Hold On

by Samantha Young

  I’d given Susan my number and email and asked her to keep me up to date but only if she felt like it. The truth was I was melancholy leaving them because I wanted everything to turn out all right for them, and it was just one of those horrible occasions when it never really would. I knew because I’d been through it. You moved on with your life but it was always just that little bit empty. That was what it was to be human. To keep living, to find happiness, but doing it always being just that little bit sad because loss was inevitable.

  I crossed the car park toward the lodge, toward Gray, knowing that I’d lose him eventually. But I didn’t want it to be now, or tomorrow, or ten years from now, or even fifty.

  I wanted it to be after a lifetime of happiness together, when its inevitability was natural and right, and we were hopefully holding hands in bed together in our nineties, drifting off peacefully in our sleep.

  Hurrying, I almost slipped, and marveled that it was my first almost graceless fall since I’d collided with Gray on the slopes. And oh, what a story to tell our kids! That Mummy took Daddy down on a ski slope, then accidentally kneed him in the junk and thankfully won his heart despite that.

  I didn’t know how it would work but I couldn’t wait to tell Gray that it was going to work.

  Catching sight of Jeanette at reception, I practically rushed her to ask if she’d seen Gray.

  She grinned knowingly at me. Everyone at the lodge knew about our romance. It would have been a miracle if they didn’t, considering we spent almost every available second attached at the hip.

  “He told me to tell you he has the infinity pool all to himself, if you want to join him there.”

  A tingle awakened between my legs just at the thought. What a treat. The heated jacuzzi pool was small, half-moon shaped, and built into a balcony that jutted out from the lodge over the mountains. When you sat in it and stared out of the edge, you felt like you were floating over the snow.

  I had never moved so fast in my life, hurrying back to my room to change into my bikini and robe. Not forgetting the baked goods, I practically sprinted to the spa, which had a closed sign on it, and slipped inside. It was weird being there when it was empty, but Gray had left some lighting on for me, lighting that acted as a guide toward the outdoor area.

  The balcony was dimly light and I saw his silhouette in the pool. He had his arms crossed on the ledge, staring thoughtfully out at the mountains. I opened the door, drawing his gaze, and made quick work of slipping out of my robe and slippers and lowering myself into the heat of the pool, out of the freezing cold air. I grabbed the cakes off the ground and bobbed toward him with the container in my hand.

  Gray grinned, reaching an arm out to pull me toward him. He relieved me of the container with his other.

  “How did you swing this?” I asked.

  “Jacob gave me the key. Though he said if we had sex in this pool he’d kill me.”

  I burst out laughing, and it was soon muffled in Gray’s long, luxurious kiss. I smiled as we settled at the edge of the pool and he opened the container.

  Watching in delight and anticipation as he bit into my frosted cupcake, I leaned closer for his reaction. His gaze flicked to me as he ate and made a ‘yummy’ face. I grinned harder. After he swallowed he said, “Angel, fuck, you can bake.”

  “That’s just a cupcake. Wait until you taste my chocolate hazelnut cake.”

  His eyes lit at the prospect.

  And I continued, my breath puffing in the cold air between us, “And you will. I hope you’ll be tasting my cakes until we’re old and decrepit.”

  Gray was about to take another bite of cupcake but stopped. Instead his mouth formed a gorgeous, crooked smile. “You mean that?”

  “I mean that. I don’t know how we’re going to do it but we have to find a way.”

  “Six months in Montana, six months in Scotland,” he offered immediately. “Best of both worlds.”

  Tears of happiness immediately rushed my eyes before I could stop them. “You’d do that?”

  “If you’ll do it for me, I’ll do it for you. And it’s not like it’s a hardship, angel. If Scotland’s half as beautiful as you, I’ll be happy.”

  I threw my arms around him, knocking the container out of his hand and into the water, but I didn’t care. Kissing the life out of him, tasting cupcake and frosting, I knew I’d never been happier in my whole life. I didn’t think it was possible to be this ecstatic.

