe your brother into getting dressed up.”

  The spa receptionist escorted them to the relaxation area. Keegan loved being pampered. She figured her mother was just humoring her since this wasn’t really her thing.

  “I have to admit Donald is a nice boy. I can see why you are interested in him.”

  “Isn’t he so cute, Mom?”

  “He is pretty cute. He’s got the orange hair going for him.” Her mother laughed.

  After spending three hours in the spa, they went back to their rooms to get ready for the formal dining. Keegan loved to dress up. She pulled out her dress and held it up in front of her, spinning around.

  They already did her hair and makeup at the salon so all she had to do was slip into the dress. It was a full length Grecian style dark green flowing dress. Keegan slipped on her heels and checked herself out in the mirror. Her hair was up with a couple of loose curls and her makeup was pretty dramatic, especially in the eyes.

  Keegan made her way to the boys’ room to get Donald. When he opened the door he took a step back. “Whoa, Keegan, just when I think you can’t get any more beautiful you show up looking like this. Wow.”

  “Thank you.” She twirled around and smiled.

  “You are so adorable when you blush from a compliment.”

  “Well, I guess you’ll have to keep giving them to me.”

  “I don’t think that will be a problem.”

  “Ok, let’s go. You know they get cranky when we’re late. I want us to get our pictures taken together too.”

  Their time on the ship passed in a whirlwind of sun, lazy days, and Donald. Keegan couldn’t remember a time when she’d been so happy or at peace. When the time came to return home, she wanted to hold on to him and Italy as long as she could.

  Chapter 18

  As they were getting into their class A military dress uniform, Rourk looked over at Tommy.

  He was seated on his bed, putting on his boots. His face broke into a huge grin. “We made it, man. I wasn’t sure I was going to at times, but thanks to you, we made it.”

  Rourk smiled. “Enjoy the moment, but don’t get too excited. There is still a long journey ahead of us. We still have three weeks left here for airborne before we move on to the big leagues. This will seem like a joke once we start the Special Forces selection process.”

  Tommy went silent a moment as he buttoned his shirt, then cleared his throat. “Rourk, I’m not sure I am cut out to be a green beret.”

  “Nonsense,” Rourk said sharply. “Don’t ever speak like that again around me. Confidence and a positive attitude will take you a long way.”

  “What if they separate us?”

  “That’s a possibility, Tommy, however I have a feeling we’re stuck together through this. Life is funny that way.”

  “I sure hope you’re right.”

  The barracks were filled with activity and excitement was palpable in the air. It brought a smile to Rourk’s face. Human or elfin, soldiers were soldiers. Most were anticipating seeing their family members after so much time apart. Rourk wondered if he would be the only one without anyone. Probably not. Tommy’s parents were coming and he seemed to be happy about that.

  Because of Christmas, they had two weeks off after graduation. Rourk wasn’t sure what he was going to do with his time off. He had debated going home to see Keegan, but he wasn’t sure he could handle the rejection. He had been planning on hiking the Appalachian Trail, eventually. Maybe he’d start that to pass the time.

  When they were all lined up and their uniforms were inspected, the soldiers were sent out to receive their certificate of completion. Rourk stood straight as a rod when they called his name. He was slightly taken aback when they announced he was the Distinguished Honor Graduate. They gave a speech about him being the top of his class and making them proud. Rourk’s eyes scanned the crowd and he was surprised to see his father, Richard, and Thaddeus beaming at him.

  His heart dropped, was Keegan there? He looked around but did not see her anywhere. A wave of sadness washed over him, but he put one foot in front of the other and walked off the stage, hoping his emotions did not show. Everyone clapped and some of the guys chanted “Kavanaugh.”

  Rourk should have felt proud of the accomplishment, but all he could feel was a deep emptiness throughout his body. He wanted to be anywhere else.

  Once Rourk was able, he walked over to see his father. Greg gave him a hug, much to Rourk’s surprise. “I didn’t expect to see
you guys here.”

  “As if we would miss this day. You make me proud.” His father’s voice was gruff, as if he were trying to hide his emotions. Rourk thought the gray at his dad’s temples was a little more prominent against the rest of his dark hair than it had been before he left.

