It Begins with Her (Becoming the Wolf Book 4)

by T. S. Joyce

  “Yeah, at least there’s that,” Brent said gruffly. “Hey Lana, grab that pinecone. You see it? That is on the list, too. Go throw it in the bag. Okay, don’t actually throw it,” he said as she launched the pinecone at the bag Logan carried, nailing him in the leg.

  “Good throw, kiddo,” Marissa muttered through a secret smile.

  Bushes rustled somewhere behind them, and they all turned, tensed and alert. Morgan grabbed Lana and held her protectively. Grey was already Changing. He gave a short bark as he trotted through the group to go check out the noise. Wade followed behind him for backup, his human strides lengthening to keep up with Wolf. Dean placed himself between the threat and the rest of them. They’d all been victims of a trap before. Morgan picked up Grey’s discarded clothes and folded them absently. When they came back, Grey sneezed, shaking his head, and went back up to the front of the group. He didn’t bother to Change back.

  “Squirrels,” Wade said as they started moving forward again.

  Rachel looked at Morgan with wide eyes, and they both gave a relieved puff of air.

  “What’s the matter, Morgan?” Lana asked.

  “Nothing, Baby. A squirrel scared us, but it’s nothing to worry about.”

  Three hours later the Dallas packs arrived back at the Pavilion with all of the items from the scavenger hunt collected in their bag. They weren’t even close to being the first ones there, but they hadn’t tried to be either. It had been an adventuresome last couple of weeks for the packs, and it was nice to spend relaxing time together. Lana got to pee in the woods for the first time, which proved to be a terribly exciting experience for a youngster, though it added ten minutes to the length of their hike as she sat happily on a log and sang “Hey Diddle Diddle.”

  The packs had devoured the snacks in the backpack early in the hike and were starving by the time they got back into the mess hall. After grabbing trays of food, they sat down at a long table and silence descended as they focused on filling hungry bellies. Brent scanned the room and waved to Sarah. She finished her meal with her pack and came to sit with them. Any discomfort she may have felt after her conversation with Brent earlier seemed to have dissipated as they laughed easily.

  “It’s like you didn’t even try to win,” a feminine voice said from behind.

  Morgan internally groaned. Alexis set a plate of food down next to Grey, and Jonathan sat on her other side with a plate of his own.

  “Hey guys,” Jonathan said. Morgan gave a two-fingered wave to him, but spared not a word for Alexis. A snarl didn’t count as a word.

  Alexis’s smile was as frosty as a blizzard. “I shall think of you as I eat my box of steaks. What’s the matter Silver Wolf? Feeling lazy today? Decided to slow the whole group down?”

  Morgan was not going to let her get to her. Not today.

  She sighed tiredly. “Yes, it was all me. I was lazy. Dean, I promise to buy you a box of premium steaks to make up for it,” she said in a bored monotone voice.

  “I know you’re joking, but I really do want one,” Dean said around a bite of ham sandwich.

  “Done,” she said. “I, at least, owe you that after everything.”

  “What about Grey? What does he get?” Jason asked mischievously.

  “I bake him cookies,” she said innocently.

  Alexis stabbed a potato with her fork as if there was a threat of it running away. “Okay seriously, if this is what passes for conversation now, I’m glad I left your dumb pack.”

  “Yeah,” Logan said, “because it was totally your choice.”

  “Shut up, Logan,” Alexis gritted out.

  “I’m just saying,” he said, holding his hands up in the air. “There is less drama these days now that you have moved on.”

  “Oh, you mean besides the pack war that killed one of our brothers?”

  Morgan put her fork down and pushed away from the table. Here we go.

  Told you we should’ve just killed her last night, her inner wolf whispered in her mind unhelpfully.

  “I have a question,” Alexis said primly.

  “Alexis,” Dean warned.

  “No. I think I have a right to know. Were you tucked away in some hidey hole, nice and safe, while Brandon was dying for you?”

