The Shadows Between Us
Page 30
“You could have let me die,” he says. “You could have let Leandros—I mean, Xanthos—kill me and then ruled as queen with him. But you didn’t. You killed him. You killed for me.
“But I knew before then. I was hurt, yes, but I was going to come back for you right before Xanthos approached me. I was in my mother’s sitting room, because I tried to imagine a future where that room wouldn’t be yours, and I couldn’t.”
He rises then, keeping my hands clasped in his. “I was scared. I was so scared to trust anyone, and I hurt you as a result. I said things I shouldn’t have. And I’m so unbelievably sorry, Alessandra.”
Before I can get in a word, he’s jerking his hands away and struggling to reach for something in the pocket of his jacket.
In an unusual bit of clumsiness, he drops a letter onto the floor and scoops down to retrieve it. “You never read this. I started it right after the night I read Orrin’s letter to you. I realized that words can be so hard to find when spoken aloud in the moment. But writing? It gives me the time to articulate just what I feel. I was too much of a coward to read it to you before. But I’m going to now.
“My Alessandra,
“All the poets in all the world could write odes to your beauty. You are lovely, stunningly beautiful. Even a fool could see it.
“But that is not what drew me to you. It was your eyes. It was the way you didn’t look at me that made me realize you are special. You didn’t look at me like I was a king, someone to be respected and worshipped. You looked on me as a man. A man who says foolish things and makes terrible decisions. You made me remember what it is to be human.
“I’d forgotten. Having spent a full year with no one to touch, no one to talk to—it was you who reminded me what it is to live.
“Your eyes spoke of a mind that loves to tease and loves to win. But they also showed me your heart, one that could be so reserved but ready to love if I could only earn it.
“I haven’t earned it. I will never earn it. I could spend a million years trying to worship you, and I still wouldn’t be worthy of you.
“But I’m desperate for you all the same. And though I will not have millennia to live, I want to give however many years I have left to you. Because I love you. I love the woman who saved me. And though she doesn’t need me, I want her. Fiercely.
“All the time in the world is worth nothing if I don’t get to spend it with you.
“Forever yours, Kallias.”
When done reading, Kallias folds the letter back up methodically, taking his time, scared to look up, I think.
“Why did it take you so long to come see me?” I ask, keeping the emotion from my voice.
He shrugs and laughs uncomfortably. “I was a mess. I thought I might have a better chance of you taking me back if my face weren’t all beat up.”
I let a hand slide against one cheek, resting my palm there. “I couldn’t care less how your face looks.”
I feel the pull of muscle as his lips twitch. “No?”
“I do like it when it’s healthy and beautiful, but it is not why I love you.”
His breath hitches as he says, “The money and power help, too.”
“It is what originally caught my interest, but I lose interest in everything sooner or later. Everything save you. Because in you, I found my match. In you, I found my equal.”
Kallias, my Shadow King, grabs me, pulls me into his arms. “I love you, Alessandra. What can I say to make you forgive me and take me back?”
“Words only mean so much. Actions speak far louder, don’t you think?”
“I do.”
He lowers his head, brushes my lips with his.
And we start our new life together. Never to be alone again.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
LET’S TRY FOR SHORT and sweet this time around! I have so many people to thank for their help with this one!
Rachel Brooks: Thank you for being you! You’re so on top of everything all the time. I couldn’t have asked for a better agent. I’m so glad you have my back for every step of the process!
Holly West: Thank you for getting as excited about this project as I was when I first pitched it! You really helped me shape it into what it is now. I couldn’t have done it without your enthusiasm.
Jean Feiwel: We’ve never met or spoken, but thank you for allowing Holly to keep buying my books! (And special thanks for approving this idea!)
Nekro: Thank you for another stunning cover! I’m still drooling over your work!
Liz Dresner: Thanks for all the design magic you work on my books!
Erica Ferguson and Starr Baer: Thanks for all the copyedits!
Charlie N. Holmberg: Thank you for being my critique partner! I’m so glad to have you. I rest easier knowing you read my work before I send it anywhere else.
Cale Dietrich: You are the best! Thank you for reading this one early and providing helpful feedback!
Caitlyn Hair and Mikki Helmer: Thank you for the lunches and brainstorming sessions! I’m so grateful for your friendship!
Bridget Howard: You’re a great cheerleader and friend and photo-taking badass!
Taralyn Johnson: Sorry you had to skip over the sexy parts, but thank you for reading this anyway!
My family: Mom, Dad, Becki, Johnny, and Alisa, thanks for continuing to support me and show up to my book events. It’s always nice to know you’re out there rooting for me.
