Their Matchmaker

by Allyson Lindt

  WHEN GAVIN PRIED HIS eyes open Wednesday, the sun still shone through his east-facing window, and the clock by the bed said it was ten. Fuck. Sobriety sucked. His headache and dry eyes weren’t due to a hangover, because the strongest thing he took last night was an extra dose of Tylenol PM. Because that fucking Aaron-voice wouldn’t shut up, Gavin came back here alone.

  Right. Blame me for your faults, when I’m not even there.

  Gavin pressed his palms to his eyes until all he saw were a million pinpricks dotting the blackness. This needed to stop. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t go home after what happened. There was too much he’d done—

  The words started to form, but he couldn’t let himself think them. He could return to acting. Then he’d have the fun to go with the drinking.

  Fuck this. Fuck it all. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number he hadn’t touched in years.

  “This is Heather.” The woman on the other end was so chipper, it made Gavin wince.

  At the same time, he was grateful she answered. “It’s Gavin Jackson.”

  “No shit. It’s really you? It’s been ages.”

  He didn’t know if he was about to do the right thing, but something needed to give. He had to try something different, and maybe piss off the voice in his head enough to shut it up. “I know. But I’m hoping I can put you on retainer for a few weeks.”

  “Weeks. Months. Whatever you need, you know I’ll do it.”

  “First you have to swear that none of what we’re about to discuss gets out until tomorrow morning. Not a single bit of it can leak, regardless of who else is involved. No one can know where I’m going or what I’m doing.”

  “You know what I’m capable of.” There was no hesitation in her voice. Heather was the best publicist he’d ever met. It wasn’t just her knack for making things public, it was also her insane skill at keeping them quiet and under wraps until it was time to do otherwise.

  He smiled his first genuine smile in days. “I do. And that’s why I called.” If his world was going to crumble either way, he was going to step up, own the direction it fell, and break and reassemble it the way he wanted.

  Chapter Twenty

  AARON STARED AT THE incoming call and Gavin’s picture on the screen. Almost a week with no word. He’d strung himself from fear to anger to guilt, then back down the line in the other direction. And now Aaron couldn’t take the call. Not yet. He swiped ignore.

  Despite spending the next several hours trying to figure out what to say to Gavin, he didn’t take the next two calls either. Irritation raged inside, until he thought he might scream. It was just a fight. They’d had them before and still been together for over a decade. What the fuck was wrong with him?

  The internal struggle couldn’t convince him to listen to the three voicemails. He went to bed that night wishing the answers were written on the wall.

  He woke up to a slew of new alerts with Gavin’s name. Aaron’s mind twisted further in on itself. He deleted the emails unread and ignored the phone call from their lawyer. He sat in the home office, staring at the wall, willing himself to stop ignoring the world. Things needed to be dealt with. Faced. Confronted. Hiding wasn’t his thing.

  Thinking the words didn’t make it any easier to take action. When his phone rang, he only grabbed it because Cyn’s name was on the screen. “What?”

  “That’s what I thought.” Her sympathetic tone was an irritation in an already raw wound, and at the same time a salve over it. “Have you left the house since I was there?”

  “Yes. I’m not a recluse. Just frustrated.” Furious. Guilt-ridden. Terrifi— “What’s up?”

  “Meet me for coffee. Half an hour. No arguments.”

  “I don’t—”

  “Half an hour. There’s a place a few blocks from your condo, so you’ve got plenty of time.”

  His brain was too battered to come up with an argument. Not that he wanted to. “I’ll be there.”

  She was waiting and had staked out a table, when he arrived at the coffee shop. She stood as he approached, and wrapped him in a tight hug when he was close enough. Surprise froze his thoughts, but he recovered quickly and squeezed back, the gesture an amazing kind of comforting. Disappointment whispered in when she pulled away and took her seat.

  She nudged a cup toward him. “Spanish latte. Emily swears they make life better. They’re not as good here as the place in San Jose, but they’re not bad.”

