The Better Man

by Len Webster

  The Rosenberg was a famous restaurant for the elite. Not a place Savannah should be dining at. However, Walter insisted on paying, just as he had insisted on paying for her plane ticket to New York. She had made a note of how much the ticket was and added it to her debt list. It wasn’t a handout. Though she knew he wouldn’t care about the cost, Savannah did. She didn’t want to owe anyone—especially Walter—anything, and she was determined to pay him back.

  As she sat and ate with him, it felt like old times. Times when his alcoholism wasn’t killing them both. When they were young, new, and exciting. Now they were crippled, dull, and struggling. They both had scars. Walter had been drinking his away, and Savannah was masking hers with tape. Tape that lost its strength with time because the stitches hurt more than the slices he made throughout her body.

  “So have you thought about AA?”

  Walter almost spat out the water he had been drinking. Savannah had been proud when he had asked for ice water as his beverage of choice. She had seen him eye those around them who had fancy wine with their steaks. She knew it would take time for him to get used to being around alcohol, but Savannah had hoped his desire to better himself would ensure he overcame his struggles.

  He grasped his napkin and dabbed his lips with it. “Want to be any fucking louder, Savannah? The public can’t know.”

  She flinched at his sudden mood change. He had been the one who suggested possible group therapy. To find the source of his alcoholism. But how was she supposed to help when he kept dismissing her?

  “Maybe the public should know.”

  Walter leaned forward. “That I played drunk for the Bucks most of the time? Use your damn head. They will question my urine samples. It would be a scandal.”

  “Urine samples?” she breathed.

  He swallowed hard and then looked around to make sure no one was listening. “Yeah, they were all faked.”

  Her jaw dropped. “Faked?”

  “Yeah,” he admitted. “The Bucks found out and wanted me to stop lying and demanded that I quit drinking. I told them to fuck off and walked out.”

  She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe how far gone he was. That he was using other urine samples instead of his own.

  “Walter, you could—”

  “I know,” he murmured. “You can’t tell anyone, Savannah.”

  She shook her head. “I won’t.” It was not her place to tell. She feared the repercussion if she did. All she wanted to do was make sure he was on the right track before she returned to Vermont.

  Relief lightened his gray eyes. They weren’t as light as they once had been, but they were still beautiful. “That makes me happy. Savannah, you being here makes me so happy. I want to be better for you, baby. I want your love.”

  He wants my love …

  He reached over and grasped her hand. His touch felt off yet warm at the same time. It felt like memories were trying to sway her. Convince her that this was right. That he was right. That his love was all she’d ever need. “Walter, can we just focus on you getting better?”

  “Focus on me getting better?” He raised his voice at her, putting the spotlight on them as he pulled his hand from hers. He shook his head with disbelief. “Is that it? Is that the only reason you came to New York?”

  Savannah glanced around to discover people whispering. “What other reason is there?”

  He laughed bitterly. “That you love me!”

  “That’s not fair,” she whispered. “Especially when you don’t love me.”

  “Why do I have to say the words?” he seethed as he got up from the chair, making a scene. “Why does it always have to be about love with you? It was sex, Savannah! Just sex!”

  Her heart gave up.

  It was the last straw.

  The last confirmation she needed that Walter Vidović was never going to love her, and she was wasting her time and energy.

  Before Savannah could even speak, their waiter returned to their table. “Is there a problem here?”

  “No,” Walter said, dismissing his outburst. Then he sat down and looked up at their waiter. “Can I have a bottle of your best whiskey?”

  “Of course,” the waiter said before he left their table.

  Savannah stared at him. She couldn’t believe he had just ordered alcohol in front of her. He had promised to stop, yet again, he lied to her. He wasn’t going to help himself. Tears stung her eyes before they fell down her cheeks. She felt so betrayed. He had never hurt her more than at this moment. Because she believed him, and he manipulated her to come to New York under false pretenses.

  Not anymore.

  Grasping her purse from the table, she stood. “I can’t believe you just did that.”

  “Did what?”

  “You just ordered whiskey in front of me after you said you would stop.”

  He stared at her, and with little emotion on his face and in his voice, he said, “You’re not worth it, Savannah.”

  No.

  No, I’m not.

  She grasped her jacket from behind her chair. “No, and neither are you,” she acknowledged, holding back her tears.

  “Don’t expect me to come home to you.”

  Slipping on the jacket, she shook her head at him. “Don’t worry, Walter. I wouldn’t hold my breath. I can’t help you if you can’t help yourself. You lied to get me here. You used my foolish love for you against me. Don’t expect me to love you after this.”

  He smirked. “A goddamn blessing.”

  She wanted to slap him. She wanted to yell at him. But she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

  “Yeah, a goddamn blessing,” she muttered before she left him with his soon arriving bottle of whiskey and got out of the restaurant.

  Savannah stood on the busy sidewalk and felt it all collapse. The strength she held onto for years had vanished. His final cuts were the end of her. In a foreign city, Savannah let New York witness her tears.

  Because love wasn’t enough to save her and Walter.

  It wasn’t enough to make it worth the excruciating pain.