  “Alexis!” Jonathan scolded her, but it was too late. The words were already out, and the table grew quiet. The only sound was the low and steady growl emitting from deep inside Grey’s chest. No human eyes looked back from anyone at the table save, Lana, Sarah, and Alexis. She had harped on a topic still fresh and devastating, and her words had conjured horrific memories to the surface. Morgan put a hand on Grey’s leg to steady him. For the hundredth time, she imagined Brandon’s cold, lifeless eyes staring back at her. She closed her eyes tightly and their already straining bond completely closed.

  Dean was the one to speak, emotion thick in his voice. “You have no idea what went on that day, Alexis, and it is none of your business anymore. Since you keep bringing it up, however, I will tell you what you want to know. Morgan fought with us. She killed as many as Grey or I did defending our packs, and she did it human. The wolf who killed Brandon? Morgan killed him with her bare hands to avenge him. It’s where she got all of the scars on her arms.” The table creaked as he leaned his weight forward. “If you keep making everyone uncomfortable every time you are around us, you won’t be welcome to spend time with us anymore. Is that understood?”

  Though her eyes were still defiant, Alexis nodded slightly. Dean got up and walked off. Rachel threw Alexis a dirty look and stood to follow her mate. Morgan blinked in an attempt to keep the moisture building in her eyes at bay.

  And Alexis, always true to herself, trailed her attention from her maimed arms to her face, and a cruel smile twisted her lips. “Not so pretty anymore, are ya, Silver Wolf?”

  ****

  Grey trusted Morgan to handle herself in these situations. His interference would only make her angry if she felt like she couldn’t defend herself in pack dynamics, but watching someone intentionally hurt her while he sat back sent a slow boil into his gut he had no outlet for. Wolf wanted blood as payment for offenses against his mate.

  Grey strode silently beside her, but his hands quaked with the urge to release his rage. “I’ll be right back,” he murmured.

  She watched him go, but it couldn’t be helped. He couldn’t coop Wolf up in a cabin while he was this pissed off. He jogged to escape her worry. She had shut their bond down, but he was still close enough that he could almost taste her stress. Cutting herself off from him had only given Wolf more rein with no soothing touch of his mate to settle him.

  The forest would provide escape from the blackness that covered everything inside of him. There, he found a sturdy tree and beat on it until flecks of blood shot from his fists with every blow.

  With swollen and bloodied knuckles, he ran his hands through his hair in irritation and slid his back against the injured tree. He hadn’t realized what a burden she had been carrying, because Wolf couldn’t see it. His mind didn’t work like that. He was good at a job, not the emotional part of a relationship, and she’d been right. There had to be balance. Morgan would never be happy if he couldn’t be there for her sweet heart.

  Since the Formal Challenges and the pack war, Wolf had been gaining power, and Grey’s softer human side had been pushed far back into the deep recesses of his mind.

  Their talk earlier had left him uneasy. He thought he was doing a better job of hiding his struggle with Wolf from her, but Morgan was smart. Sooo smart. She noticed everything—every little change in him. He had thought if his mate couldn’t see it, and if he hid it well enough, the problem with Wolf taking over didn’t exist. Except it did. Wolf was taking more and more control lately, and there was no longer balance between his human side and the beast. There never really had been, but his control shouldn’t be slipping this badly. His weakness was failing Morgan. He had to figure out a way to fix things with her, and then he had to work on a way to comprom
ise with Wolf. Way easier said than done. Compromising with a monster was fuckin’ brutal.

  When he got back to the cabin, Morgan had tucked Lana into one of the bottom bunk beds for a nap, and Marissa was sleeping in the bed above her. It had been a long night for everyone. Morgan was curled up in their bed, facing the wall, and her shoulders shook with grief that didn’t reach his ears. She had opened their bond again, and her sadness washed over him like acid rain.

  He slid into bed behind her, curled around her body and hugged her tight. “Are you okay?”

  Morgan sniffled. “Sometimes I feel like I hate Alexis. I don’t understand where she is coming from, or why she is so angry. She says things to hurt me, and I don’t know why she puts so much effort into making me look bad. She has Jonathan, who actually seems like a decent guy. She has a pack. She should be happy. I just wish she would move on. Every bitter comment on top of what she did to me just seems so unfair.”

