But he wasn’t breathing on his own.
“I bet he’s not that quiet normally,” said the nurse from behind him.
Roman jolted at her voice, tried to still his racing heart. “He’s not.”
“It looks worse than it is,” she assured. “Once he’s taken off the sedative, we’ll pull the breathing tube. It’s a precaution as much as anything.”
“But you don’t know when that will be.”
“Not for sure, no. We’re keeping him sedated so his body can heal. When the swelling in his brain has come down enough, we’ll take him off the medication and pull the breathing tube. He’s strong, though. He will come back.”
“Kid’s had a hard life, but he’s got guts.”
“He must have. That was a terrible beating.” Then she studied Roman too closely for his peace of mind. “Say, aren’t you the one who brought him in? I was coming off shift that night, and I remember seeing you carry him in.”
Uncomfortable with the praise, Roman only shrugged.
“He would have died without you, Dr. Evans said.”
“I have to go.” He turned.
“Sorry. I don’t mean to make you self-conscious. You’re one of those, huh? Reluctant heroes? Don’t need the credit?”
“I’m no hero,” he said sharply.
“Okay, okay. Have it your way.” She paused. “Listen, I don’t want to ask anything you’re not up for, but—”
He exhaled. “But what?” He desperately wanted out of here.
“Just…” She lifted one shoulder. “It might help him if you’d talk to him some. Let him hear your voice, since it’s familiar. That woman who stayed with him the first night hasn’t been back since the day after, and I don’t know why. There’s a cop who’s dropped in a couple of times, but…” She hesitated. “Having someone with them helps their recovery. We see it all the time. I think of it as an anchor for them to this world.” She rolled her eyes. “Probably sounds stupid.”
He really looked at the nurse then. She had some of Jenna’s fresh beauty, her spark. She was someone who believed in the good. “Not stupid.” He drew in a steadying breath. “I’ll try.” Though he was more than ready to be gone, if it would help the boy, he’d do his best.
“It doesn’t matter what you say to him, I mean, it doesn’t have to be profound. Just the sound of your voice and the touch of your hand, it makes a difference, I swear. I’ll give you some privacy.”
He heard her footsteps going away. Before she was outside, he spoke up. “The woman? She would be here if she could, but she—” His throat got tight. “She’s been hurt.”
A pause. “I’m sorry for that. Tell her we’re taking good care of him for her, then.”
Not likely Roman would have the chance to do that.
But he still nodded.
Then he took the last step to the bed. “Freddie,” he said in a suddenly rough voice. He cleared his throat. “Listen, I know you’re hurt and waking up will be a bitch.” He recalled that sensation all too well, awakening in a world where pain ruled and nothing made sense. “But here’s the thing—Jenna needs you to get better. Mako’s—” His hand clenched on the railing. “He can’t hurt you now.” His mind clamored with shouts and screams and the feel of flesh giving way and the barely registered impact of bone against bone.
Roman shook his head hard to dislodge the melee. “You’re in a safe place.” But where would he be when he opened his eyes? When he was well enough to leave? Jenna had had illusions that she would get custody of him, but surely that took time, even if she were in any shape to do so.
Which she wasn’t.
He thought of Abuela’s house, sitting there empty. He had room, yes, but who the hell would let him take this boy home?
So what could he tell this kid who desperately didn’t want to be sent to a foster home with strangers? Roman had no power to change that, and he couldn’t make the boy into a fugitive, even if he were any kind of option himself.
His knuckles were white on the bed rail, he realized, and forced himself to relax them.
Once he would have been secure in knowing that Jenna would have answers for all those questions, would have Freddie’s fate securely in her hands…but now?
She didn’t need that pressure. One look at her last night had told him she was mere inches from breaking.
“Sir?” said the nurse from the doorway. “I’m sorry. Visiting hours are over.”
Roman put his hand on Freddie’s, careful not to disturb the IV taped to the back of it. “You’re not alone, Freddie,” he said, though mostly he was lying through his teeth. He was no answer and Jenna couldn’t be one. He had no solutions.
What he wanted to do was steal her away. Shield her from ever being harmed again. That wasn’t possible, but maybe there was another thing he could do for Jenna.
He’d get in touch with Vince. First he’d let the detective ream Roman out as much as he wanted, then, whenever the guy ran out of steam, Roman would start asking questions about what was happening with the social workers. See if there was anything he could do to help Freddie.
“Sir, I’m sorry, but—”
Roman nodded and squeezed Freddie’s hand lightly. “Hang in there, kid.”
Blessed Mother, watch over the small ones, he prayed to the Virgin, as Abuela would have.
Then he left.
* * *
JENNA PROWLED HER BEDROOM in the darkness. She’d tried to sleep, but however hard she worked at it, sleep wasn’t possible. Every time she closed her eyes…
She just couldn’t. The attack…the fear. Though that wasn’t all of it. She was worried about Roman. And Freddie.
Freddie was in good hands, she knew that. Medical professionals monitored his every breath, the slightest change in him. But no one could predict what shape he’d be in when he awoke.