  Savannah didn’t have enough for a cab. Well, she did, but it meant she couldn’t afford gas for work, so she walked. She walked the twenty blocks back to Walter’s apartment. She felt like an idiot wiping away her tears as she walked block after block. Thankfully, Savannah still had the apartment key he had given her last night. She couldn’t walk fast enough. Desperate to get back before he did so she could grab her belongings and figure out how she would return to Vermont.

  Slamming his front door shut, she was relieved to find his apartment empty. She knew it would be. He wasn’t committed to her enough to chase her. He was more than likely getting drunk on the whiskey he ordered in front of her. The worst mistake she had ever made was to come to New York. She should have listened to her gut and listened to her head, but her foolish heart swayed her and believed the lies he told to get her to New York.

  She threw his keys on the hallway table and rushed to the guest room. Once inside, she dumped her purse on the bed, grabbed her suitcase from the floor, her clothes thankfully still inside, and set it on the bed. Then she went to the bathroom, grabbed all her toiletries, and dropped them in her suitcase. Savannah was happy that she had packed light. She wanted to get the hell out of New York as quickly as possible. Her only issue was how to get home.

  There was one person she could ask. One person who would help her figure out what train to take to JFK.

  After she zipped her suitcase, Savannah picked up her purse and pulled out her phone. She would try once since she knew he would be at work. If he didn’t answer, she wouldn’t disturb him any further. She sat on the bed, unlocked her phone, and called him.

  It rang several times before he answered.

  “Hello?”

  His voice brought back her smile and the warmth in her chest. His voice was the sweetest sound she had heard since he left after the meeting.

  “Hi, Will.” She took a deep breath. “Is
this a bad time?”

  “No, not at all. Let me just go to my office.”

  She smiled. “You have an office?”

  Will laughed. “I share it with Emerson. Is everything okay?”

  His question was so gentle, so caring that she couldn’t burden him.

  “Yeah,” Savannah whispered.

  “Are you sure?”

  Laughing, she got up from the bed and grasped her suitcase. She set it on the floor and picked up her purse. “I’m leaving New York. I just wanted to say goodbye.”

  “Oh,” he breathed.

  “Yeah.”

  She set the purse strap on her shoulder and lifted the suitcase handle up. Then she walked out of the guest bedroom and headed down the hall. “I don’t know how I’m going to get back to Vermont, but I have to leave.”

  “Savannah, what happened?”

  She reached the front door, grasped the handle, and sighed. “He lied. He’s not going to stop drinking. I’m not worth it, and I wasted my time coming here.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  She twisted the door handle and exited Walter’s apartment. Closing the door behind her, she let out a relieved sigh. A weight had been lifted. She wasn’t responsible for Walter anymore. He didn’t want her in his life, then so be it.

  No one could ever say she didn’t try for him.

  But Savannah was tired, and she had to let him go.

  “It’s okay. I’m going to take the subway to JFK and figure out how I’m going to get a flight home.”

  “Wait,” Will said, sounding bewildered. “He never got you a return ticket?”

  “No,” she confirmed as she headed toward the elevator. “I have to call my dad and figure it out. I don’t even know which train to catch.”

  “Stay.”

  She flinched. “What?”

  “I’m going to leave my office right now. Stay in the lobby. We’ll figure out how to get you home. Just stay and I’ll come get you,” he insisted.

  The elevator opened, and she came face to face with Walter. Her heart sank. Her breathing heaved. She couldn’t move.

  “Don’t go,” Walter whispered, taking a wobbly step forward. He smelled of hard liquor, and she was repulsed.

  “You can’t stop me, Walter,” she said as she pushed past him.

  “Savannah, what’s going on?” Will asked as she heard a drawer slam shut on his end.

  Walter gripped her wrist. “Savannah.”

  She looked over her shoulder to find his hazy gray eyes on her. He was so drunk. She saw it, and she smelled it. “Let go of me, Walter.”

  “No, you can’t leave!” He raised his voice and tightened his grip, causing her to flinch at the surprising pain.

  “You’re hurting me.”

  He yanked her arm, bringing her closer to him. The whiskey on his breath was pungent. “Don’t leave me.”

  She lowered her phone from her ear, hoping Will didn’t hear any of this. “I can’t do this anymore, Walter. I can’t keep coming back to you. I’ve had enough, and I deserve better.”

  “You deserve me,” he sobbed, his tears rolling down his cheeks. He had never cried in front of her, and the sight broke her heart.

  Savannah shook her head. “No,” she said strongly, snatching her arm back. Then she turned to face him and his tears. “I deserve more than you.”

  Then she flattened her palm to his chest and pushed him out of the elevator. With her free hand, she reached over, and closed the elevator door before she pressed the lobby button, the elevator descending.

  Sighing, she tried to steady her breathing. Her heart ached. She had hoped he would let her leave without any problems. At the restaurant, he acted as if he didn’t care. Just now, she saw the emotion he had been hiding. But his begging wouldn’t work this time. She had to be stronger than him. It was the only way they could both move on. Though it had been heartbreaking to witness the end of them, it had been what they needed. He had emotionally, physically, and mentally hurt her. Savannah couldn’t take any more.