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  Richard stepped forward and extended his hand which Rourk shook firmly. Thaddeus did the same. Rourk noticed how much taller the kid had gotten in the weeks since he’d seen him last. “It was nice of you guys to come. I’m sure you are busy.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, of course we are here. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. We’ll be there when you receive your green beret as well.”

  “That means a lot.” He found himself unconsciously glancing around for Keegan.

  Richard noticed and said gently, “I’m sorry Rourk. She is not here. We did not even tell her we were coming. Emerald thought it was best.”

  “I understand. How is she?”

  Richard and Thaddeus exchanged a glance before the elder man said, “She is fine. Typical Keegan. We recently returned from a trip so she’s settling back in at school.”

  “Rourk, is this your family?” Tommy came up behind Rourk and put his arm around his shoulder, breaking the gloomy moment.

  “Yes, these are family friends Richard and Thaddeus, and this is my father, Greg.” As Rourk introduced them, Tommy leaned forward to shake their hands jovially. “Guys, this is Tommy. He’s been my bunk mate the last nine weeks.”

  “Rourk, your dad looks like an action figure,” Tommy joked, causing them all to laugh. Greg’s brilliant blue eyes sparkled merrily. Turning back to Rourk, Tommy pointed his thumb over his shoulder. “I want you to meet my parents, if that’s ok?”

  “Of course, Tommy. I’ll be right back,” Rourk told his father before striding off with his friend.

  Richard nudged Greg with his elbow as the two boys walked away, Tommy’s hand clasped to Rourk’s shoulder companionably. “It’s unusual for Rourk to make friends. Let alone with a human.”

  “I was thinking the same thing.”

  Thaddeus shifted on his feet. “I had a vision when Tommy approached us. If he had not met Rourk, his life would have ended shortly. Rourk changed his fate.”

  “Well, then I guess it’s a good thing Rourk finally made a friend.” Greg stared off at his son who was being introduced to a harmless looking human family.

  There was a cookout of sorts for the newly graduated soldiers, but Rourk just wanted to leave. When he returned from meeting Tommy’s family, he grabbed his bag and they headed to the hotel. They were staying at a Crown Plaza so the room was clean and smelled good. It felt like paradise compared to the barracks.

  “I’m going to get a shower before we go out to eat,” he told his father. Greg just nodded, waving to him absently as he entered his own room.

  Rourk tossed his bag on the chair and walked into the bathroom. He leaned his head against the wall of the shower and let the hot water ease his muscles. If only it was that easy to ease the pain in his chest. He closed his eyes and tried to picture Keegan’s face and, of course, all he saw was darkness. At least he could take some comfort in the fact that she wasn’t given the option of coming. He would hate to know she turned down the chance to see him.

  It was hard to believe Christmas was right around the corner. Everyone was excited to have the time off. Rourk just saw it as a delay. He wanted it all to be over with.

  As he rinsed off under the stream of water, he realized he hadn’t gotten Keegan a gift for Christmas yet. Maybe the other men wouldn’t mind stopping at a mall so he could send something home with Richard.

  He had already decided he wasn’t going to go home.

  Rourk was relieved to be out of the uniform and in civilian clothes again. He grabbed his coat, winter cap and headed to his father’s room, where he called Richard to meet them in the lobby. The food at the military base left a lot to be desired. Rourk wanted steak and potatoes, so they went to a local steakhouse.

  “So Rourk, are you coming back home during your break?” Richard asked, looking at him over the glass.

  “No, I’m going to stay here. I’ve been thinking of hiking the Appalachian Trail. I’ll just start in Georgia, and head north for the two weeks. Once it’s time to come back I’ll grab a flight back from wherever I end up, which should be near Virginia. I need some time to think. As you well know, it’s easier to think in the woods.”

  “Would you like company Rourk? I am due for some time off,” his father said.

  This startled Rourk. His father never wanted to spend time with him anymore. He’d rather be alone, but he couldn’t turn down his father. “I would like your company, Father.”

  “We’ll have to make a trip to an outdoors store. I didn’t bring the correct gear.”

  “I wanted to stop and get Keegan a present anyway.”

  “I wish we could join you but I don’t think my mom would be too happy if we missed Christmas.” Thaddeus laughed.

