A Stranger's Affection

by Charlene Namdhari

Her hesitation proved her despair. The knowledge that he wasn’t alone relieved him. Inhaling deeply, he stared at her rigid form. Despair, the likes of which he couldn’t describe, numbed his insides. Who would’ve thought that he, Colton Black, mighty lord of an emotional deficiency, could end up loving a woman—someone who couldn’t be his—so profoundly, it defeated the logic of trying to understand the reason?

  “I remember everything,” Nishi began speaking again. “My family. Jiten’s arrest, which resulted in my social rehabilitation. Clara and Mateo’s imprisonment for various criminal activities. And Liam. For the first time in my life, everything was different—normal again. When Liam proposed, I accepted. He had this insane idea to visit a few destinations for our honeymoon. The night we were ambushed, he was taking me to a surprise dinner. I’d never done the romantic thing before. It would’ve been our first night together as husband and wife...” She trailed off momentarily.

  “Your first night together?” Colton asked, mildly surprised, given her sexual tenacity with him. She peeked at him over her shoulder and nodded. He wasn’t sure what to say. Should he be happy that she hadn’t slept with her husband, yet? Or, sad that she was married, and her heart belonged to another man.

  She stared out the window once more. “Oddly, we never seemed to push each other sexually.” Colton wasn’t sure what to make of her statement. “Those men beat us like it was a personal attack—like they knew us, not some random assault. The last thing I remember was Liam lying across the room from me, his shirt blood-soaked. Somehow I escaped...” She spun sharply. “I left him, Colton...I left him to die at the hands of those bastards.” Her body shook with the force of her realization.

  Calling on his strength of self-reliance, he neared her. “Hey, it’s not your fault. You didn’t ask for any of this. You couldn’t anticipate the memory loss. Why do you think it was a personal attack?”

  She shrugged. “One of them mentioned someone wanting us dead—proof of our death, I think was the line he used. God, Colton, what if they killed Liam?” Her eyes rounded in horror. “I left him to die,” she repeated.

  “No, Nishi. You wanted to help the two of you survive. That’s why you escaped. Maybe he got away too,” Colton softened his tone. “I’ll send a team out to look for something—anything if it helps, okay?”

  She stared at him, eyes glittering with unshed tears. “You’d do that for me?”

  His smile belied his inner chaos. “Yes, sweetheart. I’d do anything for you.” He ran a gentle hand down her cheek. “Once we find your attackers and your husband, you can leave whenever you’re ready.” His body cried out to hold her—to pull her close and squeeze her tight—to feel her curves once more against his—to never let her go. But he couldn’t. “You need to get some rest. That bump to the back of your head was pretty nasty.” With a deep breath, he moved to leave. For his sanity, he had to maintain a safe distance.

  The hand on his back halted his next step. “What about us?”

  He glanced over his shoulder. “There is no us, sweetheart—there can never be an us now.” Colton blew out a frustrated breath and faced forward to leave. The tight grip on his arm stopped him. He kept his gaze fixed ahead. “Don’t make this harder than it already is, Nishi. I promised to be yours until you decided otherwise. Your otherwise, it seems, came sooner than we both expected,” he muttered. Angry with himself for feeling cheated, he couldn’t look at her for the fear he’d succumb to the desire rushing through his blood, unchecked and irrepressible.

  “Don’t ignore me, Colton.” She skirted him and stood in front. Her gaze sad and hurting—her vulnerability surprising. He wasn’t sure if the pain was for him or her husband. “There was an us. You can’t deny it. I know you’re hurting. What we had wasn’t just a fling—”

  “Dammit, Nishi. You think I don’t know that.” He raked a hand through his hair, his shoulders sagged. His head spun. “What do you want me to say? Jesus, sweetheart, you have no idea what you’ve done to me. Before you, I was in full control of my mind, body, and emotions.” He shook his head to quell the rising need to take what he wanted. Unable to stop himself, Colton cupped her face between his palms, his gaze searching and unsure what he hoped to find. Perhaps a reflection of the love he felt—the pain of this discovery—that she belonged to someone else. “Our story, Nishi, is a difficult one. It’s impossible to convey in a few words. It’s not a simple ‘I love you.’”