  And the man on the other end of her phone deserved so much more than she gave him. Savannah should have called him last night. She should have sought after his advice, but she was too proud. Too committed to Walter that she didn’t see the real picture.

  She didn’t see the truth.

  He was a lost cause so long as she loved him.

  Exhaling a heavy breath, Savannah straightened her posture. She inhaled a few times, hoping it would steady her anxious heartbeats. Walter had never touched her that way before, and she felt the sting of his touch burning her skin. Savannah glanced down at her wrist. She wanted to run her fingertips across the red marks to see if they would disappear or remain. But she knew they were tattooed on her skin for the meanwhile.

  Ignoring the marks, she lifted her phone to her ear. The adrenaline that coursed through her remained, but it slowly started to ebb away, exposing her raw. “I’m so sorry, Will.”

  “Don’t be.” He paused. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

  “No. I’m fine. I just need to get away from him.”

  Will hummed. “I’m a few minutes away. I’ll take you back to mine, okay?”

  She should fight him and tell him to go back to work. But as she watched the floor numbers decrease, the need to see him became insatiable.

  “Okay,” she answered as the elevator came to a stop and the doors parted. She stepped into the lobby and felt the relief that she was no longer trapped in that elevator with her ex. She couldn’t wait to get out of his apartment building and finally leave him behind.

  Until she was safely with Will, she didn’t feel like her breaths were hers. Her heartbeats felt forced and unnatural as she waited in the middle of the lobby. Savannah made it a habit to keep checking over her shoulder every time the elevator opened, hoping it wasn’t Walter.

  “Miss Peters.” Georgio, the security guard who was always nice to her when she visited Walter, smiled as he entered the apartment building.

  “Hello, Georgio.”

  He stopped in front of her. “Would you like me to call Mr. Vidović?”

  Savannah shook her head. “No, that’s okay. I’m leaving.”

  “Oh—”

  “Savannah?” she heard Will say.

  She was blocked by the security guard who she smiled at, and said, “I’ll see you,” before she stepped around him to find Will in the lobby, searching for her.

  He seemed to relax the moment he found her. Savannah’s heart did the same. The tension she felt eased. And her smile, well, that seemed to always peak at the sight of him.

  “Will,” she breathed as he closed the distance and wrapped his arms around her.

  Savannah should be surprised by his embrace, but she wasn’t. She fell into his strong, warm arms and closed her eyes. He smelled of citrus and sandalwood. He smelled manly, clean, and sober. He was safe, and what was more important, he made her feel safe. Savannah felt that warmth in her chest spread, giving her life like she had never known as he pulled back, staring down at her.

  “Are you okay?”

  Nodding, she admitted, “I am now.”

  His arms unwrapped from around her, and he cupped her jaw. His eyes roamed her face and then her body as if he were looking for marks. Then he tilted her chin and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I’m so happy you’re okay.”

  Happy.

  He’s happy I’m okay.

  “Thank you,” Savannah said a little breathless at the softness in his eyes.

  He dropped his hands from her face and took her suitcase from her. “My apartment’s in Brooklyn. We’ll grab a cab. There’s traffic, so it’ll be like forty minutes.”

  She didn’t care if it was over three hours away. So long as she was with Will, Savannah was happy.

  Seventeen

  Will

  “It’s small,” Will confessed as he set Savannah’s suitcase down and pulled his keys from his suit jacket pocket, slightly embarrassed that his two-bedro
om apartment in Brooklyn was no penthouse in Manhattan.

  The cab ride had been silent. After hearing her confrontation with Walter on the phone in his office, Will had no idea what to say. He heard Walter beg her to stay. He also heard him hurt her. He wasn’t sure where he hurt her, but when he looked her over in the lobby, she didn’t look as if he had struck her. Will was adamant that when she was safely in his apartment, he’d ask her. In the cab, she appeared lost in her thoughts, and Will wanted to give her some space and time.

  Savannah offered him a small smile. “I’m sure it’s larger than my apartment in Vermont.”

  Will wondered about how she lived in Vermont. All he knew was that she still lived with her father in Montpelier. There was still a lot about Savannah he didn’t know, but he hoped with time, she would let him get to know her.

  “I doubt that,” Will said as he inserted the key into the lock and twisted it. Once the door was unlocked, he pulled out the key, pushed the door open, and then shoved his keys back into his jacket pocket. Then he reached over and picked up her suitcase by the handle. “Well, wanna come inside?”

  She laughed.

  Low and sweet.

  “I do,” Savannah said as she stepped forward and entered his apartment. He followed her inside and then shut the door behind them.

  He watched as she took in the view of Brooklyn, and she seemed so mesmerized by all the apartment buildings. He didn’t have a view of Central Park like Walter, but Brooklyn was its own kind of beauty. When she finally faced him, she shook her head in disbelief.

  “Will, your apartment is beautiful.”

  He couldn’t disagree. He loved his apartment. It was a renovated warehouse on Bedford Street. He loved that it was close to the station so he could take the subway to work. Once he was no longer an intern at Coates and Jackson, he moved out of the apartment he shared with a guy named Terry who Will had met when he came to look at the apartment after moving out of his parents’ Scarsdale home.