  After they ate, they went to a mall and Rourk found a camera shop. He knew Keegan had a Nikon, but that was all he knew. He asked what lens was the best, and the clerk showed him three different ones. He got them all. He had nothing else to spend his money on.

  The mall didn’t have a decent outdoor store so they headed to the nearest REI. His dad bought the gear that was required to go hiking in cold weather. Rourk was starting to look forward to spending time with his father. It had been a long time since they had done anything together. As a young boy they always went on long hiking trips together.

  The next morning Richard and Thaddeus left for home. They took the easy way and used magic. Rourk had given them Keegan’s presents to put under the tree, signing the box Rourk and leaving it at that. He didn’t know what to say to her.

  Rourk was impatient to go. After they had seen their companions off, he turned to his father. “Want to head out, Dad?”

  “Sure, might as well get an early start. Let’s go grab some breakfast, and then we will get our gear and go.” His father smiled warmly at Rourk.

  Rourk took out his GPS and found the nearest opening to the trail as they were walking down to the hotel buffet. “We shouldn’t have to worry about seeing too many people at this time of the year.”

  “I’m sure there were will be a few hard-core hikers out.”

  Sure enough, they did pass a few guys along the way.

  At one point as they were trudging up a hill through ankle deep snow, Rourk said, “I’m glad you decided to come with me, Dad.”

  Greg nodded, his hiking stick striking the ground as the crunching of their footsteps filled the silence. “Me too. It’s been too long. I know I have been distant since your mother passed away. After the battle in Ireland, I did some deep thinking. I have missed out on so much since your mother died. I need to get back into the real world. I know I will be with her again when it is my time.”

  Rourk looked over at his father, surprised that he was being so open. “I’m glad to hear that, Dad.”

  They continued hiking in silence.

  After a while Rourk broke the silence once more. “Have you seen Keegan?”

  “No, son, I’m sorry but I have not. I don’t really get out other than going to work.”

  “Do you think I should give her mom’s ring for her birthday like all chosen do?”

  Greg seemed lost in his thoughts for several minutes as he tried to form an answer. Rourk waited patiently, watching his breath fog in the cold air until his dad finally answered. “I’m not sure that is a good idea. Maybe you should talk to her first and see what her thoughts are on the whole matter. It might be too much for her to handle, and you don’t want to push her away.”

  “That’s what I was thinking. I just wish this had never happened.” Rourk kicked the ground with his boot.

  “Don’t give up. Hopefully, it sorts itself out.”

  “I hope so. Although, it’s not looking too good at the moment.�
��

  His father put his arm around his shoulder. “I wish there was something I could do.”

  They hiked the full two weeks together. The weather was freezing, but neither seemed to notice. They mostly hiked in silence, but when they did talk it was never idle chit chat. Their words always had meaning.

  When it was time to say goodbye, Rourk was sad to see his father go, but he was happy to have spent so much time with him. He really hoped that his father had meant it when he said he was going to try to enjoy life more.

  Chapter 19

  Her grandmother must have been over, because Keegan woke up to the smell of gingerbread.

  Jumping out of bed, she was filled with excitement that it was Christmas. Who doesn’t love presents? She thought with a smile.

  She found it hard to believe time had passed so quickly. Keegan looked down and grinned, wiggling her toes in her footed polar bear pajamas. Ever since she was a little girl, her mother had given them Christmas pj’s to wear to bed every year on Christmas Eve.

  She stretched, went to the bathroom, and then headed downstairs. Halfway down, she realized she forgot her camera so she ran back up to grab it. Once downstairs, she skidded across the wooden floor laughing.

  Her father always went out to the woods, and picked the biggest, fattest tree he could find. He outdid himself this year—it was almost touching the ceiling. They had spent a full day decorating it. Even though they lived out in the middle of the woods, and no one could to see them, he also went crazy with lights for the outside of the house. Her father always went over the top for Christmas.

  Thaddeus was lounging on the couch in his hooded sweatshirt and new pj pants. He had been given black flannel pants covered in reindeer with strings of lights around their antlers. “Waiting on you as usual, Keegan.”

  “Well, I’m here now. Let’s open some presents. I see Warrick already got started.” He was playing with a box and had the wrapping paper covering his head. He was a little clown. She snapped a picture.