  “Sometimes I think I hate her too, but instead of sometimes, it’s all of the time.”

  Morgan laughed thickly, and relief sang from her. It washed over him like a cleansing rain.

  He kissed her neck softly. “Why don’t I ask Rachel and Dean to watch over Marissa and Lana, and we’ll go for a hike. Just me and you. We’ll call it our Summit date. Sound good?”

  When she turned in bed to face him, her smile was infectious. “I would really like a Summit date with you.”

  Chapter Nine

  Grey held his hand out with that crooked smile that said it was only them. Morgan laughed and slid her fingertips against his. He was consuming when he was like this. There was no hurry in his gait, and slowly, they made their way down the trail that led to a small lake to the east of the mountain cabins.

  The forest was alive with birdsong and small wildlife, and the pine needle-blanketed trail made for a silent hike. She liked that their human sides didn’t disturb nature here.

  Statuesque trees lined the trail, and after about a mile, she got her first glimpse of the lake through the woods. Grey froze with a knowing smile on his lips and put a finger to his mouth. She crept closer, stalking unwitting prey. Brent and Sarah sat quietly on a large rock near the edge of the water. They talked as if they had known each other for years. Morgan grabbed her mate’s hand and pulled him away from the laughing couple. They would have to find their privacy elsewhere.

  Farther up the mountain, the trail forked. One path led back to the cabins and one would lead deeper into the pine-crested forest. The trail eventually widened to a huge, open slope. Abandoned ski lifts waved in the wind above their heads, and terrain got rockier. The turn in seasons had made it look almost unrecognizable from what it probably looked like covered in snow. She bet it was beautiful in the snowstorms of winter, but right now? In early spring? It was breathtaking. Flowers and gently waving grass peeked out from between the rocks, and the mountainside was such a vibrant green, it nearly hurt her eyes with its beauty. She inhaled, taking in the earth’s heady scent, as she stretched and flexed unused muscles.

  Halfway up the mountain, Grey paused. “Do you want to Change with me? We don’t get too many chances to run together, just you and me.”

  She answered him by pulling off her shirt and heading deeper into the woods in search of more privacy. She could almost feel his gaze follow her until she was out of sight behind a group of trees. Unhurried, she folded her clothes up neatly at the base of a mossy evergreen tree. She Changed slowly, as usual. God, she needed to set her next new year’s resolution as ‘suck less at Changing.’

  As she emerged from the edge of the woods, Wolf sat patiently against a large boulder. The contrast of his black fur made his eyes shine even brighter. He probably hadn’t even moved. What kind of magic had been born the day he was Changed to allow him that kind of speed? She sauntered over to him, then rubbed down his side and swished her tail teasingly in his face. He stuck his nose deeply into the pale fur at her neck, spending time with her scent. She trotted off a few steps before she turned in invitation. Come play. He followed easily. She took off running faster and faster until she couldn’t differentiate between her footfall and Grey’s. He was a large wolf, much larger than her, and though he could have taken and passed her whenever he wanted, he sweetened the thrill of the chase by remaining at her hip.

  A jumble of feelings came across their bond. Grey was happily drowning in her smell, and a mash of excitement and need drifted to her. The smell of his pheromones and testosterone and excitement were enough to make her dizzy, like the best shot of tequila she’d ever had. He was relishing in the change of her scent, and the mixture of their feelings over the bond was so arousing it made it impossible for her to jump the fallen log across their path. She skidded to a stop so abruptly, he ran into her hind end.

  She turned unsteadily to go around it, but he nuzzled her fur and nipped at her neck in a playful fight. Her breath quickened, and she froze to allow him to caress her as he wanted. His excitement spurred hers on, and she shifted her weight from paw to paw. When she moved, he moved with her. She backed away from him, teasing, and he followed her faithfully. She nipped at his face, and he growled playfully. She lay down and rolled onto her back, tail wagging as he buried a snuffling nose into her stomach. He put a large paw over her chest to keep her down and started cleaning her face, slowly and methodically until she felt entranced by his affections.