  “We’re separated even though we were made for each other?” she whispered.

  Startled by the honesty in her words, Colton shook his head, dropped his hands, and turned away.

  NISHANI STARED AT HIS back, her thoughts in anarchy with new and old memories. Colton stirred up feelings that questioned her self-assurance. She never figured herself for the sensitive type—the type to cry or run after a man. Why now?

  Mateo’s words came to mind. ‘Someday, bebita, you’ll meet the right man, and he’ll make you understand what a beautiful woman you are inside and out’ The old man was right. Only, it wasn’t understanding beauty but her self-doubt. Seeing Colton succumb to emotion, she didn’t think him capable of, messed with her head. Logic demanded she mourned the unknown whereabouts of Liam and look for him, yet her body and heart fought reason—commanded she give Colton her attention. Baffled, she couldn’t understand this crazy desire rushing through her body.

  Heaviness seeped suddenly into her muscles and desensitized her brain. It looked like the medication was beginning to take effect. Her memory might’ve returned, only, the past four months—more so the last twenty-four hours—demanded a lot more consideration than the two years she’d missed. That sexy stranger walking away had become an integral part of her existence. One, Nishani doubted she’d be able to live without.

  Restraining the chaos running rampant inside her muddled brain, she raced after Colton and slid in between him and door as he reached forward to open it.

  “What are you doing?” His brow creased.

  Their gazes collided in the ensuing silence. Confusion, pain, and something she couldn’t grasp swirled in those eyes that now resembled the ash of a dying fire. Yet, brazen heat bounced off him, hot and sensual. An intoxicating scent of soap, shampoo, and musky spice attacked her already baffled mind. Like an aphrodisiac, it pulled her deeper, and under his oblivious spell. Then, unsure who made the first move—maybe it was mutual. Perhaps they just needed reparation from the unexpected discovery tonight—their lips crashed together, filling her with an overwhelming yearn she couldn’t explain. He tasted of expensive whiskey and sin—the burn of his stubble almost warning her not to delve further. Nishani ignored the caution and slipped her hands up his arms as he crushed her body to his muscular torso.

  When they finally came up for air, her hands dropped to the belt buckle on his jeans. Colton gripped her hands. “Don’t, Nishi. I can’t stop myself around you.”

  “Then don’t.”

  Air hissed through his teeth as he inhaled between clenched teeth. His struggle for control evident in a tick near his jaw. “God, sweetheart, you don’t belong to me anymore. I can’t take from you what I want.”

  After the incident at DeLuca’s home, she craved Colton’s comfort. The notion was surprising. “Don’t push me away, Colton. Give me tonight. Let me belong to you one more time. Please.” Was that really her voice begging the very person who’d treated her with such arrogance it aroused her every time he looked at her? “Once you walk out that door, I become a married woman who cheated on her husband.” She gentled her expression. “A consequence I’m willing to accept.” She’d always lived on the edge, dictated the rules—it’s what made her a survivor.

  “Dammit, Nishi.” His fingers speared her hair and closed around a handful. Instead of pain, she should’ve have felt, given the bump to the back of her head, spurts of desire raced through her body. He tugged hard enough to tilt her head back, forcing her to meet his dark gaze—a potent reminder of the man she’d first encountered. “You fucking be
long to me.”

  Her shoulders hit the wall followed a second later by Colton’s muscular chest, meeting hers in a hard, full-body press. He kissed her like a man intoxicated by anger, his mouth hot and demanding before his fingers bit into her hip. Aroused, Nishani tore at his shirt, ripping buttons with a definitive pop the same time Colton yanked the straps of the dress he’d changed her into sometime during her knock-out spell. He dragged his mouth down her neck to her breasts, sucking each nipple in turn. Then he dropped to his knees and threw her leg over his shoulder.

  Nishani tipped her head back with a soft moan as he demolished the memory of DeLuca with his skilled tongue, creaming a shiver induced line up through the middle of her slit before pushing deep inside. His thumb flicked her clit. She gasped. Then he pressed down firmly and rubbed the swollen bud in persistent circles that switched her breathless pants into helpless groans. Her mind blanked out—all thoughts faded into lust saturated whimpers. Feverish with need, she dug her heel into his shoulder blade, gripping fistfuls of his hair and shoved her pussy into his mouth. Ravenous for everything he had to offer and more. All too soon, an explosion of torrid heat ripped through her core.