And Roman? He’d rescued her, taken care of her. Defended her, gotten her help. She’d never felt safer than when she’d been curled up in his arms.
Who was watching over him? When she had so many people ready to do her slightest bidding, prepared to accomplish whatever she needed, who took care of Roman?
It’s my fault. I did this, Jenna.
Yes, she’d heard from Vince about how Roman had sought out Mako’s minions and dared Mako to show himself after what he’d done to Freddie. But why did he think he should have anticipated Mako coming after her? It was Mako who was messed up, Mako who was violent and enjoyed being cruel.
Roman was none of those.
She didn’t blame him for what had happened to her.
But clearly he blamed himself.
She thought back to his expression as Ray and Fayrene had spoken of his grandmother and sung his praises. What had happened to him in Iraq? What burdens did he bear?
My spirit was so troubled and I was so ashamed.
She’d told Diego she wouldn’t pry. Roman’s past was only her business if he allowed it to be, and thus far he had done everything possible to keep himself apart from others.
Yet she knew—she knew—there was such goodness in him.
Come to me, Roman, she called out silently. Talk to me. Jenna looked out her window into the star-scattered night, wishing she could see the first star again.
She would make a wish on it this time.
Bring him back to me. Please bring him back.
And please…please keep him safe.
She turned again on the path of her pacing. One careful step after another, she walked her bedroom through a night that seemed fated never to end.
* * *
ROMAN’S POST ALLOWED him a glimpse of the windows that he was pretty sure were hers. Though his muscles had cramped from sitting so long, still he didn’t move.
He’d seen a figure pass
the windows. Though she didn’t turn on the light, the ghostly white of her nightgown gave her away. He was all too familiar with sleepless nights, how they went on forever.
He could cross over to her. Most of her family had left. Only her parents remained in the house, and their bedroom was on the other side, he thought.
He could be as close as a window screen. Press his hand to the metal weave. Feel her warmth from the other side.
And maybe in the darkness he could confess all the reasons she should welcome his departure, should insist that he leave and never return.
That’s how it would go if there were any justice.
But he yearned to pick her up again, cradle her in his lap. Wrap his arms around her as tightly as she could wish. Press her head to his chest and bend his own over hers.
And whisper softly why he so very, very much wanted her. She was so kind. So sweet. So vulnerable. So trusting.
Every one of those was one more reason he would leave her where she was, just as soon as dawn rose.
But for now he would wait and he would watch. He would be the sentry, the line of defense he’d failed to provide on that one night that would scar her forever.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“EVERYONE NEEDS TO GO HOME,” Jenna said the next morning. She’d finally fallen into a troubled sleep and then slept too late. Now it was nearly noon and the troops had gathered again, all of them busy people, all of them with lives they’d interrupted to circle the wagons around her. “And I need to get back to work.”
Protests bubbled up, boiled over.
“Sunshine, you’re not well yet.”
“I’m fine, Dad. Just fine.”
“You just got out of the hospital,” Zane protested.
She rolled her eyes. “Only because my family insisted I stay in the hospital. Besides, aren’t you in the middle of a film? What’s this costing the production every day you’re missing?”
“That’s not the point,” Zane grumbled.
“It is the point. Sophie, I know you have someone learning to manage the hotel, but you’re getting married. You’ll be gone for three weeks on your honeymoon. Surely you have a list a mile long of things to be done before then.”
“I’ll help her.” Cade’s jaw muscle clenched.
“You’re finishing Jaime’s book.” She turned to Diego. “How many patients have come into the clinic while you’ve been here?”
He only arched one eyebrow. “Caroline can go back without me.”
“Mama Lalita is there alone, when you normally drop by to check on her every day. She’s ninety-three years old. I’m barely thirty.” She looked to her mother, pleading.
Her mother’s gaze narrowed, and she did that mother scan.
Increasingly desperate to be alone, Jenna clung to every ounce of resolution she could muster.
Even though a part of her was terrified at the prospect of them leaving.
At last her mother spoke. “She’s right, everyone has work to do.”
“I’m not finished with the window I was replacing,” blustered her father.
Grace said, “I see six grown men who can help.” But her sharp gaze arrowed in on Jenna as if still assessing.
I’ll be okay, Mom, Jenna mouthed.
She would be. She had to be. People went through much worse than being knocked around.
Grace simply let her eyes survey the room, that because I said so finely plucked maternal eyebrow lifted.
“Well, boys, I guess you have your orders,” said Roan, Zane’s wife, rising from her chair. “Meanwhile, there’s a ton of food to be portioned out and stuck in the freezer for later.”
Jenna opened her refrigerator and groaned. “I couldn’t eat this in a million years. Delilah and Chloe, please take some of this home, since you live here in town. Let’s figure out what we can bundle up and take to the homeless shelter.” Which reminded her of Freddie. “Vince?”
He stopped on his way out the door. “Yeah?”
“Have you heard from your CPS contact?”
