Lindsay's Legacy

by Jones, Janice

  Keva released her embrace on Lindsay and simply held her by both shoulders, staring at her directly in the eyes. “Nay-Nay, come on now. You know better than this. Nothing good is going to come from you wallowing in self-pity or in the pain of the past. No amount of sorrow-filled words can change the outcome of your life’s previous events. I need you to start speaking new life into your present situation. I need you to trust God. Start praying, saying, and believing that Cody will come back and that the two of you will work through this because God has ordained your marriage. You hold the power of life and death in your tongue, Nay. Use that power for good.”

  Lindsay returned Keva’s stare while allowing her words to softly, but purposefully, sink into her spirit. She dried her tears and determined in that instant that she would take control of this mess with her husband with prayer and positivity. She knew also at that very moment that God was with her and wanted to bless her.

  “Keva, I know I can never replace Shyanne in my heart or in my life, but I am praising God right now for sending you to me to help me get through this. You are being a wonderful friend and sister in Christ. My debt to you is really big.”

  It was Lindsay who reached for Keva this time and hugged her gratefully. She did not shed a tear because she fully understood that God was infusing strength into her through Keva.

  “Lindsay, and forgive me for using your given name, but, Lindsay, I am honored to be your friend and to serve God in this way by being here for you. It’s my way of glorifying Him for forgiving me for all the messes I have made in my life, including all that transpired between us when we met in that old life. You owe me nothing, girl. The chance to make things different between us is payment enough.” The two women shared a smile that forged a bond that would from that point on seal a lifelong friendship.

  Keva left to go home when Cheval called her cell phone to let her know he had arrived. She had to rush and get ready for her own church service while Lindsay did the same for herself and her children. Just before leaving, Lindsay prayed that she would see her husband when she arrived at church.

  Cody woke up with a headache the size of the Detroit River. His mouth was dry, and he felt as if he had a hole in the center of his chest. The hotel room was cold despite the heat blowing from the vent over the bed and the fact that he was still fully clothed. Once he rented the room, he came right in and fell across the bed.

  Last night had been one of the worst evenings of Cody’s life. Never in a million years could he have imagined that he could be hurt like this by the woman he loved more than air. For a long time he loved her more than he loved God, at least until he knew better. But with God only having a slight edge over his wife, he loved her fiercely. He would have sworn to Jesus Himself that his love for her was also unconditional. Wow.

  Cody sat up on the bed contemplating whether he was going to go to church. He knew Lindsay would be there, expecting, hoping, to see him there. He knew his baby well. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure he was emotionally prepared to see her just yet.

  Cody thought back to the very first time he laid eyes on Lindsay Westbrook Taylor. She was married to one of his best-paying clients. Shaun kept his practice thriving, even though he had not had any personal legal troubles. At least not until the day Cody met his beautiful wife. One minute she was looking into his eyes, her attraction to him obvious. He’d seen the look in the eyes of many of his clients’ wives and girlfriends. The next thing he knew, she was throwing up on his shoes. He chuckled as he thought about her humiliation afterward. By the time he left her home later that evening, he was pretty smitten by his client’s wife.

  Cody wrestled with himself for several months about the attraction he had for Lindsay Taylor. Professional ethics wasn’t really his concern. After all, he represented the biggest drug dealers in the city of Detroit. No. It was that he was never the type of man who would intentionally go after another man’s woman, even though the opportunities presented themselves to him constantly. There was something about Lindsay, though, something on the inside of her that drew him in and caused him to want to cherish her for life. From day one, Cody had thought her to be perfect; at least until the confession last night.

  He knew he still loved her with all his heart, knew that he would probably always love her until God removed his heart from his chest. But he felt as if he could never trust her again. Her deception and her decision not to tell him about the abortion were brutal on his soul.

  He tried to see things from her perspective. He tried to understand that she had to be in great turmoil once she found out she was carrying his child while she was still married to Shaun. But the only thing he could feel was the hurt that crushed his heart the day she told him she didn’t love him, told him that she loved her husband and that no matter how badly he treated her, she would always love him. She told him that while she was carrying his child, unbeknownst to them both at that time.

