Pop The Clutch: A Second Gear Romance

by Kristin Harte

  My stomach lurched. “Jesus, Violet.”

  Her eyes were rimmed in red and looking way too close to watery, but she held my gaze. My little warrior. “The people I thought were my friends ambushed me, but I felt as if I deserved it, you know? Like it was penance for cheating. That humiliation was my pound of flesh, and I accepted the punishment. I was willing to pay that price because I really had been wrong. But see, those guys didn’t just watch the video. They downloaded it. They posted it online as different forums became available. They spread that video far and wide, all while perpetuating the lie that it was Jace and me having sex. You couldn’t see Marcus’s face, and he had a haircut similar to Jace’s, so it worked. Marcus disappeared, too afraid he’d be named as the guy with me, not that I can blame him. But Jace was oddly proud of it. He let that lie spread everywhere. And everyone believed the legend. I got called a whore in school, had boys I barely knew assault me in the hallways, had people on the street glare and look away when they noticed me. The community basically excommunicated me while Jace earned some kind of weird guy street cred for the whole thing. Some kid I’d never met would grab my ass and call me a slut with one breath, then high-five Jace and cheer him on with the next.” She cocked her head, finally closing out of the window on the computer. Making that damn clip disappear. “I became everyone’s favorite victim, even though I never wanted to claim that title.”

  Every word, every breath made me long to hold her more. Increased my need to comfort her. “I’m sorry. I should have been there—”

  She brushed off my words with a wave of her hand. “You had your own tragedy to get through. I was just so grateful when you picked me up that time. That was the night. I’d run out of the bowling alley in tears and started walking home, but then the storm had rolled in. I’d kept walking because I didn’t know what else to do.”

  Shit, neither had I. I still didn’t. “You were so sad that night.”

  “I was. I thought my world was crashing down around me, though I didn’t know to what extent at that point. Still, you made me feel better. Just talking with you at the pizza place made me feel normal for a moment, gave me something else to think about besides the fallout from that tape. Even then, that night—as you talked about your dad leaving you without a word—I knew things would get bad for me. Not as bad as they were for you, though. My problems seemed so much smaller in comparison.” She choked on a sob, and I reached for her. Unable not to. Thankfully, she sank into my hold and didn’t pull away.

  “It wasn’t a contest. Your pain and fear were just as valid as mine, even though the sources were different.” I held her tight, every muscle in my body relaxing at her softness and warmth. Even breathing felt easier with her in my arms.

  Violet snuggled close, taking deep breaths as I held her and waited. Because as much as I dreaded it, there was more to hear. More for her to tell me. Her story didn’t end that night in the rain. It didn’t even end with graduation.

  “That night, you told me it was okay to want to escape. Do you remember?” She looked up at me, her brows furrowed, so fucking beautiful even as she fought back tears. “When I said I just wanted to leave, you convinced me that the idea wasn’t wrong, even though that’s what your dad had done, that leaving was an option when things were too hard. I clung to that. Through those last few months of school when things were so hellish, I held on to the knowledge that I’d leave the second I graduated, and it would all be over.”

  There was that feeling in your stomach when you were about to race—that tension of knowing the next few seconds would determine your fate. Fear and excitement, adrenaline maybe, rushed through your body and heightened your awareness. That was me in that moment. Knowing we were about to get to the rest of the story—finally putting the motor to the test and see if we could control the ride.

  And just like when I raced, I closed my eyes, popped the clutch, and held on. “But it wasn’t the end.”

  “The internet is forever,” she mumbled, reciting the words we’d all heard a thousand times from Mrs. Michaelson when we were in school. “I was at freshman orientation at Western the first time someone recognized me from the video. He stared at me from across the dining hall for like twenty minutes, which I thought was him sort of flirting. I was such an idiot, but I didn’t know how far everything had spread then, so it never occurred to me to be worried. Finally, the guy walked up and asked if I was Cowgirl Vee. Said he recognized me from the internet and wanted to know if I’d sign something for him. I had no idea what he meant. It didn’t take me long to figure it out.”