  “God, Colton,” Nishani cried out.

  As her body jerked in a gratifying release, he licked her dry until she clutched his shoulders and squeezed. Colton slipped her leg off him and rose to his feet, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His hair, thick and shiny, sexily disheveled while a fiery burn reignited the spark in his gaze. When he slipped his tongue between her lips, the taste of her on him spiraled her need a notch higher. She groaned. He broke the kiss, and silently pulled off her dress then unzipped his pants. Mechanically, her gaze dropped as his gorgeous cock spilled out. With minimal effort, he palmed her ass and lifted her off her feet. She wrapped her legs around him. He slid her up further, and when the heat of his pulsating cock pressed against her pussy, he claimed her with one muscle-clamping thrust after another that had her panting within seconds.

  She’d tasted Colton’s passion and he’d fucked her until she could barely walk but this union—it was hot, hard, and different. Honestly, he fucked her like there was no tomorrow—and unfortunately for them, there was no tomorrow. With that thought came the tears followed closely by anger. Once again, circumstances had forced her hand and robbed her of a man like Colton. Intense. Beautiful. Damaged. Just like her. Saddened, she gritted her teeth and dug her nails into his back. Only, the tears wouldn’t stop.

  Nishani shelved the effort and gave herself up to his ministration of body. “Oh, yes,” she cried out.

  “Don’t come, sweetheart,” he growled into her hair. “Wait for me.”

  She tried to hold on, but the fire swirling from her core proved too hot to control. “I can’t.”

  She came. Clenching around his cock so hard, Colton grunted, “Fuck, Nishi.” Barely seconds later, he succumbed to his release, his hips jerked harshly as he emptied himself inside her.

  Their labored breathing filled the air, slick bodies quivering, hearts beating as one between their linked chests.

  “That’s twice you’ve fucked me within an inch of consciousness.” She finally managed with a grin. He lowered her feet to the floor, but he wasn’t laughing. His expression turned eerily still and closed-off—a startling provocation of the old Colton. The sexy amusement she’d witnessed every time they made love, no longer danced in his eyes. He merely stared. “What’s wrong?”

  In total contradiction to the look on his face, he ran a gentle finger down her cheek. “Tears? Why? You wanted this.”

  “Tears of joy,” she lied. “And yes, I wanted this—a reminder of the stranger who became my lover and a whole lot—” A rush of vertigo evaded her senses. The room spun. Nishani held her head, then closed her eyes.

  “Are you okay?” He swung her up into his arms and carried her to the bed.

  When he laid her down, and the warmth of his hold left her body, she opened her eyes. Colton’s masculine features, gorgeous and concerned, hovered over her. “Probably just hungry.” She attempted a laugh. It stuck in her throat.

  “You’re still in shock.”

  “Shock? I’m not an invalid, you know. I can take care of myself,” she mumbled. Oddly, the return of her memory didn’t bring with it the happiness she’d anticipated.

  He shook his head. “You don’t have to act tough all the time, Nishi.” His tone conveyed a level of comfort she found strange for a man she’d just hurt. “You’ve been through hell and back, more than once. It’s okay to feel helpless sometimes.”

  Although her body tensed in defense, something told her not to argue. “I’m sorry about your family and what DeLuca did to you and Rex.”

  “I guess experiences might shape our lives, but it doesn’t define who we are.” He shrugged. She sensed an underlying reference to her life. “Bastard got what he deserved in the end.”

  “Better late than never, right?”

  Colton nodded. “Rest now. I’ll bring you something to eat.” He slid a stray strand of her hair off her cheek.

  “Don’t leave, please.” Her words faded to a whisper as sleep threatened to drag her down into its silent realms. Nishani searched his face. Her attempt to stay awake, to hear Colton’s reassurance that everything was right between them, failed. As though her body sensed her sad thoughts, it catapulted into unexplained weightlessness. She sank deeper into the mattress, unusually tired and waning fast.