  His arms closed tight around me and soon our kiss turned to more. His hands were everywhere, cupping and caressing my breasts, sliding between my legs.

  “You’re on the pill, right?”

  “Right,” I murmured in a sex haze. “But why?”

  “I’m clean. You?”

  “Hmm, yeah, why?”

  He nudged my bikini bottoms out of the way and suddenly thrust inside me. I gasped in pleasure and shock.

  “I thought… no sex,” I panted.

  “Angel, there’s cupcake and brownie crap all over the bottom of this pool. If it needs to be cleaned anyway…” He pumped into me harder to make his point.

  And that night we made a memory I’ll never forget. Gray making love to me with the dark snowy Montana mountain as our backdrop. We came together, in a harmony that fit the moment perfectly and as I clung to the man I loved, he brushed his lips against my ear and whispered, “You owe me a cupcake.”

  I laughed because he was funny… but mostly because that’s all I ever wanted to do now that he was mine. Love, sex, laugh.

  Heaven.

  Epilogue

  Snow Ghost Lodge

  Eighteen Months Later

  It was August, the slopes were closed and wouldn’t open until skiing season restarted in November, but the stunning Snow Ghost Lodge was open to a private event.

  A small but beautifully organized wedding. Even if, as the wedding planner, I did say so myself.

  Since it was my wedding I could get away with it.

  I thought I’d feel nervous on my wedding day but my butterflies were excited ones because I couldn’t wait to change my name to Autumn King. Couldn’t. Freaking. Wait!

  The last eighteen months had been a challenge but one that Gray and I overcame with the ease of two people who loved each other enough to make anything work. I’d extended my holiday by a week in Montana to meet his parents and his brother Noah. Thankfully, they liked me. Like a lot. It came as no surprise that Gray’s family was as loving as he was.

  The hard part came when Gray decided to come back to Scotland with me to meet Killian and Skylar.

  Killian did not make it easy at first, but he soon came to admire Gray’s straight-talking. He pretty much told Killian in front of me and Skylar that he loved me, I loved him, and if Killian loved me as much as he was supposed to he’d get over his shit and give Gray a chance.

  It was exactly the right thing to say to my brother and thanks to Skylar, who had turned him into a romantic even if he wouldn’t admit it, Killian gave Gray a chance. We stayed for a month before it was time to head back to Montana for Gray’s work. During that month Killian proposed to Skylar and I was content in the knowledge that I didn’t miss out on that moment.

  However, the idea of me moving to the US did not go down well with Killian. In fact, our relationship became a little strained when I moved to Montana. Gray had to work overtime to help me adjust to my new life.

  I busied myself setting up my new event management company—something that was not easy to get off the ground but I worked my arse off and with a little help from Susan and word of mouth, I started to get work and my portfolio began to grow. Skylar got Killian on a plane and they spent a month with us that May. They flew over a couple more times during the summer and between that and video chatting I didn’t feel like I was missing out too badly. Over time, Killian realized the depth of Gray’s love for me and that he had a good family who showed me a lot of love, too, and the strain between us disappeared.

  Come November, Gray and I fle
w back to Glasgow but we didn’t stay for six months. I had my company now and so did Gray, and the truth was that Killian and Skylar could move to Timbuktu and I’d never lose them. No matter where we were, we had each other.

  Gray and I stayed in Glasgow all through Christmas (something that didn’t go down well with his family and was one of the aforementioned challenges we had to face) and the month of January. In early February, I stood beside Skylar as her maid of honor as she and Killian married in secret in Loch Lomond. Only me, Gray, our friend Eve who used to work for Killian, Skylar’s ex bandmates Brandon and Austin and their respective dates, and her manager Gayle attended. Her other ex-bandmate and just plain old ex, Micah, declined to attend for obvious reasons.

  The press didn’t find out about their marriage until four weeks later when Skylar and Killian were spotted by paparazzi in Los Angeles wearing wedding bands.