  “Wasn’t there something anyone could do? Some way to get the videos taken down?”

  “Oh, sure. I could spend all day searching for GIFs and clips and send takedown notices, but that wouldn’t do anything except take up my time. The video was literally everywhere, including on international servers.” She pulled out of my arms and dragged a hand over her face, meeting my eyes again. Almost seeming to brace herself. “It still is.”

  Her words felt like a warning, though I wasn’t sure why they would be. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying people will find it. Customers of yours, friends, people we meet. If you’re with me, this video will shadow you just like it’s shadowed me all these years. I’ll never get out from under the stigma of Cowgirl Vee, whether I live Downriver or somewhere else—though Downriver is worse because that story is practically legend here. Hell, Lacey still hosts those porn rodeos with my video as the feature.”

  “We’ll call a lawyer,” I said, everything tightening back up as I thought about Lacey and that day in the restaurant. I should have said fuck it and punched her right in the face. “We’ll get them to make her stop.”

  “Easton, you don’t see it yet. She doesn’t even matter anymore. She can have a hundred parties, and it won’t be a drop in the bucket of viewers compared to the number of people who see it online.” She ran her hands over my chest, trying to calm me even as I held her up. As I wished there were some way to make everything disappear. As my entire body vibrated with the force of my rage. “I’m not worried about her anymore, except in relation to how her bullshit affects you and your business. Because it could, and I’d never want to be responsible for making things more difficult for you in this town.”

  My heart jumped. Her worries meant she was thinking of a future together, which was all I wanted—chaos be damned. But she didn’t look quite right as she talked to me. In fact, she looked small and sad. I fought the urge to drag her out of the office and take her to my trailer. To block out the world and keep her safe and warm in my home, in my bed. To hide her away until she felt like mine again. We weren’t there yet. We still had a few things to discuss, but I was ready to get that shit out of the way.

  It was time to hit the gas a little harder.

  “So, you cheated on Jace.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  VIOLET

  Oh God. He dove right in, didn’t he? No easy questions, no hedging around the discussion. Just…that. I’d never wanted to hide more.

  “Violet?”

  “Yes,” I said, the word thick and hard to push out. “I cheated on Jace. I shouldn’t have, but I did. And I’ll own that mistake.”

  His silence scraped at my already raw nerves. What was he going to say next? He’d walked away from a cousin because of cheating. Would he be able to see past that fact for me? Would he not? There were so many more important things to deal with—the legacy of that mistake. Would he—

  “Did you cheat on me when we were together over this past summer?”

  My head flew up, my mouth moving before my brain even caught up. “No.”

  Easton didn’t blink, didn’t give me a hint of what he was thinking. “Will you?”

  “Hell no,” I said, shaking my head. “Never. I’d never cheat on you, Easton. I…I know that I should have said it sooner and that I’m an idiot for how I reacted when you said it, but I love you. I’d never want to hurt you that way.�
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  He shrugged, the picture of casual while I sweated out every microsecond. “Then none of that shit matters.”

  “You don’t know what you’re saying,” I said, inching closer, needing to have his hands on me. Finally feeling something other than hurt and loneliness. Feeling something that reminded me a lot of what hope used to be. “That video will always be around—people will always know me from it. The internet is forever.”

  He didn’t even flinch. “We’ll deal with it.”

  “Lacey and Jace will always try to get a rise out of me. Especially her.”

  “I’ll punch them in the face.”

  “You’ll go to jail.”

  “Worth it.”

  “Easton,” I said, trying so hard to make him be serious for just a minute. “Being with me will just bring…chaos. Every time my past cycles through, there will be a mess to clean up.”