  It was empowering that such a big and beautiful creature loved only her. She stood and shook herself off. Grey rose to follow her when she padded behind the fallen tree, but she gave a soft growl. Stay there.

  When she came back around the tree, she was human again, naked with her wavy dark hair cascading down her shoulders and back. Black and white images came across their bond as he drank her in. Pictures of the way he saw her. The scar Alexis had left down the front of her thigh was still there, her skin uneven and red. It was a scar she would always bear, no matter how powerful her werewolf healing was. Her stomach was flat, and his fresh brand on her arm was small but dark. Angry, red claw marks marred the insides of her forearms, and a long, silver scar connected her scalp to her hairline from her awful day in a Montana basement. And yet somehow his vision made every imperfection into something beautiful. He saw her flaws like physical proof of her struggles and perseverance. She could think a hundred ugly things about herself, but seeing through his eyes drew her up. How could she feel bad about the flaws if the man she loved saw them as some of his favorite parts about her?

  He rushed toward her, quickly Changing from Wolf to man. She barely had time to react when he drew her into his arms and kissed her hard enough that her lips were throbbing. Desperate to be even closer to him, she hopped up, and wrapped her legs around his strong body. His abs were stone against her, his chest nothing but hard planes against her soft breasts. He eased them backward until he was sitting on a huge fallen tree. The moss that blanketed it protected her shins as she straddled his hips.

  Morgan pressed herself firmly against him and could feel his thick cock hardening between her legs. Determined to be the one to set the pace, she rocked gently and kissed him slowly. Grey let out a delicious groan that sent shivers down her spine as gooseflesh prickled her skin. After everything that had happened to her, she needed a moment where she felt in control of something—of anything.

  She pulled back slightly, and he opened his eyes to look at her through a brilliant and steady gold. Morgan slowed her rhythm even more, sliding her wet folds over his ready dick. He let out an impatient growl, low and steady, and though it excited her, she wouldn’t let Wolf have his way. Not this time.

  “Wolf, how do you know you won’t like it if you never try it?” She couldn’t look away from the brilliance of his gaze. “Do it slow on time, for me,” she said, lifting herself up and sliding over him.

  She only lowered herself halfway before she lifted off him again, teasing. She lowered herself again and again, but didn’t take all of him. He looked away from her first by burying his
head into her chest. His breath shook, and his fingers gripped onto her legs as his control slipped.

  His hands slid up her back and pulled firmly down on her shoulders. He thrust into her so deep, and gave off a satisfied groan. Morgan let out a warning growl, and he stilled.

  “I need this,” she said breathily.

  A hint of blue finally shone through the steady gold. It was as much of a yes as she would get. He let go of her shoulders and slid his palms down to rest them on top of her thighs.

  She pulled off him slowly, punishing him for his impatience. She tasted his lips, nipping at his lower one before making a trail of kisses down his neck. She was lost in the sound of her raggedly whispered name on his breath.

  “Please,” he begged. His voice tapered off into a tortured whisper. “Please, Morgan, please. Take it all. Let me go deep. Fuck, please let me go deep.”

  She shivered at the sound of his pleading voice, and bore down hard. He hit her clit perfectly, over and over, faster and faster. He gripped her legs tightly but she felt no pain now, only ecstasy.

  “Come for me fast,” he growled. “I’m there.”

  Just that admission…just those couple of words…they were so sexy to her. She was already there, already tingling and on the verge, but that sent her over the edge. She cried out, arched her head back as he gripped her hips and dragged her onto him deep. He thrust into her faster, faster, and then she was gone. And right alone with her pounding body, he shot warmth into her, his dick throbbing with his release.

  So. Fucking. Sexy.

  Feeling high as a kite, she stayed right there, moving slowly over him, trailing kisses down his short beard, down his strong throat, onto the curves of his thick shoulders. And all the while, he explored her body with his hands. Her spine tingled where he traced it, her lower back was massaged. Her ass was grabbed time and time again. The back of her hair was pulled and her neck was kissed, licked, bitten gently.