  After my brother’s private wedding, Gray and I headed home to the US. Gray got in some skiing time before the slopes closed and I returned to planning events, including our own wedding.

  I should note that Gray proposed to me the day after we arrived back in Montana a year before Skylar and Killian’s wedding. Of course I said yes, but while Gray wanted to get married right away, I wanted my brother to be truly happy for me before I asked him to walk me down the aisle.

  I needed him to know he was doing the right thing by giving me away to Gray.

  Gray understood but it still annoyed him and he wasn’t good at hiding his impatience for the next sixteen months.

  Turning to look up at my brother as the entrance song started up beyond the double doors, I squeezed his arm. “You look nervous. You know you’re doing the right thing.”

  Killian stared down at me. To the outside world his expression seemed remote. But I saw a million emotions in the dark brown eyes so like my own. “I know,” he said, his voice low, hoarse. “I’d have kidnapped you and taken you back to Glasgow by now if I didn’t know that.” He covered my beautifully manicured hand resting on his arm. “No one deserves you, kid. No one. But Gray comes pretty damn close. That’ll just have to do for me.”

  I smiled through happy tears. “I love you, big brother.”

  Watching him fight emotion, he nodded, his reply gruff, “Love you more.”

  The doors swung open slowly, revealing the dining room now turned into a ceremony room. We hadn’t invited tons of guests, just friends and family from Cunningham Falls and a few from back home in Glasgow.

  Every third chair on either side of the aisle was decorated with a white candle in a modern, square lantern. They echoed the simplicity of the rest of the décor. Soft, elegant, and earthy. At the top of the aisle I saw the officiant and Skylar and Catie in different bridesmaid gowns in the same color of cobalt blue to match Gray’s eyes. Their dresses also matched the groom’s and his best man’s bow ties.

  Gray’s brother, Noah, stood at his side but my eyes only flickered to him before they moved back to my husband-to-be.

  I would never forget the way he looked in his tux, not just because he was sexy as heck, but because of the expression in his eyes as he wore it watching my brother walk me down the aisle toward him.

  A few years ago I’d witnessed my brother fall in love with Skylar Finch and, as happy as I was for them both, I’d felt sad for myself because I never believed I’d find a man who looked at me the way Killian looked at Skylar.

  But Fate had smiled on me when I decided to go on the last trip I’d ever thought I’d take—a skiing trip!

  Wearing a pair of skis, I’d knocked Gray on his arse, literally, and only a few hours later, in his words, I’d done it wearing a pair of sky-high heels, only this time it was figuratively. Emotionally.

  Gray didn’t look at me like Killian looked at Skylar. He couldn’t. Their love was theirs, ours was ours. He looked at me in a different way but it made me feel how I hoped Skylar felt when Killian looked at her.

  It made me feel like the only woman in the world worth looking at.

  It made me feel like I was Gray’s entire world.

  It made me feel that way because I was his entire world.

  And he was mine.

  Killian had barely brought us to the bottom of the aisle when Gray stepped forward to impatiently claim me. My brother rolled his eyes but released me to take his seat, and I laughed softly as Gray pulled me into him.

  I had to hold my bouquet out to Skylar without turning to her because Gray wouldn’t let me go. And as we said our vows in front of our friends and family in the room I’d walked into all those months ago, catching Gray’s heart without even saying a word, I knew he never would.

  * * * *

  “Gray, where are we going?” I laughed as I practically had to run to keep up with him, the skirt of my wedding dress clutched tightly in my free hand.

  He didn’t answer.

  “Gray? We have photos to take and guests to keep entertained while they turn the ceremony room back into a dining room!”

  Suddenly he stopped, catching me against him as I stumbled in my blue Jimmy Choos. “Gray!”

  He flashed me a wicked grin and swiped a room key over the door we’d stopped in front of.

  It was my old suite. The suite we’d booked for our wedding night.

  “Gray, no!” But it was too late.