  Another shrug, this one less casual, more…aggressive, if that was possible. And apparently, with Easton Cole, an aggressive shrug was a thing. “I grew up in a trailer park and still live in one. My dad left us with nothing, like some sort of bad country song, and most of the town judged me for using government aid to keep food on the table instead of having a little empathy for a family destroyed. Who gives a shit about chaos?”

  But I couldn’t be flippant. Not with him, not with us. “I do. And you do too. At least, you should.”

  “Well, I don’t. I just care about you.” Easton grabbed my arm and tugged me closer—not demanding, giving me the option to touch or not. And I wanted to touch. Needed to, so I went with his direction. I surrendered to his pull and let my body meld into his, because it was what I needed. What I craved. His touch was the glue holding me together.

  He continued moving me until I was pressed against his chest, our eyes still locked, his hands sliding down to grab my ass in a possessive yet oddly comforting sort of way.

  “Easton, I—”

  “Will you stay?” he asked, his words soft, his fear plain as day in his tone. “Will you let me help you fight that past instead of running away from us?”

  Such a hard question but one with an easy answer. At least for me in that moment. I’d sinned, I’d confessed, and I’d paid my penance. It was time for my redemption, even if it was only to the boy who’d taught me that running could be a good thing…until it wasn’t.

  “Yes, Easton. I’ll try to stay and fight, even if it hurts.” I ran my nose along his, letting our lips brush in the softest of touches as I whispered, “My God, have I missed you.”

  His lips covered mine before I said the last word. His kiss set my soul on fire, so deep and strong, it practically overwhelmed all my senses. I gave myself over to the kiss, clinging to him so I could return it with as much passion as he was showing me. Trying to tell him without words how desperately I wanted him. I’d missed him so much. I hadn’t even realized exactly how much until he was back in my arms again. And I was never letting him go.

  When we finally broke apart, Easton pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m so sorry about that day in the restaurant. I didn’t understand what Lacey was implying. Colton finally told me what that viewing party meant, and it all clicked. I’ve never been to one of those watching parties, and Colton only knew about them because his friend Charity had been to one. We—me, Brogan, Colton—we’d never do something like that to you. We’d never celebrate your betrayal like that.”

  I kissed him again, unable to resist. “I know, and I never assumed you’d been to one. I was just so surprised by her and embarrassed that you’d heard all that. I was an idiot to run without at least talking to you first.”

  “No, baby, you weren’t. Yeah, you shouldn’t have run from me, but you were scared. I get it. But this whole thing isn’t your fault. You deserve to hold those moments as private, not have to endure the whole world watching them for years on end.”

  “It’s not going to stop, you know.”

  “Yeah. I know. And I hate that, but not because of my feelings. Because of yours.” He ran his nose along mine and kissed my chin. “You should be able to walk into any room and not worry if the person there has seen you naked. Unless it’s me. I’ve seen you naked and would really like to again sometime.”

  I chuckled, my heart pounding so hard and so loud, he had to hear it. “We’ll have to see about that.”

  “Can we see soon? Because it’s been a long five weeks without you.” He grabbed my ass again, kneading it, pulling me closer so I could feel just how much he wanted me. And hell, I wanted him just as much. Was desperate for him to touch me, to kiss me. To let me back into his life. He was all I’d never known I wanted, and I’d come so close to losing him. So close to walking away from what could be the best thing that had ever happened to me.

  I was an idiot, and he was still able to steal my breath with nothing more than a look.

  “Missed you,” I whispered, unable to hold it back. My throat too tight to be any louder. Thankfully, Easton never did need me to be loud.

  “If you hadn’t shown up here today, I’d probably be on my way to Chicago right now. I was barely holding on to my resistance, especially after that text.”

  Oh God, those words were just what I needed from him. I nodded, one hand on his chest, the other holding him around the neck. Needing to touch. Not wanting to let go for a second. “I’m only here for two days.”

  He shrugged, his eyes locked with mine. “Can we spend them in my bed?”

  “I should probably go see my family.”