  Cody felt as if he had given all of himself to Lindsay from the very beginning, at a time when she could only offer him a part of herself. But he accepted what she offered until she pulled it away. But still he loved her. He loved her from a distance, but with no less intensity. When he heard about Shyanne’s murder, he almost died too thinking about the heartache Lindsay had to be enduring. He loved her then, not knowing how she already put into effect the events that would lead him to the hotel room last night.

  And even still, he loved her. He loved her, but he wasn’t ready to see her. He could not go to church.

  While getting dressed, Sha’Ron contemplated his decision to meet his sister and brother at church. Finding out from Shauntae what church they attended seemed almost too easy. All he had to do was ask in very casual conversation while they were hanging out the other day. But to use her to get a line on her moms was probably not a good look.

  On the other hand, he realized a man has got to do what a man has got to do. And make no mistake about it; he was going to be the man that took his former stepmom down for killing his parents.

  Sha’Ron had not set foot in a church since his father’s funeral. His mom’s funeral, which was a week after his dad’s, was at a mortuary. He didn’t remember going to church before his dad’s funeral either. So going to the so-called house of the Lord was new for him. But he was going to make sure he looked good. He was going to look the part of a regular churchgoing young man. He did not want to stand out.

  Sha’Ron prided himself on being a stylish dresser. His swag on the streets among his peers was unmatched. He was not about to drop a step because he was going to a church. So he carefully chose a black Sean John two-piece suit, an outfit purchased specifically for the funeral of a seventeen-year-old young hood who Sha’Ron had hung out with. He paired the suit with a tan button-down Rocawear shirt, a black-and-caramel-colored tie, not the clip-on either, and a pair of tan Tims. A quick once-over in his full-length mirror on the back of his bedroom door confirmed that he was going to be able to pull off the church-boy look.

  Sha’Ron stopped by his grandmother’s bedroom to let her know he was leaving.

  “Grandma, I’m going out for a while. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

  “Where you going, boy?”

  “Church.”

  “Church? What you going to church for? Is there a funeral on Sunday?”

  Patricia began an uncontrollable coughing fit after having strung so many syllables together at one time. Sha’Ron reached for her water glass and found it empty. He hurried to the kitchen to refill it, then rushed back to the bedroom to help his grandmother.

  “Here, Grandma. Drink this.”

  Patricia attempted to sit up and take the glass from Sha’Ron but she was coughing so hard she dropped the glass and spilled water all over the bed before it was completely in her grasp.

  Sha’Ron became visibly agitated. His grandmother’s mess was going to possibly make him late since he had to now get her into dry pajamas and change the sheets on the bed. His plan was to be standing in the entryw
ay of the church awaiting the arrival of his siblings, his former stepmom, and her husband. He wanted to startle Lindsay, give her a moment of pause. He had not told Li’l Shaun or Shauntae of his intention to join them for church, so everyone was sure to be surprised. Now his plan was going to be ruined because he would not be able to get there early.

  Sha’Ron lifted his grandmother’s weak and wet body from her bed and sat her in the chair beside it.

  “Hey, Nephew. What’s up? What you all dressed up for?”

  Sha’Ron had never been so glad to see his aunt Tameeka in his short life. Her entrance into his grandmother’s bedroom almost made him want to fall to his knees and thank God.

  “Auntie Meek. I’m so glad to see you’re here. Grand just spilled water all over herself and the bed. Can you get her changed? I’m on my way to church, and I don’t want to be late.”

  “Church! Boy, when did you start going to church?” Tameeka questioned with a frown on her face.

  “I’m just going today with Li’l Shaun and Shauntae. Can you take care of Grandma for me?”

  “Li’l Shaun and Shauntae? What about they mama? Is she gon’ be there?” Tameeka continued to question her nephew while she began doing as he asked with her mother.