He winced. “Yeah…about that. Jen, it’s not going to be easy for you to get custody of Freddie. They really have a problem with you being a single woman and him being a teenage boy.”
“That’s just wrong. It’s sexist.”
He rolled his eyes. “He’s half your age and taller. He lives in a violent world. He needs more supervision than you can provide.”
“But—”
“I didn’t say I’d given up, but don’t kid yourself. It’s not going to be easy, and there’s no way to make this happen before he’s released from the hospital. If we didn’t already have two girls fostered with us, in addition to our brood, I’d volunteer, but—”
“I appreciate that. Maybe there’s enough time for me to get through the approval process, though. He could be in the hospital for a bit yet, right, Caroline?”
Her surgeon sister-in-law Caroline shook her head. “Tough to say at this point. I’ve checked with the docs I know from when I worked at Mercy. If there is brain damage, he could be in a rehab situation for quite a while.”
“Oh, no.” Jenna pressed her fingers to her mouth, imagining the lively Freddie’s light dimmed. “Is that likely?”
“There’s no way to be sure yet. But if he winds up with special needs, that’s yet another mark against you. You have a full-time job that consumes you already. How would you take care of him?”
JD was studying her, and she looked back. If she took his job offer, she’d be adding traveling to her schedule.
She jutted her chin. “I’d manage. He’s terrified of going to foster care. Something happened to him there before.” Urgency gripped her. “I have to be at the hospital with him.”
“Not yet,” said her mother firmly. “He’s in good hands you said, Caroline?”
“Absolutely.”
“But what about someone holding his hand or talking to him? The night nurse said that would help.”
“I’m still dropping by,” Vince said, then cleared his throat. “And apparently Roman is, too.”
Jenna went still. Roman was looking after Freddie, yet he wouldn’t come near her. That hurt.
But so be it. “What about Damien?” she asked. At the puzzled expressions, she explained to the others. “Freddie has a little brother, half brother, actually. He’s not an orphan, but from what Freddie told Roman, he’s been taking care of Damien whenever the boy’s mother pulls a disappearing act.” She frowned. “I ran into her. It’s not hard to imagine that she’s neglecting him.”
“Ran into her?” Cade questioned.
She glared at him. “I was looking for Freddie. I went over there.”
“Do we want to know where?” Cade pressed her.
“Probably not.” She didn’t back down.
“Jenna had CPS open a case on Damien,” Vince said. “And she promised to butt out of it after that,” he reminded her. “I’ll get CPS’s reports, and we’ll see what develops. Just being aware that she’s being watched may make his mother straighten up.”
“I have contacts at CPS, as well,” Chloe said. “I’ll put in a word.”
“As will I,” JD offered. “Relax for now, kiddo. Let us help.”
She subsided. She was sore and weary, and she knew each of them was as good as his word. “You are all amazing,” Jenna said, her heart squeezing. “You drop everything and come to help me, and you’d do this for Freddie and his little brother just because…”
“Because we’re family,” Jesse said. “It’s what families do.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“SUNSHINE, WE’RE SUPPOSED TO be back in two weeks, anyway, for the wedding. Why don’t we just stay?” Her father had Jenna tucked under his arm as they sat on her porch swing a little while lat
er.
She longed to crawl into his lap as she had when she was a little girl. He was a big, bluff, hearty man whose shoulders had always seemed as broad as the world. Now his sons matched him in height and he had slowed some with age, but she knew to her bones that he would slay armies for her sake.
It was all she could do not to lay her head on his broad chest and weep. Beg him to stay or to take her home with him as he so badly wanted to do.
But that would be letting Mako win.
And her father would never stop worrying about her living alone then.
So Jenna stifled her tears. Became his Sunshine once again. “I’m fine, Dad.”
“You’re not. How could you be?” He shook his head. “I’m sure not.”
From somewhere she found the strength to rise from his side and settle in his lap, not like a little girl but as someone who could offer solace. She put her arms around his shoulders. He needed comfort as badly as she did. Needed desperately to be reassured that he wasn’t abandoning his little girl to a world he’d never trusted with her in the first place.
She pressed the side of her head to his. “You made me strong, Dad. You still do. I’m sure to the depths of my soul that you will be here the second I need you, no matter how far you had to travel, no matter what you had to do.” She couldn’t stop one hot tear from trickling down her cheek.
He gripped her with his formidable strength. “That’s right, baby girl. You know I will.” His voice came out choked with the emotion he seldom revealed. To the world, Hal MacAllister was a cheerful man, a tower of strength, someone who had a good word for everyone. But he’d carved a ranch out of hostile land and made it succeed through the sweat of his brow and the unyielding determination she had inherited. He’d met the widowed Grace Montalvo, who’d sworn never to marry again, and he’d convinced her to love him, to bring three more children into this world while treating her two boys as his own.
He was the best father, the best man she’d ever met. “You’re my hero, you know. You always were.”
For a moment they clung to each other, each reluctant to part. Jenna was aware that for him to leave, he had to truly believe she was all right, and she wasn’t sure where she would find the strength to prove it.
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