  His lips curved in a slow smile then he kissed her, a gentle melding of their mouths. “This—” he breathed against her lips... “this anguish wants—it wishes for the distance between you and me to disappear.” He sighed. “Does that make sense?”

  She nodded. “I-I guess we both knew the unknown consequences of this day was bound to happen.”

  “I know.” He kissed her cheek lightly. Then he was gone.

  Nishani stared at the closed door through sleepy half slits, turned on her side, and did something she hadn’t done since the age of seventeen. She cried into the pillow.

  Chapter Twenty Six

  WHEN NISHANI OPENED her eyes again, sunlight streamed through the open curtains, yet her mind remained clouded with gray shadows of impending doom. Last night’s happenings sucked and might be over, but she feared the confrontation with Colton today. Her thoughts ricocheted between helpless and melancholy. She glanced to her side. The dent in the pillow next to her was missing. Colton hadn’t spent the night in his room. She lacked the energy to get up and face the inevitable. With a miserable sigh, she tossed the covers aside, scrambled out of bed, and headed for the bathroom.

  Twenty minutes later, she entered the kitchen as Maria came in from outside. “Good morning, señorita. You are feeling better today?”

  “Morning. Yes, thank you.” Nishani poured a mug of coffee.

  “Santos came three days ago. Do you still want to speak to him?”

  Nishani shook her head with a smile. “Thank you for contacting him, Maria. Now that my memory’s back, I don’t need him. I can call my fam—” She stopped. A sudden thought popped into her head. Last night she’d mentioned to Colton that whoever attacked had done it under an instruction. What if they were still looking for her? What if she called Ashni and her attackers went after her family? If she got someone to snoop on her behalf, it might give her an insight into her enemies—she’d made plenty of those in her time with Mateo.

  “Señorita? Are you okay?” Maria interrupted her wandering mind.

  “Maybe I should speak...wait...did you say three days? How’s that possible, Maria. I was here with you three days ago?” Shit. Was she losing her mind?

  Maria’s eyes rounded in apparent shock. “Those men took you three—”

  “No. They took me yesterday morning. Colton rescued—”

  “You’ve been asleep for the last two days, Nishi.” Rex walked in. “The shot doc gave you coupled with pills he left with Colton, knocked you out.”

  “You’re kidding.” Nishani
set her mug on the table and dropped into a chair. “I don’t understand?”

  Rex accepted the mug of coffee, Maria handed him and slipped into a seat next to Nishani. “When we brought you home. Doc checked you and tended the wound at the back of your head. He wasn’t sure how long you’d be out. The pills were to calm you in the event your memory returned and the shot for pain.”

  “Shit. It’s no wonder I was drowsy that night. Where’s Colton?” She inspected her hand as though the answer laid in her palm.

  “He left for New York—”

  “He left?” Startled, her head jerked up. How could he? Had their relationship meant so little that once again, he disappeared without a goodbye?

  “Nish? You okay?”

  “Did he say anything?”

  “He mentioned something about clues to your attackers and sent James with a team out to the place Colton found you. I’ve no idea what happened that night he rescued you, but when he came down, he was pissed. Your memory returned?” Rex reached for her hand and linked his fingers with hers. “Want to talk about it?”

  She stared at him for a long moment then sat down with a sigh. “I’m married, Rex.”

  “What?” Any other time and his expression would’ve received a laugh. “You’re kidding?” Rex asked when he stopped gaping. “Okay, you’re not kidding,” he muttered a second later. “I’m guessing you told Colton?”

  Nishani nodded, wishing she hadn’t shared the news with both brothers. “I should’ve kept that to myself. It would’ve been better to disappear without letting him know the truth.”

  “And you would’ve achieved what exactly.” Rex grinned. “You know my brother, babe. He’ll scour the earth looking for you.”

  “I hurt him,” she mumbled. “He left without saying goodbye. Says a lot, doesn’t it?”

  Rex slid off his seat and put his arm around her shoulders. “You're an idiot as usual.” He playfully punched her chin. “You didn’t hurt my brother. Circumstances did. He hasn’t moved permanently to New York just business. When he gets back, you can sit down with him and discuss this.”