My fans: Thanks for sticking with me for another book! Or if you’re picking up my work for the first time, thanks for joining us! It’s you who make it possible for me to keep writing. A million thank-yous! I’ll see if I can work in extra kissing scenes in my next book just for you.
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ALSO BY TRICIA LEVENSELLER
Daughter of the Pirate King
Daughter of the Siren Queen
Warrior of the Wild
PRAISE FOR
TRICIA LEVENSELLER
“One of my favorite YA books ever. The action! The world-building! The voice! This book kicks so much ass.”
—CALE DIETRICH, author of The Love Interest, on Warrior of the Wild
“Levenseller presents a fully rounded portrait of a girl whose strength in battle is tempered by her very human anxieties. Rasmira’s quest is thrilling, her emotional journey compelling; this adventure sings.”
—BOOKLIST on Warrior of the Wild
“This high-octane novel is filled with mythical creatures and showcases a heroine who wants to be a warrior, a woman, and a leader.”
—SCHOOL LIBRARY JOURNAL on Warrior of the Wild
“The real gratification lies in Rasmira’s transformation from broken, betrayed girl to resourceful, confident victor. Her final clash with the god is heart pounding, and her triumph in front of her village and father is satisfyingly righteous.”
—THE BULLETIN OF THE CENTER FOR CHILDREN’S BOOKS on Warrior of the Wild
“Levenseller has created a formidable female character who can take care of herself as she makes some hard decisions.”
—SCHOOL LIBRARY JOURNAL on Daughter of the Pirate King
“With a cunning plot, robust writing, and complicated characters, any
reader will enjoy being manipulated in Levenseller’s capable hands.”
—ANNA BANKS, author of the New York Times bestseller Of Triton, on Daughter of the Pirate King
* “Levenseller makes an impressive debut with this funny, fast-paced, and romance-dashed nautical fantasy, set in an alternate world of pirates, sirens, and myriad islands … This one’s not to be missed.”
—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY on Daughter of the Pirate King, starred review
“Tricia Levenseller’s vivacious debut novel, the first in a duology, boasts stormy seas, sexy pirates, swordplay and a heroine who conquers all three with aplomb … A rip-roaring high seas escapade with a tinge of fantasy, Daughter of the Pirate King will engage and enthrall its teen audience.”
—SHELF AWARENESS on Daughter of the Pirate King
“[Levenseller’s] words will pull you in, and there’s no escaping them.”
—CHARLIE N. HOLMBERG, author of the Paper Magician Series, on Daughter of the Siren Queen
“Fiercer and wittier than ever!”
—ELLY BLAKE, New York Times–bestselling author of Frostblood, on Daughter of the Siren Queen
“Levenseller comes into her own … penning an argh-worthy blend of pirate derring-do and lively romance.”
—BOOKLIST on Daughter of the Siren Queen
“The author has yet again captured the adventure, romance, and ruthless ways of the high seas … This fast-moving adventure with strong female characters would be great for those who love a good pirate story, a touch of romance, and action-packed sword fighting.”
—SCHOOL LIBRARY JOURNAL on Daughter of the Siren Queen
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Tricia Levenseller, author of Daughter of the Pirate King; its sequel, Daughter of the Siren Queen; and Warrior of the Wild, is from a small town in Oregon, but now lives next to the Rocky Mountains in Utah with her bossy dog, Rosy. She received her degree in English language and editing, and she is thrilled that she never has to read a textbook again. When she’s not writing or reading, Tricia enjoys putting together jigsaw puzzles, playing volleyball, and watching her favorite TV shows while eating extra-buttered popcorn. You can sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Acknowledgements
Also by Tricia Levenseller
Praise for Tricia Levenseller
About the Author
Copyright
Copyright © 2020 by Tricia Levenseller
A FEIWEL AND FRIENDS BOOK
An imprint of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC
120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271
fiercereads.com
All rights reserved.
Feiwel and Friends logo designed by Filomena Tuosto
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Levenseller, Tricia, author.
Title: The shadows between us / Tricia Levenseller.
Description: First edition.|New York: Feiwel and Friends, 2020.|Summary: Eighteen-year-old Alessandra Stathos, the second daughter of a minor nobleman, makes a plan to seduce, marry, and kill the king, then rule the world, and only love can stop her.
Identifiers: LCCN 2019018601|ISBN 9781250189967 (hardcover)
Subjects:|CYAC: Fantasy.|Ambition—Fiction.|Kings, queens, rulers, etc.—Fiction.|Love—Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.L4858 Sh 2020|DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019018601
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First hardcover edition 2020
eBook edition February 2020
eISBN 9781250189974