  “Thanks.” He took a sip. Cyn was right; it was a decent drink.

  The way she watched him, brows furrowed and pity in her eyes, set his teeth on edge. “How are you holding up?” she asked.

  A little more frazzled. A little less sure of what to do next. Nothing worth delving into, though. “Same as all week.”

  She raised her brows, mouth twisted in surprise.

  “You expected I’d be doing better?” He gave a bitter laugh.

  “Have you seen the headlines today?”

  Fuck. “I’ve never had a morning in the entirety of my adult life when that question led to a good conversation. And no.”

  “You should.”

  “Or you could fucking tell me.” The words came out in a sharp bark. “Did Gavin start his career again? Get arrested? Is the SEC filing an investigation into my financial dealings? What?” He winced at the hurt that mingled with her shock. “I’m sorry. Please tell me.”

  She sighed and turned her gaze to her hands. “Gavin checked himself into rehab. There was an official statement from his publicist about it.” Cyn wasn’t telling him everything. The hesitation in her words said she held back.

  “What else?” he asked.

  She clenched her hand until her knuckles turned white and her fist shook. “The press release also said... he’s split from his long-time partner.”

  Aaron gripped the edge of the table as his world tilted on its axis. “I need to be alone.” He pushed back from the table, the legs of his chair screeching on tile.

  Cynthia grabbed his wrist. “Call me—or someone—when you’re ready to talk.”

  “I will.” He was already on his way out the door. He didn’t dare think or feel. Was afraid the world around him might crumble if he admitted things were falling apart. He pulled out his cellphone and dialed into his voicemail.

  “It’s me.” Gavin’s recorded voice sent a shudder through him. “We need to talk. Call me back today.”

  Aaron gasped as an invisible hand clenched around his chest. He leaned against a nearby building, turned his gaze to the sky, and let the next message play.

  “It’s urgent. You need to call me before tomorrow.” Gavin’s tone was flat.

  Aaron wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the last message, but he listened anyway.

  “I hoped to do this face to face.” Gavin’s voice was still cool. Devoid of emotion. “I should have stopped by the house before I checked myself in, but I was afraid you’d talk me out of splitting from you, or that seeing you would make me change my mind. My best hope now is that you get this before you see the news tomorrow. I can’t be with you anymore. I love you, and I’m sorry.”

  Aaron let his arm fall limply to his side, and he stared, not processing anything. He expected chaos in his head, but he only had one thought. He needed to talk to Gavin.

  The only bright spot Aaron saw in the news was that he had a pretty good idea where to find him. There was a spa outside the valley, a Hollywood worst-kept secret. It took about two seconds of searching, for Aaron to find the number and dial.

  “Sunshine Wellness and Health. May I help you?” The man who answered was sweet to the point of saccharine.

  Aaron shoved everything negative aside and adopted a cheerful, direct tone. “I’m looking for Gavin Jackson. I believe he’s a patient there?”

  “I’m sorry. There’s no one here by that name. Can I do anything else I can do for you?”

  That made sense. Of course a clinic known for its high profile clients wasn’t going to flinch at denying
who their patients were. “That’s fine, I understand. I’m looking for my partner. My name is Aaron Birch, or it may be under Murdock.”

  “I’m sorry. We don’t have anyone on our approved visitor list under that name.”

  “Are you su—”

  “Have a pleasant afternoon, sir.”

  The line went dead. Aaron ground his teeth together until his jaw ached. He should have known that wouldn’t work. The place was about an hour’s drive, probably longer in daytime traffic, but he’d do this in person. Show ID, put on a smile, and get what he needed.

  An hour and a half later, he stood in the lobby of Sunshine Wellness and Health. “Hey.” He approached the counter with a casual gait, locking away everything that churned inside. “How’s it going?”

  The guy at the desk gave him a painted-on smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Can I help you?”

  “Absolutely. I’m Murdock Aaron Birch.” He pulled out his driver’s license. “How are you doing this afternoon?”