  “I’ll give you two hours for that.”

  I laughed, unable not to. “You’re ridiculous.”

  “No, I’m a man in love. I told you I don’t want to live without you. I meant it.” He kissed me again, soft and deep and filled with such a sense of hope. A kiss made up of promises.

  I pulled away, though, for once putting talking above all else. “What about your work?”

  I’d meant the question in terms of the next few days, but Easton took it a whole other direction. “Gracie and the guys can run the shop on their own while I figure out how to make a living in Chicago. I’m ASME certified, so I can work on cars anywhere.” He pulled me close again, kissing along my jaw to my ear. “As long as we’re together, I’ll figure out the rest.”

  “Easton, no. You’re not leaving this town,” I said, my voice almost too soft to hear. I ran a finger over his cheek, ready to cry. Unable to say all the words he deserved to hear. My God, he was willing to give up everything. His family, his business…all to come to Chicago on the chance of us. On the hope that I might not run away again.

  Good thing running was the last thing I wanted to do at that moment.

  I pulled out of his arms, holding on to his hand as I backed toward the door. He watched me with a confused look on his face.

  “Where ya going?” he asked.

  I grinned as I closed and locked the office door. “Did you really miss me, Easton?”

  He shot me an almost arrogant smirk, purposefully looking me up and down as he murmured, “Yes, I missed every single hot little inch of you, baby.”

  I giggled, then turned to close the blinds on the door so no one could see in. Just in case. “Dirty boy.”

  “You like me that way,” Easton said, stepping up behind me and pressing his hips into mine. So right in his words, so amazing in his touch. He stayed close, trapping his erection against me. Showing me how much he wanted me with his body. His hands roamed, devouring every inch of me, becoming reacquainted as they slid over my stomach and up to my breasts.

  “You’re wrong,” I said, closing my eyes and arching into his touch. So needy for him, I could barely speak. But I would. I had something important still to say. “I don’t just like you that way. I love you that way.”

  Easton moved fast, spinning me and pinning me to the door. His eyes were bright as they met mine, heated and wild. “Damn, that sounds good,” he said, pressing his lips to mine in a fiery kiss.

  I pulled away
with a gasp, unable to stop my hips from rocking against his. To keep from showing him exactly what was on my mind. “We have two days together.”

  “Minus two hours.” He bit my neck as he squeezed my breast, stealing a gasp from me at the incredible pleasure-pain of it all. “And what will we do after the two days?”

  I spun, pulling him down to me. Kissing him hard and long, clinging to him. The man wanted time—wanted me. And for once, I wasn’t going to run away from that. It was my turn to get something real, to have someone to support me. It was my turn to plant my feet and stay still for a while, even if still meant living two states away.

  “We’ll figure it out,” I said, confident in our ability to beat the odds. Knowing we were both strong enough to fight against the powers that would try to tear us apart. We’d each been through hell already… At least now, we’d have each other to commiserate with. “We’ll talk and text and video chat. We’ll stay together while we work out the details.”

  He grunted but returned the kiss, stroking my tongue with his for a few languid moments before pulling away again. “What kind of details are we talking about here?”

  I dropped my hands to the waistband of his blue work pants, unfastening them without a single fumble. “The details of how to manage a long-distance relationship…while we make plans.”

  He sighed and reached down to grab my ass. “I like the sound of plans.”

  “Me too.”

  “So, are you saying you might be willing to come home with me someday?” He licked his lips and pushed his pants down his legs, standing naked before me in more ways than one. That question couldn’t have been easy to ask, and it was definitely not easy to answer. But I had to. This was Easton, and he deserved my truth.

  “Who knows?” I stripped off the rest of my clothes, needing to be just as bare as him. Fighting past the wall of fear I’d built to give him the real me. “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave, and I’m not sure I’m that brave…yet.” My voice cracked, my words stuck. And still, I reached for him. Needing his weight, his strength. His support. Needing him.