  I found myself hauled into the room, and the door slammed shut behind us. He clasped me to him and kissed the life out of me as I tried to offer protest. It was a feeble attempt and he knew it as he pushed me up against the wall and fumbled under my skirts.

  “We can’t do this. This is for later,” I moaned between kisses. “Guests, Gray.”

  “Angel, you want me sporting wood in our wedding photos?”

  “Negatory.”

  “That’s what I thought,” he mumbled, pressing kisses down my neck as he peeled my knickers down under my dress. “And the only way to solve that problem is to fuck my wife.” He growled after he said that. “My wife. Jesus, that sounds good.”

  Apparently very good because our first time together as husband and wife happened right there, against the wall, in the exact same spot we first had sex.

  I was really enjoying the symmetry of our wedding.

  Flushing as Gray helped me get cleaned and straightened up, I shook my head at him. “Everyone will know where we went and why.”

  He shrugged, taking hold of my hand to lead me back out of the suite. “Who cares? Let them know. You know what I know?”

  “What?” I asked as he wrapped his arm around me to draw me into his side.

  “What we have is fucking beautiful. Not in my life did I ever think I’d love or need or want my wife as much as I love, need, and want you. You’d been unlucky, angel, for a long time, but it never stopped you from taking a gamble on life. You gambled on me when you promised me you’d keep holding on. And you gotta know by now that I’m going to make sure that gamble pays off and pays off good every day for the rest of your life.”

  I slid my hand up his chest to caress his cheek. “You should have said that in your vows.”

  “No. No one gets that but you.” He kissed me, not having to lower his head since I was wearing my standard five-inch heels. Not surprisingly with how raw our emotions were, the kiss turned hungry.

  “Oh for Christ sake.” My brother’s voice interrupted us and we pulled apart to find him standing up ahead with his arms crossed over his chest. He glared at Gray. “Can you keep your hands off my wee sister long enough to let the photographer take usable photos?”

  Gray smirked, leading us toward Killian. “My wife.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “My wife.”

  Understanding, Killian scowled. “She’s still my wee sister.”

  “Not when my tongue’s in her mouth,” Gray replied with no small amount of smugness.

  I burst out laughing at Killian’s affronted expression and grabbed his arm to lead the three of us back toward our guests and photographer. “You wa
lked into that one, Kill.”

  He harrumphed but his expression softened as he studied me. “You look happy.”

  “Bliss,” I replied, beaming.

  My brother’s gaze drifted from my face to across the room as we walked back through the double doors to the ceremony/dining room. His dark eyes stopped on Skylar, who turned upon our entrance. She looked stunning in blue. And Killian’s gaze said he thought so, too. As their eyes held, their expressions said a lot more than that.

  “Aye,” he murmured and I knew it was in response to what I’d said.

  And that made my joy even more joyful, knowing he felt that way about Skylar.

  Killian and I may have had it easy financially, but everything else in life that actually mattered was something we’d fought for. Love had not been easy for either of us and we’d both lived with a loneliness that unfortunately our love for one another could never really take away.

  Yet here we were with our soul mates and luckier than most people ever got to be.

  All because we decided to hold on.

  And hold on tight.

  Killian let go of me to walk across the room to Skylar, drawing her into his arms as she chatted animatedly with Catie and Kyle. She wrapped hers around his and leaned back into his chest.

  I turned into my husband, catching sight of the photographer heading toward us out of the corner of my eyes and grinned up at him as I recalled words he’d said to me when we first discussed the amazing, wondrous connection between us. “Someone needs to discover the formula and bottle this shit so everyone can get a piece of the good life.”

  Gray’s eyes brightened and I knew he remembered when he gave my waist an answering squeeze. “You’re lucky you’re sweet and beautiful, angel, or this next part would be torture.”

  Suffice it to say that for such a handsome specimen of man, Gray did not like getting his photograph taken. We turned as the photographer caught up to us and I murmured so only my husband could hear, “It’ll be over before you know it. Just hold on.”

  He turned to me. I knew in that moment I was the only person in the room as he promised, “Always, angel. Always.”