  “I want to know the same thing, Sha’Ron. Is ... that ... heffa gon’ ... be there? If she ... is, I outta go ... too ... so I can ... knock her ... upside ... her head.” Again, Patricia spoke between coughs.

  Sha’Ron went to replenish the glass of water while Tameeka lowered her mother back into the chair.

  “Sha’Ron, how you gon’ be around the stupid chick that killed yo’ mama and daddy and not go off, in a church, no less?”

  Sha’Ron knew he couldn’t tell his aunt or grandmother about his plan to eventually kill Lindsay, although the two of them probably wouldn’t give too much resistance. Still he knew that it would be best to keep his and Uncle Bobby’s plan a secret for now. So he had to think quickly to keep the two ladies from tripping.

  “No. That whack chick won’t be there. That’s why my little brother and sister asked me to come. They said their moms was out of town with their grandma. Cody is bringing the kids to church.”

  “Humph. Like Mama said, maybe she should be there so I can go and give her a royal beat down.”

  Sha’Ron was happy that his aunt and grandmother believed him without asking any additional questions. “Well, she won’t be there, so don’t worry about it. I gotta go so I can get there on time. Thanks, Auntie, for taking care of Grandma.”

  “Hold up one second, Sha’Ron.” Tameeka left her mother’s bedroom on Sha’Ron’s heels as he headed for the front door. “I wouldn’t mind seeing my little niece and nephew soon. See if you can hook that up with White Boy, all right?”

  Sha’Ron nodded his consent as he raced out the door. He drove swiftly to the church, exceeding the speed limit by at least ten miles, hoping he didn’t run into any police. The last thing he needed was to be further delayed by a cop writing him a ticket. He was still hoping to get to the church before his evil ex-stepmom.

  The parking lot was crowded, which meant the church was already filling up with people. Sha’Ron could only hope Lindsay was like most women; always running late. He parked his car in the closest spot he could find and speed walked across the parking lot.

  Sha’Ron got inside the church and found a spot in the modest-sized narthex that would give him a great view of everyone that crossed the church’s threshold. People were coming in constantly, and Sha’Ron kept his eyes glued to those double doors. He peered so diligently that he didn’t notice the middle-aged woman who approached him on his left side.

  “Hello, young man. Such a handsome face, yet I don’t recognize you. I would remember seeing someone as good looking as yourself. Are you a visitor here at Tribe of Judah Baptist Church?”

  Sha’Ron diverted his eyes long enough for him to answer the woman. “Yes, ma’am.” He quickly turned back to the entrance.

  “Are you here with your parents?”

  At the mention of his parents, Sha’Ron focused more intently on the woman speaking to him. While he knew she had no idea of the impact her question had on him, he stared at her through squinted eyes that spoke of anger. He pondered her question, realizing that it was the absence of his parents that had him stalking his ex-stepmom in a church lobby.

  “No. I’m all alone,” Sha’Ron answered grimly.

  Neither Sha’Ron’s tone nor his demeanor went unnoticed by Sister Blakely, the church’s head greeter, but she continued talking to the sullen stranger in an effort to welcome him to their church. “Well, young man, you are never alone when you walk with Jesus. What’s your name, handsome?”

  “Sha’Ron!” Li’l Shaun squealed as he ran to his big brother.

  Shauntae joined her little brother in greeting their oldest sibling. “Hey, Sha’Ron. What are you doing here? You didn’t tell us you were coming to our church today.”

  “Well, now, by using a little deductive reasoning, I’m going to venture to guess that your name is Sha’Ron.” Sister Blakely laughed at her own joke.

  “Mrs. Blakely, this is our brother Sha’Ron. I guess he has decided to pay us a surprise visit today,” Shauntae supplied for the greeter.

  Mrs. Blakely eyed both Shauntae and Sha’Ron a little suspiciously. She was unaware of the two children having any additional siblings. She knew that Lindsay was newly married, however. Perhaps this young man was Cody’s son, although I can’t visibly see any Italian features in him, she thought to herself. She then looked at Lindsay to see if she was going to offer any explanation. All she saw there, though, was fear and confusion.