  “Great.” The guy’s flat tone clashed with his retort. “Can I help you?”

  “Here to visit. Is this where I sign in?” Aaron nudged an open binder on the counter.

  The man shut the book. “No. That’s for people visiting our guests.”

  “Which I am. I’m here to see Gavin Jackson.”

  “There’s no one here by that name.”

  “Of course there’s not. He wouldn’t check in under his real name. But I’m on the visitor list.”

  The man kept his gaze on Aaron. “You’re not.”

  “You’re sure? You don’t want to check the system first and verify that? Aaron’s a common name.”

  “I have an excellent memory.”

  “Really?” Aaron’s friendly mask slipped. “You’ve memorized the roster of who is and isn’t allowed in?”

  The guy winced. “Yes.”

  Aaron raised his brows.

  “Look,” the employee said. “If the person you’re looking for were here—which I’m not confirming—you’d specifically be on the do not permit list. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

  “I see. Thank you.” The numbness flowing through Aaron’s veins was better than letting the hurt and disbelief knock him off his feet.

  CYNTHIA HATED BEING the person to deliver the news to Aaron almost as much as she hated leaving him alone after, but instinct told her she needed to give him a little space to process. She wouldn’t want to be stuck in a stranger’s company after something like that.

  Except they weren’t strangers. Or even simple business associates.

  She should get back to work. There was so much to do. Each time she tried to put her head down and focus, Aaron’s hurt expression flashed through her mind.

  When she started this idea, both while Emily was still here and after, when it was just Cynthia, she’d put in long hours and weekends without hesitation. Now she was itching to bolt from her chair like she was hourly.

  She forced herself to stick it out for the full workday. Not that she had much to show for it when five hit and she was on her way to Aaron and Gavin’s.

  Aaron answered with a scowl that looked etched in. “Do you ever stop working?”

  She would have laughed at the question if the situation weren’t so somber. “I’m not here because of work. No pretenses. I’m worried about you.”

  “Why?”

  Her mind recoiled at the venom in his voice. “Because I care,” she said.

  “We’re fucking business partners. Why do you give a shit about anything outside of that?”

  She’d been asking herself the same question all day, and the answer was obvious now. “Besides the fact that we’re human, and you deserve compassion? We’re not just business partners. I’m not going to keep lying to myself or to you about that.”

  “Whatever.” His tone softened, and he opened the door wider.

  She strolled into his apartment and spun to face him. “It’s like this. Sometimes you know a person your entire life, but you never really do. My brother and I were that way. Other times, you think you know someone, but you’ve kept so much hidden, the connection isn’t solid. It’s not as real as it could be. And then there are those people you click with. It only takes five or ten minutes of talking to them, and the spark is obvious. There’s a bond there that can be more. Friendship. Love. Whatever it is, it’s meant to last.”

  He brushed past her and dropped onto the couch with a sigh. He scrubbed his face. “What if you think you have that bond, but you’re lying to yourself?”

  “The two aren’t mutually exclusive. The important thing is that once you recognize something is missing, you correct it, so you don’t lose that long-term bond. You and I”—she bit back the and Gavin that wanted to make itself heard—“have that connection. The first night we met, we clicked. So yeah, we’re business partners. But I consider you a friend, too—hopefully for a long time—and I’m worried about you. Which means you’re going to put up with frequent visits while you work through this. If you want to talk business, and nothing else, that’s fine, but if you ever want to talk about Gavin or anything else, I’m here.”

  “I can’t talk about... him. I’d rather talk to him, but that doesn’t seem like it will be easy. I could flood his email, but that feels a bit stalkerish. Going to the clinic probably was too, but I can’t simply walk away.”

  “But you don’t want to talk about him?”

  He let out a small laugh. It was lined with melancholy, but it was a start. “No. Not yet.”

  “In that case, plug your ears, because I’m going to. There will be a point where he’s ready to take your calls. As long as you’re still waiting.”