  “Okay.” Mrs. Blakely announced, mystified. “Now that your family is here, I’ll leave you in their capable hands. You all have a great time in service.” To Lindsay directly, she said, “It’s nice to see you, Nay-Nay.” She then headed in the direction of the sanctuary.

  Seeing Shauntae and Shaun beam in their brother’s presence made Lindsay’s heart leap. She was glad her children enjoyed being around their brother so much. Seeing Sha’Ron made her heart hesitate. While her kids were obviously quite comfortable around him, she was anything but. The mixed emotions she experienced made her heart temporarily forget its ache for her estranged husband.

  Lindsay cautiously approached the area where her children stood with Sha’Ron. She felt as if her tongue were glued to the roof of her mouth and all other empty spaces inside her mouth were filled with cotton balls. She could not speak for the life of her. She had no clue about what she could or should say to Sha’Ron.

  “Hello, Sha’Ron. Glad to have you with us today. Have you seen Cody since you’ve been here?” She was amazed at even herself to have found something to say. Her question brought back her heartache.

  “No.” His answer was abrupt, rude; filled with contempt.

  Lindsay was somewhat startled but not totally surprised by Sha’Ron’s anger. While she was awaiting his response, she had formulated in her mind the intention to ask him to sit with her and the kids. Now, however, she knew that was probably the last thing he wanted to hear come out of her mouth.

  “Shauntae, Li’l Shaun, come on and let’s get ourselves seated.” Lindsay eyed Sha’Ron warily for another second; then she headed toward the sanctuary, expecting the kids to immediately follow behind her.

  “Mom, can we sit with Sha’Ron today since he came to visit?” Shauntae could feel the understandable tension between her mother and her big brother. So insisting that Sha’Ron sit with them, she knew, was not a good idea.

  Lindsay stopped in her tracks and turned to face her daughter. At that moment she also saw the face of Sha’Ron. She, without a doubt, saw unmasked hatred in his eyes as he faced her down.

  Lindsay’s first thought was to deny her daughter’s request. But she just as quickly realized Sha’Ron’s anger was directed at her, not her children.

  “Okay. That’s fine. But after service, I want you to meet me righ
t here in the narthex, understand?”

  Both kids agreed before pulling Sha’Ron by the arm into the sanctuary. Before giving his siblings his full attention, however, he gave Lindsay one final glare.

  The menacing grimace he shot at her made Lindsay want to reconsider her decision to allow the kids to sit with him. But again, her reasoning revealed that Sha’Ron had good cause to be upset with her. So she would not punish the kids for the bad blood between her and their brother. She then decided to focus her energies elsewhere, like finding her husband here in the church.

  Lindsay sat in the pew wallowing in disappointment after she finally allowed herself to accept that Cody was not there. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had skipped church service today to avoid seeing her. She was so miserable that she barely heard a word of Pastor Adams’s sermon. Couple her misery with her concern for her children being with Sha’Ron, a young man who visibly despised her, and her mind was a virtual wasteland for worry. Lindsay was so caught up in her own troubles that she did not even realize that Pastor Adams had given the benediction.

  “Nay-Nay, girl, how you doing? How is your mama doing? That’s right. She out in Phoenix. Well, what about that handsome husband of yours. Where is he today? And where are your babies?”

  “Hi, Ms. Clara. The children are here. They are sitting with their ... uh ... with a friend. And Cody had to ... uh ... work today.”

  “Oh. Okay. Well, you and your family have a blessed rest of the day.” Ms. Clara smiled and departed.

  Lindsay looked up to find several other members coming her way. She really wanted to avoid them so that she could make her way back to the children. She still felt ill at ease with them being around Sha’Ron today. She was also concerned with folks asking her about Cody’s absence. She didn’t want to continue to tell lies, but she could never let anyone at church know that Cody had left her; especially so soon into their marriage.