  “Of course I will be. I’m not giving up on us.”

  “I know.” And she did. There were few things she was more certain of than the fact that Gavin and Aaron belonged together. The thought rocked inside, chewing at her heart. It hurt to see them apart, and at the same time, the selfish part of her longed to have something even a fraction as beautiful as their relationship. The kind of thing she would have insisted didn’t exist, two months ago.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  GAVIN STARED AT THE phone, willing it to give him answers.

  His afternoon session with his therapist replayed in his head.

  Tell me about Aaron, she’d said.

  Gavin didn’t think that was a good idea. He missed Aaron so bad, it left a hollow pit in his chest. But he also wasn’t ready to delve into that part of his life yet. Not with the wounds so fresh.

  If you have a friend who’s supportive, who will listen, dial them up, the therapist told him. You don’t have to, but company from the outside will be nice. Trust me.

  So he’d asked her to get him a phone number. It wasn’t hard to find. Now he looked between the paper holding the digits and the phone, trying to figure out if this was a good idea. Every bit of logic in his head said it wasn’t.

  Which, given his recent track record, meant he should probably do it. He dialed before he could talk himself out of it.

  “Hello?” Cynthia’s voice summoned a smile.

  “Hey. It’s Gavin. Gavin Jackson.”

  “As opposed to... Gavin Smith?”

  He chuckled. Wow. That felt good. “Do you have a minute?”

  “Yes?” Her surprise and hesitation were clear.

  “It’s kind of sad. I grew up with so much fame.” He didn’t mean to muse aloud, but she didn’t cut him off. “Aaron was the only person really knew me.” Saying those words—thinking about what he and Aaron used to have—hurt more than Gavin expected. “I can’t talk to him yet. I don’t know anyone else who cares enough to take my call for non-business reasons. I’m not being all woe is me; it’s the nature of the life I’ve led.”

  “So you called me.”

  He didn’t know how to interpret her tone. “I had a feeling you’d care. You’re the closest thing I have to a friend right now, though we don’t know each other very well.”


  “I get it. I do.” She sounded sincere. “And it’s nice to hear from you.”

  Relief spread inside. That was the best thing he’d heard in the since he’d arrived. “Now that we have the formalities out of the way, when are you coming to visit?” He forced a teasing tone into his question. It was the nearest to normal he’d felt in weeks. Then again, Cynthia brought that out in him.

  The silence that stretched over the line shattered the tentative calm. “Yeah. Visit. Whenever you’ll have me.”

  “Don’t do me any favors.” The joy bled from him.

  She sighed. “It’s not that, but I’m processing. Aaron...”

  “I can’t face him.” How did Gavin think Aaron wouldn’t come up? “Is he a condition?”

  “No.” Her answer came instantly this time. “But I won’t lie to him about it.”

  “Are you going to offer him a transcript of our conversations?”

  “No. I just want you to know up front that I want to see the two of you back together. Friendship isn’t my only motive.”

  The statement should have made Gavin wince, but as much of him was grateful for it as not. “That’s fair. Friends, huh?”

  “Aren’t we?”

  “I hope so.” The tension drained from his neck. “What I’m hearing is I’ll see you Saturday afternoon?”

  “Give me an address, and I’ll be there at one.”

  Gavin couldn’t fight his smile as he hung up the phone. When was the last time a conversation was that easy and no-strings with Aaron? The question erased his good mood.

  EVERYTHING INSIDE AARON’S heart ached. He’d never realized this kind of pain was real. It had been two weeks, and the wounds were as raw as when he and Gavin fought last. Now he sat across from Cyn, trying to quell a fresh surge of agony. “I’ve been trying to find a way, in to see him, for... well... since I heard the news,” he said.

  “I know.”

  “And he calls you out of the blue and insists you visit.”

  She shrugged. “I’m sure he would have taken a no if I said it, but he was persuasive. You know how he is.”